Good Bye Weigh In Wednesday!!

Dear Diary...

That's it.  I've made the decision.  I'm saying goodbye to the scale - for a month!  For the next four weeks, I'm ditching the weekly weigh-ins and letting my body have more time to adjust and lose some weight.  I won't weigh again until April 4th - which is 4 weeks from today.

So, what caused this sudden decision to be made?  The fact that I'm sick and tired of standing on the scale each week and seeing such a drastic gain...when I know it's inaccurate.  Last week, I weighed in at 241.6lbs.  That was after a loss of 2.8lbs from the week before.  This week?  I stand on the scale and see 244.6lbs.  A gain of 3lbs that is so absurd I can't even think straight.

Yes, I've made some poor food choices this week.  But I've also been logging everything I've eaten - and I know that I haven't eaten 10,500 calories OVER what my body is naturally burning and what I'm burning during my work-outs.  In fact, the past week, I've eaten a total of 13,569 calories - which averages around 1900 calories a day.  And that's not even considering any working out I did - like the almost 600 calories I burned on Sunday with my walk.  Yes, it's over my recommended intake - but not 3lbs worth. It's ridiculous.  But, of course, when I see that gain I immediately start freaking out and getting all upset.  You know what that leads to, right?  Ah ha.  More freakin' eating!

Not today, my friends!!  Yeah, I was pissed when I saw the number on the scale this morning - but I wasn't pissed at the number.  I was pissed at how inaccurate it was and how I was forcing stress upon myself by doing something like that.  I momentarily thought about replacing the scale with measurements.  I know that going by measurements is more accurate than using the scale.  But then I thought, well, what if I don't see a change in the measurements each week?  Won't that make me flip out just as much as I do when I see that stinkin' number on the scale each week?  Probably.  So, I'm not doing that either.

For the next four weeks, I'm going to be using nothing but counting calories, working out, and devoting myself to recognizing triggers and stress factors that cause me to eat - mindlessly.  That's the name of the game right now - mindless eating.  It's what my book is all about.  And until I can start controlling my urges, finding healthier ways to cope with stress, and identifying my triggers - I can't rely on the scale to provide the support I need to get me through.

I told you that this book is going to be mentioned - a lot - while I'm reading it.  I just love the fact of how it poses weight loss as a practice... like yoga, for example.  It's a guide to making my weight loss efforts a way of life.  Cleansing my body not only of the harmful toxins I pump in from junk food, but also the toxins I pump in to it with stress, anxiety, fear, and frustration.  It combines spiritual energy with physical energy.  And while I don't mean to come off sounding all Zen like - that's really how I have to look at it.  I have to be at peace with myself before I can ever get to the point where I'm at peace with losing weight - and doing the work to get there.

There's no doubt in my mind that the next four weeks will be tough.  I'm addicted to that damn scale just as much as I am the junk food.  It's become a nasty habit that will take some time for me to get over.  The scale just can't sit without being touched - it has to be put away...somewhere where I won't be constantly reminded or urged to stand on it.  But each time I get the urge, I just have to remind myself that I want to be surprised at the end of the four weeks.  I want to see more accurate results. I need to give my body more time to adjust.  I just have to remind myself that the waiting is worth it - and good things come to those that wait, right?

I will be continuing to put money in my Reward Jar each week that I work out at least 3 times and log my food each day. I earned another $5 this week for logging every single day.  On Wednesdays, I'll update how I did with my working out and logging - and then reward myself based on that.  It will be a very nice change to see some money going in to the jar and staying in the jar - without having to worry if I'm going to lose it based on my weight.

I'm going back to the gym today.  The first time in almost a week.  I want to do my circuit training.  I've had a lot of on my plate (no pun intended) the past couple of days that have prevented me from working out - but today I can make up for a little of that by really pushing myself this afternoon.  I have to remember that if I can't work out every single day - I better damn well make the most of it when I can.

Tomorrow, I'll be doing my Biggest Loser recap - and it will be full of some surprising information.  Some stuff happened last night that has made me reconsider some of my opinions.  Do I still think this season is terrible?  Yes.  But some things are starting to change.

Till next time. ;)