Relapse, Lack of Motivation...Failure!!

It is with a heavy heart, and a sad soul that I write this blog post. As some of you have noticed, I have been MIA the past 2 weeks. Yes, I have been very busy, but that's not the reason for my prolonged absense. The reason I stayed away from this blog, is because I knew that failure was knocking on my doorstep. My willpower began to fade 2 weeks ago, my desire to continue seem to disappear. I'm not sure what caused the sudden onset of failure - especially after I was doing so well - but it happened.

As with all addictions, relapses happen. I in no way want to make excuses as to what has happened, but I'm never going to overcome the addiction by dwelling on my failures. Life got tough, and I just wasn't tough enough to put up with it.

I don't think that all of my hard work is completely gone. Being that I didn't weigh myself during my challenge, I have no idea how much weight I lost to determine if I've put it all back on. I don't think I have, because I'm still wearing smaller clothes. I haven't gorged myself with food the past two weeks, but I haven't exactly watched my eating - or even worked out.

It's not worth spilling out my pity party story of why I think I let myself go - I just have to figure out how to stop it from happening again. My biggest fall back was the scheduled eating routine. I have never been someone to eat breakfast - and even though I managed to do it for a while for the sake of my challenge, it was always something that I had problems with. I've started looking at other alternatives to help with that. One of them is by using Slim Fast shakes for breakfast. I have a big problem eating breakfast, but do ok drinking it. I started snacking again - and not healthy snacking. Chips, ice-cream, candy - all making their way back into my house, and back into my life. UGH, I hate it even more now that I'm writing about it. Everytime I told myself I was going to go get on the treadmill, something came up that "prevented" it. (I use quotations as a way of showing that I could of avoided the interruptions, just chose not to).

So, what's changed? Why do I want to try again? Same reasons that I've wanted to lose weight for the past 10 years. I was so motivated at the beginning of my 60 day challenge...I thought, if I can get through 60 days, I'll be well on my way of losing the weight. Well, I didn't make it. I made it 3 quarters of the way...which isn't too bad, I guess. It is if you look at how I was so close to the finish line to throw it all away. Oh well, I'm rambling on, trying not to make excuses but not doing a very good job of it.

It's time to start again, pick myself up, and try something new. Thanks for all the support - it really is what motivates me. :)

Day 45: Three-Quarters of the Way!!

I can't believe that I only have 15 days left of the challenge. That's not long - really want to step it up a notch for the last leg.

I was much better today, regarding my eating. I had a Healthy Choice meal for lunch, and a small serving of hamburger casserole for dinner. Got to get my snacks and water back in order. Days that I come into the office are hard for me. I just keep myself busy - so I really, truly don't think about eating. We're currently moving a TON of computers into new offices, and I'm right there with everyone else getting them all moved and hooked up. It's keeping me bending, stretching, walking - so I'm getting some form of exercise.

Wednesday will be better - once I get thru Tuesday..LOL I have time to workout put into my schedule. Same for the rest of the week. It's just about focusing now, working hard, and getting the job done. I want to be able to post some good results at the end of this - and I'll never forgive myself if I give up now after everything I've been through the past 45 days.

Ok, well, got to get back to work...

Till next time :)

Day 43/44 Relapse Over

My last blog post is basically a glob of bologna!! This weekend I completely fell off the wagon - but I got a kick up the ass this evening that's gonna put me right back up on the horse tomorrow.

Saturday, I went out with my hubby and my best friend. We went and had dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings. Did I eat a salad?? NO!! I had a huge ass burger and onion rings!! Then I had the gaul to order a diet coke..WTF?? After that, we went to a club. Now, I haven't been out to a club in a really long time. This week has been a very stressful one, and I just wanted to let my hair down and enjoy myself. Well, I did - but I drank WAAAYYYY too much.

This morning, I was lucky that I had no gloomy hangover. I took my kids over to my mom's house to visit, have dinner. We had spaghetti. I ate way too much. I did no exercise. I felt like shit when I got home tonight.

I don't know what the hell happened to me. So, things have been a little stressful - but holy cow, I just took a nose dive into complete disaster!! So, let's get to my kick up the ass. It came from my mom. Now, don't think she gave me some inspirational talk about how I could lose the weight or anything like that...oh no...she muttered the words I needed to hear to get everything lined out "you'll never catch up to me"!! Can you believe that shit?? Now, my mom's not a tiny woman - she has what I call the "lollipop" figure. She was blessed with gloriously skinny legs, but from the ass up she's round. (Man, she would kill me if she saw this..LOL)

My mom weighs 220 lbs. That's only 29lbs smaller than when I started the challenge!! The way she said the words just sent this adreneline through my veins. My own mother challenging me to a weight war!! Well, I may have lost the battle this weekend...but I WILL win the war. :)

Till next time!

Day 42: Last Day of Slacking

So, things have not been good the past few days. Today is the last day of the slump - tomorrow it's back to the grind and make up for lost time.

I did get out of the house some today - took my dogs to the vet, went to visit my friend, and went out to my mom's. The only problem? No exercise, and no focus on my food. I only had one meal today - again, not good - but it was fried food!! UGH!!

I'm down to the wire now, and no room for set backs. It's no excuse that I've let myself slip just because life has been throwing me curve balls. I should of been knocking them out of the park, but it's just been strike after strike. Well, I'm not out yet - I just have to suck it up and get my head back in the game.

I have 18 days to go until weigh in. I can't back down now, I can't throw everything away that I've been working so hard to do. So, for the next 18 days I'm stepping it up. Starting tomorrow, it's 1 hour on the treadmill and I'm uping the weights too. Mondays and Tuesdays have been my "off" days because I work all day -but not anymore. I'm now going to make myself work out in the evenings - I don't care how tired I am. It's do or die - and I want the results to pay off. It's still not about the numbers at the end of all this - but I want a sense of accomplishment. I don't want the 60 days to be over and think "damn, if I just hadn't slacked off for those few days"...there has to be no doubt in my mind that I did everything I could.

So, tomorrow - game back on...I still got one pitch left...I'm going for a home run!!

Till next time ;)

Day 40/41: Feel Like a Zombie!!

As I reported in my last blog, I thought I was starting to get sick. Well, that may have been the case but has been the last of my worries - cause instead I've had a VERY sick toddler. :(

Tuesday evening, I noticed my baby had small white blisters on her tongue. So, first thing Wednesday morning, we took a trip to the doctor's. I found out she had a viral infection - which they could NOTHING for!! UGH!! So, for the next 5-10 days - she just has to live with it and get over it herself.

I'm no newbie to having a sick baby - but being that my middle child is 7, it's been a while. I forgot how much it takes out of a person taking care of a sick baby. Last night, she was up well after midnight in pain - and there was nothing I could do but console her the best I could and refrain from pulling my hair out. I was then up at 5:30am to take the dog out, and then my baby woke up at 6. Today was a little better - until this evening - but I managed to get her to sleep pretty early...so now I come to my place of comfort - my computer.

What has this got to do with my challenge?? Nothing, really. Except the fact that the last thing I've thought about is getting on the treadmill. With running to the doctor's, not being able to free my baby from my hip, dealing with not feeling well myself, and trying not to pass out from lack of sleep - my exercising has had to take the back burner.

My eating hasn't been the best either. I've only eaten when I've managed to - which has consisted of 1-2 small meals a day since Tuesday. Everytime I try to pick up something to eat, my baby needs me -and so my eating has to be put on hold. By the time she's asleep - I'm just not hungry.

Tomorrow, I have to take my two dogs to the vets - which is right during Jada's nap time - which means no workout, more than likely, again. However, I'm bringing in some help. I'm going to pick up my sister tomorrow afternoon, and she's going to spend the weekend with me - to help me out a little. My hubby's done the best that he could, but being that he works nights - he really needs to sleep during the day, which leaves me with taking care of the baby. The worst part is, my baby is a total "momma's girl" - so even when he does try to help, she doesn't want to leave my side.

So, this is more of a rant rather than an update - but it's an update, nonetheless. Hopefully this will be gone by next week - so I can get back on track...my sanity needs it!!

Till next time. :)

Day 38/39: Feels Like the Sickies Are Making A Visit

For the past two days, I've been feeling a little under the weather. Not exactly sick, per say, but just not myself. Well, my hubby was sick last week, my daughter is running a 101.6 fever right now - so I imagine mine is just starting to hit..YAY!!

I hate being sick, I hate getting sick, and thank goodness it doesn't happen very often. I am blessed to have a VERY strong immune system. A lot of that has to do with the fact that I refuse to take medicines - and my body wards off a lot of sickness. Of course, when I get stressed - my guard goes down and the "sickies" (as I call getting sick) decide that it's great time to invade.

There's pros and cons to being sick when you're trying to lose weight. The pros are, you don't want to eat very much, you puke up anything you do eat, and you have to drink lots of water. The cons - no exercise....well, I sure as hell don't want to do exercise when I don't feel well. I barely have enough energy to sit, let alone get up and walk on the treadmill. Working doesn't exactly help, either - but it's got to be done, and luckily a lot of my work can be done in the comfort of my home.

It's even worse when you have kids sick at the same time. My baby takes first priority, so even though momma feels like she's been hit by a Mack truck - I have to suck it up so that she has all of my attention.

Well, I'm gonna leave today's post at that - I really need to finish up some lose ends that I'm working on. I'm in the office today - so I want to get home as soon as I can.

Till next time. :)

Day 37: Family, Friends, Food

This weekend has been a fun one - not my greatest as far as my challenge goes...but not bad. Most weekends are spent running around with my family going places, doing some shopping, and spending very little time at home. This weekend was an exception - but we had people over, and that wasn't the best situation for me.

I enjoy an alcoholic beverage every once in a while. I'm not a big drinker - just every now and then when I'm out with friends, or they come here. I was good in the fact that I drank my mixed drinks with diet pepsi - but the migraine that slipped in Friday night put a damper on that very quickly. Most of yesterday I spent the day in miserable pain - and we had family and friends coming over for a barbeque. I tried to get a nap in, but that didn't help - so I put on a brave face for my company and went on the best I could.

My migraine slowly disappeared in the late afternoon - right as the food was ready. I hadn't eaten all day - because my stomach told me that it wouldn't of been the best idea - but by the time the food was ready off the bbq...I was HUNGRY!! Hubby had cooked up hamburgers and hotdogs for the family - and I had him prepare me some chicken. I did eat a piece of the chicken, and a hamburger...and then a hotdog..DOH!! Way too much - but being that I hadn't eaten all day, I figure I still didn't go over my calorie allowance too bad for the day.

Also, being that I had felt like crap all day - I skipped my workout. That probably wasn't a good idea, but come on people - I wasn't feeling good..think that's a pretty good excuse.

So, Saturday - day 37 - was a wash. I'm writing it off as a "freeby" day. I was feeling like crap, I didn't work out, I ate too much, and entertaining to boot. Just gonna move on and deal with it. Day 38 I will just get pick myself back up and move on.

Till next time :)

Day 36: No Zipper Needed Here!!

Yesterday was such a motivating day. I had an awesome 45 minute walk on the treadmill - at an increased speed and incline - and then worked with the weights for about 15 minutes. Then, I got showered and got dressed. I put on a pair of shorts that I bought a little over a month ago that were a tad on the snug side when I first bought them. Yesterday, I was able to put the shorts on without even unbuttoning or unzipping them!! I tell ya what, that is such a wonderful feeling. I've noticed that's happening with all of my pants - and it's G-R-E-A-T!!

When I look in the mirror, now, I still see the fat woman. She's not gone, by any means, yet -but she's obviously evaporating. Being that I can't see the physical changes my body is undergoing is sometimes disheartening. I worry that at the end of the 60 day challenge, the weight loss won't be as drastic as I'm hoping for - but I got to keep telling myself that any amount of weight loss is an improvement. I have to be losing something or my clothes wouldn't be falling off of me the way they are. Weight loss is definately a mind over matter program - I've got to keep positive, I've got to mentally tell myself the pounds are going...just must be disappearing from the inside out where it's not that obvious to see yet. ;)

No matter what that pesky scales say in 24 days - I won't be upset, I will be proud...I will know that I spent 60 days changing my life forever. I spent 60 days retraining my body, making it healthier...the main objective. The weight will go - I am more dedicated to that than I have ever been in my whole life. It's not about numbers...it's about my health, and in that I am succeeding.

Till next time. :)

Day 35: Treated Myself - and Ok With It

I've been working so hard lately, not just on my weight loss but on life in general. For 33 days, I haven't eaten a single piece of candy, chocolate, or pretty much anything "bad". I've done a bloody good job of keeping my calories in check, choosing healthy options, loading up on fruits and veggies, and doing my exercise. Yesterday, I made an exception to the rule - but I'm ok with it.

After a great dinner of baked chicken, red potatoes and steamed green beans - I indulged in having a slice of caramel apple pie with a scoop of ice-cream. I don't know why - and even as I was fixing my bowl, pangs of guilt was rushing through my body. I kept telling myself - put it down, it's not going to be good. Then I heard another voice say - "eat the pie, it's not going to kill you - you've worked so hard - you're not going to completely fall off the wagon over one piece of pie". This was a new voice, one I've never heard before - the healthier me voice. So, I ate the pie - loved every bite of it - and that was that.

It occured to me after eating it, that even though I had restricted myself to NOTHING but healthy foods for 60 days - I can't realistically spend the rest of my life never enjoying simple things like a scoop of ice-cream or a piece of pie. A month ago, a sweet indulgance like that would have had a devastating spiral effect on me. One piece wouldn't of been enough, I would of wanted more - and eaten more. Last night was such a wake up call for me. I felt totally ok with treating myself, just once. I knew after I'd eaten it that treats like that were going to be very rare - and that I was ok with that. I've enjoyed seeing my progress, I've felt better physically and mentally than I have in years, and I've come to a point in my life where I truly feel like my life will be different. There won't be any falling off the wagon here!!

It's so funny to believe that in just 30 days, I'm a completely new person. Not on the outside - yet - but definately on the inside. Every package I pick up, I check the calories. Every meal that gets prepared by my husband is portion controlled - and I make any changes that I need to regarding side dishes. Heck, I've even fixed something completely different for myself if I don't like what's being eaten - calorie wise - by the rest of my family. This is not the same person I was a month ago. It's so amazing to me how a piece of caramel apple pie made me feel and see what I'm becoming - and I definately have to say...I like who I'm becoming!!

Till next time :)

Day 34: Where Does the Time Go?

Everyone knows that there's just not enough hours in the day. How anyone manages to get done everything they need to in one day, is totally beyond me. Even among the constant piles of work that keeps being thrown on my desk, the kids that always need something done right when I'm in the middle of something, and the new puppy that needs to be taken out all the time -I'm so happy that I've managed to spend 30-45 minutes just getting on the treadmill.

I've been getting up around 5am with our new puppy to take her out, and then it's go-go-go from then until midnight (if not later) each night. Running a photography business is such a fun venture - but it sure does take it out of me. Not only do I have to go and take the photos, but then I spend hours upon hours of editing so they are perfect - and I have high expectations. My treadmill really has been my saving grace in the past week - cause it's the only "me" time I've gotten since Friday. Sure, I'd much rather be napping - but I sure as hell don't have time for that. Besides, the treadmill gives me the energy I need to keep going for the rest of the day - without it I just don't think I could go with as little sleep as I've been getting.

My stress level has been off the charts the past couple of days - not only cause of the deadlines that I'm battling, or my precious children that are fighting all the time - but now I have personal family drama to throw into the mix. I'm not going to spill my personal drama details, here, because that's not what this blog is for - but I really want to get my point across on how going for a walk (even if it's in the spare room that you've converted into a home gym) can really make you feel so much better.

The one thing that I'm really beginning to learn, and kicking myself in the ass for not realizing sooner, is that exercise is NOT the enemy - it's the best friend I have right now. So, everyone out there that is bombarded with the craziness we call life - take a few minutes to do some exercise. Hopefully, you'll be like me and realize that it's the greatest tool to have in your medicine cabinet for stress!!

Till next time :)

Day 33: All Eyes on Me

Last week, I had a great chat with a nutrition instructor at the local community college. I told her all about what I'd been doing, and she gave me some great feedback. She also asked me if I would be interested in speaking to some of her classes next semester - if the challenge went well. I told her I would love to - and so after that we went our seperate ways. A few days later, I got an email from a student reporter from the community college asking me if I would be interested in doing an interview about my 60 day challenge and the weight that I was losing. Apparently, the nutrition instructor was friends with the newspaper editor - and she had told the editor my story, and so she decided she wanted to do a story about it.

At first, I was very hesitant. Not even 30 days into the challenge was a bit risky to me to be talking about it with a local newspaper. I emailed the girl back and told her my reservations, and she gave me a call. She told me that she was really interested in my story, and would love to do some kind of piece about it for the paper. I guess being that it's summer break, news is kind of slow for the newspaper..LOL

Well, I met with her yesterday - and it went really well. She asked me a ton of questions about what I'm doing, why I started doing it, and why I chose to use Twitter and this blog in order to have people watch what I was doing. She really seemed genuinely interested in my story, and I felt great telling it.

The story is supposed to come out in the next addition, so that will be exciting. She's going to publish my Twitter and blog info so that people that are interested can stay with my story. The pressure gauge notched up a little now, though, because not only do I have cyber eyes following my progress - but now local students and community members, that I know, will be watching (hopefully). That really makes this challenge that much more exciting - and even more motivation to succeed.

Till next time. :)

Day 32: Finding Inspiration and Motivation

One of the hardest things, for me, when it came to trying to lose weight was my complete lack of motivation. I wanted to lose weight, but just couldn't get my ass off of the couch to do anything about it. I stick to saying that an overweight person won't commit to losing weight until they really hit rock bottom - and that's what happened to me, and how I found my inspiration and motivation.

I knew I was overweight. I knew I didn't like the way I looked. I cringed if I saw a photo of myself that someone managed to get of me. It was looking through photos of my annual trip to the zoo with my kids that a light bulb went off in my head. Looking through those photos I hated to see me in them. In those short minutes my mind screamed "YOU LOOK TERRIBLE!!" Pure motivation to start working out ran through my brains. I thought to myself, looking at these photos makes me feel terrible - but it makes me feel like I want to do something about it. I had always had those feelings when looking at photos of myself - but the moment the photos were put away, I was ok.

It was at that moment that I realized I had to keep seeing myself that way. So, I went to the computer and I printed out a couple of the photos I hated the most. I put one on the front of the refridgerator, I put one on my desk, I put one in front of the treadmill. Seeing these photos pushed me to do what I had to do to start losing the weight. I guess it's true when they say a picture is worth a thousand words, because those photos scream at me any time I start to feel the urge for just one little cheat, or just one day off from working out. I see myself constantly, and I hate seeing myself.

So, if you're someone that has real problems finding inspiration and motivation to work out - take some photos of yourself, print them out, and stick them EVERYWHERE. If you hate seeing yourself like that, as much as I hate seeing myself that way, it really does make you want to change.

Till next time ;)

Day 31: Ode to Thee, H2O!!

Before getting on the Weight Loss Wagon, I never really was a water drinker. I still don't drink as much as I should - but I get pretty darn close. Even though I've been told time and time again how important water is when trying to lose weight, I never really understood all of the benefits I got out of drinking so much of it.

So, today, I dedicate this blog to the gloriousness of good, plain (and not so plain) water.

Almost all doctors, nutritionists, weight loss counselors, and trainers recommend that everyone should try to consume AT LEAST 6-8 cups of water every day. Most people know that our body is made up of mostly water, and without it our bodies dehydrate and that is very bad. But, let's be honest - it's not the most exciting drink to pour into our bodies glass after glass. Every time I've dieted, the one thing that I've never stuck to is drinking as much water as I should. That changed when I started my challenge, and I've discovered some other benefits that are probably not unique - but they help motivate me to open yet another bottle of the glorious H2O.

Sweat - It Does A Body Good!:
Before I began drinking gallons of water every day (I exagerate, just a little), I noticed that when I worked out - I just didn't sweat that much. For as big as I am, walking across my house would make a few beads of sweat form on my brow, but when I would work out - I barely broke any kind of sweat. I got really frustrated when this happened. To me, sweating and exercising go hand in hand - it shows that I'm getting my heart rate up and working the flab. When you push your body for a good workout, and barely get any form of sweat - something's not right. I really had no idea that I just wasn't drinking enough water. My doctor told me that if I was going to exercise, I really had to up the water intake. So, when I started my challenge, and started drinking 4-6 20oz bottles of water a day - the sweat started POURING. I mean that, too. Now, when I'm done walking on my treadmill - it looks like I just got out of the shower.

I'm Always Hungry When I'm Dieting:
My biggest challenge with weight loss and eating less is that I always felt hungry. The small portions of food I was eating just didn't satisfy me enough. When the challenge started, I spent the first 4 days doing nothing but drinking water, juice, and eating water based veggies. I should of been STARVING - but I wasn't. It was so weird that I was eating no more than 300 calories for 4 days, but I never once felt really hungry. Of course, you know why - because of how much water I was drinking. When I started eating properly again, I started drinking a glass of water before each meal - and I'm so surprised at how satisfying my very small portions now are. I make sure I always take a bottle of water with me, everywhere I go, so I stay good and full at all times. It really helps when facing temptations at places like convinient stores, get togethers, etc.

What Smooth Skin and Pretty Nails You Have:
I've always been very lucky when it comes to things like acne or dry skin. However, I do have oily skin, and seem to have my share of black and white heads (ewww!!). I also enjoy growing my nails, but as soon as they would hit the top of my fingers - they'd break so easily. Well, no more nasty skin or brittle nails!! WOO HOO!! Now that my body is more hydrated on a daily basis than it's probably ever been, my skin isn't as oily, my black/white heads are non-existant, and my nails are long and barely break!! Could it be that water intake can be the cause of it?? ABSOLUTELY!! Keeping your water intake up where it should helps clear your system. Remember that sweat I was talking about?? Well, it's not just good at proving to a fat ass that she did some exercise, it also cleans out the pores. Dirt gets into those pesky pores deep - and soap and water can't get it all out. Well, sweat pushes the dirt out - and wall ah!! Clear pores!! The nails I just put down to my body getting much healthier - not just by water, but due to the fact that I'm not constantly poisoninging my body with the unhealthy crap anymore, and so all parts of my body are showing signs of being more healthy. :)

Water Tastes Gross!!
Hmmm...I've never been able to define what water tastes like, cause to me, it has no taste. I'm amazed at how many people have said to me that they hate the taste of water, and just can't force themselves to drink it. My hubby was one of those people. He drank soda like it was going out of fashion. He would down a 12 pack of pop almost EVERY DAY!! (and of course he's skinny -makes me sick!!) Anywho - even before I started my challenge, he was looking for alternatives to drink - cause supporting his soda habit was getting way too much for us. He picked up a couple of boxes of Crystal Lite - and he was totally blown away by how good they were. He now drinks flavored water a lot more than soda. There are tons of flavored water options that are still calorie free. I drink flavored water when I'm in the mood for a soda, and even use flavored water on occasion to satisfy a sweet tooth. There are so many options nowadays, it's really hard for someone to say that they just don't like any of it. They even make energy options now so you can still get your caffeine fix from a bottle of water...great, huh?? LOL

It really is amazing the effects water has on us. It's the cheapest drink out there, the most beneficial, yet so many people can't stand it. If you live in an area where your tap water tastes like ass, then buy a filter. They're not that expensive, and the taste really does improve. Now, I'm going to get on my little "save the earth" soapbox for a second and say, if at all possible, avoid buying plastic bottles of water. The occasional bottle here and there is fine, but it's so much better to buy a reusuable bottle. I have a couple of them, so I can keep an extra in the fridge and rotate them out. Now, I'm weird when it comes to drinking water. I find that I drink water much easier out of a plastic bottle - I shouldn't say easier, but I drink more water when I'm drinking out of a plastic bottle. I have no idea why, I just do. So, I keep a couple of plastic bottles and reuse them. It's not good to use them too many times - but using 2 a week is much better than going through cases of them a week.

Ok, so hopefully you are all now grabbing a big glass of water and chug-a-lugging. If not, WHY??? ;) Seriously, try out some of the stuff above - I tell you all the truth, you just have to see for yourself.

Till next time ;)

Day 30: New Walking Buddy

So, I'm not going to have to worry about getting my share of walking for the next few weeks. This morning, I picked up my new walking buddy!! She's who the pic is of :) Her name is Bella, and she's half lab half great pyranese. I got her for my kids, mainly my toddler who LOVES dogs. I have a 8lbs silky terrier, that my daughter just loves to play with - my dog, however, doesn't appreciate it as much - thus why we got Bella.

It's gonna be like being a new mommy again - getting up in the middle of the night. Although instead of sticking my boob in her mouth, I'm going to actually have to go outside and walk her. I'm glad we decided to get her in the summer, so my ass won't be freezing while trying to get her to pee!!

So - a big milestone day for me today!! Half way through the challenge. I got very tempted in jumping on the scale this morning to see how I've done - but I chose not to. I am, however, seriously considering on taking a photo in the same get-up I took my first day pic in - and let you guys be the judge if there's any difference. **Keeping my fingers crossed**

I want a cool way to celebrate my half way mark, but haven't made up my mind on what I'm going to do. I am going to push for another hour on the treadmill, and then some weights - but that's my almost everyday....got to get my mind working to think on what I want to do.

I'm so proud of myself for making it this far. I think this is the longest I've EVER gone on a weight loss frenzy. I believe that you guys have a lot to do with that - so I thank ya. The inspiration and kind words have really pushed me. The next 30 days I'm going to work twice as hard. I'm pretty comfortable in saying that my mind, body, and spirit are in a healthier place - and are striving for success. I want my 60 day blog to be super obvious when I post those before and after photos, and I want the numbers I post to be just as good.

Hopefully my mid-way post hasn't been too disappointing for you. The day is still young, and I may surprise you all with another post today - got to get my juices flowing for some creative stuff...hmmm, think a nice workout might help with that.

Till next time :)

Day 29: Excuses are Like Assholes

If I had a dollar for everytime I've heard the expression "excuses are like assholes, everyone's got one" then I'd be one rich lady!! Before the challenge started, I'd spent almost 10 years coming up with every excuse in the book as to why I couldn't diet or lose weight. "Who has the time for exercise?", "I can't afford to eat healthier - it's too expensive", and my favorite "it's too much hassle counting calories". There's more truth to the "excuses are like assholes" tale than many may believe - it seems the more excuses I made for myself, the bigger my ass got!!

Excuses are people's way of reasoning with themselves that there are valid reasons as to why they don't do something - it doesn't just pertain to weight loss, but every chore or unlikable thing with life. But, it's amazing, that when push comes to shove, how lame the excuses really are. Today I'm going to battle the excuses that I hear all to often, and the ones I used myself.

A quick intro.... I am a mother of 3 children, I am a full time student, I work part-time, and I own my own photography business. I also blog, coach little league softball, and attend all of the sporting events and school functions that my kids are involved in. I also have to find the time to do the grocery shopping, clean house, and do laundry. PLUS, there are several shows on each week that I try to watch. I lead a very busy life - and I LOVE it!! Ok, so now lets get to the excuses:

"There are not enough hours in the day for me to workout or go to the gym"
Now, this is the one I used most often before my challenge started. With just a quick explanation of my life - many could understand my problems when it came to exercising. People often say, just get up an hour earlier every day. HAHAHAHA!! Please!! I go to bed, if I'm lucky around midnight - and up at 6:30 with a toddler...I'm not about to cut into the little sleep that I do get. So, how did I manage to find time?? Well, I bought a treadmill and a home gym system. There really wasn't time for me to travel to a gym - so I brought the gym to my home. I work outside of my home 2 days a week, but I find at least 30 minutes the other 5 days a week to jump on the treadmill. I do it when my toddler takes her nap. The other two kids are old enough to fend for themselves for 45 minutes while I work out. If you run thru your normal day - every single person could find 15-30 minutes to do some kind of exercise. If you watch TV for an hour at night, if you get online to check email 5 times a day, or if you take 10 minutes every couple of hours to step outside for a smoke...YOU HAVE TIME!! Another great accessory I use is my Wii. I have the Wii Fit and the Personal Trainer. The Wii offers a fun option for exercising - and if you're competitive in nature (like me) you'll find yourself working out a lot more just trying to beat your score each time.

"I just don't have the motivation to work out"
Again, another of my favorite excuses. I was always so worn out every day from my hectic life - I just didn't have the motivation to exercise. Then school got out for the summer, and for 5 days a week I've been at home with a 9 year old and an 8 year old that fight ALL THE TIME!! The first day I spent on the treadmill with my radio blasting for 30 minutes, I just didn't want to stop. I was so frustrated when I started, but the workout helped relieve the built up stress - and it stopped me from strangling my kids!! For all of those that don't have kids - or motivation - I'd be happy to send them to you for an hour...yes, just one hour would be all you need before you're screaming for some kind of stress reliever!! Seriously, though, everyone has stress in their life. If you use the excuse "I don't have the motivation" just force yourself to do some kind of exercise for just 15 minutes one day. You'd be so surprised how energized and stress free you feel after it's done. It will then motivate you to do it more often.

"It's too expensive to eat healthier"
You got me with this one. My grocery bill has increased somewhat since I've started eating healthier. One thing to keep in mind, though, is that you should be eating less when you start eating healthier. Think about how much money you spend on soda, unhealthy snacks, etc. Now, pool that money and spend it on healthier foods and you will somewhat break even. Just cause you want to eat healthier doesn't mean you have to go "all organic" like the big hype is nowadays. Don't buy bottled water!! Buy a filter, it's much cheaper. By smaller amounts of stuff. If you're a monthly grocery shopper - start going more frequantly. One good way to do this is plan your meals. Also, don't buy unhealthy junk for the rest of the household and then spend extra on healthy stuff for yourself. It doesn't hurt to get the rest of the household eating healthier. If your a smoker or the occasional drinker - think how much you spend on that each week!! Cutting down on those things and using that money for a much healthier diet pays off more than you know!!

"I hate counting calories every time I want to eat something"
Then don't!! If you plan accordingly, you can do all your counting at once. What I've done is do estimating. I try to allot approximately 300 calories for each meal, and then a couple of hundred calories (broken up) into snacks. Another easy thing to do - just to get you started - is to take whatever you ate before and cut it in half. Use a smaller plate, use veggies as a side dish rather than mac & cheese or french fries.

"I want to lose weight - but I don't want to spend the whole time eating rabbit food"
Just because you're trying to lose weight and eat healthier doesn't mean you have to eat salad and veggies 3 meals a day. Eat what you want, but try to avoid fried foods. I still eat pasta, bread, etc. The only change I've made is to eat whole grain versions. I avoid white flour, sugar, etc and eat multi grain or whole grain versions. They are much better for you, taste just as good (in my opinion) and are much better carb servings than white options.

"I have no willpower - I do good for a couple of days and then I'm grabbing at the nearest bag of chips of candy bar"
You won't kick these habits until you force yourself too. Just like any bad habit, it takes time - and willpower. I found alternatives to help with my cravings. Before the challenge started, I was a MAJOR chocoholic. I couldn't go one day without some kind of chocolate. I can honestly say I have gone 29 days without a single piece of candy or chocolate. How? you ask. I found things to take the place of these cravings. Here's a couple of my replacements to my fav junk food:

Potato chips: I slice up some cucumber, sprinkle just a hint of salt - and ta da!! I have potato chip craving gone!! On occasion, I sprinkle over some kind of seasoning - calorie free - to give the cucumber a more robust flavor.

Late night sweet tooth: I get the urge almost every night for something sweet. That's usually when I'd grab some form of chocolate. Now, a bowl of grapes does the trick. I eat about a half a cup of grapes, or I eat a peach, or some other really sweet fruit. It really helps kick the sweet tooth!!

Ice-Cream: I'm lucky when it comes to this one, cause I'm not a big ice-cream eater. Although, there's nothing better on a hot summer night than a nice bowl of ice-cream. This one is super easy. I buy low calorie frozen yogurt or sorbet instead. It gives me the satisfaction of the frozen creamy goodness - but with much less fat and calories.

Fast Food: I used to be so guilty about eating A LOT of fast food. Mostly for convinience when I was out running around in my busy, busy life. If you work and frequant fast food places for lunch - TAKE YOUR LUNCH!! I hear the excuse now "I don't have time in the morning to get my lunch ready"..LOL Well, then do it at night. Pack your lunch at night, right after you do the dishes or get the kids in bed. It's cheaper and healthier. If that just doesn't work for you - most fast food places are offering healthier options now, but taking your lunch is still the best way to go.

So, there's some of the major ones. If you can think of more - and wanna try and stump me, give me your best shot!! I've got answers, just like you got excuses!! Remember, I got one huge ass that came from all those excuses - and I've managed to find my way around about every one of them!!

Till next time ;)

Day 28: Answering Some Questions

I really appreciate all the questions and support I'm getting - it's very motivational. One thing that I keep worrying about is the lack of inspiration I'm offering by blogging about my journey. I've read some other blogs by women on the same goal as me, and their blogs are very helpful, inspirational, and entertaining.

When it comes to my normal life, I am told I'm very entertaining. I make people laugh - and love every minute of it. I wanted to do the same when it came to this blog - but OMG dieting and losing weight is the hardest thing to write about when I'm trying to be entertaining. I can throw fat jokes out till the cows come home - but throwing them out about trying not to be fat...not so easy.

Anywhoos...I've received lots and lots of questions about what exactly it is that I'm doing that is so different to the other fad diets out there. Obviously, it looks as though a lot of you are more interested in the "hows" rather than the "how is it going". Well, here's my answer:

If you've read my blog from the beginning - you know that I've tried all the craze diets. After failed attempt after failed attempt - I decided BOO to that crap, and decided to do my own thang. Is my diet plan a new one of a kind miracle worker?? Oh, hell no. I shouldn't really refer to it as my own diet plan - it's a combination of things that I've picked up from trials, advice, research - and I want to experiment if putting them together might have better success.

So what is it that you're actually doing, and why only for 60 days??
First off, my experiment is not only going to last 60 days. The 60 day challenge, I created on my own as more of a lifestyle change. I am developing it to help myself retrain my fat way of life into thinking more about losing weight - and keeping it off.

I'm combining healthier eating with exercise - nothing special. I did a 4 day detox to get things started, and that's outlined in the blog step by step. I'm training my body to live on small portions, healthy foods, and ditching the crap stuff. I can't outline an exact diet plan right now, cause that's why I'm performing an experiment. I don't want people to do what I'm doing - until I know it works. I'm also exercising - A LOT. I believe that you can't lose weight by just cutting back on food, alone - not permanently anyways.

So, what happens after the 60 days?
I'm designing the 60 day challenge to be a form of rehab for those addicted to food. Just like a drug addict goes thru rehab to kick their habit - food addicts must do the same thing. My hope is that after 60 days my body will be "reborn" into a healthier lifestyle. My goal, afterall, is not to diet - but to change my whole way of thinking so that my weight loss will be permanent and won't come seeping back after a couple of months.

Why aren't you weighing yourself?? How do you know how much weight you're losing, if you don't weigh in every week?
The 60 day challenge isn't supposed to be focused on how much weight I'm losing - but rather to focus on getting healthier. I definately hope to lose weight - but stepping on a scale can be a very emotional thing. My theory is, you don't show a drug addict continous photos of drugs while in rehab to cure them - you work on other motivations to make their rehab work. I feel that if I step on a scale every week - and I'm not happy about the results, I'll feel some form of defeat. By just focusing on eating healthy and exercising, I can mentally prepare myself for that step when I'm ready.

If you're not weighing yourself, how do you know it's working?
In short, I don't. There are other things that I'm worrying about (see above). HOWEVER, I will say that in the last 28 days, I've noticed my clothes getting much looser, I don't get hungry as much, my snacking habits are all but gone (unhealthy snacking anyways), I can walk 45 minutes a treadmill without having to call an ambulance, and people are making comments about noticing that I'm losing weight. These things are all indications that I'm doing something right.

How much weight do you want to lose?
My long term goal is to lose 100lbs. I started the 60 day challenge at 239lbs. If I had to put a time limit on it, I'd like to lose 100lbs in a year - but as long as I'm making progress, that part doesn't bother me as much. I really don't have a number that I've placed on the 60 day challenge, for all the reasons above. I want my weightloss to be healthy, achievable, and most of all permanent. By losing a large amount too quickly - I definately believe that it will come back. My focus is on a healthy lifestyle...wow, how many times can I say that in one blog??

Ok, I think that about wraps up the main questions for now - will be more than happy to answer anymore that you have.

Again - thank you all so much for the support. I will try my hardest to be a little more entertaining thru the second half of the challenge. I truly believe I wouldn't of gotten this far without you all...THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!

Day 27: Chinese Meltdown

I was so good at work today. I drank tons of water, I had a very healthy lunch, I drank more water...and then I went home.

My hubby is the chef in our house. I can cook, do on occasion, but he's so much better at it than me - and he loves doing it. Well, he's been in a slump recently. A lot of it has to do with the current heat wave we're in. It's really been a benefit to me, cause it means that we've been eating a lot of salads. Well, tonight, hubby didn't want to cook again - but we didn't have any salad stuff left - so we decided to get take out. The vote was Chinese - and that is my ultimate weakness.

I went and picked up our order, and the car smelt like pure heaven. By the time we got home, I looked like a rabid dog almost foaming at the mouth. I laid the boxes out and dug into the sweet tempation of the food before me. I'll admit it - I over did it. I over ate - and my stomach tortured me when I was done. You know me, I have to bring the positive out in a bad situation - so the good was that instead of the normal 2 huge plates that I can normally consume with Chinese food...I only managed to get down one plate, and I felt like my stomach was going to explode. That's a good thing, right?? I think it is -I'm going to say it is. Ok, so I should of only eaten half of what I did - but I didn't eat as much as I normally would have. The other plus was that I wasn't hungry a couple of hours later like I (and everyone else) usually am after eating Chinese. I suffered for the remainder of the evening with my stuffed belly.

Tomorrow I'm going to hit the treadmill and weights HARD. Gonna try for 45 minutes on the treadmill, and get more sets in on the weights. My hope is to post a half way mark photo of myself - but I'm not completely decided. I don't know if I've accomplished a noticable enough difference to post my mid-point results..but we shall see.

I'm getting some great support on Twitter - and I thank those of you that have been offering it. You really are the ones motivating me to continue. I just wish there was a way to bring in more people - cause it really does fuel my fire to keep going and succeed.

Well, till next time. ;)

Quick Recap For Newcomers

So, for any newcomers that I have - WELCOME!!

Rather than making you wade thru all of the previous posts, I thought I'd give you a quick recap of what you've missed up to this point:

I'm a fat woman...have been for about 10 years.

I got sick and tired of failing at all the diet fads out there - so I'm in the process of creating a new one. To start with, I'm doing a 60 day challenge that is almost half way over.

This blog is not a step-by-step instruction manual on what I'm doing, this is a blog to describe how I feel while I'm doing what I'm doing. The step-by-step stuff will come if it works.

I'm not going to weigh myself until the 60 days are over. In the beginning, I weighed 239lbs. I lost 8lbs in my first 4 days because I did a detox - but have no idea how much weight I've lost since then.

Some posts can be a little boring - cause exciting things don't happen EVERY day. I try to be as entertaining as possible -but I even have my off days..and to be honest, dieting can be a very boring topic to write about. :)

If you have any questions - PLEASE post them - I'll be more than happy to answer them. Also, PLEASE follow me on Twitter, if you have a Twitter account. I try to respond to everyone that comments or direct messages me there.

THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT!!

Day 26: Almost Half Way

I can't believe that I'm already half way thru the 60 day challenge. Every day I feel better, I think that I look better - and then I see a photo of myself and thing UGH - I'm still fat!!

I know that I'm not going to have MAJOR results after 3 weeks, but I feel a little disheartened today. I just looked through some photos that were taken Saturday night while I was out with some friends, and one of the photos made me look fatter than ever. I feel my clothes getting looser, I feel my strength picking up, I'm able to do more strenous activity than what I could do 3 weeks ago - and yet I see a photo and my great feelings just crash down around me. When I see horrible photos of me, it really encourages me to keep going and not give up - but I still feel like I've been doing all this hard work, and I'm still not able to see any difference.

It's one of the reasons I haven't stepped on a scale in a couple of weeks. I just know that when I step on that scale, I'm not going to be happy with the results. It's not that I don't think I haven't lost weight - cause I do - but I just feel like my progress should of been better.

Oh well, no time to dwell and feel sorry for myself. I've got a couple of hours left at work - and then home to the treadmill I go!!

Till next time ;)

Day 25: Heat Wave!!

It's a hot, hot day in my neck of the woods today. A heat advisory has been issued, and so my plans of going to my mom's and spending a couple of hours in the pool had to be altered slightly.

I started my morning off with 30 minutes on the treadmill, and my sets on the weights. I sweat my ass off again...damn, I wish that was true - that my ass was actually being sweat off..LOL

We head to my mom's around noon, and it was already 95 degrees outside. I went swimming with the kids for about an hour - but it was just too damn hot to stay out there any longer than that.

I'm gonna keep today's entry short and sweet - cause nothing new really going on.

Till next time ;)

Day 24: Show Me the SWEAT!!

Today was such a great day. It all revolved around an amazing workout I had - and I can actually say I enjoyed every minute of it.

As I've mentioned, I've been doing some walking at the local walking track. Well, now it's just getting too hot - even early in the morning. So, today, I dusted off my treadmill and thought I'd use it. Haven't used it in FOREVER!! LOL I hooked up my radio, blasted some music, and off I went. I walked, and walked, and walked some more - for 30 minutes. Not only did I just walk for 30 minutes, but I walked at it set at 4 mph so ended up walking 2 miles!! The first 10 minutes were a little painful, because my legs were still sore from my pool trip on Thursday..LOL I just pushed through it, and the pain slowly went away. It was also around the 10 minute mark that the sweat beads started forming, and I started feeling some dampness on my neck. By the time the 30 minutes were over I felt like I had just taken a shower - but the feeling I had was AMAZING!! It felt so great to be so sweaty, it felt so great knowing I had just pushed thru a 30 minute walk without any real problems. This is a huge accomplishment for me, cause 4 short weeks ago I could barely walk for 15 minutes without feeling like my chest was going to explode.

I felt so energetic after my walk, I hit the home gym to do some work with the weights. I did 2 sets of 15 reps on 3 different arm exercises - each time lifting 35lbs! Again, after I was done, I felt GREAT!!

I decided to treat myself out with some friends tonight. We went to a pizza place/ bar to watch the UFC fights. I had such a great time. Yes, I had a few beers - but stuck with lite beer. I ate a low fat wrap instead of pizza, so I did good. I got all made up, I felt great - people made comments about my weight loss...I was literally on cloud nine today. Such GREAT motivation!!

Till next time, my lovelys.

Day 21 - 23: What a Week!!

Wow, the days are going by so fast I can barely keep track of them. I can't believe that I'm almost down to being a month away to starting school again. I guess time definately flies when you're having fun...LOL

The past few days have been good. My calves and thighs are very sore, if that's any indication of how the last couple of days have been. I've found ways to get my workout in - even when I didn't realize it. The best way was my trip to the pool with the kids on Thursday. I've been trying to take the kids to the water park at least once a week, but because I take my 19 month old with me - I can't really swim. I spend the 2 hours that we're there following her around. That's not really exercise - but this trip made the definate exception. This week, I decided to try out something new. The water park has two 130 ft water slides that my older kids LOVE. Well, my baby loves going on slides at the park, so I thought, I wonder if she'd like the water slide. Well, I made the treck up 40 stairs carrying my baby (who weighs 30lbs I might add) to see. We got to the top, and I put her on my lap, and down the slide we went. At first, she was petrified - but then she let out a HUGE giggle, and we got to the bottom. Immediately she screamed "again, again". So, once again, up 2 flights of stairs carrying 30lbs, and then again, and then again, and again. We made that trip at least 10 times. By the time we left the pool, my legs were like jello (not only in appearance). Today (which is Saturday), my legs still feel a little sore. It's probably one of the best workouts my legs have received thus far!!

Other than that, I've been visiting the town's walking track. It's a 1/4 mile track, and the first couple of times I did 8 laps. Wednesday I pushed for 10 - and I could of kept walking for a while longer, but I had to get home. This weekend, and next week, I'm really going to start focusing on working more with weights. I'm never going to get rid of my wings (the fat under my arms..ugh) unless I really start working them.

I'm having some challenges with my food. After talking to a nutritionist at the college I work at, she told me that it's just not healthy to have such a low calorie intake each day - especially while I'm working out. So, we decided together that rather than focusing on how many calories I'm consuming - to eat 3 small meals a day, and eating two snacks of fruit or veggies would be fine. I have to still mentally keep track of the calories - but she said that each of my meals are roughly 300 calories, I should be just fine. The goal is to stay between 1000 and 1200 calories.

Till next time my faithful followers - I love you all :)

Day 19 & 20: Work, Work, Work

I'm not intentially updating every two days, it just seems like things are CRAZY busy. Everytime I do a photo shoot, I'm consumed with photo editing for a couple of days after. Regardless of my absence, things are still going well. I can't believe I'm already 2o days in. I'm feeling a big urge to step on the scales and see how I'm doing - but I'm staying strong, not going to do it.

At work yesterday (Tuesday), I did over an hour of heavy lifting - carrying very heavy equipment, loading it, unloading it. By the time I was done, I was sweating my ass off - it's amazing how I can fit a work out in, even when I'm working..LOL My water intake has improved, again - which is good. I bought some more juice, to use as snacks. I'm starting to get the urge to snack, one of my biggest weaknesses. I find when I'm busy on the computer, I want something to snack on. My best friend right now is cucumber. I've found that slicing up some cucumber and then sprinkling just a touch of salt on the slices really helps my cravings. It's almost as good as snacking on some potato chips - but without the fat. If I'm actually hungry, I use a couple of tablespoons of spinach dip with the cucumber. The spinach dip is much more healthy than regular dip - so another tip. ;)

People have started commenting on my weight loss - which is such a fantastic feeling. Even though I don't know exactly how much I've lost, the comments give me a boost that I'm doing something right. I wore some clothes yesterday that were much baggier on me than they were a few weeks ago - so the physical feelings are also a great incentive. I was feeling so good yesterday, that I went and had my hair chopped off. I wanted a new look, and I was so tired of messing with my long hair. I now have short hair, and it feels and looks great. I've added a photo to show you. I'm feeling much better about myself - better than I've felt in a long time. Even though I have a long way to go, a nice confidence boost really makes things better.

Ok, so enough rambling. Time to work out. Here are a couple of photos - before and after - with the hair cut. Is it just me, or does my face look a little slimer? The before photo (top) was taken a couple of weeks ago - the after photo (bottom) was taken last night.

Day 17 & 18: Holiday Weekend - Exhausted!!

Saturday morning, I did exactly what I said I was going to do. I got up a little after 6:30am, threw my workout clothes on, and drove up to the walking track. I did 8 laps of the 1/4 mile trail - I was so proud of myself!! If that wasn't enough to burn off the pizza I ate last night, then a whole afternoon of walking should have.

Saturday afternoon, the family and I headed up to Eureka Springs to do some shopping and also because I was shooting a wedding there that evening. For almost 2 hours, we walked up and down the historic streets - and by the end of it, my calves were on FIRE!! Then it was into work mode while I shot the wedding, and that consisted of lots of bending, walking, etc. - so I got even more workout there!! All in all, Saturday was a very energetic day - and by the time I got home that night, I was completely exhausted!!

Sunday wasn't as ambitious. Due to Saturday's activities, my lazy ass stayed in bed until 11am!! I couldn't believe it when I woke up and saw the clock - I NEVER sleep that late!! I was pissed cause I really had planned on going to walk again. When I rolled out of bed, I thought I was going to collapse. My legs were so sore!! I was happy about the soreness cause it meant that I did something right the day before. Even though I didn't get to go and walk the track, I did go and do some grocery shopping. Not actually a workout, but I did get off the couch - so better than nothing. I've decided that I'm going to try and do the walking track every Saturday and Sunday, and then during the week focus on working out at home - while the baby is napping. That's 5 days a week I'm going to work out. It's just not realistic to work out EVERY day right now, so I'm going to do what I can.

Regarding my eating - I'm still not completely on track with that. The goal was to consume 450 calories a day, and then tomorrow move up to 550. I'm not going to start the 550 regimen, but focus more on eating less than 1000 calories a day with very small portioned meals. My diet will mostly be made up of fruit and veggies, but also include dairy, carbs and protein. I'm hoping that introducing everything back into my diet will also help the fatigue. My doc thinks that I'm not getting enough nutrients, which is causing my body to get tired much quicker than it should - so I have to fuel it.

Ok, till next time. :)

Day 16: Fireworks, fun, and FOOD!!

This morning started out with my dear hubby letting me sleep in while he got up with the baby..such a great man. Then a sweet whisper of yummyness swept thru the bedroom, and my curiosity got the better of me. Just as I was going to roll out of bed to see what sweet desires were being prepared in the kitchen, hubby stuck his head in the door and told me that he had made blueberry muffins for breakfast. He'd used the blueberries that my children and I picked yesterday, that I had full intentions of using for some healthy treat for myself - but no, they went into a batch of warm, tempting, sweet muffins. A quick argument with my mind told me to just stay in bed, and hopefully they would all be gone by the time I decided to get up. Well, no, my thoughtful hubby decided to save me a couple.

I have to take a sidenote to say that I love my hubby very much, and he's been very supportive of my weight loss efforts - but I really wonder if he just doesn't get what it is that I'm trying to do...ugh...

Anyways, I get up and get a cup of coffee and eye the muffins. They're only little, and I asked how much sugar was in them. He told me he "only" used 1 cup for the whole dozen he baked. Again, my mind started screaming at me - but my stomach won and I ate them. I told my mind not to fret, for the afternoon plans were for me to swim in my parent's pool for a couple of hours - so extra workout!!

A last minute invite got my 4th of July weekend off to a festive start. The family was invited to go to a friend's house to watch fireworks from her front yard. No biggie, I love fireworks, but then she told me that she'd be ordering pizza for everyone..DOH!!

I headed out to Oklahoma to pick up my oldest daughter who had been there all week with my parents. The plan originally was to head over there and swim for a couple of hours before coming home, but our quick change in plans caused me to not be able to swim..boo!! Oh well, the plans must go on. After a quick stop home to pick up hubby, we were on our way to our friend's house.

We had a great evening of chatting - but then the pizza arrived. Every ounce of my body - which is too many ounces for me to calculate in my head - quivered with excitement as the pizza was laid upon the table. My mind began racing as I argued with myself over the pros and cons of having a slice or two. The thoughts of the two muffins I had for breakfast, added to the fact that I hadn't worked out all day weighed on me big time. Then I fed myself the biggest line of crap, and told myself - it's 4th of July (almost) - I get a holiday...OUCH!! I ended up eating 3 slices of pizza!! DAMN - all the hard work, all the dedication, gone in a split second. I spent the rest of the evening absorbed in guilt. My mind quickly reminded me of how much I was going to regret the consumption of the evil that layed within. I told hubby that tomorrow morning, I'm getting up early and I'm going for a run. He looked at me with a look that I took as "yeah, right" - but I WILL DAMN IT!!

Well, I feel better for getting some of the guilt off of my chest. I will get up in the morning and go for a run. I will be good tomorrow. I will not throw all of my hardwork out of the window for 3 slices of pizza. The show ain't over till the fat lady sings...and I'm not gonna be singing until I'm THIN!!!

Ok, till next time ;)

Day 15: Berry picking, swimming, FUN!!

Today was a great day devoted to my kids (well, the two youngest kids cause my oldest is spending the week with my parents). I got up at 6am to go meet some friends and take the kids berry picking. The weather was great, the kids had fun, and the best part was I got to bring home half a gallon of fresh blueberries and half a gallon of fresh blackberries..YUM!! After berry picking, I joined some of the other mommies and took the kids for breakfast. I was very proud of myself as those around me ordered bacon, sausage, ham, biscuits and gravy - and for me?? A veggie omelet!! Ok, so it was covered in cheese, so not the healthiest option - but the healthiest compared to the other yummy temptations on the menu.

The weather was so nice, I decided to take the kids to the pool this afternoon. Running around after my toddler turned into quite of a work-out, which got me psyched cause I needed the exercise!! We spent a couple of hours in the pool, and then headed home. After my overkill breakfast, I chose not to eat dinner - as I'm sure the omelet more than consumed my days worth of calories.

I really should of worked out a bit tonight, but I'm a little sunburnt from the pool - so I chose to skip. After yesterday's sad, "poor me" blog, I'm just not going to sweat the small stuff anymore. Even though I have 6 more weeks of my 60 day challenge, I've accomplished the main goal from this whole experiment - and that's to identify portion control problems. I'm making healthier selections when it comes to food - and ok, I'm not sticking to the 1 carb, 1 protein regimen I set for myself this week - but I'm watching what I eat, which is a plus. I'm also playing with the idea that I'm not going to weight myself AT ALL until the 60 days is over...not completely decided yet, but would be interesting to see how much total weight I've lost once it's all said and done. Curious to hear any comments or suggestions you may have about that - just let me know what you think.

Ok, well, till next time. :)

Day 13 & 14: MIA Update

I know, I know - I've been gone for 2 days..and I apologize. Don't worry, I haven't fallen off the wagon - just been very busy with work stuff..which is no excuse, and I'll try not to do it again.

Ok, so day 13 and 14 rolled on as most of my other days have. Part of me feels guilty for coming on here day after day just to tell you that I ate stuff, worked out, etc. I thought rather than just posting what I ate for the two days I was MIA, I'd write about some of the thoughts and feelings that I've been dealing with for the past two weeks.

This week has been really hard for me to stay in control. I was so proud of myself for the first 10 days, and just had a "no one can stop me" attitude. Then I went away for a few days, and I slumped back a few steps and I'm finding it really hard to get back to my normal pace. I'm not totally slipping, but just little things like having an extra carb serving or not drinking enough water is starting to happen - and I don't like it. I'm at a point where I'm scared to death to stand on the scales cause the slightest weight gain is going to totally devaste me. I know that I was going to lose a lot of weight my first week, basically because I was on a liquid diet - and I knew I was going to lose a lot of water weight. That was great, but now that I've started eating "real food" again - I'm scared that the weight is going to come back on.

I know it's probably a good thing that I'm feeling this way. I feel guilty when I eat something I'm not supposed to, I work out a little extra on those days - hoping to make up for my short burst of defeat - but I'm not sure what to do. I could start over - and fast for a couple of days again. I felt so great when I was living off nothing but fruits and veggies, but I know I can't live that way forever. I have to get used to the fact that I'm going to eat carbs and protein - and know how much is enough.

Ok, enough pity talk...positive things. I've started noticing that my clothes are fitting better. I bought a couple pairs of capris a few weeks ago that were a little snug on me, and now I can put them on and can pull them away from my stomach about an inch. That is an AWESOME feeling. I don't see myself getting thinner, but obviously the weight is coming off - right??

Ok, got to run - I'm taking the kids swimming this afternoon, so I got to go and get ready.

Till next time. :)

Day 12: Getting Out of Weekend Mode

Today was a very trying day for me. Coming back from such a fun weekend, straight into work mode made for a difficult challenge when sorting my calories. I made the mistake of not eating any breakfast, and I was really hungry by the time lunch rolled around. I ate a turkey sandwich - and that fixed the hunger. By the time I got home from work, though, I was really hungry again. I settled for 2 poached eggs on whole grain toast. As far as the day's worth of food goes, it wasn't too bad - but I ate 2 servings of carbs and protein over my daily allowance. That can't happen, and now it's time to get into overdrive.

I found myself wanting to snack tonight. I had a epiphany into why I was so hungry - I haven't been keeping up with my water intake. For my first week of the challenge, I was consuming close to 60 ozs of water every day. When I went away for the weekend, I barely got a glass or two in each day. Today was no better - only drinking 1 glass.

It's amazing how much a difference it makes on my hunger when I'm swallowing down tons of water. It's a lesson learned, and one that I have to keep up with every day if I have any hope of making it thru the rest of the challenge.

I looked thru all of the photos today from my weekend, and it was quite devastating. I went with 4 other girlfriends who are all very thin and beautiful. It's so not fun seeing my fat ass standing next to them - but it does make for more of that wonderful visual motivation I crave. I've decided I MUST do something about my god awful arms. My arm flab is the one part of my body I hate more than anything else. I look like I'm gonna take off when I move my arms around - it's just sickening!! I'm gonna talk to Kara about doing some extra work on my arms...yes, I know she's not a real person, I'm not off my rocker - it's just the way I can connect with my workout. I also might dust off my home gym and start doing some weight training.

Ok, well, till next time. :)

Weekend Update: I Failed :(

After a perfect week of doing exactly what I planned, the weekend of temptation was upon me - and I fell pray to the wickedness.

Friday evening, I along with 4 other women set off for a "Mommies only" weekend getaway. The plan was a 2 night stay in beautiful cabin by the lake. I had already made up my mind even before leaving that I was going to stray of course a little - as drinking was involved with the weekend's festivaties. The rest of the time, though, I planned on being as good as possible as far as my eating was concerned - and not over do it.

For the most part, I did pretty well. I consumed more alcohol than I origanally planned, but I wasn't too concerned with that. After getting a little "tipsy", I danced around the living room like a mad woman for a good 15 minutes - that's exercise!! As far as the food went, I did do quite a bit of snacking. Rather than snacking on potato chips and sweets, though, I focused on things like cucumber, hummus, spinach dip, etc. I didn't keep a count of the calories I consumed, but I'm pretty sure I went over my 450 cal daily allotment a little. Saturday was the worst day, as I had a hamburger for lunch. Again, I'm not going to beat myself up over it - as the burger was served with fries, and I had the willpower to not eat the fries and have them taken away.

This weekend was a test to my willpower in making it through the next 2 1/2 months. Did I pass? No, but I didn't completely fall of the wagon either. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity to get a way for a couple of days with some girlfriends, so enjoying myself for two days was the plan. I knew when I was messing up, conciously, which I look at as a very positive thing. I made sure I walked and I did plenty of swimming, so I at least managed to get some exercise in - not a total belly flop in my opinion.

One thing I did decide on the drive home yesterday was that I wasn't going to weigh myself this morning. I went back and forth on the idea all weekend. One part of me was telling me that I needed to see how much damage my binge weekend had done to me, but the other part was telling me that I would be too disappointed with myself if I'd gained weight - and I didn't need anything disheartening. I need to keep a positive mind thru my process, and constanly beating myself up over a weekend off wasn't the way to go. So, I decided that I have a week to make up for my weekend off, so by next Monday I can weigh in and hopefully be even more proud of my results.

Because I'm giving myself a week to mend any damage caused by my recreational activities, I'm also giving myself another week of 450 calories per day. I'm going to try and add some treadmill time a few times this week, in addition to my daily 30 minute workouts. Exercise really is going to be key in getting this excess fat off of my ass - and I've got to get off my fat ass in order to do it.

So, there's the weekend wrap up. Yeah, yeah, I sugar-coated my failure - I didn't stay strong when slapped with temptation - but come on, people, I'm only 1 week in!! I have a long way to go to get to victory, but one slight tumble isn't going to send me rolling all the way to the bottom of the hill!! I'm staying positive on this one!!

Till next time. ;)

Day 8: Feeling Much Better

Today has been, yet again, another busy day - but I'm feeling much better. This morning, I had 2 slices of multi grain toast with 1/2 tablespoon of hummus on each slice. I had a peach for lunch, and I've been drinking plenty of water. Tonight, I had some steamed veggies mixed with some herbs and spices. For my protein, I had a poached egg with it. Sounds gross, right? Poached egg and steamed veggies? You know what? It was REALLY good. A poached egg has way less calories than a piece of meat - and the combination was surprisingly delicious. It's amazing the things you discover when trying to create a diet plan!!

Tonight I'm going to try 45 minutes of workout. I've been so tired the past couple of days, that I need to make the time up - so I'm going to up my workout time. I feel energetic today, so I'm excited about doing it. I know that Kara (my Wii Personal Trainer for any newbies) is going to give me a hard time - that bitch can be so mean to me - but I guess I deserve it. She will be reminded, though, that she also hasn't worked out for the past two days - so she can get off my back!! ;)

Just so you know, I'm going to be going away for the weekend - so there will be no posts for days 9 and 10. I will update the full weekend on Sunday, when I get home. I'm going to be spending the weekend with some friends at the lake - which means there will be tons of food, and tons of temptation. I'm feeling optimistic that I'm going to be just fine. Both mornings, I'm going to get up early and attempt a run - that will be interesting. If I don't make that, then a nice hike by the lake. Even though it's supposed to be a relaxing weekend, it's also a great opportunity to get some exercise in the sun - and have the time to do it.

So, until Sunday - :)

Day 7: Exhausted...Again

Today has been another very long day. I have realized the past two days how tired I become with this diet - when really I'm used to a very fast past lifestyle. I put it down to the fact that my body isn't getting the fuel it needs to in order to keep up. Even though I should take this fatigue as a warning signal, I'm going to ponder on with what I'm doing.

I've been stupid the past couple of days to the fact that I'm saving my carbs and protein for my evening meal - when really I should be eating them in the morning, so that my body has fuel to get thru the day. I'm going to work on this experiment over the next couple of days by eating a carb for breakfast (such as toast) and then having some fruit, sticking with my fruit juice for lunch, and then having my protein with dinner with plenty of sustainable veggies - such as broccoli, cauliflower, etc.

I'm no good to myself if I'm to tired to do anything - and working out is just an excrutiating thought because I'm so damn tired. My body isn't going to work off any extra calories the way it is - it's conserving energy, and that's the last thing I want to be doing.

So, hopefully tomorrow will be better - I'll fuel myself up in the morning and be more energetic to get back to working out. My body can't live on Triscits and Hummus - it needs more, it just requires me to focus on what I'm choosing to put into my body.

I'll get this all figured out - I know I will. I'm not losing any willpower, in fact I'm just more motivated to overcome this little bump in the road...I WILL FIND A WAY!!

Till next time. :)

Day 6: A Day Late..Sorry

Yesterday was a super busy day for me, and I apologize for not getting to the blog - but a day late is better than never. I'll still post day 7 today - will just be later this evening.

Yesterday was a pretty hectic day for me - but I stayed on track. I drank plenty of water yesterday, and enjoyed a lunch of 12 wheat-thins topped with red pepper hummus..YUM!! Dinner last night was my first real meal in 5 days. I had a very small piece of steak (3ozs) and half a baked potato which I put a tablespoon of dairy free Smart Balance butter on. Even though I went above my 1 serving of carbs for the day - I stayed under my 450 calories - just about.

I slacked on my work-out last night, because I ended up falling asleep on the couch due to my exhausting day at work. I don't feel too bad about it, because at work I was walking pretty much all day - so I feel that I got some type of exercise in.

Eating dinner last night was interesting. My usual portion of a meal like that is a 8oz steak, a full baked potato LOADED with butter and cheese, and then a huge helping of green beans or corn (which my dear hubby cooks in tons of butter). I can usually eat a dinner like that with ease, and still manage to follow it up with a bowl of ice-cream. Last night, I barely made it through my dinner. I felt full after eating the steak and half a baked potato. This is huge progress to me because it's a possible sign that my stomach is shrinking and as long as I continue on this path, my body will adjust to being satisfied after much smaller portions - which is my ultimate goal.

I was also very satisfied after my lunch. I planned accordingly, only taking to work with me 12 wheat thins in a ziploc (which is a carb serving). The hummus I used very sparingly on each of the crackers. It curbed the hunger, left me satisfied, and gave me the energy I needed to get me thru my grueling day.

For those of you that have been sending me well wishes - THANK YOU!! It really makes me feel so pumped when I read the comments and supportive tweets. It's still very early in the process -but it's been a very pleasant and positive process thus far. I didn't want this to be a boring blog of what I've eaten, what I did to work out, etc - which I know that's how it's seeming - but I'm going to try and be more entertaining in the coming days. Just knowing that despite the lack of entertainment this blog is really bringing to the table - knowing that I'm inspiring some of you really pushes me forward - and I thank you for that.

Till later this evening. ;)

Day 5: Weight Update - SHOCKING!!

So, this morning was my first official weigh-in since the detox began on Thursday. I had to weigh myself a couple of times, cause I just couldn't believe it. My weight at 6:30 this morning was 245lbs!!! That's 4lbs lost in 4 days!!!

I was totally speechless, looking at the weight on the screen this morning. I got off, got back on, got off again, got back on - and everytime the dial went to 245.

Due to the fact that I spent 10 minutes staring at the scale this morning, I was running late for work and didn't eat the toast that I had planned on eating for breakfast. Instead, I'm going to add my carb to dinner. I'm going to bake some chicken (3ozs) tonight in the oven with some lemon pepper and then have a serving of brown rice and steamed veggies. For the rest of the day, I'm going to stick to the water, but when I get home I'm going to have a glass of fruit juice and later this evening I will probably have 1/2 cup of grapes. All of that should keep me in my 400-450 calorie range.

For the past four days, I've been focusing my work-out on cardio - cause that's what burns the most calories. Tonight, I'm going to follow Kara's recommendations and start working on my core-body, upper body, lower body, etc. Each day I will do a different workout and focus on a different part of my body. As long as I'm sweating my butt of at the end of the 30 minutes, I'll be ok - but if I do a workout that I feel doesn't get the heart pumping enough, I'll add an extra 15 minutes of cardio.

Well, even though it's really early to be posting day 5 information - I wanted to post my weight. I didn't do too bad in making a blog out of today...so I guess I'll be back tomorrow. :)

Day 4: Still feeling great!! Next Weeks Plans

Yet again, another great day. I'm so sorry to disappoint those that were waiting for this fat lady to lose her cool during the hardest 4 days of her life..but fret not, there's still 56 days to go!!

Due to the fact that I knew I was going to eat some chicken with dinner tonight, I kept my daily intake to water only. I had 3 bottles of water, and currently working on my 4th. For dinner I had the chicken (seasoned with a 15 calorie rub) with a salad of lettuce, cucumber, onion, tomato and lemon juice/pepper dressing.

During the past 4 days my ultimate goals were to consume only fruit, veggies, and water and for my calorie intake to be around 350 calories. I kept with that goal every day. Even though I did have a small portion of chicken at dinner on the fourth day, my calorie intake stayed at the 350 calorie level.

Now the fun begins!! My plan for the next week is to add 1 carb and 1 protein each day. Not per meal, but just one serving of each to the entire day's menu. Examples of this is toast for breakfast, and a meat with dinner or meat and rice for dinner, or something along those lines. The rest of my diet will continue to be fruits, veggies, and water. No dairy will be added at this time. My calorie consumption each day should be between 400-450 calories. Another change this week will be the addition of steamed veggies, and more 'robust' veggies such as brocolli, cauliflower, carrots, romaine lettuce (rather than the iceburg I've been using), etc. These veggies offer much more nutritional value than the water based veggies I've consumed the past 4 days.

My ultimate goal over the this whole process is to detox and retrain my body. That will include slowly increasing my food intake each week until I reach the point where I consuming the "normal" 1200-1400 calories a day recommended for my current weight. This process is to give me the will power to control my portions and intake of junk foods. I have a very long way to go, but each day is a great achievement for me. I appreciate the support that I've already received - and look forward to sharing my journey on.

Wish me luck for the next week...till next time. ;)

Day 3: Sticking to It!!

Another victorious day for me. I've decided that this has got to be a mind over matter experiment, cause surely I should be having some major issues and withdrawls by now, right? I didn't work out tonight, which is my first "slack off" but the eating hasn't slacked at all. The only reason I didn't work out tonight is because I received unexpected company - and I thought it kind of rude to excuse myself to work out. I could do it now, but I am very tired and feel like this one night isn't going to kill me. I've been very good with my eating - so there's no reason to think that this one night off from a work-out means total devastation.

This morning, I only had 1 cup of coffee. That's so unusual for me - but I was totally ok after having just 1 cup. I haven't eaten much today, I had an apple and some cucumber, but I have had a couple glasses of juice and 4 bottles of water. I honestly haven't felt hungry today. I'm not sure if it's my body adjusting to the very small amount of food, or something else. Due to this, tomorrow, I am going to eat a small amount of chicken at dinner. My husband's going to grill me up some boneless, skinless chicken to eat with my salad. Even though I'm thrilled that my body isn't tormenting me due to the lack of food, I'm a little worried about not feeling hungry. I'm hoping a little bit of protein will be good.

Tomorrow, I will update the next portion of the program, being that tomorrow is the last day of "detox"

Ok, so that's it for now. I'll update much more tomorrow.

Day 2: Feeling GREAT!!

So, I'm well into day 2 and not a single withdrawl symptom or problem thus far. Before I get into what's been going on today, let me post my info from yesterday.

Yesterday, I consumed a total of 343 calories. I worked out for 30 minutes last night. I drank 80 ozs of water and 18 ozs of organic juice. For dinner, I had a small salad with lemon juice as the dressing. I tell you something, I was really nervous about the no dressing thing, but lemon juice did exactly what I needed it to. It really gave the salad some zing - and it was delicious! I also added some pepper, so it was like a lemon-pepper type dressing.

I really thought that last night I was just going to be feening for something to eat, however that totally wasn't the case. By the time I went to bed last night, I felt satisfied and really good.

This morning, I woke up feeling great. I slept well, and didn't wake up starving. For breakfast I had a glass of organic, pure apple juice and 2 cups of coffee. That's 1 cup less than I had yesterday, so I'm pleased with that. My biggest accomplishment of the day was my lunch. I had a lunch date planned with an old friend, and I was petrified at how I was going to be at the restaurant. We ate at Jimmy John's (like Subway if you're not familiar with it) and I was AWESOME!! I had an "unwich" which is basically a sandwich but instead of using bread, they wrap it in lettuce leaves. What's even better was all I had in my unwich was veggies!! No dressing - and it was yummy!! (Really, no sarcasm here).

I've drank 2 bottles of water so far today. I feel energetic - ready to workout. I picked up a bag of apples at the store today to use for a snack or if I decide I need to eat something. Tonight, dinner will consist of what I had last night, a small salad with lemon juice and pepper as the dressing. I will have some juice later tonight. Before bed, I will have some lemon tea which I didn't have last night because I just felt full..LOL That's kind of funny to think, but I really was.

I don't know if I've just finally reached a point in my life where I'm ready to lose weight, or this is just too early for the evil bitch to kick in after not eating for a couple days, but I guess we will see. I'm a person that believes in mind over matter, so maybe I'm just telling myself that all this food is great and filling the spot...guess the results will soon tell.

Oh, and I haven't forgot about the photos..will get them posted soon!!

Till next time. :)

Day 1: Plan for the First 4 Days and Starting Weight

So, yesterday I outlined my plan for the first 2 days, but after some serious consideration this morning and a lot of planning I've already tweaked my original plans. I stated in my previous post that my "detox" was going to last 2 days. Well, 2 days isn't long enough to accomplish anything, so I am extending my detox to 4 days. It makes sense in a way, being that I'm starting this plan on a Thursday which gives me a fresh start to start retraining my body on Monday.

Before I go any further, I have to get this out of the way. You've all probably heard it before, but to protect myself it must be said. I am not a weight loss professional. The experiment I will be conducting the next 60 days is on my own will. Before starting any form of weight loss program, seek advice from a medical professional. I am not guarenteeing any specific type results accompanied with the program that I am creating for myself. That is the point of an experiment, I will see if the program I create works.

Ok, now to the good stuff. I think I have the whole 60 day plan just about done, but I'm not going to post everything here. I will just do a quick outline of what the next 60 days will entail, and each day I will update my actual food intake/ exercise regimen and all of the feelings associated with it.

The plan will consist of a 4 day detox. The dextox will consist of a fruit/veg/water diet ONLY! I will not be consuming ANY protein (meat, dairy, etc) or carbs (breads, pastas, etc). The idea behind the detox is a starting process of flushing my body of "the bad stuff" and giving it a taste of "good stuff".

After the detox, I will very slowly start adding protein and carbs back into my diet. It is not safe to go an extended period of time without proper sources of protein or carbs, but choosing the right protein and carbs will be cruicial to my success. Remember, my whole point to this experiment isn't only to lose weight, but also 'retrain' my body to live and thrive on healthy foods so that the weight loss will be permanent.

This morning, I purchased a calorie counter/pedometer. This is going to be crucial in measuring how many calories I'm burning in a day. In order to lose 1lb of body fat, I have to burn off 3500 calories PLUS whatever calories I consume. I will more than likely notice a decrease in weight pretty quickly in the beginning, being that I will be consuming very few calories - but that will steady out once I get back up to the 1200-1400 calories I will be consuming once I'm in my "full throttle healthy" mode.

As far as exercise goes, I will be working out with my Wii Personal Trainer EVERY day!! I'm going to shoot for 30 minutes a day for the first week, and then slowly increase. By the end of the 60 days, my goal is to be up to 90 minutes a day. Even if I can't work out for 90 minutes all at once, 3 30 minute sessions will be just as affective. I will also be including other activities that are not planned, but will be in addition to the personal trainer workouts.

Ok, that's the program in a nutshell. So, let's get to my day one starting info. This morning, before consuming anything, I weighed myself. My starting weight is 249lbs. I'm not proud of that, but I'm not going to dwell on it - that's what I weigh from day one. I had a banana for breakfast and I did have a cup of coffee (but baby steps are key). I have drank a bottle of water, and now on my second bottle. Here in a few minutes I will be drinking a glass of organic, 100% pomegranete and blueberry cocktail. This is PURE juice, and NOT from concentrate. For dinner tonite, I will be sticking to my small salad with lemon juice dressing. I say dressing, but it's pure lemon juice - and just a drizzle. Before eating my salad, I will drink another bottle of water. Approximately 7pm tonite, I will do my 30 minute workout and follow that with a 6oz glass of oraganic apple juice (again, pure juice, not concentrate). Before bed tonight, I will drink a cup of lemon tea with some added lemon.

Here is what I look like on day 1. I will admit, I'm deeply embarressed by these photos - but you have to have a "before" to compare to the "after". (Excuse my bathroom mirror shots, but it was the best I could come up with)







As of right now, 2pm, I feel great. I really feel motivated. I don't feel hungry, despite my lack of food - but I think that the water is really helping out with that. It's very early in the game, so I'm sure the withdrawls and stuff will start soon - but I'm staying positive, thinking positive, and geared up for serious action.

Till later ;)

60 Day Rehab Starts Tomorrow

Ok, so I'm revoking my participation in the 60 day challenge sponsored by the Biggest Loser weight loss twins that I blogged about a couple of days ago. It's nothing personal against them, it's just that their competition requires purchasing all of their products for their program. That's not really a problem, but being that I'm wanting to blog everything that I'm doing - I feel I'm going to be infringing on their copyright laws if I buy their products and then give all their secrets away on here for free.

Don't fret, my loyal followers, just because I'm not going to be apart of their challenge doesn't mean I'm not going to do one. I am, but I'm taking on an approach that I will design myself - and then see if it works. Rather than looking at it as a 60 day challenge, I'm doing a 60 day rehab. The way I look at it, drug addicts go to rehab to break their addictions - so I should enroll myself in a form of rehab to rid my addiction to food.

How am I going to do it? You ask. I really have no outlined plan for the 60 days yet, but I'm going to throw together all of the research I've done on my own, as well as opinions and recommendations made by medical professionals and do what I have to do to shed some serious weight in the next 60 days and hopefully change my life forever.

I do know how I'm going to get the ball in motion: a total body detox. Addicts have to go thru detox to get rid of the 'junk' out of their system - so do food addicts. I know I'm not going to get all of the fat that's been globbed up over the past decade in a couple of days, but I've got to at least restart my body and retrain it to like things that are better for me. The detox is going to consist of a 2 day fruit/veg/liquid diet. Now, being that this intro doesn't satisfy things like complete protein (meat and dairy) and carbs from grains (breads, pastas, etc), it should only be done for 2 days max. After the first 2 days, protein and carbs will be introduced on the 3rd day in small doses. Here's my line-up for day 1 and 2:

Breakfast: Lemon tea and a banana
Lemon has great antioxident properties. It actually helps dissolve fat, and tea helps with cleaning the body both inside and out. Also, for caffeine junkies (like myself) it helps with that fact. Recent information has also shown me that caffeine may be a clogger to the system - but coupled with the right foods can actually help burn calories, as it speeds up the heart rate.

Banana's help curb hunger and have good vitamins needed for a low calorie body cleanse


Mid-Morning: Fruit juice/water
Juice from concentrate is loaded with sugar, so the fruit juice will need to be freshly squeezed. If using concentrate, dialute it with half water half juice

Lunch: Bottle of water (20 ozs) and small salad (no dressing)
Drinking a bottle of water before meals helps control hunger. The salad will consist of lettuce, cucumber, onions, and tomotoes. Lettuce, cucumber and onions are water based veggies so hardly any calories - but very filling. Tomotoes help add flavor and are loaded with vitamins. Even though it's hard, don't eat with dressing but try using some lemon juice instead for a little "zing" that's usually added with dressing.

Mid Afternoon: Bottle of water (20 ozs) or glass of water dialuted fruit juice (half water, half juice)

Dinner: Bottle of water (20 ozs) Small salad same as lunch - can add variations of veggies - but keep the serving to a small amount.
This information is the same as lunch.

Evening: Any piece of fruit or a glass of fruit juice

Before bed: Hot lemon tea or lemon water
The lemon tea will help break down fats while you sleep. If you can't handle caffeine before bed, just drink warm lemon water. The tea at this point is merely for taste, and the added benefits tea has to your skin and body.

Ok, I will be starting my official weigh-in tomorrow morning, and will click some pics of my nightmarish self in shorts and a sports bra. I will post the pics -but will add a cautionary statement ;)

Ok, till next time :)