Dear Ms. Anonymous....

The past couple of blog posts I've written, I've received a comment by an anonymous sender who apparently knows the guy I've been talking about in my blogs.  The only way to reply to an anonymous comment is by posting the comment and then responding on my blog.  I'm not going to do that.  I'm not going to post what she has to say on my blog, but I will take a few minutes to write a public response.  I don't need to hide by anonymity.  And, I might as well make it public for any other women who decide to say anything to me on the same subject.

Dear Ms. Anonymous...

First and foremost, thanks for the comments.  I always appreciate feedback.  It means you've taken the time to read what I have to say, and apparently you didn't like what I have to say.  Sorry to upset you, darlin', but you're not the first person to say hateful things to me, won't be the last.  But, you did bring up a few points that I feel the need to address here.  If you don't like what I have to say, then please, by all means, come out from behind your anonymous cover and tell me who you are.  Until then, I have no choice but to write this for the whole world to see.

Let me tell you right now, I am not in a competition with you.  And sorry to burst your bubble if that's what you think.  I don't have time for petty cat fights over who he's talking to.  You are not the first jealous girl I've had to deal with since knowing him.  I'm sure you won't be the last.  And that's OK with me... cause like I said, it's not a competition.  He has flat out told me that I better get used to dealing with the likes of you for the rest of my life, and that is one aspect I'm perfectly content with.  

If the time should ever come where I am in a situation where I'm fighting for him, then you'll know.  But right now, we are friends.  Which means he can talk to whoever the heck he wants to talk to.  He can talk about whatever he wants to.  So, he's sending you text messages when he and I are together?  Big whoop.  I'd much rather have the time we spend together than text messages any day.  

You say he tells you I guilt him in to spending time with him.  You say he tells you I'm pathetic.  You say he tells you about me being close with his family, and using that as a way to get closer to him.  You say he can't really stand me, and only does spend time with me because he feels sorry for me.

You say a lot of things.  You apparently know quite a bit about me.  Which is funny, because I know nothing of you.  How many times does my name come up in the conversations that you have with him?  I have my suspicions on who you are, but because you insist on hiding I can't speak to you directly.  But know this, sweetheart, if what you say is true, he sure does spend a lot of time talking to you about me, apparently.  And, I'll take that.  I'm OK with it.  

I do have something to say about the comment you made about him using me.  You say he's only using me to get what he wants, that you guys laugh at how pathetic I am for trying to buy his love, and how when he's gotten everything he needs from me, he'll be gone.

Well, let me tell YOU something...

I can not and will not believe for one second that what you say about him is true.  I agree that his feelings for me may not be the same as the feelings I have for him, but I know that he would NEVER do me that way.  I know with all my heart that he appreciates what I've done, and knows that I will continue to do what I need to do.  He knows that no matter what, my first and foremost intention is to make him happy.  It's the promise I made, and one that I will keep.  

He knows that I will always be there for him.  If that means just being friends, then we'll just be friends. If it means more, then it'll be more.  It's called loyalty.  I am loyal to him, and he knows it.  He can trust me.  He knows that no matter what happens, I will always be there whenever he needs me.  

Do I spoil him?  You bet your ass I do.  Not because I am trying to buy his love, but because of the look in his eyes when I do it.  To capture the moment of happiness and excitement in his eyes when I've done whatever it is I've done for him makes it all worth it.  To know that I was able to bring a little happiness to him in some form or another, makes it all worth it.  You can call it whatever you want, but he hopefully knows that what I do for him, I do out of love.  It has nothing to do with being sweet, kind generous, or even pathetic.  I do NOT play that way.  I do things for the people I love, the people I care for.  My intentions are not for my gain, but for theirs.  And it actually angers me that you would say he said those things about me.  

You know why it makes me angry?  Because if he did indeed say those things to you, he probably did so trusting you'd keep those comments to yourself.  If you're going to tell me everything he says about me through an anonymous comment, you're showing how much trust he can have in you.  I don't believe he said the nasty things you said, but maybe whatever he does say about me you should keep to yourself.  You're not going to stop me from doing what I do.  

What I do know is that I was told fifteen years ago to get over him, that I'd never see him again, that he was gone for my life forever and I had to face it.  But, I never stopped believing then that he'd come back to in to my life, and I'm not going to stop believing now that there's a reason he was brought back in to my life.  

If that reason is to help him out, then that's what I'll do.  If the reason was to just be friends, then so be it.  If it was for something more, then time will tell.  What you have to say on the matter means nothing to me.  

Do I get jealous that he's talking to someone else?  Sure.  But, I'm not going to stoop so low as to send messages and anonymous comments.  Like I said before, if the time ever comes where I feel the need to fight for him, I will... but right now, I will bide my time and take what I can get.  You may call that pathetic, and maybe it is.  But, his happiness is my happiness.  When he's happy, I'm happy.  And that's all that matters.

At the end of the day, he knows I'll go to Hell and back if I have to for him.  You are nothing more to me than a beep on his phone.  I've dealt with the likes of you before, and probably will for many years to come.  You don't intimidate me or scare me.  If anything, you make me feel better.  Knowing he's talking to you about me makes me smile.  You can twist the words any way you like, but if he's spent half the time talking about me like you said he has, then it's double the time he's spent talking to me about you.

You can continue to say whatever you want about me and about him, but just know that it means nothing.  You will not break me.  You will not tear me down.  You will not make me believe the things you say.  If the time comes where I'm proven wrong, then I'll admit it... but now is not that time.  This will be the last time I have anything to say on the matter.  

Have a great day!