But, I look back through my blog posts and I see that my Mom has had a couple of birthday blogs AND a couple of Mother's Day blogs. My dad, on the other hand? Yeah...not so much. Hubby? Yeah...not so much.
It gets so hard to stay on top of holidays like Mother's and Father's Day. Mostly because I don't even remember they're happening until I see a gazillion posts on Facebook about it. It's important for me to express how I feel about the ones I love... but sometimes I just forget the "special day" that I'm supposed to express those feelings. Don't hate. For Mother's Day, I got nothing. Nada. Wait, that's not true. Butter and Jelly brought me home cards and gifts from church...but before they went, they had no idea that it was even Mother's Day.
But, that's not because Hubby doesn't care...it's because we have this agreement that birthdays and Christmas are a big deal... but Mother's and Father's Day really aren't. Not in the way of getting gifts and cards and doing all that special stuff, anyway.
So, the only way I can make a big deal is right here on my blog.
Thankfully, I was blessed with an amazing father. Caring, loving, supportive, stern when he needed to be, and a big push over the rest of the time.
Yep. That's my dad. All 6'4" of him.
When I was young, and in school, I felt like the coolest kid around having this man as my father. He's a giant of a man, covered in tattoos from his head to his toes, and has a "funny accent". No other kid had a dad like me.
He's still that man...but now he's the coolest grandfather around. No other kid has a grandfather this "cool" and my kids think it's awesome.
My dad and I have had our ups and downs. I've made stupid mistakes in my life that have disappointed him, let him down, angered him... but he's never turned his back on me. We've always come out the other side with me accepting my mistakes, and him accepting my apologies. I've never felt like he wasn't there for me anytime I needed him.
I've also never felt like I had anything to prove to my dad. He was always one of those guys that wanted his kids to grow up being responsible, doing well in school, but also enjoying childhood. Once the "age of accountability" rolled around, it was time to get a job, learn what it meant to be an adult, and to stand on our own two feet.
Want a car at 16? OK, but get a job and pay for it. Get pregnant and have a kid at 18? OK, but have a plan to support and provide for her. Feel a little overwhelmed and need some help? No worries...as long as I was doing my part to show I was at least trying, I could always count on my dad to stand by me and support me.
My dad never went to college, but it was always important to him that his kids did well in academics. That they had a good foundation for a good adult life. I know it must have hurt him immensely when I got pregnant at 17...thinking that my career dreams would be gone forever. Not that he ever told me that. I guess, in his mind, if raising a family was my destiny...then I just had to do the best I could. I had to raise my children with the same mindset that he'd raised me.
But, knowing how important it was to my dad for his kids to do better with their lives is one of the factors that pushed me to never give up on my dreams. I had obstacles and hurdles, sure... but I was also taught the important lesson of hard work and sacrifice. I had a good teacher. And that's why I made darn sure to go to college, get my degree, and become the teacher I'd wanted to be since being a little girl. I owed it to my father... both of my parents...for the support and drive they instilled in to me growing up.
Now, since buying our new house, I've seen a new pride resonate in my father's eyes. I see that he feels I've finally accomplished all of my dreams. A beautiful family, a supportive Hubby, a college degree, a great job, and a wonderful home. Each time he walks away, I know that he's secretly patting himself on his back and thinking "She did it!" And I did...thanks to the love, guidance, and support that man gave me.
So, today, I say Thanks, Dad! I love you. You are an amazing father and grandfather. I couldn't have asked for a better dad in my life.
Happy Father's Day!
BUT I'M NOT DONE....
Oh, no...there's another father that needs a little kudos right now....
And that would be Hubby.
This man. The other man in my life that is as important a father as my own...the father of my children.
Eight years ago, this awkward, quiet, not really sociable guy walked in to my life. The life of a woman that had two small children, a heap of responsibilities on her shoulders, and a woman that only really trusted one man...her own father.
Most men would have probably ran for the hills and never looked back after seeing the mess I was drawing them in to.
But, not this man.
You got two small kids that are only 11 months apart? OK. You have a full time job that doesn't leave you much time for a social life, after being a mother? OK. You don't really trust men, yet, and you have your doubts that I'll even stick around? OK.
None of it bothered him.
In fact, it didn't take long at all before I started noticing something about this man that I really liked...loved in fact. And it didn't take long before I realized what it was. He reminded me of my own father. He was quiet. He was hardworking. He was supportive. And, he never made me feel like I was a failure or I wasn't good enough or that I didn't deserve to be happy.
It was no surprise that within a few months of us getting together, my two small children were calling him "Daddy". He was everything and more of what I'd been looking for in a good father figure for my children.
After being together for a few years, his ready made family was perfectly fine for him. He had no real desires for more children... but when the news came that, too bad, so sad, he was getting another child...he didn't even flinch.
After nine months of worrying about whether he was going to be OK with having his own child, worrying if he was going to treat his biological child different from his non-biological children, and worrying if I was heading for another repeat of having a child and being on my own....he quickly smashed away all my fears the day of delivery.
He stood by and cared for our other two children, he encouraged Peanut to be in the delivery room with us and be apart of the birth, he watched over Butter holding his new baby sister, and he welcomed our new daughter in to our home as another one of his children...not his first child.
Life hasn't been perfect for Hubby...no doubt about that. There have been struggles and fights and drama and worries, but he's stood firm. He's never, ever, given me the feeling that he's had enough and can't take anymore. He's stood by me and supported me as a partner with our children. We parent together...there has never been a feeling of my children vs. our children. They are all OUR children.
I truly couldn't have found a better father for our children. I know that our lives are as good as they are thanks to him. Without him, we wouldn't be where we are now. I doubt I would have had the ability to finish school. I doubt I'd have been able to pursue my dreams. I doubt my kids would have all of the latest and greatest stuff. I doubt my kids would be as stable and loving and caring and compassionate as they are. We needed to do it together...as a team...for the victory to come out.
Life is good. I have two amazing men in my life that have gotten me through the good times and the bad. They have helped mold me and build me up to the strong, independent, wonderful mother and teacher that I am.
I don't know what I'd do without either of them.
I love you, Honey! You are an amazing father, and I'm so thankful to have you in my life. Life just wouldn't be the same, or as wonderful without you.
Happy Father's Day!!
And Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful father's out there.
Toodles,
Jo
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