Shrinkvivor - Week Two Check-In

I will admit right now, I have NOT been looking forward to this day.  I know with everything in my heart that in less than 24 hours, I will receive the news that I'm off to Exile Island.  I can almost hear that woman from the game show Weakest Link "You are the weakest link, goodbye!"

It's not a surprise I have had a terrible week.  I shared it all with you yesterday.  There has been mindless eating and zero exercise.  I did manage to stay up with the 7 hours of sleep a night...for the most part.  The playing cards until 3am Saturday night messed with that a little...but every other night I got in what I needed.

Yesterday, I told you that when I stood on the scale Monday morning I almost cried.  I had gained back all of the weight I'd lost the previous week and then some.  The scale said 234.5lbs.  I was mortified.  Did I go out that day and run like crazy to burn off some calories?  Nope.  I did drink plenty of water and eat better, though.

So, this morning when I stepped on the scale - I knew there was going to be a gain.  I expected it.  I knew it was going to be there.  I was ready for it.  When the numbers appeared - I almost cried, again.  Although this time, for a different reason.

Last week, I weighed in at 231lbs.  That was a 2.4lb lost since the week before.  This morning, this is what I saw...

Yep, it's a gain...but I knew that was going to happen.  It's a gain of 1.6lbs.  Even though I'm never happy about a gain - I'm thrilled that it's not the 234.5 I saw just two mornings ago. 

I have zero fitness minutes for this week - that's bad.  Despite that I feel like I've been running my butt off, I haven't actually devoted myself to "exercising" and that's all I can count towards the fitness minutes challenge.  I know, though, that the amount of walking I do every day has some effect on that number I saw this morning.  If I hadn't been so busy the past two days and walking up and down hallways at school - I know that I would be reporting a 3.5lb gain today.

So, like I said, I'm pretty sure I'm off to Exile Island this week.  Only the 2nd week in - but I'm not terribly disappointed about it.  At the end of the day, it's just a game, and the fact that I'm still allowed to play - even though I had a terrible week - is a plus.  No, I can't win the grand prize or be declared the Ultimate Shrinkvivor... but in all honesty, I never really saw me having a chance at that anyway. 

This week has been bad.  I've got some stressful stuff going on - that I will share with you tomorrow.  I did what I've been trying not to do for years...emotionally eat.  I've also felt something this week that I haven't really worried about too much in a while.  Seeing that gain Monday morning was awful.  I felt awful. 

For the past several months, I've been watching the scale slowly moving up.  It's bothered me a little - but I continued doing what I was doing.  I complained, I whined - but the truth of the matter was, it wasn't effecting me enough to really do much about it.  Monday morning I felt panic, I felt distress...I felt failure.  Even though these aren't good feelings, in a way - they are.  Knowing that I have the fire to still care that much is a slight win in the midst of a bad situation.

When I saw the 232.6 this morning - I was happy and sad all at once.  I had gained weight - but not as much as I had expected.  I swore to myself when I started this challenge that I never wanted to see 233lbs again...well, I can still hang on to that hope for another week.

This next week, the fitness challenge is changing a little.  Instead of logging exercise minutes, we're logging exercise miles.  This makes me nervous, because I'm not one to get in high mileage with my work-outs (when I work-out).  Maybe if I can focus on getting a mile in a couple of times this week - and maybe a 3 miler this weekend... I could pull a some-what decent number.  I don't feel as much pressure being that I'm going to be headed to Exile Island - but I still want to do what I can.

On top of the fitness challenge, the mini-challenge for the week is to Go Green.  Not recycling - eating.  I have to try and eat something green with at least one meal.  This makes me a little nervous - because not many of the veggies I eat are green.  I eat a lot of cauliflower.  Maybe it's going to mean replacing the cauliflower with broccoli or steaming some green beans with each meal...that's pretty easy, right?

Alright, I'm off to check in.  Everyone have a great Wednesday!!


Till next time. ;)

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