So Proud of My Diva!!

                                        

    

That's my Peanut.  Doesn't she look absolutely BEAUTIFUL??  She's all dressed up in her show choir costume, ready to perform.  And, perform she did.  Her entire show choir gave one ROCKIN' performance, yesterday, that earned them the first place spot in the competition.  Listening to her show choir sing, yesterday, put tears in my eyes with every song that they performed.  

My little girl is growing up so fast.  One minute, she's the chubby faced, cute little bundle of happiness that I nicknamed Punkin', and is now the stunningly beautiful, all grown up *sniff* young lady that you see in that picture.  Where did the time go?

My oldest daughter has always been a passionate person.  She's always had a good heart, a strong desire to succeed, and an ability to light up the room with her presence.  But, I had no idea up until a year ago that she was hiding a talent:  Her ability to sing.  The girl can sing.  That's an understatement.  Her voice gives me chill bumps on my arms, tears in my eyes, and such pride and joy in my heart that I can't even put in to words.  

Yesterday, we traveled to Mt. Vernon, MO, for the Mid-Winter Show Choir Classic.  Peanut's group performed with several other show choirs.  Her show choir, named "The Dynamic Divas" took the stage and just awed the audience with their voices, their choreography, and their ability to own the auditorium and command attention.  I could listen to those girls sing and watch them perform for hours.  They are an amazing group made up of amazing talent, and I consider it an honor to have my daughter be part of it.  We weren't able to stay to hear the results of the competition, but she received a phone call that evening telling her that the Divas had taken the first place trophy home.   

When I look at Peanut, I'm blown away by how wonderful of a young woman she is.  She probably had the roughest time growing up out of all the kids.  Having a mother still in high school, trying with all her might to put food on the table and clothes on her back, and still doing what I could to make her as happy as possible.  But one thing that Peanut has never done is complain about her life.  She has always been grateful for everything she's been through, and like me, looks at her past as the shaping of who she is today.  And one thing I am very happy about is the fact that she has the fighter instinct that I possess.  When she wants something, she goes after it, doesn't give up, and will fight to the death to succeed.  I know with everything in my heart that my oldest daughter is going to continue having one heck of a life, and she's really going somewhere.

We took the two hour car ride home, yesterday, talking about everything and anything.  I love our car ride chats.  I am very happy about the fact that she tells me EVERYTHING.  Her thoughts, her feelings, her random ideas, she lays it all out there.  She's also one of the few people on this earth that I will tell just about anything to.  I have no secrets from my daughter and she keeps none from me.  Although both of us know that neither could keep secrets, because we can both read each other like a book.  And that makes me very happy.  We have the mother/daughter relationship I've always dreamed of having, and it warms my heart to know that the first person my daughter goes to when she needs anything is me.  

One thing I am most certain of when I think about my life is how wonderfully amazing my children are.  All of them. Each with their own unique qualities and talents.  My children are my life, and I think my sole purpose on this earth is to make them happy and raise them to be the very best that they can be. And right now, I'd say I'm doing a pretty fine job of that.  There have been times that I've doubted myself, worried that I'm not doing a good job as a parent, and questioned the decisions I've made about how I've raised them.  But, when I look in to the eyes of my children, I see love, I see kindness, I see happiness... so I am rewarded with knowing I must be doing something right.

Everything that I do is for my kids.  They come first.  Always.  And I don't know what I did to deserve such amazing kids, but I count my blessings each and every day.  

One very happy Momma this morning... and every morning.  

Have a great Sunday, everyone!

Weekend Review

                                     

Another weekend is over, and that leaves only two more weekends before Christmas.  It was an extremely busy weekend, but I had a lot of fun.  I can also now enjoy my next two weekends doing Christmassy things because I'm finally finished with my college classes until January.  Woo HOO!!

On Saturday, I spent the entire day at a wrestling competition with Butter.  Well, that's not exactly true. For the first two hours, before the tournament got started, I went shopping.  I got another load of Christmas shopping done, and I'm just about done.  I have a few more things to pick up to even out the present count and then I'll be ready to start wrapping it all.

Isn't that a cute picture of Jelly up top?  I absolutely LOVE that photo.  I took it yesterday, and it's one of the few photos I have of Jelly where she's genuinely smiling.  Usually it's hard to get her to take photos where she has an actual smile on her face and not a forced smile, but there's a reason she's got such a beautiful smile in this photo and that's because of the girl standing next to her.

The girl with her in the photo is her cousin, and I'll give her the pseudo name "Marmalade".  I don't like using the actual names of the kiddos I blog about, and I think that Marmalade is a perfect compliment to go right along with Jelly.  Marmalade is the daughter of Kyle and Melonie, Peanut's aunt and uncle.  Of course, now they aren't only Peanut's aunt and uncle, they are now also Butter and Jelly's aunt and uncle too.  My kids absolutely ADORE them, and as you can see by the look on Jelly's face, those feelings also extend to their daughter.

Yesterday, I wanted to do something special for Jelly's birthday.  Being that I was at a wrestling tournament all day on Saturday, I wasn't able to do much.  I had asked Jelly what she wanted to do earlier in the week, and she had only one request:  She wanted to see Marmalade.  So, I made some arrangements with Kyle, and we set up a trip to Fun City.

I didn't tell Jelly where we were taking her yesterday.  We loaded up in the car, and made the drive.  I was shocked, but Hubby even came with us. He's not usually in to stuff like we were doing, but I was so happy that he was willing to spend the afternoon with us.  Anyways, as we were making the drive, Jelly was asking a bazillion questions about where we were going.  She's definitely not like me when it comes to surprises.  I love them, and if I know I'm going to be getting a surprise, I soak up the excitement until it's revealed.  Not Jelly.  It drove her stir crazy not knowing what was going on.  When we finally pulled in to the parking lot, she told me the place look familiar.  Then, the realization hit her and she yelled out loud that it was the place she'd come for Marmalade's birthday party, and her excitement level went through the roof.  The minute she saw Marmalade waiting for her inside, they gave each other a big hug and they were off enjoying the fun that Fun City has to offer.

For two hours, the kids played games.  OK, so the adults also spent two hours playing games, and we had a great time.  Hubby took Jelly and Marmalade to play a round of mini golf, Kyle and Melonie played some games with Peanut and Butter, and I tried to win as many tickets as I could for Jelly so she could pick out some fun prizes.  The kids had a total blast, and it made me so happy that my kids have such an amazing aunt and uncle.  I can't say enough good things about Kyle and Melonie.  Not a single second have they ever treated Butter or Jelly any different to Peanut, and it speaks volumes as to the kind of people that they are.  Jelly refers to Marmalade as her "bestest" cousin and Butter has really taken a liking to Kyle because Kyle has promised to take him hunting and talks to Butter about the stuff that Butter is in to - like fishing and hunting.  Peanut loves talking to Melonie about stuff that's going on in Peanut's life, and I love that they have a relationship like that.  She also loves spending time with her uncle, and she really enjoys his company.

When we got home, I sat at my computer and finished up the last assignment for my Ed. Tech class.  I wanted to get it over and done with so that I can spend the next two weeks enjoying the countdown to Christmas.  I also got the grades entered that needed to be entered and wrote my lesson plans.  It was after 8PM by the time I was finished with it all, but I was happy knowing that the next two weekends I can do Christmassy stuff like watch movies and bake.  

All in all, it was a great weekend, and I'm just sad that it's over already.  But, after the amazing week I had at school last week, I'm ready to get back to it today and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the Christmas bug hasn't bitten my kiddos just yet.  I'm expecting another awesome week of school.  

I better get to getting ready...

Have a great Monday, everyone!

Jelly is 7 Today!!

Today is Jelly's 7th birthday.  Time sure does fly by, that's for sure.  It feels like only last year I was changing the girl's diapers and laughing hysterically at all of her funny faces that she used to make.  But, now she's in 1st grade and growing up so terribly fast.  Even though she will always be my baby, she's definitely no baby anymore.  She's well over 4 ft tall, and has a giant personality to match her giant height.

My baby girl never ceases to amaze me with how grown up she really is.  The child will make her own breakfast, and has been able to for a couple of years.  She fixes her own sandwiches, drinks, and knows her way around the kitchen better than I do.  She still likes for me to pick out her clothes each morning, but won't hesitate to inform me if something doesn't match or if she'd rather wear something else.  She has the singing voice of an angel, and I love to listen to her belt away in the car to every song that comes on the radio.  She learns the words to songs almost instantly, and that's something she's done since she was a baby.  

What I really love about this age, though, is the fact that she still wants to curl up with me on the couch to snuggle or wants me to tuck her in at night, but is perfectly content playing in her bedroom or outside by herself.  She's half independent woman, half small child.  She acts her age sometimes and sometimes I swear she's turning in to a teenager before my very eyes. 

Jelly has a true heart of gold, and I love the fact that she's so caring and compassionate.  Every day, after school, she loves playing with her little friend Emma, and she is always worrying about making sure Emma is happy.  If Jelly has a snack, Emma has to have one too.  If Emma wants to color, Jelly does too.  If Emma has to go home early, Jelly is sad and lonely.  It amazes me how much she loves thinking she's taking care of Emma, or that Emma even needs taking care of (she doesn't, but Jelly likes to think so).  

Jelly is the same way when it comes to animals.  She absolutely adores anything with fur, but she's partial to her cats.  She treats her cat like a baby, and thankfully the cat doesn't mind.  It's not surprising to see Jelly walking around with her cat cradled in her arms, wrapped in a blanket, just like a baby.  

I also think that Jelly is exactly one half of me and one half of Hubby.  She can be extremely social one minute, and a recluse another minute.  She's outgoing and friendly to some, and shy and quiet with others.  Some weekends, she wants to go out and do something, while other weekends she wants to stay home with her dad.  She loves writing and playing video games.  Like I said, a perfect combo of both Hubby and me.

As much as I'd love to sit here and continue writing about my baby girl, I need to go and wake her up. I'm sure she's going to want to open her presents and cards before she goes to school, so I need to make sure we have time to do that.  I had to stop and buy cupcakes and candy for her class to take to school today, and she's so darned excited to share them with her friends.  

This evening, we'll have cake and make some plans of how we'll celebrate her birthday this weekend.  Can't wait!

Have a great Friday, everyone!!

Day Four: I'm Thankful for my Sweet Jelly

                                    

Look at that face!  Can't you see the attitude and joy she has about having her picture taken?  That's my sweet Jelly.  My youngest child.  My baby girl.  It's hard to believe that in a couple of weeks, she'll be seven years old.  It feels like only yesterday I was carrying her around, and snuggling with the no-haired baby that she was.

I know I've shared this story, before, but I'm going to share it again because it still amazes me...

In January, 2005 I made the decision to start my journey towards becoming a teacher.  Up until that point, I had been working at the Walmart Home Office and was content with the thought that I'd spend the rest of my days working there.  Yet, I was blessed with a boss that wouldn't allow me to "settle" and urged me to follow my dreams and try my hand at going to college. I was nervous, though.  I had been wanting another baby for sometime, and I realized that I would have to make the decision to try and have another baby, or give up on that option to pursue going to school.  So, that January I made the decision to enroll in classes, and give up on the fact that I was going to have another child.

Despite starting school in January, I did drag my heels a little bit with having a long conversation with Hubby about taking the necessary precautions to ensure that another child didn't come in to the mix.  I vividly remember sitting at Village Inn on a Sunday morning in March, having that very conversation about needing to make an appointment with the doctor to get back on birth control and forever saying goodbye to the thought of having another child.  Waiting until I was finished with school wasn't an option.  I would need to then focus on finding a teaching job, and I'd be pushing thirty by the time I was secure in a teaching position long enough to think about taking time off to have a baby.  

So, that morning, Hubby and I made that decision.  No more babies.

Yet, the reason that morning sits so vividly in my mind is the weird feeling that happened after having that conversation.  Something just didn't feel right.  I mistook the feelings for guilt and sadness.  I was upset that I was never going to be pregnant again, have another newborn to hold in my arms, or finally have a child the "right way" in a committed and loving relationship.

As we drove home that morning, the weird feeling started getting stronger, and all of a sudden a jolt hit me.  A realization.  At that moment, without any sign or symptom, I knew I was already pregnant.

It was the weirdest experience I've ever had in my whole life.  I hadn't been feeling any other form of pregnancy symptom up until that point.  No morning sickness, no fatigue, not even the realization of a  missed period.  I just knew.  Something inside of me ignited and told me I was going to have another baby.

About a week later, my feeling was confirmed.  I was pregnant.  And I was already enrolled in college, taking classes, and was just going to have to cope with the fact that I'd be having my cake and eating it too.  I was going to be able go to college and STILL have another baby.

Talk about miracles.

I loved being pregnant with Jelly, yet it was tough with going to college full time and working a full time job.  And it was August, and me being five months pregnant when I decided I couldn't handle both.  So, I quit my job at Walmart and took on a part time job working in the IT department at the college.  

My pregnancy aligned perfectly with my school schedule.  She was due to be born around December 18th, which was after finals.  So, the plan was to be on Christmas break when I had her.  Yet Jelly never was the child to do anything as scheduled.  I was absolutely HUGE pregnant with her the first week of December, and my doctor just wasn't comfortable letting me go to term.  On December 4th, I was admitted in to the hospital to be induced.  After 13 hours of labor, I gave birth to a healthy 8lbs 12oz baby girl at 5:30AM on December 5th.  My sweet Jelly.  

She was such a good baby.  She slept a lot, and I loved holding her in my arms and watching her sleep.  I would sit and do school work with her bundled up on my lap, soaking in every second I could with her.  

She was also a fantastic toddler.  She was so independent from such an early age, wanting to feed herself, dress herself, and walk along side me rather than riding in a stroller.  She loved music and would dance and sing along to songs.  I have the most hilarious videos of her singing along to songs while in the car, and she'd make the most hilarious facial expressions while she was trying to mimic the singers she heard on the radio.  

She was the only one of my children that didn't have to go to daycare at a very young age.  She was able to stay home with Hubby on the days I worked or went to school, and I was home with her the rest of the time.  She was four before she ever had to go to daycare, and that was during my senior year of college when I had to do a full year of student teaching.  Hubby and I opted for a home daycare, because Jelly had always been in that type of environment.  It was a hard transition for her to start going to a daycare, but she finally did enjoy going and loved who was taking care of her.

It was my first year teaching when Jelly first went to a school-like daycare.  I enrolled her in the preschool at the Methodist church in the town where I teach.  She transitioned very well, and loved her daycare.  She got along well with the other kids, and the small class size made it a good fit for Jelly.  She never really was very social, and that has a lot to do with the fact that she'd never really been around many kids.

Her kindergarten year started out very rocky.  Going from her little daycare to a giant primary school was downright terrifying for Jelly.   The first few weeks of school, she would cry and beg for me not to make her go.  It would break my heart, standing with her at the bus stop outside my school, while she cried and held on to me for as long as she could before having to get on the bus.  Even though she only had about a mile ride to her school, I'm sure she felt like she was being ripped away from me each and every day.  After a couple of weeks of my heart breaking each and every day, my principal finally stepped up and decided enough was enough... for both of us.

One morning, she took Jelly and made me leave her to go and do my morning duty.  I could hear Jelly crying as I walked away, and my eyes filled with tears.  At first, I was angry with my principal for doing something like that to me.  How could she make me leave my baby girl in that state?  But, what I quickly realized is she was doing the intervention I had been needing.  She stood with Jelly that morning, held her hand, and made Jelly tell her about the stuff she was going to do at school, what she'd done the previous day, and completely distract Jelly from the upset she was feeling.  From that moment on, the heartbreaking goodbyes were over.  Each and every morning Jelly wanted me to drop her off in my principal's office, and she was excited about the fact that she was going to get to stand with Mrs. B while she waited for the bus.  

Now, Jelly is in 1st grade and loves school.  She's super smart and her teachers are amazed at how much she can do.  She loves to write, and spends most of her time writing about anything she can.  She even asked for a journal, this year, so she can write about what's going on in her life.  Like Mother, like Daughter, huh?

Jelly is also an avid animal lover.  She absolutely LOVES anything with fur and four legs.  She is partial to cats, kittens really.  And, wants to rescue about every animal she sees walking down the street.  

Even though Jelly is quickly growing up, she's still my baby girl.  She loves to snuggle with me on the couch every evening.  I get to take her to bed, and tuck her in every night.  She's never in short supply of telling me how much she loves me.  

I love that little girl with all my heart, and I'm so thankful she's my daughter.  

I have truly been blessed when it comes to amazing children, that's for sure.  A day doesn't go by where I don't thank my lucky stars for getting to be their mother, having that honor and privilege.

I'm so excited to see how each of their lives play out, but I'm not ready to give up on these days.  The days where they are home with me, with me taking care of them, under my roof and my supervision.  

My sweet, baby girl is growing up so terribly fast, and that makes me sad.  Yet, I see the young girl that she is becoming and I feel nothing but pride in my heart.  I feel that way about all of my children.  I have so much to be thankful for, and I can say that ALL of those things are in someway or some form related to my children.

Man, I love my life!

Have a great Tuesday, everyone!!  

Day Three: I'm Thankful for My Boy

                                       

Today, I get to tell you all about my sweet boy.  My Butter.  I decided not to use the title "I'm Thankful for my Butter" because I didn't want to scare my weight loss team.  I can only imagine how much they'd freak out seeing something like that.  HA!

Anyway, today I get to share with you all how super special my son is to me.  The boy he is, and what he's already overcome in his life is nothing short of a miracle.  I know to be thankful for him each and every day, because like Peanut, he has taught me so much over the years.

I gave birth to Butter a mere eleven months after his sister.  And, if you thought I was scared when I had Peanut at eighteen, you can only imagine what I felt giving birth to a second child less than a year later.  There I was with two babies at the age of nineteen.  Two sets of diapers, two sets of daycare costs, and two sets of different sleeping habits.  And, going anywhere was just a ball, having to lug around a baby that was barely walking and a newborn.  

But, what I quickly learned was that I could do it.  When I thought I had experienced the joy of having a baby and feeling the effects of unconditional love, I severely underestimated how much more those feelings would be ignited inside of me once he was placed in my arms.

He was such a good baby.  So sweet, so good.  But the minute he was able to walk, he took off running, and became quite the rambunctious handful.  He broke his ankle not long after he started walking.  Butter never really walked, much.  He was a runner.  And no matter how many times I told him to stop running or he'd hurt himself, he didn't listen.  One morning, he came tearing in to the living room, tripped, and feel with all of his weight on his ankle.  So, he spent about six weeks in a cast.  Shortly after he had his cast removed, he feel off of a jungle gym at daycare and ended up with three stitches in his head. 

His full of energy lifestyle didn't calm down any when he started school, either.  Within a few days of starting kindergarten, I received my first note home.  His teacher was having a hard time getting him to sit still in his chair.  One note turned in to another, and then another.  And it wasn't long before I was having my first conference with the principal and his teacher.  They wanted me to do something about the fact that he was five years old and didn't like sitting in a chair all day.  I wasn't really sure what I was supposed to do, but I tried rewarding him, punishing him, and just trying to negotiate with a five year old.  That got me nowhere.

The second half of his kindergarten year, his teacher went on maternity leave.  A long-term sub was left in her place, and she had an AWFUL time with Butter.  I got notes and emails daily that he was disruptive and just wouldn't stay in his seat.  My biggest nightmare occurred when I received a call that Butter was being suspended from school for three days for "terroristic threatening".  Come to find out, the sub had left a knife sitting on a desk after she cut up oranges for snack.  Butter picked up the knife, and being the rambunctious little thing that he was, decided to tell the kids that he could stab them with the knife.  The teacher received no discipline for leaving a knife where a five year old could get it, but Butter was suspended for making threats to his classmates.  

First grade was even worse.  Another round of constant phone calls, emails, and notes.  Then, shortly before Christmas, I received a phone call from his teacher telling me that she thought Butter had stolen her wedding ring off of her desk.  He wouldn't confess to her, but he had been the only one to be near her desk when it went missing, and his "track record" of not being honest had caught up with him.  I sat interrogating him for over an hour before he finally confessed, with a tear-stained face.  He told me he'd taken the ring and then thrown it away because he didn't know what to do with it.  I did the unthinkable that year, and took his Christmas away from him.  He received no presents that year.  My way of teaching him that stealing would definitely NOT be tolerated.  That was the worst Christmas of my life.  I can't even explain to you how hard it was to enjoy my favorite holiday knowing my son wasn't involved.  I cried every night over the holiday because of it.

Two days after the kids went back to school, the same teacher called me telling me that she had been mistaken about Butter stealing her ring.  It had been at home the whole time.  I had taken his Christmas away, put him through Hell, for nothing.  And all I got was a measly "Sorry about the mix-up".

That was the ultimate beginning of the rough road Butter would take after that.  He no longer wanted anything to do with school or teachers, and made sure they knew it.  By the time he was in 3rd grade, he had been diagnosed with ADHD, and I was "asked" to have him placed in a special school for "kids like him".  It was also "suggested" that he be placed on medication.

For the next year, I basically lost my son.  He would go through extreme fits of rage and anger.  He would call me horrible names.  He would run away from home, telling me he hated me and never wanted to come back.  Then, his doctor would up his medicine, hoping that would help.  It didn't.  In fact, it just made matters worse.  More medication led to more violent outrages.  He would smash his toys, threaten me, and became completely uncontrollable.  He never showed any remorse, any emotion other than anger.  I went through several months of that before I decided enough was enough.  I drove him to a inpatient facility and begged for their help.  I just didn't know what else to do.  The doctors he'd been seeing just kept upping the medicine, which kept making matters worse, and I was quickly losing my son.

At the beginning of 4th grade, Butter was admitted in to the hospital for 72 hour observation.  They took him off of all of his medication, and waited to see the monster emerge.  But, you know what happened? Just 24 hours after being in the hospital, he started crying.  And he cried, and cried, and cried some more.  Something he hadn't done since 2nd grade!  That caused the doctor to become extremely curious with what had been causing his issues, and started running some tests.  Come to find out, Butter had been having a form of allergic reaction to the concoction of medications he'd been on.  The emotions in his brain had become over stimulated and was causing the rages.  The more the medication was upped, the worse the rage became.  So, basically, the doctors and I had been doing it to him.  

Talk about feeling like the worst mother in the entire world.

Butter spent several months in the hospital, learning how to cope with his situation and undoing all of the damage that had been done to his brain by the medication.  They were the hardest months of my life.  But, the boy that came out of that hospital was my son, the sweet boy I knew, and I was so happy to have him back.

After getting out of the hospital, Butter went back to public school.  He completed the year, but there was some stigma attached to his previous issues.  Then, his sixth grade year, I got my job where I am now.  I chose not to tell anyone but my principal about Butter's issues, and that year was an AMAZING year for him.  He got the best teacher a boy in his situation could ask for, and that teacher helped restore Butter's faith in school.  I owe that teacher more than he'll ever know.  Butter enjoyed school, once again, thanks to Mr. C.

Now, my handsome young man is in 8th grade.  He is no longer the round little butter-ball that was my son a few years ago.  He has shot up past me in height, has lost all of his "extra" weight, and is completely involved with anything sport related.  He loves football, track, and baseball.  This year, he's also trying out wrestling.  He craves acceptance, and loves being a part of a team.

Butter still has his little bouts of trouble, now and then.  But compared to what it was a few years ago is something I can most definitely handle.  His diagnosis of ADHD was and is very real, it was just the wrong medication concoction that he was given.  He is now completely off all medications and copes to the best of his ability.  It's still hard for him to control his impulsive behavior, at times, which ends up getting him in to some trouble.  But, one thing Butter now does is accept his consequences.

He has so much respect for the teachers and the administration at our school.  He loves them, actually.  Because they treat him like a "regular kid".  If he acts up, he gets in trouble, and then it's over.  He gets to move on.  I'm not called daily, his trouble doesn't follow him from class to class.  He's coping, and enjoying school.   And that's all I can ask for.

Over the years, Butter has taught me so much.  To this day, I give him credit for the type of teacher that I am.  I hone in on the kids that are having some trouble and look for ways that I can help.  I never judge kids based on their past.  I never give up.  Ever.  And he's who I have to thank for that attitude.

In my son's short 13 years on this planet, he's been through more than many adults.  Yet, he still has a smile on his face every day.  He is happy.  He's overcome all of the struggles thrown his way and came out on top.  And, I know that he will continue to thrive and overcome all the struggles that try to get in his way.  He's a fighter, and he taught me the real meaning of unconditional love.

I am so proud of my son.  Proud that he is my son.  Proud that I get to be his Momma.  I love him with all of my heart, and thank God for him each and every day.

So, today, I am definitely thankful for my Butter.  For the rambunctious baby he was, the troubled kid, and the handsome, loving, sweet, amazing young man he has turned in to.

Have a great Monday, everyone!

Day Two: I'm Thankful For My Peanut

                                    

It's another beautiful fall morning, here in my world.  Despite it being a bit chilly, I'm sitting on my porch wrapped up in my fleece robe enjoying my morning coffee.  Daylight Savings happened last night, so it's only 8AM right now.  I love fall daylight savings because I feel like I have an extra hour in my day to enjoy.  

It's day two of my Thirty Days of Thankful posts, and even though I don't plan on doing them in any specific order of importance, I figured I really needed to start out with being thankful for the people that are the most important people in my life:  My children.

They really deserve a day individually, because there's just too much to say about them when I put them all together.  The post would end up being WAY too long.  So, I figured I'd start with the oldest and go from there.  

Even though today is just about Peanut, I thought I'd say this:  My children are my world.  My everything. They give my life purpose and meaning.  Everything I do is somehow related to or for them.  I couldn't even imagine what my life would be like without them, what I'd do with myself, or how I'd spend my days.  They keep me on my toes, keep me inline, and keep me extremely busy.  The years of joy they have given me can't really be put in to words.  The only words I do have are the fact that they have been the most amazing 14 years of my life.  Regardless of what struggles I go through, what hardships I may encounter, my children have always been able to put a smile on my face.  The love I have for them is unconditional, and nothing will ever change that.

I gave birth to my first bundle of joy at the age of eighteen.  While I was pregnant, I was young, unsure how I'd support a child, and scared out of my mind.  During my 36 hours of labor, I worried what on earth I'd possibly be able to give a child.  I had nothing.  I was in no financial state to support a newborn, I was barely in a financial state to support myself.  But, the minute my sweet Peanut was placed in my arms, I realized that none of that mattered.  It wasn't about what I had to give to her, it was about what she was going to give me.  The overwhelming sense of love, pride, comfort, and fear.  This tiny person in my arms would be my everything, and it was now my job to love, support, and protect her.  The material things weren't important, as long as I woke up every morning determined to show her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me, the rest would fall in to place.

Now, fourteen years have gone by, and my little Peanut is no "little" Peanut anymore.  She is an amazing young lady.  She has a smile that can light up an entire room, she has a laugh that is contagious, she is absolutely BEAUTIFUL, and she is smart, oh my is she smart.  And "smart" doesn't really do her justice.  She has the ability to problem solve, think critically, and whip through any assignment or problem that's given to her.  Peanut loves to read, loves to learn, and is actively involved in school.  Her matureness is well beyond her years, and I can have conversations and debates with her that I'd never think to have with any other 14 year old.  

I have always considered Peanut my "mini-me".  I see a lot of myself in her.  The way she acts, her personality, and her devotion to her friends and education.  You couldn't really ask for a more committed friend than Peanut.  When her friends need someone to lean on, they can always count on her.  She'll gladly give her friends someone to talk to, and she'll gladly give her advice and opinions on the matter.  She won't sugar coat nor hold back what she's thinking, and is still figuring out that some people don't necessarily want to hear the truth, but prefer to hear what they want to hear.  And that's something that I don't think she'll ever understand, and that's OK. She's an extremely honest person, and I think that's an amazing quality that she has.  

The one thing that I'm extremely thankful for, when it comes to Peanut, is the fact that she tells me EVERYTHING.  And, I know that some people will doubt that statement.  I mean, what 14 year old girl tells their mother everything? Mine does.  When she's got something on her mind, I'm the person she comes to.  Whenever she needs advice, or just someone that will listen, I'm that person.  And, I truly think she comes to me because she knows that I'm going to tell her what I think, regardless of whether or not she wants to hear it.  I'm going to be honest.  Brutally honest.  And that's a quality we both share.  We want people to be honest with us.  But, it's not just when she needs advice.  I get to hear about her day, what she's been up to, how her classes are going, and what's going on in her social circles.  

That kind of trust and open communication doesn't come easy.  I had to first and foremost explain to Peanut that I am her mother, not her best friend.  When she comes to me, she expects to hear what mothers would say in certain situations, but I also have to be cautious how I handle the information that she shares.  Thankfully, there hasn't been too much that has caused this type of dilemma, but it helps reassure her that if the time comes that she needs to share something that she knows I'll freak out about, I'll react the same way I do about anything she shares with me:  With advice, brutal honesty, and work with her on a plan to get through it.  She knows that what she shares with me is kept confidential, and unless the information is related to some form of illegal or dangerous activity, will be kept between us.  

But, I think the one thing that has kept this line of communication open and made it stronger is the fact that I never take anything she says as if it's not important.  I vividly remember what it was like being fourteen.  I remember trying to talk to an adult about stuff that was going on in my life, that I thought was very important, only to be brushed off.  Adults sometimes forget this.  When the boy she likes doesn't like her back, or a friend says something mean about her, or a girl flirts with her boyfriend, I don't blow off what she has to say as being "teen drama".  I'll actively listen, give my opinion, share some of my stories of when I was in that position, and let her vent it out.  I NEVER make it seem as if what she has to say is insignificant or unimportant.  I never give her the lecture about "just" being a teenager and how she'll have much bigger problems when she's older.  And, I truly believe that's the reason my daughter still comes to me with everything.  

Something else I'm extremely thankful for is the fact that she actually enjoys spending time with me.  Peanut loves Mom & Me days when just her and I spend the day together.  We have frequent shopping trips where she and I hit the town for some new clothes or accessories.  But, we can also spend the day driving around and never buy a thing.  It's not about the shopping, it's about the time we spend together.  Peanut actually enjoys my company, and that is something I'm very thankful for.  While she has an active social life, she still manages to fit time in for me.  She always checks with me before making plans to see if I had something planned to do with her, first.  She will gladly rearrange plans so that she and I can do something together.  She also wants me to attend school functions, such as debate competitions, with her.  While most teenagers cringe at the thought of their mom chaperoning an event, Peanut is the first one to volunteer my services.  I get along very well with all of her friends, and that's important to Peanut.  She knows I have no trouble picking up a friend or two and taking them for a day out together.  

With all of this I can share about Peanut, I hope I'm making the point that I absolutely adore my oldest daughter.  Despite her coming in to my life at a time of uncertainty and doubt, she paved the way for me to make my life worth something.  She unlocked a part of me that released the determination and willpower to make sure that my life meant something.  She still keeps me on my toes and reinforces the fact that I am important, and that I have people counting on me.  While being a parent isn't about what my children can do for me, but what I can do for my children, Peanut does so much for me.  She makes me want to be a better parent, a better person.  I see so much dedication and commitment in her eyes, and I know that she is destined for greatness.  

I was truly blessed, fourteen years ago, when a 8lbs 1oz bundle of joy was placed in my arms.  Little did I know how much of a blessing she would truly be.  And what a blessing she continues to be each and every day.  

So, today I say I am thankful for my Peanut.  My Mini-Me.  My oldest daughter.  For she has taught me so much about love, honesty, commitment, and loyalty.  She continues to amaze me each and every day.  She has brought so many blessings in the past 14 years, and I know those blessings will continue to multiply each and every year.

Have a wonderful Sunday, everyone!!

We Share a Debatable Gene

I didn't get to post, yesterday.  You want to know why?  Because my crazy behind was up at 4AM in order to take Peanut to a debate contest.  Not only did I take her to the school, but I had also agreed to go and chaperone the debate event.  

Now, you all know that I love a good debate, but I'll admit I wasn't exactly thrilled about giving up an entire Saturday to listen to 9th and 10th graders debate.  I could actually think of a million different ways I could have spent my Saturday.  I envisioned a day of sitting in a chair listening to kids drone on and on about selected topics that I had absolutely no interest in whatsoever, and basically do everything in my power to stay awake.

To make matters worse, I'd hardly slept the night before.  Jelly's kitten, Shadow, had decided to sleep with me and he's not exactly the easiest cat to sleep with.  He's a snuggler, but wants to snuggle under my neck or on my face.  I just knew if I feel asleep, he was going to smoother me.  So, I was planning a day at a debate contest after receiving about an hour's worth of sleep. Awesome!

So, back to the debate contest.  

We arrived at the school that was hosting the event, and sat around for a while as the kids prepared for their first "battle".  Peanut and her partner sat and studied their cases and made sure they had all their ducks in a row.  I have become quite knowledgeable about the topic because Peanut has been using me to practice for the past couple of weeks.

Even though I wasn't in debate as a high schooler, I consider myself to be quite the debater.  I have an opinion about just about any topic you can think of, and if need be, will research the pants of my opinion in order to support it.  I also have the ability to see the opposing side, and could debate that side if I needed to, as well.  

Peanut and her partner were debating the topic of whether or not their was a benefit to a community when using public subsidies to build athletic stadiums.  When I first heard the topic a few weeks ago, I thought it was going to be a dry as dirt topic.  What I quickly found out, however, is that it's a great topic to debate because there's a fair amount of proof either side of the story.  Peanut's job was to argue the con case, meaning she had to prove that there were no benefits to communities.  Her partner prepared the pro case.  That means I got to play the pro case when I was helping Peanut prepare.  Both of them also had to be prepared to argue the opposing side that they'd studied, because they could find themselves debating either side of the topic once they got in to the debate rooms.

I feel like I had fully prepared Peanut for either side of the case.  While she felt very strongly about the evidence she had collected about athletic stadiums being more of a detriment to the local communities, I was also able to enlighten her with my own evidence that I found proving the contrary.  Which is what her partner had researched, in-depth, and so they were ready for whatever side they had to debate.

They received their first match-up a little after 8AM, and we made our way to the room where the first battle would ensue.  When we got there, their opposing partners were already waiting.  Peanut and her partner decided to "feel them out" by sparking up a friendly conversation.  As we sat and waited, the four of them had a very friendly conversation about everything except debate.  The only information they shared about debate was how long they'd been doing it.  The girl from the other team told Peanut and her partner that she'd never debated before, it was her first time and the boy shared that he'd debated a couple of times before but with a different partner each time.  It was his first time debating with the girl he was with.  I saw Peanut's face light up with that information, and I knew it would come back to bite them in the rear once the debate got started.  They, then, discussed their schools, where they were from, their interests, etc.  It was nice to see them all talking like they'd known each other for years, and I know that it definitely helped Peanut's nerves.  She does much better debating when she knows who she's up against.  After having to sit there for about 45 minutes, the time finally came for them to get started.

We went in to the room, and I sat in the back.  Apart from the judge, I was the only other person in the room.  The kids took their sides, and unloaded the mountain of binders and folders that they needed for their case.  I tell you what, it was like being in a court room and watching opposing council getting ready for a trial.  There's no little speech and a few pieces of documented sources for these kids, they were all professional.  They had MOUNTAINS of evidence and information to use to support their cases, and it was quite eye opening to realize how much work these kids had put in to prepare.

Peanut and her partner lost the coin toss, so the opposing side got to pick whether they wanted pro or con or decide if they wanted to speak first or second.  They decided to go with choosing the con side, so the girls got to decide that they wanted to speak second.  I could see that Peanut was a little nervous about debating the pro side, but I gave her a supportive smile and crossed my fingers under the desk I was sitting in.  

The first girl got started, and it was obvious that she was EXTREMELY nervous.  She stumbled over her first speech and did everything in her power to keep it together.  Then it was Peanut's partner's turn to speak.  She delivered a powerful intro speech, and I was blown away with how much more prepared they seemed.  Then it was time for the other side to argue what Peanut's partner had said, and he did a pretty good job attacking some of her points, but I saw a look in Peanut's eyes that told me he probably shouldn't get too confident, because she was about to rip him apart.  And she did.  She stood up and attacked his contentions, and when it was time to go in to "crossfire" (the individual opponents from each side get to ask questions of each other), it took everything he had to hold himself together.  In fact, Peanut was able to push about every button the boy had, and he even lost his temper a little.  Once he did, I knew that the victory was going to Peanut's side, because apparently rule #1 in a debate is keeping your cool.  In the last crossfire, Peanut and her partner tore the opposing team to shreds with their argument and evidence, and the other team didn't know what to do.  When it was all said and done, the poor girl on the other side was almost in tears, and the boy shook Peanut's hand and said "Well, you just kicked our butts".  I was stunned and extremely proud at what I just witnessed.  And there I was thinking I'd spend my day trying hard to stay awake because I'd be so bored.  HA!

The second debate was much better, and both sides were worthy opponents.  The debate stayed calm and collected, and both sides did an amazing job at defending their sides.  The girls had to argue the exact same side as the first debate.  The two boys that they were up against didn't lose their cool, and kept the whole thing very professional and interesting.  In fact, when it was over I had no idea who had won.  It could have gone either way.  Luckily, the girls came out victorious. 

The third debate was way worse than the first.  Peanut and her partner got their first opportunity to defend the con case.  This time around, the girls hadn't been able to speak to the opposing team before starting, so they had no idea what they were up against.  But, it became quite apparent once the team got started that they were extremely new to debating, and they weren't prepared to defend the pro side of the case.  The girls baited their opponents in to rookie mistakes, like getting the opposing team to agree with the evidence they had, proving that their evidence was outdated and irrelevant, and even managed to get the other team so riled up that they ended up fighting during the debate.  As the boy stood up to defend their side of the debate, and attack Peanut's side, the boy's partner told him (loud enough for me and the judge to hear) to shut-up.  Once that happened, I knew victory belonged to Peanut and her partner.  

The last three debates were extremely intense.  They were up against seasoned debaters that weren't new to debating.  The girls had their work cut out for them, and they were tough debates.  The end results were extremely close, but the girls ended up losing by a small margin.  So, they ended out their day with a 3-3 score.  For it being only the second time either of them had debated in a contest, I don't think that's too bad.  The last three debates had paired them off with kids that had a year's worth of practice, so I think they did a dang good job.

It was after 5PM once the final debate ended, and I was absolutely exhausted.  We had to wait around for a while to find out the scores, and then Peanut and I were able to head home around 6PM.  

One thing I learned from the whole day is that my daughter definitely has my blood coursing through her veins.  Apparently, the ability to debate is in our genes.  I couldn't have been more proud watching her deliver her speeches and evidence, and I envisioned her years from now, standing in a court room, doing what she does best.  No wonder Peanut's interested in being a lawyer when she's older, she's born to do it.  I couldn't help but feel that sentimental spark that flashed before my eyes of me wanting to be a teacher when I was 5, and then picturing Peanut feeling the same way about being a lawyer.  My daughter has a very strong career ahead of her, and I wouldn't be surprised a bit to see politics in her future, even though she denies having any desire to think about that.

Being that I spent the whole Saturday watching kids debate, I am now back in that usual slump of needing to catch up on a day's worth of work.  I have laundry to do, grocery shopping, homework, grading, and lesson plans to write.  I could have done those things on Thursday or Friday, but I was also pretty busy on those days.  It's not like I've sat around for the past three days doing nothing.  But, I've grown quite accustomed to having busy, jam packed Sundays, and this Sunday is no exception.

So, I better get off here and get going on all that stuff if I plan on getting it all finished today.

Have a great Sunday, everyone!

Waist Removal

                                      

Yesterday was another weigh-in day for the team weight loss challenge.  Our team has come up with the name "Waist Removal", and I think it's very fitting.  I tell ya, I feel much more motivated being a part of a team challenge.  It's bringing the competitiveness out in me that I need to get stuff done.  

This week, I didn't have a great week though.  I weighed myself before leaving for work yesterday, and saw a 2lbs gain on the scale.  I put it down to not drinking enough water and not doing any form of exercise.  I lost 4.6lbs the week before, but this week the scale had barely moved and when it did, it wasn't in the direction I wanted it to.

However, when I got to work and stood on the scale I was shocked to see a LOSS of 1.6lbs.  Which is only a percentage of 0.61%, but it's sure better than the gain I was expecting.  That means that in two weeks, I've lost 6lbs!  I think that's awesome, and I'm very proud of that.  

As sad as it sounds, I'm happy that everyone had a tough week this past week.  Nobody gained, which is awesome, but I wasn't the only one to see a small loss.  In fact, our team moved from last place in to tied 2nd place.  The percentage between the first and second place is only a few tenths of a percentage, so it's a very close competition.  

As an added incentive, our coordinator decided to throw in a little individual challenge for the next week.  She gave us each a pedometer and told us that the person with the most steps by next week is going to win a prize.  As a teacher, it's amazing how many steps I take in a day.  I mean, they aren't the type of steps that help me lose any weight, but I clocked almost 7000 in a little over 4 hours.  I found myself walking a lot more and making myself go and visit people across the building so that I could log a few extra steps.  I don't know if I'll win this challenge, but I'm going to try.  I might as well, even if it's just to see how many steps I take in a week.  It should be very enlightening.  

I had planned on walking around during recess today, but that's not going to happen.  It's absolutely POURING rain right now, and has since early yesterday evening.  That's going to mean indoor recess for us, so I'll just have to make do with walking laps around my classroom all day.  

Speaking of pouring rain, I didn't get to log any steps last night because I spent the ENTIRE evening in my car, driving.  Butter had a football game in Mt. Vernon.  That's about an hour and twenty minute drive from where I work, but almost two hours from where I live.  Peanut, Jelly, and I left school around 4:30, and decided to start making the drive.  Not long in to our trip, we saw some very ominous clouds on the horizon.  As we drove in to the town where we were going to grab dinner, the rain started POURING down.  It was so hard, I could barely see in front of us.  I texted Butter to see what the weather was like in the town they were playing ball, and he told me it was raining.  Great.  

Now, football players play ball in the rain.  Rain won't stop them from playing.  The only thing that stops them is if there's lightning in the vicinity.  We didn't see any lightning until about 30 more minutes in to our trip, and it was extremely bright, close lightning.  When we finally arrived at the ball field, it was around 6:30PM.  It had poured rain on us the entire drive, causing me to drive a lot slower than I normally would.  The 7th grade boys were playing in the pouring rain, and it was nearing the end of the 3rd quarter.  The girls and I decided to stay in the car, because I wasn't going to sit in the bleachers in the pouring rain.  Well, just as the 8th grade players started warming up, and the 7th grade team had a little over a minute left of playing time, a bolt of lightning lit up the sky overhead causing the refs to call the game immediately.

The original plan was to wait 30 minutes to allow time for the storm to pass before the 8th graders played, but that decision got nixed after about 5 minutes due to the fact that the radar showed no sign of the storm stopping any time soon.  So, the 8th grade game was cancelled.  

So, we waited for Butter and began the long drive home.  It was a little after 9PM when we pulled in the driveway.  I can't even imagine what the time would have been had the game actually gone on.  That's still a pretty late night when Butter's team didn't even play.  And it rained and stormed ALL. THE. WAY. HOME.  The drive home was long, but it was pretty.  I saw some of the brightest lightning I've ever seen in my life.  At one point, a bolt of lightning hit the road just ahead of me, and it was so bright it left my vision a little blurry for a few minutes.  It hasn't stopped since, and right now you can't tell where my yard stops and my pool begins.  There's water everywhere, and it's still coming down extremely hard.  Thank goodness for covered patios.  

Jelly was supposed to go on a field trip today, but they went ahead and cancelled that yesterday and have rescheduled it for next week.  Butter's football practice has also been cancelled.  Peanut is going on a debate overnight trip tonight, so that means we get to come home early!! Woo-hoo!!  That hasn't happened since school started.

But, before I can come home early and relax, I need to get through this rainy day.  I'm going to have a great day, and end the week with a bang.  I've got some great stuff to share about what happened in our classroom yesterday, but I'll save that for tomorrow's post.

Have a great day, everyone, and try to stay dry!

Crazy, Busy Week

I can't believe it's already Wednesday.  It feels like I was just sitting here and it was Sunday morning.  It seems so crazy that we're half way through this week already, and that's probably because this week has been non-stop.  

Monday night I drove to Lamar, Missouri for a football game.  Unfortunately, Butter couldn't play because he suffered a concussion at practice on Friday which put him out of commission for a week.  He still has to be at the game, though, standing on the sidelines with his team.  It was a great game though, and I'm glad I got to see it.  His team pulled a great 44-30 win over the Lamar Tigers.  Being that Lamar is almost two hours away from where we live, we didn't get home until 11:30 that night.  Talk about exhausted.  It's why I didn't write a blog yesterday.  I needed a little more than four hours of sleep, so I stayed in bed for an extra hour.

Yesterday evening it was our Family Night at school.  It's my favorite Family Night of the year, because we have fire pits, ghost stories, hot dogs, and s'mores.  The kids absolutely love it, and we always have a great turn out.  I heard we had over 500 families in attendance last night, which is fantastic.  For the first time, we joined forces with the primary school.  They provided some craft activities for the kids to do, and I know that my three kids had a fun time.  I did what I always do at Family Nights and worked with the rest of the 4th grade team in the food area.  We got all the plates loaded with the fixings everyone needed for their hotdogs and s'mores.  But, as much fun as it was, we still didn't get home until after 8:30.  I was ready for bed the minute I walked in the front door.

This evening, we have a staff meeting and then I have class.  So, another late night.  Due to all of the craziness that has ensued since my last class, I have still yet to do my homework.  Not a great example to set for myself, but it's hard to get stuff done when I'm gone every night here, there, and everywhere.  As much as I don't like homework, I know it's something that has to be done.  It's also a great way for me to empathize with my students.  I try and give them time during the day to work on homework, which is something I don't always have the luxury of having.  Most weeks, I work on my homework while I'm waiting for Butter to finish football practice.  Haven't had a chance to do that this week.  But, like I tell my kids all the time:  Excuses are like underwear, everyone has them and they all stink.  I'll get the homework done.  

Tomorrow morning, I have my weigh-in for the weight loss contest.  I have not had a good week this week.  I haven't splurged or gone crazy, but I've had a really hard time getting the scale to do down.  I even saw a gain this morning, which has really upset me.  It's always disheartening to see a gain after trying to be mindful of what I eat.  But, I'm not completely innocent.  I haven't drank as much water this week, and I did graze a little during family night last night.  I didn't go crazy, but I probably could have done without the hotdog and graham crackers that I ate.  

Today, I'm going to try and "cleanse" in preparation for tomorrow.  Plenty of water and veggies for me today.  I'm going to avoid carbs and anything heavy for today, and hope that it helps a little bit with the weigh-in tomorrow morning.  And this upcoming week, I'm going to just have to work a lot harder to make sure I have a big loss next week.  I may have to pay a dollar tomorrow, but I hope that by next week I'll be seeing a good loss on the scale.  

Tomorrow evening, it will be another late night as we have to drive to Mt. Vernon, Missouri for another football game.  Once again, Butter will be standing on the sidelines.  It figures that the week that we have to drive over an hour away to watch the game, he can't play.  But, that's the life of a football mom.. you do what ya gotta do. But, it'll be yet another night of not being home until after 11PM.

Friday, I'm not sure what's happening yet.  Peanut may be going to a debate contest.  If that's the case she'll be gone doing that, and I'll be able to come home at a reasonable time and sit on my couch for the first time in a week.  If not, we'll be going to the last high school home game of the season and not getting home until late, once again.

I was supposed to work the Arkansas vs. Alabama football game on Saturday, but because everything has been so crazy busy this past week I dropped out from going.  I have a big project due for school next Wednesday, and I just can't afford to spend the entire Saturday working a football game.  I hate letting people down, but I have to prioritize.  I've worked two games, which is the requirement for parents, so it's not like I haven't pulled my weight.  I'll be working a couple of games in November, too, so I feel like skipping this game isn't going to hurt.  I didn't sign up for the other game that's happening this month, so that now means I have an entire month without having to give up an entire Saturday to work a football game.  I'm kinda excited by that.  

This weekend, I'm sure I'll be so exhausted from this week I'll just enjoy some down time.  In between working on my project and my regular weekend "teacher duties", I plan on going out for a nice walk/jog this weekend, and start the exercise promise.  Something I was supposed to do this week, but well...you know.  

Despite all this crazy, busy stuff, I'm still having a FANTASTIC time in my classroom.  The kids are enjoying themselves, and this week we've started learning a little about vets.  I made the kids name tags that looks like something a vet would actually wear, they have been bringing stuffed animals to school, and we've been discussing some of the stuff vets have to do in order to prepare for working with animals.  

Yesterday, I made up an invoice sheet with some basic supplies that a vet's office may order.  The kids had to multiply how many units of each item was being purchased, how much each item would be, and the total cost of the order.  I threw in adding tax and shipping, and then threw in some subtraction in the form of an account credit.  The kids all found it very challenging, but they were dedicated in getting it completed.  Today, they are going to handle some billing situations.  I'll make up some scenarios where animals receive different services, and they will have to figure out how much the patients have to be charged for the services.  Real world application at it's finest, right there!

Being that October is Disability Awareness Month, we are going to learn about service animals today.  They are going to hear how guide dogs are trained, and the services they provide to blind people.  They will also get to see how certain animals are used as therapy animals for people with other disabilities.  I think it'll be a great connection to what we're learning about.

OK, I guess that's it for me today.  I need to go and get ready for another busy, fun day.

Have a great Wednesday, everyone!

Family Fun, and Fears Overcome

                                    

Yesterday, I decided to take the kids for a much needed day out to Silver Dollar City.  I really wanted a day with my kids where we didn't have to think about anything but spending some quality time together, and enjoying some family fun.  What better place to do it than at a theme park?  Even though we went to Silver Dollar City three times over the summer, they were just as excited to go yesterday as they was the first time we went.  I think a lot of that had to do with the fact that Peanut was taking her boyfriend with us, and the other two were desperate to get out and have some fun.  It's been a while, and they never tire of riding roller coasters.  

We made it to SDC around 10AM, and the first thing I noticed was that the parking lot was already PACKED.  Not exactly a good sign, because I don't do too well with extremely large crowds.  Plus, I'm as bad as the kids with impatience when it comes to waiting forever to get on a ride.  But, thankfully, the crowds seemed to be more interested in the fall festival that's currently going on there, and weren't as interested in riding all the rides.  Which was great for us.  We didn't wait more than 10 minutes to get on a ride all day.

Our first ride of the day was Thunderation.  The smallest and mildest of the extreme roller coasters at SDC.  We walked the winding trail to the ride and was able to get straight on without waiting at all.  The same can be said for the Electro-Spin and the Pirate Ship that we went on right after.  

Then we decided it was time to try our first water ride of the day, and hit the Lost River of the Ozarks.  Now, the weather yesterday was BEAUTIFUL.  The sun was shining, and the temps were in the 70s all morning/early afternoon.  However, the water was FREEZING.  We had a great time, but it's a lot different going on a water ride in the fall than it is during the summer.  It's not as refreshing.  We still enjoyed it, though, and the wetness just made us walk a bit faster and stand in the sun more to dry off.  

Up to this point, I had been stalling on heading over to one area of the park.  That would be where Outlaw Run is located.  It's the biggest, craziest roller coaster at the park.  It's a new wooden roller coaster that climbs to 160 feet before plummeting down at an 81 degree angle.  It then does a variety of corkscrews and crazy dives at 68MPH.  I can't ride Outlaw Run, because I'm too big.  It's the only ride I've ever faced that problem, yet it's one of my motivations for losing weight.  Before this year is over, I WILL get on Outlaw Run.  However, it wasn't me that was so excited to ride it, and causing me to try and stall as long as possible.  No.  It was Jelly wanting to ride it that was causing me so much anxiety.  

Ever since our last visit, Jelly has been bugging me about letting her ride it.  Now, Jelly is a little dare-devil and has ridden on every other ride at SDC.  She loves the Barn Swing, PowderKeg, and Thunderation.  The only reason she hasn't been on WildFire (the other giant roller coaster) is because she's not tall enough to ride it.  But, I promised her last time that I'd let her ride Outlaw Run the next time we went.  So, I had to follow through on my promise, even though I was absolutely TERRIFIED about her getting on such an extreme coaster without me riding with her.  

As Peanut, her boyfriend, Butter, and Jelly waited in line to get on Outlaw Run, my stomach was doing flips.  As I watched them all climb aboard, it took everything I had not to scream for them to pull Jelly off.  Peanut and Butter could both see the worry on my face and kept trying to comfort me with signs and signals from the line.  Easier said than done.  As I watched them pull out of the station, I said a silent prayer and watched them start the climb up to the 160 foot drop.  As the cars dropped on the other side, so did my stomach...and I held my breath for the duration of the ride.  Within a few seconds, I saw the train come back in to the station and managed to capture this picture...

                                          

I know it's hard to see, but Jelly (as do the other kids) all have a GIANT smile on their faces.  Jelly LOVED it!  So much so, that she was straight off and back in line before I even had a chance to question her about the ride.  While the kids waited for another ride, I went and bought the picture from their first ride.  I wanted to document the amazing look on all of their faces, and I was lucky that they had all sat together.  I was able to buy a keychain with the four of them making the most amazing faces of glee, excitement, and terror.  Jelly was the face full of glee.. HA!

Once they'd ridden a second time, we decided to head on over to something else.  We rode Fire in the Hole and then planned on riding PowderKeg.  Unfortunately, PowderKeg had been closed to some form of malfunction, and it stayed that way for the rest of the day.  It always worries me when coasters close due to "malfunctions" so I wasn't too disappointed that it didn't open again for the rest of the day.

We stopped for some lunch at that point, and then headed on to my favorite coaster: WildFire.  I love WildFire because it's the only roller coaster that does full loops.  However, due to my fear of heights, I have never ridden with keeping my eyes open.  I have always closed my eyes as we are climbing the first hill and only ever opened them while I could focus on something other than how high up we were. Yesterday, however, I made the promise to myself that I was going to overcome my fear of heights and keep my eyes open on ALL rides.  And, I did it!! I kept my eyes open, and even enjoyed the amazing view 150 feet up in the air.  Of course, I could only enjoy the view for 3 seconds before we were plummeting down to the ground again at 66MPH... but just the fact that I did it is amazing.  After the ride, I walked out on to the viewing deck and took a second to take in the view I usually rush past because it used to make me dizzy.  I stood there, feeling a little uneasy, but just told myself that I was missing out on too much beauty by being afraid.  Once I took a deep breath, and told myself that I was officially over my fear, the dizziness started to fade and I was OK.  

Fear of heights officially overcome!!

The rest of the day was just as fantastic.  We did A LOT of walking, we rode on more rides, and we just enjoyed each other's company.  It was an amazing day.  Before we called it quits, we decided to take some photos with the beautiful fall arrangements that have been set up at the park's entrance.  It felt good to take some photos with the kids.  And, now I have more photos to store in our photo memory book.  

                                      

                                       

Days like yesterday are so important.  Spending time with my kids is something I love doing, and I'm always looking for new adventures that we can go on.  Buying the season passes to SDC was probably one of the best investments I've ever made.  Next year, I think I'm going to up the ante and buy passes for Worlds of Fun in Kansas City, too.  Sure, it's a much longer drive, but it's another place I know the kids would love and we'd have such an amazing time.  

Today, I have some work that I need to get done.  The deal I have with the kids is that we spend one day together, and the other day I spend working.  I want to really sit down with my lesson plans for the next week and see how I can add some of the fun back that I spoke about yesterday, and really hash out some longer range goals for changing up how things are done in my classroom.  I'm actually excited to get the work done.  I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I'm pumped and recharged after the PD on Friday, and a lot of that also has to do with the fact that I got to spend a great day with my kids and I can now sit back and work knowing we had some quality time together.  

Of course, there's plenty more work I have to fit in between lesson plans.  I have grading, school work, laundry, grocery shopping and such... but I don't feel in the slightest bit overwhelmed or stressed.  Fun is so refreshing for the soul.  I can start this week off full of positivity and motivation.  What a wonderful way to feel!!

Have an amazing day, everyone!!

Learning How to Say No

I have a problem.  An addiction, if you will.  An addiction I've tried to get help for, a problem I've tried to overcome... but no matter how far I get in breaking the hold this addiction has on me, I always seem to relapse.  

I am addicted to volunteering.

I know I've written about this problem before.  I've written about how happy volunteering makes me, and I've written about how stressed volunteering makes me.  And, in all the time I've been dealing with this problem, I've realized that I don't have to be on one side or the other I just have to learn a very important word:  Moderation.

It's a word I'm not very good at using, or practicing.  I mean, hello, I'm an overweight woman who's been trying for years to lose weight.  Apparently, the word moderation is a word I struggle with otherwise I would have kept all the weight off that I've lost so many times.  But, just like I give up on watching how to eat moderately, I also give up on being moderate with saying the word "yes".  As much as I hate to, I MUST start learning how to say the word "NO!"

It's just so hard.  My kids are involved in all kinds of activities.  Activities that require parent participation.  Unfortunately, though, not all parents will or are able to volunteer for the various needs the groups need.  I can be sitting at a meeting, surrounded by other parents, and all I have to do is hear the words "Who's willing to...." and my hand shoots up before I even have a chance to hear what I'm volunteering for.  The same can be said at work.  If there's a committee being formed or volunteers needed for some special project, I find myself volunteering to help before I even think about how much time it will take, if there's any good reason why I need to volunteer, or if I'm even able to do it.  

Some of my willingness comes from a desire to want to help, and the other half comes from being able to stand there when it's all said and done and feel great that I was involved.  But, there's often a huge undertaking attached to my volunteering that I don't consider, and then I end up wondering why on earth I volunteered in the first place and then get all downhearted that I can't spend time with my family or I have so many things going on at once that I'm exhausted and burnt out.

But, I will say that I've come along way.  A few years ago, I was the person that had so many things going on at once, my head was a constant spinning mess.  Each and every evening I had some kind of organization or meeting or activity that I needed to go to because I had so many things going on at once.  I tutored, I was involved with two different sports the kids were participating in, I was involved in school organizations, and it got to the point where I didn't get home a single evening before 7PM, and I was even gone many weekends due to some of the stuff I had committed to.  After that year, I made the vow to take a step back and limit the amount of activities I participated in.  And, for the most part, I've kept that promise to myself.  

This year, I knew I'd be back in the saddle of taking on a lot.  I mean, I made the decision to go back to school to get my Masters, so I knew that would take a big chunk out of my free time.  Then, Butter plays football, Peanut is in debate and show choir, and then there's my normal teacher duties.  Yet, at the beginning of this year, I told myself that saying no would be OK.  I could still be active in my kids' activities without actually having to be active in my kids' activities.  Showing up, supporting them, buying stuff they were selling, and attending meetings when I needed to would be enough.  

What I hadn't expected, nor I've ever encountered before, is being volunteered for something without being consulted first.  That was a new one for me.  And, instead of saying "Wait a minute, I didn't agree to that", I just went along with it.  Because I didn't want to let anyone down.

That would be these U of A concession stand games.  

I did NOT volunteer to attend EVERY. SINGLE. GAME.  I vividly remember sitting at a booster meeting and being asked if I'd be willing to work A COUPLE of the games.  To that, I agreed to.  But, all of them? No.  I did not.  But, Peanut came home from school one day telling me that I'd been appointed as the parent coordinator for that specific fundraiser, and that meant going to every game.  

Now, here's where my problem lies.  

There are over 100 children in the choirs at Peanut's school.  That equates to 100 sets of parents and caregivers, and 100 children that are old enough to help out.  Yet, the choir is lucky to get 3 or 4 parents signed up for each of the games.  There are six games the choir committed to running the concession stand for.  My math tells me that six times four is  24.  Oh wait, I'm one of those parents (who is supposed to go each time).  So, six times three is 18.  That's less than a third of the parents.  

There are other fundraiser opportunities.  The choir runs a concession stand at the high school football games.  Parents can sign up for that, or they can donate baked goods and items to that fundraiser.  And, the requirement to work at one of those games is one quarter.  One quarter of the game the parents can help out in that concession stand.  Now, why couldn't that be one I was volunteered for?  Nope.  Instead, I get to spend 10 hours for six Saturdays working my behind off.  Where is the fairness in that?

Will my child get any more credit towards the items that have to be purchased for her than the kids whose parents worked a quarter of a home football game or the kids whose parents don't participate at all in any fundraiser opportunities?  Nope.  At the end of all the fundraising efforts, that money will be equally divided among all the needs of the choir.  No child will be given any more money than any other kid.  Once again, not really sure I see the fairness in that.  

I arrived at the concession stand at 1PM yesterday afternoon, and didn't leave until after 10:30PM.  The last time we went in at 10AM and didn't leave until 8PM.  So, in two games, I've already put in almost 20 hours, and I still have four more games that I'm supposed to work.  While other parents can work 15-30 minutes at the home football games.  Urm....not seeing the scales balance out at all on that one.  

Had I sat down in that first meeting and been given the option to volunteer to work off Peanut's share of the funds she'll need for show choir or just write a check for her portion... I would have probably said "Here's a check".  I wouldn't have bat an eye or lost any sleep over handing over the money they needed to buy Peanut's costumes or pay for whatever it is that she needs the money for.  And, I know that there are several other parents that would have gladly done the same.  

I know that there are parents that can't afford to do that. But, instead of having the parents who can afford to do that work all the fundraisers to pay for the kids who can't afford it, it should be an option.  Either/ or.  You either pay your portion up front, or you volunteer to work off your portion with all of the fundraisers.  It's just so unfair that the same parents are the ones you see working all the fundraisers, and they are usually the parents who would opt to pay their portion.

It makes me kinda angry, can you tell?

It just upsets me.  I don't mind pulling my weight, I don't mind helping out, I don't mind volunteering my time for a good cause.  But, I also don't want to spend several of my weekends away from my kids, away from my family obligations, and giving up the only slither of free time I get between school, college, and other activities I have going on.  

What it has done is left a bad taste in my mouth for volunteering, and that makes me sad.  I love helping out, I love doing what I can when I can do it, but I don't like being taken advantage of.  And that's how I feel right now.  I feel like I'm totally being taken advantage of, and that's not right.

So, I'm going to try and figure out the best solution to this little problem.  I'm going to discuss this problem at the next booster meeting and voice my opinion on the whole ordeal.  I know one thing, though.  It's time for other people to step up to the plate and take some of the load off of me.  I just can't do it anymore.  I have other things I need to do, and I don't want to spend any more Sundays feeling completely overwhelmed by how much I need to do in such a small amount of time.

I'm going to start using the word NO... loud and clearly.

Have a great Sunday, everyone!