One Small Step for This Fat Woman, One Giant Leap For My Motivation

So, I've got good news and some bad news.

The bad news is, I didn't run yesterday.

The good news is, I walked instead.

It didn't take me more than 3 seconds to realize that this Fat Woman has completely lost the ability to run more than 5 seconds. Especially on a driveway that is uneven, full of large rocks, and a major tripping/injury hazard.

I could have just given up the minute I realized that I wasn't able to run anymore... but you have to walk before you can run, right? I figured I might not be fit enough to run, anymore, but I started running by walking first...so that's exactly what I did.

Up and down the driveway I went. Music in my ears, little kids walking with me - and then deciding to just stand at one end and cheer me on. OK, they weren't cheering me on, but with the music playing in my ears - that's what I imagined they were doing.

I ended up doing 9 laps up and back down the driveway - for a total of 1.8 miles. That took me 30 minutes. I would have kept going, but I had to stop to deal with a 3 year old whom I'm trying to potty train that decided to do her business in her underwear while we were outside. But, being able to go 30 minutes without being interrupted is a good start...and much better than nothing.

Today, I'm going swimming at a friend's house. Not sure I can get much exercise done in the pool with a bunch of kids in there... but if I get home early enough, I'll go for a walk after dinner again.

Going for the walk helped clear my head and was very relaxing. While I'm doing it for my physical wellbeing, it will also be a huge help to my emotional wellbeing. Of course, now I'm beating myself up that I've spent 3 weeks here - and I'm just now starting this...but can't dwell on the past. I can only keep putting one foot in front of the other and pushing myself forward now.

I'm going out today to pick up the few things I need in the kitchen to help me with my clean eating. My parents, luckily, only eat Whole Grain bread...and the sugar free kind. So the bread works perfectly for eating clean. There are lots of veggies in the freezer. Although, my parents prefer white rice - so I'm gonna have to pick up some brown rice. Maybe some couscous, too.

My head feels like it's back in the game...and yes, it really did happen overnight. Just simply looking over some old pictures gave me a jolt of how much I needed to get back to doing what I did. I've avoided looking at my pictures because I thought it would depress me...had I known what it would have done, I'd be looking at them every single day.

One thing I just have to keep reminding myself is that I have to stay strong. If I want to start the new school year off as a new woman, I have to get rid of my old habits. I want to stand in front of my new class full of energy, full of life, and demonstrating what it's like to be full of confidence.

I'm going to reset my weight loss counter today. My starting weight is 246lbs (insert major eye roll). My goal is to lose 20lbs by August 1st. I will weigh in each Wednesday - like I used to. I will log my walks on the counter on the side of my blog. I will, I will, I will!!

I have no time for anymore setbacks, for being lazy, or not giving it my all. I begged and pleaded with the universe to give me a teaching job - and I got one. I also made a deal with myself that if I found that job, I'd buckle down and lose the weight... finally. Well, if I can't keep a deal with myself - how can I expect a classroom of 25 kids to trust me? I can't...so I have to lead by example.

It's just one small step for me that will lead to one giant leap into a new life.

Till next time. ;)