Truthful Tuesday

Truthful Tuesday is something I started last week, in lieu of the previous True Confessions Tuesday posts I used to do.  To go with the new concept of being positive - I decided to ditch confessing all of my sins each week, and focus on the honesty of how I'm feeling with my progress and challenges.  

Although, I have to admit, I liked the clean cut version that went with TCT.  Starting each confession with "I confess" helped point me in the right direction... but the focus was all wrong.  It can't be all about the bad - it has to be about the good.  How I truly feel...what's honestly going on in my head with each struggle I overcome.  

My Peanut does this thing on Facebook called TBH (To be honest).  When friends "Like" her post, she gives them a TBH about that person.  I think it's kind of juvenile - but it can serve me a purpose here.  Instead of starting each statement with "I confess", I can start each statement with "To be honest..."  And, no, it's not the same thing.  You'll figure that out as you read what I have to say - I hope.

To be honest... I am feeling GREAT this week.  It truly is amazing how much change can happen to a person in a matter of a week.  I went from having knee and back pain, feeling lazy pretty much all of the time, and wanting to do nothing more than lay on the couch to a person who is already free of the aches and pains, someone who wants to be more active, and lazing on the couch is only reserved for late evenings - when it truly is time to let my body rest. 

To be honest... I can't believe the change that the scale has made since Sunday.  I had a little looksy this morning, just to get an idea of what's gone on since I last stood on the thing two days ago - and I'm shocked.  Good shocked, not bad shocked.  If this trend continues for the rest of the week - I'm going to be one ecstatic person when it's time to do my weekly weigh-in on Sunday.

To be honest... I sat down yesterday and had a long, hard think about what life is going to be like once I go back to work - which is as soon as next week.  I thought about how difficult it will be to get to the gym during the week, because I'll be working an hour away from the gym.  I thought about how I won't be able to rush out of the door at 3pm and simply rush down the street.  The gym will be too far away for that.  So, I figured that this week - I'd give myself a test run of not going to the gym all week.  And NO, this is not a cop out of not going to the gym while the kids aren't here.

To be honest... already this morning, I rearranged Jelly's play room.  She's going to be sharing it with me now.  I moved my home gym equipment out so that it's usable.  I have a full home gym, hand weights, a stability ball, and tons of DVDs.  I've decided to use them this week - along with getting out for a walk some evenings. I want to see what kind of progress I have using my own equipment with the work-outs that my PT made up for me.  I realized that I have all the weight equipment right here in the house to do my upper and lower body strength training.  I figure if I can do some walking during the week, get my strength training in at home, and then on the weekends head to the gym for some elliptical work - I'll be A-OK.

To be honest... I had my first internal struggle standing in front of a doughnut display case yesterday afternoon.  Hubby hadn't eaten all day - and started feeling a little funny.  He decided he needed to eat a doughnut to help him out a little.  As I stood there in front of the case, while Hubby made his selection, I started hearing that voice I haven't missed one bit this past week.  "You know you want one, one doughnut won't matter, you've been so good - why not treat yourself?"  I just stood there staring at those doughnuts.  And, then I literally said out loud "I don't want one!"  Hubby gave me a weird look - but I think he understood what was going on.  I walked away, with no doughnut, feeling pangs of desire - but sparks of pride as I overcome such an obstacle.

To be honest... I'm still very scared and nervous that my sudden boom in motivation and willpower will start to fizzle out and leave me hanging.  Even though I feel completely different, I still worry that I won't be able to keep my momentum.  It's little successes like the doughnut counter that gives me hope.  Taking one day at a time, is also really helping me keep focus.  I wake up each morning thinking about what I'm going to do that day to keep me going.  Standing on the scale is actually helping, too, and I never thought I'd admit to that.  But, now that I'm actually seeing my hard work start to pay off, it gives me a new burst of motivation each time I see a new number.  A lower number.  And even though my PT said he'll punch me in the face if I obsess over the scale - I've realized I have to obsess over it.  It's really helping - for a change.

To be honest... I'd love to stay and chat more, but I really need and want to go dust off my weights and get my work-out in.  Amazing, isn't it?


Till next time. ;)

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