tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8241450536607462866.post6657955815370211544..comments2023-09-06T06:11:20.961-05:00Comments on The Life and Times of Jo: Lonely, I am so LonelyJoannahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13807379587473251820noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8241450536607462866.post-47716687351367227672011-02-07T07:30:29.914-06:002011-02-07T07:30:29.914-06:00Colleen - you're so right!! It would be a drea...Colleen - you're so right!! It would be a dream come true to have you to work-out with...I'd be making a lot more progress, that's for sure..LOL<br /><br />I'm looking into getting some personal training sessions - well, small group personal training sessions. That might help, if I can find someone with the same interests as I have. :)<br /><br />THANKS EVERYONE!!!Joannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13807379587473251820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8241450536607462866.post-29651357981596146012011-02-06T13:59:11.430-06:002011-02-06T13:59:11.430-06:00Aww hang in there dear. Remember you have a pretty...Aww hang in there dear. Remember you have a pretty busy schedule and I find the busier I get the less friends I have because they do not always understand...<br />I am your friend and I wish we lived closer because we would be working out together!!!<br />*hugz*Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16763288458280255960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8241450536607462866.post-4661662760049065822011-02-06T11:16:43.006-06:002011-02-06T11:16:43.006-06:00Aww - Brandi - I know we would!!!Aww - Brandi - I know we would!!!Joannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13807379587473251820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8241450536607462866.post-3119612331165859832011-02-06T11:10:42.648-06:002011-02-06T11:10:42.648-06:00I've always been the type that had only 1 or 2...I've always been the type that had only 1 or 2 close friends too. My sister always knew a lot of people, but they were more acquaintances than friends. I was often lonely when my one friend couldn't hang out or whatever, but I'd rather have 1 TRUE friend than a ton of acquaintances that aren't there when you need them. <br /><br />I totally know how you feel though. I have a great bff now. I adore her, but she can't always go out when I can, so if she can't go, I usually don't go with anyone. I don't really have anyone else to go with. <br /><br />If you lived here, I would totally hang out with you! Your blog is one of my favorites and I can relate to a lot of what you say. I think we'd get along fabulously! =)Brandi {1 of 2}https://www.blogger.com/profile/05389664471938817007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8241450536607462866.post-26727325872660948662011-02-06T11:02:24.025-06:002011-02-06T11:02:24.025-06:00,). thanks for the reply. I'll try and be mo...,). thanks for the reply. I'll try and be more...err shall we say... positive in future posts? It could be a stretch.M!ssPr!ssyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12182751196006753717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8241450536607462866.post-30292824605571222322011-02-06T10:55:02.132-06:002011-02-06T10:55:02.132-06:00This is one of those posts that I can really relat...This is one of those posts that I can really relate to as I've always only had a few close friends.<br /><br />I have 4 ppl I consider my BFFs. One has been my friend since 1986 though she has lived out of the country for many years. Next time I see her will be when she comes home for her wedding which I am attending but I am not in - as her bridal party consists of friends she's had since she was older and who are her age (I'm 3 yrs older) and who are also close with her fiancee.<br /><br />Are my feelings hurt? A bit I guess even though I understand it. She was out partying and such while I was raising my son so our life paths are set on different speeds.<br /><br />My other BFF has had her main best friend since they were in kindergarten and I am attending her wedding this year and she has her MBF and her to be sister-in-law standing up for her.<br /><br />Are my feelings hurt? No, actually. I am totally cool with this because of how she and I relate.<br /><br />My last two BFFs are, as of late, doing all sorts of things with each other and not including me for various reasons.<br /><br />Are my feelings hurt? Yes. I do a lot of things with one of them - who has been in my life on and off for well over 15 yrs but the other one is a workaholic but since she makes time for my BFF (who I introduced to her) and not me -- my feelings are hurt -- especially since I spoke to both of them about feeling left out.<br /><br />*sigh*<br /><br />Sorry to vent on your post. This is one of those things I can't really blog about...FatAngryBloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11111350848902455866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8241450536607462866.post-25555865167076304962011-02-06T10:52:56.249-06:002011-02-06T10:52:56.249-06:00Well, I have a different take on friendships and a...Well, I have a different take on friendships and all relationships -- the minute a baby is born, s/he starts working on developing relationships -- first for physical survival -- but the urge to develop social relationships presents itself very early, as well. We have a "social brain." We are wired to be social and to have social relationships. I did a whole presentation about this to a (surprisingly large) group of college professors several years ago in Austin, Texas -- the main point of the presentation was how important it is to develop a sense of true relationships in the college classroom and especially in online courses. But the basis for that part (the foundation) was our social brains. I had to some some research myself, because I knew this would be a challenging audience, so I learned a lot.Cathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04574268843230811961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8241450536607462866.post-64283695784163126632011-02-06T10:52:14.489-06:002011-02-06T10:52:14.489-06:00Wow, M.P. quite a spin to put on it, I guess..LOL ...Wow, M.P. quite a spin to put on it, I guess..LOL I get what you're saying - and it makes sense.<br /><br />In reality, I'm never really alone - again, I have my family, my Hubby is my best friend, my mom is always a phone call away. <br /><br />Maybe lonliness wasn't the best way to express it - it's more like a feeling that I'm missing out on friendships, solid, strong, friendships.<br /><br />I definitely can't complain about my life- that's for sure... but I have to face these feelings inside of me to truly open up and cleanse my soul... which is my mission with these Sunday posts.<br /><br />Maybe I have these feelings because I'm lacking the investment - I feel like I really never did my part to invest in relationships... and that's the part that I need to work on. That's what I'm hoping, and what I intend on doing.<br /><br />Thanks for your words of wisdom - they are always appreciated here. :)Joannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13807379587473251820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8241450536607462866.post-16557735483763176852011-02-06T10:46:20.929-06:002011-02-06T10:46:20.929-06:00Hang in there. I have felt the same way too. Bei...Hang in there. I have felt the same way too. Being a mom of 6 doesn't leave lots of time for friendships. You should find someone who seems like they would be fun to get to know better and ask them out to lunch. Or you and your hubby could double date. Sometimes making the first move can get the ball rolling. Good Luck.Losing 100https://www.blogger.com/profile/08426224058817338906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8241450536607462866.post-26407157507825925082011-02-06T10:37:34.072-06:002011-02-06T10:37:34.072-06:00Wow I really hate to be the bearer of bad news aga...Wow I really hate to be the bearer of bad news again, but maybe it's not. Again, having lived a bit longer... here are my observations on life and "loneliness". For one thing I truly believe that again relationships as they are typically defined by life, society, cultures whatever are all just part of the illusion we all make up or have been taught to makeup in our minds. But to expound on the topic further just in case and should "loneliness" truly exist and isn't just another illusion... lately (after numerous experiences good or bad of one kind or another regarding people) the following quote has been coming out of my mouth... We're born into this world alone and we leave it alone why should the in-between part be any different? ie when I find myself in the throws of "loneliness" it doesn't surprise me. What I mean by born/leave. Sure there are people in the room when you are born so I suppose you may not view that as "alone" but I am referring to the actual act of birth... coming down the birth canal. Is anyone in there doing that with you? NOT. Also, when we die. Sure people will be there (however, I think elephants would be better to have around at this moment) but the actual act of dying? The point in time when you die, cease to exist and our souls leave our bodies and go to the great beyond. Yep you guessed it you'll be doing that all by your lonesome. (except perhaps for the whoever supposedly meets you on the other side and is present at the juncture, if that is in fact the case). But think about it? Both of those major events in our life... coming into existence and the departure of this existence as we know it. We are completely ALONE. So I think... in the grand scheme of things... why as far as nature is concerned should the in-between part be any different? If people come and go into our lives for whatever time/attention they come well that is good. Enjoy that while it lasts. But as far as being attached to it or needing it that is probably best left alone (ha no pun intended). I think that is the key to relationships and another of my favorite lines... invest but never attach. Ok so now that I have sounded salty enough on life in general (I'm not really). You might also be thinking, "bitter betty party of one your table is ready". I'm not bitter either. I do identify with a lot of the emotions and observations you have mentioned and these are just some of the thoughts that popped into my head in response. One thing I know for sure that in life sometimes the answer is there are no answers. Life is a mystery and sometimes its ok to not know the answer. You just have to sit in that not knowing and be ok with that. Its freeing really to come to the conclusion that "hey, I may never know the answer to this or that" and once you realize that and let go. Its cool. I think I'm alone too much I have way too much time on my hands to THINK. te-he<br /><br />Carry on... and believe me, you are not alone in your feelings and thoughts. ROFLM!ssPr!ssyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12182751196006753717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8241450536607462866.post-91487570873092650022011-02-06T10:03:04.531-06:002011-02-06T10:03:04.531-06:00Wow - very thought provoking questions... I should...Wow - very thought provoking questions... I should have known that you'd be the person that would make me take the bull by the horns and confront these feelings.. and for that, I love you. :)<br /><br />I have had these feelings for MANY years - dating back to being in the most horrible of relationships. I was made to feel like I didn't deserve anything - I was good for nothing.<br /><br />I finally got over that - and after finding Steve, began to realize that I do deserve a good life... a happy life. I have thought about the missing close friendships, a lot, but it hasn't really gotten me down - until this week.<br /><br />I won't say that I didn't feel like I deserved someone making the effort for me - it's more like having the realization that I had no one else to call on... you came to my aid without question or concern. It was a truly theraputic and touching situation for me... and I needed it.<br /><br />I received an email from a trainer that I met while going to bootcamp during my ordeal offering to bring me food - if we couldn't get out... another one of those "WOW" moments when someone I hardly knew was willing to come to my aid.<br /><br />It all just opened the flood gates to me a little hard... I'm used to not really having anyone but my family to count on - but there are people out there that do care... does that make sense?<br /><br />I want you to know that I feel very bad about what happened to John and his truck - but now, I don't believe that was the cause of my tears. <br /><br />It was more the reality that I didn't have someone to call, someone to ask... but I didn't have to - you were there.<br /><br />In a very long story, what I'm trying to say is - you made me realize that I need to put myself out there more...face my fears of not having true friendships - and to do something about it. :) I hope that all makes sense...it seems it's hard for me to put these kinds of feelings into words.Joannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13807379587473251820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8241450536607462866.post-32075600651010871362011-02-06T09:46:49.400-06:002011-02-06T09:46:49.400-06:00I was thinking about you during the night (yep, on...I was thinking about you during the night (yep, one of those nights), and I was thinking you'd have something heavy to say today, since it's your Sunday blog! Ever since your blog in which you wrote about how BAD you felt about what happened Thursday night and that you actually cried yourself to sleep, I have been thinking about how to respond. And my response comes in the form of questions -- questions I believe my therapist would have asked me!<br /><br />1) What does this feeling of loneliness that you're experiencing now remind you of? By that, I mean, what other times have you felt this? Keep going back -- back -- back until you think you've come to the first time(s) you had this feeling. What was going on? Is the same thing going on now? Or did you simply carry that forward and it no longer applies?<br /><br />2) Is it possible that you didn't feel that you DESERVED someone to make a big effort for YOU (bringing the heater over)? And that's why it was such an emotional ordeal for you?<br /><br />Now call someone or email someone and set up a fun time for you and someone (who might not be a friend right now but could be one in the future) -- make it concrete -- not just "we'll should get together!" Set a time and a place!Cathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04574268843230811961noreply@blogger.com