Truthful Tuesday

To be honest... I could so go and get back in to bed for a few more hours this morning.  Blast you cold weather!  I was really looking forward to Spring putting some pep in my step... but instead it's cold and just makes me want to sleep and be lazy.

To be honest... I was terrified about testing my kiddos this week.  I have absolutely no idea why - but yesterday morning I had rumblies in my tumbly because of it.  And then they took the first two sessions of the test and did totally great!  It put me at ease for testing the rest of the week.  Even though I've given a mock benchmark test once already this year, this one is different.  This one should show some pretty good growth. If yesterday is how the rest of the week pans out, I'll be A-OK.

To be honest... I'm pretty sure if the weather is as cold as it has been for the past few days, I should not have to deal with allergy problems.  I know there's a rule about it somewhere.  Allergies are something to deal with when the weather is warm outside and the flowers are starting to bloom.  Not when there's ice on the ground and cars and the flowers are screaming from underground "Are you crazy?  I'm not coming out anytime soon in this junk!".  I just know it's supposed to be cold weather, no allergies and warm weather with allergies.  Once you start mixing cold weather AND allergies, that's just not fair.

To be honest... I think I complain blog too much about weather.

To be honest... I've rekindled my relationship with Pinterest.  I have 17 boards ranging from school stuff to recipes to gardening ideas.  Yes, gardening.  Don't laugh.  One day, I'll have a garden that I can do awesome Pinterest inspired stuff to - just you wait and see.  The board that's getting the most activity since revisiting Pinterest is Ideas for My Future Dream Home.  That's what I love about Pinterest.  It gives me dreams.  It makes me believe that I can turn any house in to a multi-million dollar looking mansion.  Or my classroom in to the most organized, fun, awesomely cool classroom in the world.  Of course, I guess I need to learn how to use some of the ideas I pin all over my boards.  That's a step to learn another day, I suppose.

To be honest... I started decluttering my classroom yesterday afternoon.  I just don't know how I managed to collect so much paper and junk over the course of the past 7 months.  I spent over an hour going through piles of stuff and tossing what I didn't need.  Which, hardly accounted for much.  I'm just sure I'm going to need everything I have at some point or another.  So, then it became more of a filing all the paper away in a file cabinet to be discovered at some point in time all over again situation.  Which is just as good as throwing it all away.  At least now I can rummage around file cabinet drawers looking for that graphic organizer I just know I saved this time next year instead of just printing off another copy.  Which I know will never happen.  Unless of course I need it on a day that the printer isn't working.  Totally can happen.

To be honest... Even though I've only worked about two full weeks since I last had a day off, I'm really excited about the long weekend coming up.  I didn't realize how stressful this time of the school year can be. Not so much stressful, but the days seem really long.  And I, surprise surprise, have so much on my plate that I feel just a little overwhelmed.  I'm tutoring twice a week after school, I'm trying to run a school newspaper three days a week before school, I'm taking a sign language class....one day I'll learn that I don't have to volunteer for everything offered to me.  And, of course, I signed up to teach summer school - so I'll have that to enjoy for the first couple of weeks in summer break.  *sigh*

To be honest... I'm thinking it should only be about two more weeks before I can share my big news.  Or heartbreakingly devastating news if it doesn't pan out.  I'm a firm believer in keeping stuff quiet so not to jinx myself... but that's just dang near impossible.  It's like waiting the first trimester before telling people you're pregnant.  And of course, I've blabbed my mouth off about it to lots of people - so now I'm risking everything because I just couldn't keep it to myself.  And no, I'm not pregnant.  I just can't wait for the day I am told - "Go ahead, shout it from the rooftops".  Because if I wasn't so dang scared of heights, I totally would do that.  But there's a few major hurdles to jump over before it can get to that point, so I just need to calm myself already.

To be honest... I think I've rambled on enough for one day.  Should probably go and dig through my closet for some warm clothes to wear today.  It's going to be another cold one.  You know I couldn't leave out one more grumble about the weather... right?

Truthful Tuesday

To be honest... I really don't have that much to be honest about today.  I'm trying to distract myself from blogging about what I really want to blog about... but I have to make myself wait until the time is right.  I don't want to jinx myself.

To be honest... I'm sad that this season of Biggest Loser is over with.  I watched the finale last night, and I'm happy with the winner.  I won't say more than that - because I know that some of you may have recorded it... and I don't want to be your spoiler.  This season really restored my faith in the show after the disaster that was last season.  I just hope that the Biggest Loser peeps stay on track with the dynamic that was expressed this season and stay away from drama.  Leave that to the trashy reality shows that are on every other 5 minutes.

To be honest... I finally remembered what I'm going to be doing weekend after next.  It's Easter weekend, so we'll be going to my parent's house for Easter dinner and egg hunts.  Duh.  Can't believe I didn't remember that.

To be honest... It's Butter's birthday tomorrow, but the poor dude will have to wait a little while before we can have much of a celebration.  While we will be having a small party for him and my mom on Sunday, we'll be able to do a little more for him in a few weeks for now.  With what's going on, he doesn't seem to mind.

To be honest... I think if we only get two days of nice weather before winter comes blasting back in full force, I should not yet have to deal with spring allergies.  My nose has turned in to a dripping faucet...and the congestion is making me cranky and uncomfortable.  I really don't mind so much when the weather is at least warm.  But, when it's freezing cold outside, my nose is running non-stop, and my head is pounding - all I want to do is curl up in bed and not come out until I feel better.  Like mid-May.

To be honest... I don't get the fascination that some people have with their technical gadgets.  Last night, Hubby helped his brother put together what I can only describe as a 'Super Computer'.  The thing was about the size of my kitchen table, could fit my laptop and Hubby's computer inside of the thing, and had so many parts and fans and places to store memory that I could only imagine my brother-in-law as putting together a network to take over the world.  I mean, seriously, who needs that kind of power in a computer?  Unless you're starting up your own business or more like Fortune 500 company.  My only hope is that the drool that was being drizzled out of Hubby's mouth doesn't give him any crazy ideas.  I can only imagine what that thing cost when my brother-in-law said it cost more than his car.  Don't even think about it, Hubby!  Unless of course you plan on winning the lottery some point soon.  Then, by all means, buy a ginormous computer.

To be honest... Speaking of huge computers, I remember not so long ago when the fascination with technology was to make it smaller.  Huge desktop computers and monitors were replaced with slim-line versions.  Cell phones that started out looking more like a brick (think of Zach from Saved by the Bell), turned in to teeny, tiny contraptions the size of a candy bar that when placed on the ear barely came to your cheek bone.  TVs that weighed a ton and required an entertainment center half the size of a room moved toward TVs that were as thick as a book.  Even monster sized cars and trucks started to move more towards Matchbox toys.  But, it seems as though smaller wasn't better...because now we're switching back to bigger.  Cell phones are getting bigger again, and I'm convinced we'll eventually be placing iPads straight up to our ears.  Apparently, computers the size of kitchen tables are becoming a thing again, and car companies are now figuring out a way to place eco-friendly in to bigger vehicles and SUVs.  And even though TVs aren't getting any thicker, they sure are getting bigger.  If you don't have at least a 42" screen in your living room, you are far behind the times.  Craziness, huh?

To be honest... I apparently had more to say than I thought I did.  But, now I'm done.  For now.  I must think of subjects to occupy myself over the next few weeks until I will hopefully be ready to share my news.  And to be really honest, that will probably be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

Truthful Tuesday...Anyone?

To be honest... I'm really getting tired of Mother Nature not being consistent with her meds.  One minute she's giving us some warmth and sunshine, and minutes later she's blasting us with cold rain and snow.  I'm pretty sure she's going through menopause with all of her hot flashes and then chills.  Or maybe she's got the flu like everyone else had.  Whatever it is, get well soon Mother Nature.  I can't believe I'm the one asking for this - but I'm ready for spring now.  You can stop with the hot/cold mix each day.

To be honest... I got my desk at work cleaned off last night.  Well, that's not exactly true.  I made neat piles of stuff and then transferred the neat piles from one desk to another.  So, the desk I sit at to do my paperwork stuff is cleaner, but the desk I should be using for small groups is piled with junk.  Hopefully after another week or two of Peanut being at track practice, I'll have my room organized.

To be honest...I was exhausted last night.  I went to bed at 8:30 to watch some TV, but don't think I made it through one 30 minute show before passing out.

To be honest... My eating habits have gone to Hell in a handbag.  With Hubby getting over his surgery, there has been little in the way of healthy eating going on in this house.  I'm eating when I think about eating, which is often pretty late at night.  I've also found that I'm mindlessly snacking a little more, again.  I think it's time to get right back in to Atkins mode - because I definitely HAVE NOT been sticking to that.

To be honest...I think the phrase "Hell in a handbag" is stupid.  What does that even mean?

To be honest... I'm stuck on level 135 of Candy Crush, and it's driving me crazy.  I've become really addicted to that game.  Usually, I can be on a level for a couple of days and luck helps me out to pass through it.  But, this level is major annoying.  I get the combination pieces I need, and then screw up by blasting the candy before I can trade it.  Of course, if you don't know what Candy Crush is, this entire paragraph makes absolutely no sense to you whatsoever.

To be honest... People that do nothing but repost sappy pictures on Facebook annoy the bejeezus out of me.  I try to scroll through and see what everyone is up to, and come face to face with post after post after post after post from the same person who appears to have done nothing more than spend 30 minutes hitting "Share".  I understand that some people enjoy looking at all those cute photos and sayings... but let those people find them and look at them.  Do you really have to share EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM?

To be honest... I really feel like I've been babbling away on my blog for a while now with no real purpose or point.  Not just today, but for the past couple of weeks.  I'm not a fan of writing for the sake of writing, but I also feel that if I didn't get on here and just write something... I would hardly ever write anything.  It's times like this where I miss being a weight loss blogger, because at least I always knew what I was going to write about.  I promise to try harder at doing what I can to make my writing somewhat interesting - even if there's no real point to it.

To be honest... I should get ready for work.  Right now.  And I get to wear jeans on a Tuesday!  Oh the little things in life that bring me such joy.  Now, if I could just get "Sweats Day" to take off.

Truthful Tuesday

To be honest... I could sleep for about another 3 hours easily this morning.  But I can't.  I was sleeping so well, this morning, before my alarm went off.  And I'm just not feeling up and awake yet.

To be honest... I am not thrilled to see the snow on the ground this morning.  Which is really weird for me to say.  Yeah, I'm the one that's usually doing crazy snow dances to get the slightest flakes to fall from the sky.  This morning, however, I have to go out regardless of the weather - and that terrifies me.  Thankfully, the temps are above freezing so I'm really hoping that there's no accumulation on the roads.  There's just too many hills between my house and my destination, today, for there to be the slightest amounts of snow on the ground.  Me + Snow Covered Roads = NOT GOOD!

To be honest... I'm a little nervous about Hubby's dental surgery today.  He needs the work done, but I'm not too happy about them doing it while he's awake.  He'll be numbed, but I don't think I could go through something like that while I was awake.  I just hope he's not in too much pain over the next few days.  I hate it when he's hurting.

To be honest... I did not want to receive that call that just came in.  School has been cancelled because of the snow.  There's nothing like trying to figure out what to do with the kids and worry about driving in it and all that wonderful stuff.  I guess Operation: Get Hubby to the Dentist must now commence.

To be honest... I'm just not a happy camper, and I probably just need to stop now while I'm ahead.

Wish me luck!

Truthful Tuesday... I'm Baaaccckk!!

I'm back!! I hope you enjoyed my "filler" blogs while I was away... lots of information about me I have shared before and some new stuff thrown in there.  But, I'm back now, so time to get back to the normal routine...

To be honest... I had a total blast this weekend.  I enjoyed having a family meal out to celebrate my dad's birthday.  I enjoyed an entire day of playing bingo with my mom on Sunday.  And I enjoyed spending the day doing what I did yesterday while I was at my mom's.

To be honest... I found out yesterday that my dream of buying a house is a lot more of a possibility than I thought.  I spent the entire day doing research, talking to lenders, talking to a Realtor  and looking at online listings.  I discovered I'm a lot more financially set for the possibility, as well as discovering that even with student loans and a new car my credit is still set up for me to take out a mortgage if I decided to.

To be honest... After such a long weekend, I'm not sure I'm quite ready for the 14 hour work day ahead of me.  We have a family night after work, and I'm already a little sleep deprived.  I went to bed around 2:30 Sunday morning, got up at 8:30.  Went to bed at 2am yesterday morning and got up at 9.  But, it's a short work week, so I will be able to catch up at some point.

To be honest... I completely forgot that this upcoming Friday is the school dance.  I had made plans for the kids to go to my parents next weekend.  I was supposed to go and buy all of the soda and snacks for the dance this past weekend.  And it all just slipped my mind because I was so caught up in the fun I was having.  So, now I'm going to have to make a run to Wal-Mart tomorrow to get everything I need.  Oops.

To be honest... Because I have so much going on this week, I will probably only get to see Hubby on Thursday night.  He'll be in bed by the time I get home tonight, I have to run to Wal-Mart tomorrow, and Friday I'll be at the dance.  I haven't seen him since Friday.  I hate weeks like this.  However, we're not exactly seeing eye to eye on the whole house buying thing...so maybe it's not such a bad thing.

To be honest... I decided not to weigh in this week.  This weekend, I didn't really spend a lot of time worrying about what I was eating.  I ate out on Saturday, ate out on Sunday, and had a barbecue at my parents' yesterday.  Not exactly the best set-up to weigh.  And while I'm not "officially" weighing in, I did step on the scale this morning and noticed that I haven't gained any since my last weigh in.  No loss, either, but we'll see what happens by next Monday.

To be honest... This is short and sweet, but that's about all I got for today.

Truthful Tuesday

To be honest... I'm a little unsure about this sore throat I woke up with.  Not sure if it's from the heating being on, the constant change in the freakin' temperatures, allergies, or I'm getting sick.  I've got a three out of four chance that it's nothing...so I'm liking those odds.

To be honest... I refuse to get too excited about all the snow talk that's going on right now.  Since last Friday, there's been a whisper that we'll be getting some snow tonight.  Well, the forecast has changed about every hour - so I'm not sure what to think.  One minute we're in for 1-3" of accumulation, the next we're in for less than an inch, the next we're getting 1-2" of slushy, wet, snow.  It just blows my mind that yesterday I was outside in a light sweater, and tomorrow I could be bundling up to go out in freezing temps.  And I wonder why my throat hurts and my nose is running.  Humph!  Of course, knowing my luck, we'll get just enough snow to make the ground too nasty and wet for outside recess... but not near enough to have a snow day.

To be honest... I didn't mean to worry anyone with my pathetic weigh-in post yesterday.  I'm so thankful for the support and encouragement.  I didn't want to put the vibe out there that I was giving up, I just meant that I didn't want to keep making empty promises.  It seems like the more I talk about being successful, the more failure that comes my way.  I figure if I just take one day at a time (my beginning of the year mantra), I might be able to see better results.  But, thanks again for being so kind to me.

To be honest... I'm really nervous about being away from school today.  I have professional development, and I have a sub that I don't know.  To make things worse, I'm getting a new student today...another one.  That's two in a week.  I hate not being there when a new student comes.  Hopefully, he gets settled in OK and makes it through until I get there this afternoon.

To be honest... I did a little happy dance last night when I found out that Peanut's best friend (whom she's goo-goo over) asked her to the formal dance.  He is such a sweet, caring, and smart young man - and I couldn't be happier about it.  He's not allowed to "date" until he's 16... so Peanut is fully OK with them just being best friends.  And so is Momma.  He even stayed with her at the basketball game last night, even though he has absolutely NO interest in 5th and 6th grade basketball.  I'm lucky enough to have his little brother in my class, and I have gotten to know his family pretty well also.  So happy for my baby girl!

To be honest... I'm really hoping that Hubby and I can have a day out on Saturday.  We're both not too keen on trying to get out the weekend after Valentine's Day, but we definitely need some time alone.  He HATES Valentine's day, so we're looking at it as more of a late birthday date night.  My hope is that we can go make a visit to the construction company I want to build us a house and find out where we stand and how much of a possibility it is for us to start building our house pretty soon.  That would be the BEST late birthday present EVA!

To be honest... As much as I can't wait to start the process of getting a house built, I'm very nervous about our current situation with buying the land we're currently living on.  It's complicated because we've been paying for the land for the past seven years, but we've been paying Hubby's dad and he's been paying the land owner.  We have nothing in our name, right now, and I'm worried that it's going to be a lot more difficult than we think to get something in our name.  Fingers crossed things all work out.

To be honest... I should probably think about going to get ready.  I need to get to school early and make sure everything is ready to go for the sub.  I just hope this day flies by.  Not a big fan of being away from my kiddos.

Truthful Tuesday

To be honest.... I am freakin' EX-HAUS-TED!  After a crazy, busy weekend I just wasn't ready for the crazy, busy day yesterday.  After getting to work early to get some work done, to leaving right after work to drive Jelly and Butter home, to then driving back to work to help out on the concession stand for the basketball games.  I didn't get home until around 9:15 last night.  That meant I was basically working for 14 hours.  On my feet for about 12 of those... if not more.

To be honest... I totally forgot how crazy busy this week is going to be.  Today after school, I have a meeting.  Tomorrow after work I have a meeting.  Thursday, I'll have so much work to do because of all the meetings stopping me from working a little after work.  I guarantee my behind will be passed out on the couch, Friday night, before 8pm.

To be honest... I've discovered that I'm not a big fan of teaching division. That's the math topic I'm teaching right now - and it's a tough concept to teach.  I let the kids use small bags of M&Ms, yesterday, thinking it might help them a little.  But, it really didn't.  I'm just going to have to come up with a few tricks from my tool bag to help these kids flip the light bulb on when it comes to using multiplication to divide.  That's how I figured out how to divide when I was a kid...maybe it will work for my kiddos.

To be honest... I've started seeing emails and Facebook posts and the like from people starting their hunt for a teaching job, and it brought back a lot of memories.  I can't believe that it's that time of year, again.  It's so hard to think that this time last year, I started the panic attacks, anxiety, and depression over looking for a teaching job.  I thank all things holy that I don't have to worry about that any more.

To be honest... Last night, while working the concession stand at the 5th and 6th grade basketball games, I realized - once again - how perfect my job placement is for me.  I've always been the girl that volunteered for just about everything... never caring how thin it stretched me or how tired I was because of it.  As I stood there last night with my 4th grade counterparts by my side, I realized that they are just like me.  I can complain and whine about how tired I am from doing all of my extra activities - but it won't ever make me stop doing it.

To be honest... While driving back to the game last night with Peanut, she shared how happy she is being in the school we're in.  How quickly I forget how devastated she was last May when she discovered I'd be taking her away from her new friends and life at her last school and shoving her in to yet another new school.  But she told me that now she is very glad it all happened.  She feels like she's where she belongs, with the kids she wants to be with.  It's small little moments like these that warm my heart.  All I ever wanted was a better life for my kids.  I always thought that was making more money or having more time to spend with them.  I didn't take in to consideration their happiness with their surroundings.  But, it appears that all worked its self out.  Butter is happy just about anywhere he goes - but Peanut?  Well, she's been through a lot.  It's nice to know that she's doing OK.

To be honest... I really don't feel like I have anything more to say.  I should probably go and get ready for work...another long day.  Yes, I'm a poet and didn't know it.  HA!

True Confessions Tuesday

To be honest... I totally jinxed myself yesterday when I bragged about not feeling any withdrawal symptoms. I've been rocking a headache since driving to work yesterday morning.  And I woke up with it again this morning.  I don't think it has anything to do with withdrawals, though.  Just think it's a post TOM headache... just lasting a little longer than I'm used to.  Which is probably expected, being that I used to cure my TOM headaches with chips and chocolate and cookies.  I'll deal with the long headache instead of going back down that path thankyouverymuch!

To be honest... I did the craziest little happy dance in front of my mirror in my bathroom yesterday morning.  It happened right after I put on a pair of my Old Navy pants that I couldn't even button up before Christmas.  Not only did they button.. I had some WIGGLE ROOM.  There is only one way to celebrate wiggle room... by wiggling around in what I call HAPPY DANCE!

To be honest... I'm a little jealous of the school districts around me that are closing because of sickness.  I know that's a horrible thing to say.  I shouldn't be jealous, I should feel totally bad for them.  And I do.  But, any time school districts get a day or two off - whether it be because of snow, the flu, or some other reason - I get the pangs of jealousy.  And only because I'm dealing with this headache, and because it's almost a second full-time job keeping up with making sure all of my sick kiddos get their homework that they've missed.  I would love a day to just lay in bed and sleep away this headache....or just sleep.

To be honest... I'm so looking forward to my annual birthday trip to bingo with my mom this weekend.  It's become a tradition for me to go and play bingo on my birthday...or around my birthday.  Mom and I haven't been for a while, so it will be really nice to spend an evening alone with her.

To be honest... One of my kids at school asked if I was going to bring them cupcakes for my birthday.  I was surprised when I responded "Why would I bring you cupcakes, when I don't eat cupcakes?"  Not that I can't eat them... that I don't!  They all looked at me like I had gone bat crap crazy.  They have seen me eat cupcakes before.  It was even weirder that after I got home, I found a comment from one of my blogging friends (Jenn) who mentioned she used to do the same thing when talking about something she wasn't allowed to eat.  

To be honest... I'm one of those weird people who can't wait to file taxes this year.  Yes, I'm getting some money back - but I'm also going to have to owe the state of Missouri.  Oh, the joys of living in one state and working in another.  I'm excited because I'm pretty sure this is the first year EVER where we can put a large chunk of the money away without it going to paying off bills.  New house saving fund, here we come!  As long as I can keep Hubby out of the "it sure would be nice to have...." mode.  It sure would be nice to have a new house - and I'm pretty sure there isn't anything he can want that would top that!

To be honest...I'm totally loving how upbeat my True Confessions have been this year, so far.  What used to be a day where I could whine and moan and complain has now turned in to a day where I can share, be happy, and celebrate.  Maybe this year really is going to be the best year, yet!

And now it's time for me to go and get ready for work....AND, my headache has eased up!  Looks like all I needed was to remind myself how happy I am right now and BAM, no more headache.

Truthful Tuesday

To be honest... I was so glad, last night, when I found out that I didn't have to work the concession stand at the ball game.  Not because I didn't want to, but because I was exhausted.  Full day of teaching, followed by an hour long in-service, followed by an hour long baby shower.... yeah, I was spent.

To be honest... I caved and ate some carbs at the baby shower.

To be honest... I am so stinkin' proud of how much restraint and control I had while choosing the carbs I ate - and how much I ate.  When the only choices are chips, chips, pita chips, chips, and crackers... I had just a couple of the Wheat Thins and the pita chips.  I had a couple slices of cheese and a small scoop of cheese dip to go with it.  BUT, that was my dinner.  The other option was a chili dog - so putting carbs and calories against each other... I think I did pretty darn well.

To be honest... I also ate a small scoop of fresh fruit, which is another no-no during the first phase of Atkins. I was very surprised at how much I enjoyed the fruit over the chips and crackers.  It's only been a week since I've eaten any fruit.. but to savor some fresh strawberries, grapes, and pineapple was heavenly.  If this is what is meant by "rediscovering my taste buds", then I'm going to be in for such a shock once I go a much longer length of time without eating stuff.

To be honest... Even though I ate a very small serving of carbs, my tummy didn't like it to much.  Not sure if it was, indeed, the crackers and chips - or other body issues I'm dealing with right now - but I felt a little bloated and uncomfortable after eating.  Enough so, that it calmed any desires I may have had for eating once I got home.

To be honest... I'm thinking about doing away with multiple choice questions from all work in my classroom until I can actually get them to do questions correctly. For some strange weird reason, many of my kids translate multiple choice to mean don't actually do any work, just pick the one that looks right.  No matter how much I explain or model or beg them not to do it - I just can't get my kids to actually figure out a problem or find an answer to a multiple choice question.  So.  Frustrating.

To be honest... I saw this video in a professional development training, and it goes right along with the multiple choice thing I was just talking about.  You have to watch it...it's hilarious.

To be honest... To go along with the "Ban Multiple Choice" attitude I've got, I think I'm also going to pass that along to the mounds of paper that collects in my room each week.  I can't stand sitting down at my desk and being surrounded by piles of papers.  It's never ending.  I grade, grade, and grade some more...and there's always a stack waiting for me by the time I'm done.  I am NOT a worksheet teacher - but I can't believe how much paper my kids go through in a day.  I'm going to try and come up with ways where I can eliminate so much paper.  Wishful thinking, I'm sure... but I'm going to at least try.

To be honest... I think that's all I have to share today.  I need to try and read a couple of blogs before it's time to get dressed.  So, enjoy your Tuesday, everyone!

Truthful Tuesday

To be honest... I was able to successfully make it through my first day of Atkins eating everything I'm supposed to and getting in the right number of carbs.

To be honest... When caught in a tough situation - like being served lasagna for lunch during my professional development training yesterday - I didn't falter.  I got a piece of lasagna and took out every layer of pasta - leaving only the meat, cheese, and spinach.  I also avoided the garlic bread and the peach cobbler and went with a salad as my side.

To be honest... It's not going to be an easy process wading through all the foods I can and can't eat, but I really feel up to the challenge.  For the first time in a very long time, I didn't binge eat or feel hungry yesterday.  I even avoided the chocolate chip cookies being served at my PTP meeting after school.  WIN!!

To be honest... I don't like being away from my kiddos for professional development.  Not that I don't love learning new strategies and tools I can use in the classroom, but I just don't like being gone for the first day of the week.  I suppose it will make my week seem shorter, though.

To be honest... I was surprised and appreciative of the messages I got on Twitter yesterday.  I haven't used Twitter in a long time, but after publishing yesterday's post.. I seemed to have sparked something inside some of my Twitter followers.  All were supportive comments, and several were those of sharing their success of being on Atkins.  Made me feel good.

To be honest... I really feel like this is going to be yet another winter where we don't get any real, accumulating snow.  I know that's kinda random - but something I've been thinking about.  Two years ago, we had snow that lasted for two weeks... since then?  Nothing but rain and minor flurries.  It's just not right to have a winter without, at least, a day or two off because of snow.

To be honest... I have a feeling I'm going to be talking about my weight loss efforts a lot more, again.  While sitting here, trying to come up with other stuff to talk about, my mind is just racing about stuff that I want to say about my weight loss plans.  While I know that I'll still be able to share stuff that's going on in my life - outside of trying to lose weight - I have a strong feeling that most days I'll be spending talking about how I'm feeling, my successes, struggles, etc. with trying to lose weight...again.

To be honest... My whole, pure motivation for making the split second call to try something as strict as Atkins is all based on my feelings that stemmed from shopping.  Is it bad that I just want to be able to wear smaller clothes again?  I know that my health and well being should be my top priority for wanting to shed the pounds...they're really not.  It's all about fitting in to the bags of cute clothes I bought for myself two years ago that are nestled away in the bottom of my closet...begging to be set free.

To be honest... I know that I've made all these plans and claims and decisions many, many, MANY times over.  I know that everyone's probably tired of hearing me rinse and repeat... or say something one day and then say something completely different the next.  I'm not going to sit here and declare...once again... that THIS is it.  This is going to be the time that the weight goes and I stick with it forever and that nothing will ever stand in my way again.  I'm not going to say that, because the truth is - I've made those claims one too many times before, and I just can't throw myself out there like that anymore.  What I can say is that I want to try, I'm motivated to at least see how it goes, and just take it from there.

To be honest... I think that's about it.  Except, I really would like to hear what you guys think.  The good and the bad... but please try to refrain from the ugly.  I know that there are many supporters of Atkins out there... just as there are many strong opponents to Atkins.  I'd like to hear both sides.  Except, not just about what you've heard from a friend of a friend of a friend... maybe share some stories about people you know that have tried it, maybe you've tried it... I don't know... just some general feedback.  Thanks!

Truthful Tuesday

Wow, it seems like forever since I've written a Truthful Tuesday post.  Might as well get right to it...

To be honest...it has felt awesome seeing some comments from people I haven't heard from in a very long time.  It makes me feel good to know that I still have support out there - and it means a lot to me. 

To be honest... I ditched the cup of Kool Aid I always get with lunch yesterday and opted for water, instead.  Although, I realized very quickly that I need to take water flavoring to work with me because the water at work doesn't taste great.  I don't want to buy water.  So, I'm going to go with calorie free flavorings instead.

To be honest... I also ate a moderately healthy lunch consisting of a grilled chicken salad, cottage cheese instead of dressing, and pineapple chunks.  I had other, less healthy options available but I went with the salad.  I'll take that as a small step in the right direction.

To be honest... I think I might actually like this season of the Biggest Loser.  I don't think there will be the drama and hate that was spewed out of last season - and that I'm excited about.  And, of course, Jillian is back - which makes it that much better.  I also like the fact that they are discussing the childhood obesity factor in a positive way.  Although I'm very disappointed that somebody already quit - taking a spot of someone that would have given their right arm at the chance.  In my opinion, they should have let her quit and not sent anyone home on the first night.  But, one thing I've learned after 14 seasons is that it doesn't matter what I think...right?

To be honest... I'm happy to see some bloggers that fell of the radar at some point are back in the blogging game.  It's been really nice to reconnect this past week with some old friends. 

To be honest... I've found that I've avoided reading blogs from people that have bashed or made fun of people that have set resolutions or goals for 2013.  If you're one of those people - sorry.  I just don't like it.  Whether it be January 1st, March 10th, or July 30th that someone decides that they want to set some goals for themselves or try and achieve some resolutions - that should never be bashed or made fun of.  Regardless of whether they stick to the goals or not.  I've been down this resolution road many times, and even though I haven't come out where I wanted each year... I keep setting those goals or making resolutions.  It's much better in my mind than just throwing my hands up in the air and never attempting to try something to reach those goals ever again. 

To be honest... I'm so glad that Butter has decided to try out for the basketball team.  Yesterday was his first practice, and even though he said it was very hard - he liked it.  He really needs some kind of physical activity in his life.  I'm just hoping and praying that he doesn't get cut from the team.  While I understand that sporting teams are created to win games - which they should be, and I won't get in to that right now - I just hope that Butter is able to show that he could be pretty good at it and makes it through the cut. 

To be honest... I'm excited about Peanut having her first formal dance in February.  She's been going on about going dress shopping - and that's a pretty big deal for my girl.  While she is at that age where she spends an hour in her room in the morning "beautifying" herself for school - she is NOT a dress wearer.  I just can't believe she's getting so grown up...almost 13 going on 18. Just doesn't seem possible.

To be honest... it feels really good to start out 2013 with a Truthful Tuesday post that doesn't consist of confession after confession of all the mistakes I've made, or all the times I've "cheated".  If I achieve nothing else at all in 2013, I want to achieve at being more positive with myself, focusing on the good and taking those small steps to whatever victory I've set my mind to.

To be honest... I stepped on the scale this morning for the first time since last Monday, and I was shocked to see that I've already lost 2lbs.  And that's by doing nothing but going back to work.  I'm not going to update on weight loss each week - but it nice to at least see some movement in a week and that's something I wanted to share. 

And that just about does it for my first Truthful Tuesday of 2013. 

It's crazy to think that I only have 18 more Truthful Tuesday before school gets out for the year, and only 49 before it's Christmas again (because I probably won't right one on Christmas Eve).  HA!

Truthful Tuesday - With a Christmas Flare

To be honest... I never thought it would be so hard to find a cute picture to use for a Christmas themed Truthful Tuesday.  I thought I'd find some kind of cute saying or something that would have something about being honest and involving Christmas... but apparently, this is the best I could come up with.

To be honest... I'm really OK with the warm weather we've been having lately, but my interest was perked last night when I heard that there is WINTER WEATHER in the forecast for the next ten days.  So interested that I stayed up until 10pm last night just to get the scoop.  As of right now, there's a minor chance for some "winter precipitation" to fall this time next week... and I even heard the word "accumulation".  Of course, because it's so far out, the weatherman was very vague - but it was enough to get my excitement level to rise.

To be honest... As much as I'm looking forward to watching my two oldest darlings perform in a Christmas concert tonight, I'm not looking forward to not getting home until about 9pm.  I have to make a trip to Wal-Mart on the way home to buy Jelly cupcakes for her class tomorrow...so by the time the concert gets over, I drive back from Missouri, and stop at Wal-Mart, it's going to be a late night for me.

To be honest...  I'm so glad to be completely done with the Christmas shopping for the kiddos.  As in done done.  Not a single thing left to get.  All I have left to do now is take the kids shopping for family - and they only have a couple of people to buy for.  I've taken care of getting everything for the kids in the family - not including my own - so the kids just have to buy the gifts for grandparents.

To be honest... I'm a little disappointed that there's so much stuff crammed in to the calendar at school for the last three days.  I was really hoping to do some fun, Christmassy type activities with my class.  Of course, because it will be so busy those last three days, I really don't have to do much in the form of planning for those days - so I guess there's a bonus to that.

To be honest... I was in a really good mood at work yesterday, and it was all because of the kiddos in my classes.  They must have gotten plenty of rest over the weekend because they came back to school ready to go... something that's pretty unheard of this close to Christmas break. 

To be honest... I can't believe the boom in crocheted hats and headbands that I'm seeing this year.  It amazes me that I see the same headbands that I crochet almost daily for sale in stores for $20+, when I can make them for the price of a ball of yarn.  The opportunity for making a few extra bucks has eluded me again, because I'm the person that's telling everyone if they bring me the yarn - I'll make the headbands for free.  I guess it goes to show how good natured I really am.  And, of course, once I do get around to actually selling them - they probably won't be in style anymore. 

To be honest... Speaking of crocheting, I'm not getting very far with the idea of making a ton of hats and headbands with the yarn I have laying around the house for kids that need them.  It's not because I'm too preoccupied with making headbands for other people - it's just because I haven't done near enough crocheting to even make a dent.  I still have twelve days of school left, though, so I think that's plenty of time to really knock out several hats and headbands.

To be honest... This is probably the first Christmas in as long as I can remember where I feel like everything in my life is perfect.  Knock on wood.  The first Christmas as a teacher.  The first Christmas I was able to not worry about how I was going to buy Christmas gifts.  The first Christmas where the amount of presents under the tree don't matter - because I have so much stuff in my life to be thankful for.  I truly feel like I've tried to over compensate in past years for a not so great year by buying a ton of gifts for the kids.  This year, things are so great, I'm not worried in the slightest about how much I did or didn't buy them.  I'm just happy that things have all worked out for the best - and that we can enjoy our time together as a healthy, happy, and financially stable family.

To be honest... I've just decided I'm not going to complain about one more thing between now and Christmas.  Whether it be coming home from work late, unfocused kids at school, my own children arguing and fighting.  Just not going to let it bother me.  I'm going to bask in Christmas spirit for the next  twenty one days, and not let anything bring me down.  This is the time of year for peace, joy, and happiness... and I'm going to be the poster child for all three.

Three Weeks To Christmas!! WOO HOO!!

Truthful Tuesday

To be honest... I'm so happy that Jelly is as excited about Christmas as I am.  That girl has watched Christmas movies with me everyday since Thanksgiving.  She shocked the heck out of me last night, when she stayed up until 10pm watching A Christmas Carol and then Polar Express.  Is she going to be tired and cranky today because of it?  Probably.  But, she can take a nap at school.

To be honest... I much more prefer counting down the days left of school rather than the weeks until Christmas.  There's only 17 school days left - counting today.  That sounds SO much nicer than saying there's four weeks until Christmas.  It almost sounds like half the time!

To be honest... My motivation level is running a little low.  It's so hard to get the kids to focus when I'm just as stir crazy as they are.  Fourth graders are fully aware about how much time there is between now and Christmas - and they know it's not very long.  They are already switched in to that mindset, and don't really care too much about multiplication, main idea, complex sentences, weather, or regions of the United States.  All they are interested in right now is what they are getting for Christmas.  I have to suck it up, though, and be strong.  Lead by example - right?

To be honest... As excited as I am about Christmas, I've already started thinking about the new year.  I've decided that I'm going to try again at losing some weight come January 1st.  I'm not going to get all drastic and change my blog again, but really just start making more conscious efforts to cut back on the eating, find some form of exercise, and see if I can't at least get back to the weight I was the last time I lost a bunch of weight.  At this point, I'd be ecstatic just to get back in to my size 16s.

To be honest... I've decided that I am going to make it a goal to crochet as many hats and head warmers I can between now and Christmas break so that I can donate them to kids.  Especially the kids in my school.  I was so shocked yesterday, when the temperature outside was barely in the 40s, at the amount of kids that were playing without any type of winter wear.  Most of the yarn I own was given to me by my mother-in-law, there's tons of it.  There's no reason I need to think about trying to sell stuff when there are so many kids that could use something as simple as a warm hat or head warmer.  At least.  So, that's my Christmas project.

To be honest... It felt really good yesterday to give a ear warmer to one of the teacher's aides at school.  Every morning she goes out for bus duty.  No matter what the weather.  She's also a wonderful help to me in my classroom, so I thought it would be nice to make her one.  The joy came to see how grateful she was for it.  It really is the little things like seeing the appreciation in a small gesture that melts my heart this time of year... and any time of year for that matter.

To be honest... I was shocked and overwhelmed at the amount of support I received over my blog post about my family the other day.  It was all that support, and a perfect timing phone call from Therapy Dude yesterday that made me realize I just don't need to worry about it.  Seriously, I haven't spoken to Therapy Dude in months, and he chose yesterday to call me.  He was calling to check in on Butter, but after I got to talking... I just couldn't stop.  His advice was very similar to the advice given by all of you:  Stop dwelling on it.  Enjoy what I have.  Realize that I'm not the parent in this situation, and that if my mother doesn't realize how much she hurt me - she probably never will.  He and all of you that sent me emails and messages are right.  It's not worth dwelling over.  I can either accept the relationship we do have and learn to live with it, or cut all ties.  That's never going to happen, so I guess just accepting the relationship I have is what I have to do. 

To be honest... I was really shocked yesterday morning when Peanut and Butter both made some comments about the recent lack of visits with my mom.  Both had seen stuff on Facebook about trips to the zoo and ice-skating from my sister, and thought about the same way I did.  It was really hard to talk to them and try and explain that we can't be involved with everything they do - despite having always been in the past.  It goes to show that my kids aren't as naive to the situation as I thought.  While I won't bash my mother or my other family members to my kids, I also won't make up lies to defend them either.  My kids will make their own decisions on the current events that have taken place.

To be honest... I really need to think about going to get ready for work.  If I focus, stay busy, and do the best job I can possibly do I'm convinced that the time between now and Christmas will fly by.  Just 17 more days of school! 

Truthful Tuesday

To be honest... I'm so flipping excited that today is the last day at school until next Monday.  Five full days off to spend time with the family, eat a wonderful meal, get my Christmas decorations put up, and relax.  I love my job, but I love me some holiday time too!

To be honest...  I'm so flipping excited that I get to wear PJs today - even though I'm not sure I'm supposed to wear PJs.  You see, my kids are having a PJ party as a reward.  They voted on it, I got it approved with my principal.  Except during that approval, I didn't happen to ask if I could be included in the PJ wearing - which means I'm taking a total risk joining in... but what fun would it be if I didn't? 

To be honest... I've sat around way too long talking to Hubby because he came home from work early - and now I have only a few minutes left to write this before I have to go and get ready. 

To be honest... I really can't think of that much more to be honest about today.  Maybe I'm just too excited about today to really think deep... but I gots to go.

Truthful Tuesday

To be honest... I really don't have that much rolling around my head to be honest about today.  The days are going by in such a blur that it feels like I just wrote last week's Truthful Tuesday post and that not much has happened since then.

To be honest... I'm not thrilled about having to miss another day out of the classroom for another training.  While I believe that professional development is very important - I just hate having to miss so many days with my kiddos.  And by so many days, I mean once a month.  And that's too much in my opinion.  While I always get great stuff from my trainings - stuff that will help me in the classroom and better the educational experience for my kids - I can't help but miss them when I'm gone.  That's the part I don't like.

To be honest... I'm really going to have to keep myself from falling in to the Christmas bubble I get in to this time of year - when all I can think about is Christmas and I don't want to do anything but think about Christmas.  I've already started planning the Christmas party for school, and the activities we're going to do.  What I need to be planning is the content I'm going to be teaching for the next few weeks before any of the Christmas activities can take place.

To be honest... I really feel so blessed that I'm allowed to be able to think about Christmas celebrations at school. Then again, I do work in a town called Noel.  I just don't think it would be right to work in a town with that name and not be allowed to celebrate.

To be honest... I find it pretty humorous and mildly disturbing how much media attention is being given to the petitions for state secession.  From what I last read, twenty states have filed petitions for succession from the United States.  I don't know who started these petitions - but I think it's ridiculous.  Do people actually realize what succession would mean?  No more government funding for anything - which includes education and military.  Do all of the 20 states that have requested the petition (my own state and the state I work for is involved with this) believe that they could stand alone as their own nation?  But, at the end of the day, it's really not going to matter much.  Yahoo news says it best when they reported that being granted secession is:  

"Of course, this is mostly a symbolic gesture. The odds of the American government granting any state permission to go its own way are on par with winning the lottery while getting hit by a meteor while seeing Bigfoot while finding gluten-free pizza that tastes like the real thing."

To be honest... I'm now on the verge of going off on a big political rant and just don't have the time or energy.  I think it best that I just quit now and go get ready for work.

A Little Ironic, Don't You Think?

To be honest... I find it a little ironic that I'm doing this type of post when our nation is about to vote on  election campaigns that have been based on several lies...not like this election is any different than any other.  Not going to get all political, but I'll be so glad when it's all over.

To be honest... I really hope that tomorrow morning, people wake up and realize how childish they've looked over the past few months personally attacking people for their values and their beliefs.  I hope there's that awkward moment where someone stands face to face with a person they've bashed and insulted simply because they didn't vote the same way.

To be honest... It wouldn't surprise me one bit if I start seeing hateful Facebook statuses replaced with "Na ne na ne boo boo" statements... because that's exactly how childish some people will be - regardless of the outcome.  And then I'll sit here and roll my eyes at those people.  I'll then make a note of some of those people, and in four years...when this all starts over again... I'm going to be the one with the status that says "Remember how hateful you were last time?  Was it worth it?  How much "change" did you get?"

To be honest... I'm so glad that I was able to explain the presidential election to my kiddos yesterday and was able to demonstrate that electing a president wasn't as easy as picking a name.  I was able to have a meaningful conversation about the benefits and negatives of both sides.  I was able to show them that even though they have several years until it's time for them to actually walk in to a real voting booth, they will have to weigh the pros and cons of each candidate - and pick the side that matters to them the most...and that the choices of today may affect their future.

To be honest... My two youngest cats are driving me nutso since the time change.  They keep trying to wake me up at 4am!  Not just that, but they are moving in to the "toddler" years, apparently, and are in to everything.  I'm so tired of picking up stuff they keep knocking off of shelves and tables.  Not only that, but they keep climbing up on stuff that they shouldn't be climbing on...and my office is starting to feel the side effects.  I've got paper and books everywhere.  And, I guess Prim is able to read... cause she just scratched me after looking at my computer screen.  Nice.

To be honest... I think I'm going to regret downloading SongPop on to my iPhone and iPad.  I played for just a few minutes last night, and it was pretty addicting.  Although, it's been a long time since I've actually used either my iPhone or iPad for playing games.  Might as well make the most of having electronics if I'm going to have them... right?  For some reason, all I ever use them for is researching, browsing Facebook, or searching for crochet patterns.  Oh, and occasionally I'll use my iPhone for actually calling people... but not very often.

To be honest... I can't believe that at this time in exactly seven weeks, I'll be laying in bed, wide awake, waiting for the kids to wake up so we can start our Christmas festivities.  Although, if Jelly doesn't get used to the time change by then - she'll probably be laying there right next to me and asking me if it's time to get up yet.  It always works out that I'm the first one awake in the house.  I usually get more excited than the kids do about Christmas morning.

To be honest... I'm a little worried how I'm going to pull off the whole Christmas situation this year.  The hiding spots that I've previously used have somehow managed to be filled up this year - so I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with all the gifts.  And I don't even want to think about when I'm actually going to get to wrap them.  Maybe I can get my mom to take all the kids for a weekend so that I can get it done.  Or P-Momma.  I'm sure I can find someone to help me out.  *Fingers crossed*

To be honest... It blows my mind that after Christmas break, there will only be 5 months of the school year left.  Five months.  That's nothing.  It will fly by in the blink of an eye.  Not only will it be the end of my first year of teaching, but it will be the end of paying for preschool for Jelly.  It will mean getting Jelly enrolled in to kindergarten.  Oh my goodness... what am I thinking already talking about May?  Let's get through the next few months, first.

To be honest... My mind has starting doing that thing again where it starts wandering off into about eight different directions.. which means it's a good time for me to call it quits for the day. 

The One Where I Tell You My Random, Triuthful Thoughts

To be honest... I feel like I totally wasted 3 hours of my life last night sitting through a new teacher professional development class.  It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't at night, and I didn't have to drive an hour and a half home after it was all said and done.  Why do all new teacher classes focus on telling you what you should do to be a good teacher rather than provide answers to questions new teachers have?  I've been told a thousand times how important it is to stay organized, act professional, and stay on top of my expectations.  What I need to know is how I do all of that and still stay sane in the process.

To be honest... The headband I crocheted for myself on Sunday and wore to work yesterday was one of the most comfortable headbands I've ever worn in my life.  It didn't slip backwards, it kept my head warm, and it didn't cause me to sweat.  The only problem I had was that I felt a little childish wearing such a big flower on my head - especially when I wore it to the professional development class last night.  I think it looked cute, but what do I know about stuff like that?  Is it weird for 30 year old women to look cute?

To be honest... I want to scream from the top of the world that I aced both of my evaluations that I've had the past week.  I had one last week from my principal, and one yesterday from my assistant principal.  Both had such nice things to say about my teaching style and the lessons I've created for my kiddos.  I'm not one to have a big head about stuff like this, but it sure is nice to get some positive feedback that I'm doing my job correctly.  Not just correctly but above and beyond.  It rests my stress and gives me that extra jolt of excitement and determination about what I do.

To be honest... Who am I kidding?  I totally LOVE having a big head about being complemented.  Especially about my job performance.  HA!

To be honest... I can't believe there's only 3 weeks until Thanksgiving.  Unfortunately for me, I don't get paid for three weeks so it will be a mad dash to the grocery store the day before Thanksgiving hoping that I can get everything I need to make a killer Thanksgiving dinner.  I may have to think about charging Thanksgiving dinner a week early, and then just paying it off as soon as I get paid.  Charging Thanksgiving dinner on a credit card is perfectly normal, right?

To be honest... I'm kinda looking forward to getting to wear sweats to work tomorrow.  And that's because I came up with a Halloween costume that allows for me and my two cohorts to wear sweats and t-shirts to work.  We're going as the Three Blind Mice.  Brown sweats, brown t-shirt, brown shoes, brown pantyhose tail... that's Halloween creativity at it's finest.  Oh, let's not forget the brown sunglasses and brown construction paper ears.  Total cost for said Halloween costume?  $2.00.  Total time to get ready?  5 minutes.  Ability to be comfortable on Halloween?  Priceless.

To be honest... I don't get why people feel the urge to post fake pictures about natural disasters on social media sites.  Last night, while totally paying attention to my class (not), I was thumbing through my Facebook page.  I counted about 5 pictures that were supposedly showing the devastation of Hurricane Sandy.  When I got home, I saw an article outing those pictures as totally fake - and even showing where the original photos came from.  Don't people get that there are people that live thousands of miles away from the Hurricane but still have family or friends there?  Is it some kind of sick joke to get people all worried and scared?  I just don't get it.   I have to hand it to our local radio station, though, for outing some of those idiots.  I saw this picture posted with the caption that said:  It has been confirmed that this picture of Hurricane Sandy is a FAKE!  It's not funny to joke about natural disasters, but I don't see a problem with poking some fun at stupid people that feel the need to post fake pictures.

To be honest... I really feel like this next weekend would be a great time to bring out the ol' "Santa won't bring you new toys if you have so many old toys" routine in order to get Jelly to get rid of some of her junk.  I even set the tone this past weekend, when I let Jelly email Santa to tell him what she wanted - and he emailed her back.  That means it's fresh on her mind that Santa is watching and deciding what she should get.  To anyone that thinks telling kids about Santa is lying to them, I say BLAH!  It's bad enough that the Jolly Old Guy gets all the credit for my hard work on Christmas morning, it's only right that I make him out to be the reason my child declutters.  Just telling her that it's time she got rid of some of her toys because she's outgrown them just doesn't cut it like an old fashioned "Santa won't bring you anything" story.

To be honest... I should really go get myself in to the shower.  Who wants to bet that my kiddos are a little on the crazy side today?  Yeah, I don't blame ya... that's just a losing bet if I ever saw one.  I watched that full moon while I drove home last night... I know what's coming my way.  A good soak in a hot shower is such a great way to prepare for that.

Laters!

Just Another Truthful Tuesday

To be honest... I'm equally split between being excited and nervous for parent/teacher conferences tonight.  And I think that's weird.  The feeling excited part.  I'm pretty sure any teachers that have had to work from 7:30am until 8pm at night would probably want to stab me in the eye with a blunt pencil after reading that statement.  But, I really am looking forward to meeting the parents of the kids in my class.  I just really hope they show up, because sitting around for 4 hours won't be fun at all.

To be honest... I am completely puzzled by a phone call I received from my mom on Sunday.  For the past several weeks we haven't spoken because of the whole mess over a kiddie fishing pole.  Call me stubborn, but I have been waiting for an apology - or something.  At the very least a "hey, this whole mess is stupid, let's just forget it shall we?"  I don't think my mom knows my true feelings behind why I was so upset - and probably still doesn't - but that's neither here nor there.  She actually called me on Sunday.  I was shocked when I saw that it was her calling.  My first instinct was that something terrible had happened.  I answered the phone and she asked me a question about her air conditioner.  What the what?  She spoke to me like nothing had ever happened.  Just a quick, friendly call to ask a simple question.  She asked her question, I answered her - in the same way she was speaking to me (friendly and polite) - and that was it.  Phone call over.  I was left wondering what the heck had just happened, was our fight over?  I'm still not sure and have no idea how to move forward with this.

To be honest... I have missed talking to my mom.  I don't like fighting with her - or anyone.  The situation was stupid and no reason to fight, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm hurt and very upset over what happened.  I now feel like nothing will ever come of it and it will just be swept under the rug never to be spoken of again.

To be honest... I can't believe I waited so long to hook up a big monitor to my laptop. Yeah, I'm completely switching gears and changing subjects.  That's how I roll, people!  Anywho, for well over a year, the screen on my laptop has been going out.  The picture shakes up and down and gets staticy.  It was literally a pain in the head to work for very long on the thing - which I had to suck up because I've been spending hours and hours working on my laptop on the weekend.  Hubby finally convinced me to hook up a monitor to my laptop in order to protect my eyes.  It's not like I use my laptop as a laptop.  It's sat on my desk for as long as I can remember.  It's no longer mobile because the battery is shot.  And now I can work without getting an eye strain or screaming at my monitor anymore.  Now, if I can just save up enough pennies to buy a new laptop.  Yeah, that won't happen anytime soon.

To be honest... I got around to taking a picture of my new hair cut so that I can share it with you, but I'll warn you ahead of time that it's not the best picture in the world.  The front facing camera on my iPhone stinks in low light.  The picture also makes me look like I have a mustache - which I do NOT.  But, the point of the picture is to show off my haircut - and the picture does do a good job of that.  I didn't really like it at first when it came to trying to fix it, because it was a little too "bob" for my liking - but I have to admit that it's growing on me.  The bangs are definitely something I like.  For the first time in.. well, ever... the stylist was able to give me real bangs.

To be honest... I was a total grouch at work yesterday.  I'm not really sure why.  My patience had a short fuse and it just seemed like one of those days that no matter how I explained the simplest of tasks, the kids didn't get it.  After the wonderful and delightful week I had last week, I expected this week to be even better - especially since it's a short week and we're not doing a whole lot of new stuff.  I had a formal evaluation from my principal, and that went really well.  Thank goodness.  She managed to get in and watch me teach before my fuse got lit.  Today, I'm going to try and be really happy-go-lucky.

To be honest... I should probably get around to digging through my closet to find something professional looking to wear.  It's supposed to be Hawaiian day at school - for Red Ribbon Week.  I don't own any Hawaiian wear, and anything I do own that would work doesn't really fit with the "dress professional for conferences" mentality.  So, time to dig.

Toodles!

The Stone Cold Truth

To be honest... Yesterday was one of my most less stressful days of working since school began.  I'm pretty sure it's because I felt confident, and that's a feeling I haven't really had at all since school started.  Now that I'm building and writing my own reading lessons, I feel a lot more in control. 

To be honest... For the first time in a long time, I felt a real pang of missing my thinner self yesterday.  I was looking at a friend's graduation pic from college and noticed that she'd lost a lot of weight since graduation.  It hit me that my story is the complete opposite.  The day I graduated college, I was at one of my lowest adulthood weights.  I've gained 40lbs since then.  I kinda want that thinner me back.  Again.

To be honest... I weighed myself this morning.  Something I haven't done in months.  I felt very relieved to see that I haven't gained any weight since the last time I weighed.  Even though I haven't lost any weight, I've managed to maintain my weight.  I'll take that, being that I haven't thought about what I'm eating or how much I'm eating since I don't know when.

To be honest... I have no idea why I always decide I want to try and lose some weight at the worst time of year.  We're only two weeks away from Halloween, a month away from Thanksgiving, and two months away from Christmas.  Not the ideal time to be thinking of dropping a few pounds when it's the two months out of the year I don't want to think about not being able to eat.

To be honest... I've decided that I'm not getting up at 4:30am anymore.  I'm going to reset my alarm to 5am.  An hour and a half is more than enough time to drink some coffee, write my blog, and get dressed ready for work.  It's amazing how much better I feel with just an extra 30 minutes of sleep each morning.

To be honest... I'm hoping that now I'm feeling a lot better about my stress situation, I'll be able to find my written sense of humor again.  My writing lately has been so freakin' dry.  I put myself back to sleep reading some of the stuff I've written lately. That has to change.  No wonder nobody ever comments anymore.

To be honest... I'm really nervous about my first parent/teacher conferences next week.  Nervous and a little excited.  Speaking to parents isn't really my strong point, but thankfully I don't have any really negative news I have to deliver either.  That always makes it easier, I guess.  I just hope that the parents show up. 

To be honest... I'm having a hard time coming up with anymore stuff to be honest about.  So, I guess that's it for me today.