When I Thought About Wiring My Mouth Shut... This Isn't What I Had In Mind

Not having a good day, and it's barely after 6am.  Not a good sign.

It's my own fault - I jinxed myself.

A few days ago, I was stupid enough to make the comment "I need my mouth wired shut, then maybe I could stop eating junk food and lose the weight".

Little did I know that Karma was listening.  Ever heard the saying "Be careful what you wish for?"

Yesterday, I had a toothache.  Ache is an appropriate word.  It wasn't blinding pain - just a dull aching on the right side of my face.  It was across the top jaw line into my cheek.  It was uncomfortable - but tolerable.

I had a pretty good day at work, then spent the evening volunteering at Parent Night watching about 200 kids.  We were outside, and the pain in my face pretty much disappeared.  Until I got home.

When I got home, the pain was back - but still not anything major.  I finally broke down and took an Advil.  I didn't want to - I hate taking pain medicine.  But, I was worried I wouldn't be able to get much sleep, so I took the pill.  When I take pain medicine, it knocks me out.  Yep - any kind.  Tylenol, Advil, Aleve, Ibuprofen - doesn't matter...my body's just not used to it.  So, I knew that I'd at least be able to get a couple of hours sleep. 

I went to bed around 9:30.  No big deal.  Fell asleep pretty fast. 

Woke up at midnight, and my face was throbbing.  I put it down to the fact that I'd been laying on my cheek - so I got up, swished some hot salt water (totally disgusting), and went back to bed to try and sleep.

Fell back to sleep, woke up at 1:30am.  This time, I knew something wasn't right.  I could see my cheek protruding from my face.  I ran to the bathroom to discover that my cheek was swollen.  It was pretty painful.  I spent the next hour swishing mouthwash, took another Advil, and holding a hot compress against my cheek.  At 2:30, I decided to lay back down again.

I dozed off, and woke up at 4:30 to blinding pain.  Pain from the top of my forehead to the bottom of my jaw.  My eye hurt.  My nose hurt.  My cheek bone felt like it had been broken.  My jaw felt like it had been smashed by a sledgehammer.  The skin all down the right side of my face felt so tight, I thought it might rip if I touched it.

I once again took the run to the bathroom to find my face looked like this....

It's kind of hard to see how bad it is in the picture - but just compare the left side to the right side.  Oh, and I'm not moving my nose - the swelling is so bad, it's caused my nostril to be raised on that side.  As much as I'd like to have full, pouty lips - those monsters are also a part of the swelling.

Nice, right? 

Needless to say, I'm not going to work today.  The last thing I need is all of my kiddos running in terror thinking that the Elephant Woman has escaped in their school.

I'm confused as to what it is... because I don't really have any pain in my mouth.  It's all in my face.  It could be a tooth, it could be sinuses.  Whatever it is - I don't have my insurance yet, and so a visit to the dentist is out of the question. 

Being that I can barely open my mouth wide enough to drink a cup of coffee - eating is pretty much out of the question until the swelling goes down.  If the pain doesn't subside with the swelling, it will be no hard food for a while.

The downside?  I'm in terrible pain, haven't had much sleep and I look like something out of a zombie movie.

The upside?  I can't eat. It's a liquid diet for me until I can get my behind to the walk-in clinic and get some idea what it is - and maybe some antibiotics.

Really, Karma?  This is your idea of giving me a head start at losing some weight?  I was only joking about my mouth being wired shut, you know.

Why is it Karma is only around listening to comments like that.  Apparently, Karma has better things to do when I'm declaring how I'd love to win the lottery.  

So I will be spending the day resting - hoping that the pain goes away and the swelling goes down. 

I'm hoping that today is the worst of it - because Butter is coming home tomorrow for a visit! 

He's getting a 1 day pass, and so he gets to come home and spend the day with us.  I don't want to look or feel like this while he's here.  This couldn't have come at a worse time.

Oh well, it's off to bed for me for a while.  Everyone keep your fingers crossed that this passes quickly, k?

Till next time. ;)

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