Along with the stress I've felt anger, frustration, guilt, and hopelessness.
I'm angry because I'm letting the stress take over my body and mind and reverse months and months of hard work of losing weight.
I'm frustrated because just when I think things are starting to look up on the job front - I get another disappointing letter saying "thanks, but no thanks".
I feel guilt when I express my emotions - because there are people that aren't even getting interviews, and I am told that I shouldn't be complaining about not finding a job...at least people are giving me an interview.
The hopelessness comes from just feeling defeated...so many jobs have passed me by, and I wonder what's wrong with me? Who don't principals want to hire me?
It's hard. Yes. I can boo-hoo my way through this post... but that's not what today is about.
Last night, for the first time in way too long, I got to let out the anger, frustration, guilt and hopelessness. Not by yelling or screaming or crying. Nope... by laughing about the whole mess.
Yep. You heard me. I laughed and laughed and laughed.
It was girls' night out last night. For the first time in six weeks, I got to spend the evening with my two best friends in the whole world. The sad truth? My only true friends. The kind of friends that you can say anything to, tell anything to, and know that there will be no judgement or shame or embarrassment.
These two girls have the power of turning the worst of situations into something positive. We do it by spilling our guts - and then laughing at it all. It's very therapeutic. I really wouldn't have gotten through the past four years...and especially these last few months without them.
After spending a few hours with them, I know that everything is going to be OK. Even though one has found a job - we're so happy for her. She is so supportive of Sanity and I...and keeps us filled with hope. From this point on, she is given the rightful pseudonym of Hope.
This morning I feel totally different. I'm happy. I feel refreshed. I'm ready to start over...with the job hunting...and other stuff. My sanity and hope have been recharged. Those girls are my Duracell batteries to my Energizer Bunny....they fill me up with energy.
True friendship is very hard to come by. In my life, I've had very few people that I give this definition to. There is so much power in true friendship...and I often forget this. I feel so blessed to have these two girls in my life.
I know that when Sanity gets married, Hope and I will be standing right next to her on the big day. When Hope has her first baby, Sanity and I will be sitting in the waiting room. When I finally get married, I know that both girls will be proudly standing next to me. We will be at each other's kids' graduations and weddings. We will comfort each other in times of grief. We will share in each other's victories. We will always be there for each other.
Till next time. ;)
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Awww - I'm so glad you have them and you feel better!
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