Can I Just Go Back To Bed? Can I? Please?

What a crapola night of sleep I got last night.  Or should I say, what a crapola night of just laying in bed with my mind swirling with thoughts.

I loathe nights like last night.

I go to bed at a reasonable hour, because I know I have to get up at the butt crack of dawn the next morning - and I'm a responsible person that knows I need a good night's sleep before having to get up that early, spend a day teaching, and performing all of my teacher and mom duties.

But noooooo.  My stupid mind has other plans.

Instead, I go to bed at a reasonable hour, lay there, and lay there, and lay there some more.  I think about the plans that I have written, but not too sure about.  I think about having to be gone on Thursday from school for a training and the sub plans that I need to make.  I think about how in only 5 short weeks I'll be giving the real MAP test and laying there wondering how on earth I'm going to fit everything in that I need to teach these kiddos before then.  That makes me think about how in 7 weeks I'll be finishing up my first school year...and then I start thinking about some of the stuff I'd like to do once school is out.  Maybe start jogging again.  Maybe take up yoga again.  Definitely try and focus more on trying to lose weight over the summer.  Which leads me think about our house hunting, and how awesome it'll be to start buying new furniture and what the house will look like and what type of design style I'll want.  That takes me back to thinking about how I'll need a place I can go out jogging or a nice yard where I can do some morning yoga or go out and play with the kids.

And the next thing I know it's 2am...and I'm still wide awake knowing that my alarm will be going off in two and a half hours.

I try to tell myself that I have to stop thinking about stuff....I must at least try and get a couple hours of sleep. I start to doze off...and then...oh, I remember that I have tutoring after school today because it's going to be Tuesday - not my usual Monday.  What am I going to cover?  When am I going to have a chance to finish up my plans and my sub plans?  I have a meeting after school on Wednesday...that's going to take up even more time.  Dang it, I totally forgot that Peanut has a track meet tonight.  What time will she be back at the school to be picked up?  It's going to be late, I just know it... probably between 10 and 11pm when I'll need to drive back to the school and get her.

Another 30 minutes have gone by.

And then, I finally hear my alarm clock.  The minute I shut my eyes.  OK, maybe two hours after I shut my eyes...but it sure felt like my eyes had just closed.

So now I get to go back to work after a four day weekend, exhausted, sleep deprived...with so much on my mind.  Perfect.  Just perfect.

It's my own fault, I suppose.  I have four days off work, and I don't spend any of it working... like I should have been.  Besides the hour I spent yesterday afternoon.  But, I know by now that an hour to write plans isn't near enough time.  I haven't studied my test data enough to be sure of the content I need to teach.  I know that I have to make the next four weeks worth of plans to really get a better idea of how I'm going to fit everything in.  And usually it wouldn't be a big deal, because I can stay after school and work on stuff.  But, not this week.  Tuesday I have tutoring.  Wednesday a meeting.  Thursday I have and all day training to go to followed by Peanut's other track meet of the week.  Just so much to do in such a short week.

Well, sitting here and whining about it isn't going to fix how tired and unprepared I am for this upcoming week.  I suppose I should get off here and start getting ready to tackle it all.  I'm going to need a caffeine IV drip today... just to keep me going.

But, I've done it before.  I'll do it again.  I'll keep breathing and trudging along.  I'll catch up on my sleep next weekend.