Back in Time Tuesday - In To 2001

I left off last week with Fabio being ejected from the house by Lone Ranger.  Fabio had gone psycho on me after I refused to give him the keys to my car.  Now, the story continues...

After the "incident" with Fabio, I was done with him.  He was told by Saving Grace not to show his face around the house any more.  I tried my best to go on with life.  I kept on working at the nursing home.  MIL helped with watching the kids while I worked, and Saving Grace helped keep me sane.

After a month or two, I met a guy at work.  He was a very sweet guy.  He loved spending time with me, loved the kids, and was smoking hot to boot.  We dated for a month or two, and I had finally got to the position to be able to get my own place.  New Guy told me that if I got my own apartment, that he wanted to move in with me.  He wanted to be with me, treated me like a queen - finally life was looking up.  We moved in to a place together.

At first, things were great.  My life was better than it had been in a very long time.  I finally had a man that loved me, and wanted to be a father to the kids.  Things started to move a little down hill when we were put on different schedules.  Being that we lived together, our supervisor didn't think it was "appropriate" for us to work on the same shift.  So, she put me on first - him on second.  He would get home close to midnight each night, and I had to be at work by 7 the next morning.  Being that we didn't get to see each other very often, he wanted to spend time with me when he got home from work.  After a few weeks of very little sleep on my part, I started getting a little cranky.  I told him that I didn't want to be woken up at midnight to talk.  I didn't want to snuggle for a couple of hours before having to go to work.  I still had a baby that liked to wake up in the middle of the night to be fed - and him waking me up every night didn't help matters.  We slowly started drifting a part - and I ended up pushing him away for good. 

As I think back now, I could really kick myself in the a**.  I had such a great guy - his only fault being that he wanted to spend time with me.  *Rolls eyes*.  I guess I was so used to being treated like total crap, I couldn't appreciate a good thing...and it ended up pushing away a great guy.  Oh well, back to the story.

Shortly after New Guy was out of my life, I received a visit from Fabio.  He told me that he wanted to try to start over.  He spilled his guts about how the drugs caused him to do what he did, how he wanted to change, how he wanted to be a father.  He told me that he didn't just want us to get back together - he wanted us to completely change our lives.  He had spoken to his father, that lived in Texas.  They had discussed him moving down there to get away from the drugs, and to start his life over.  Fabio was all for it, on one condition - that I went with him.  I really thought that completely uprooting my whole life might work - so I did it.

Fabio went to Texas first.  He wanted to get down there, get a job, and get some kind of establishment for me and the kids to follow.  When he left, half of me was thinking that I would never see him again.  The other half kept the faith that we would move and life would be wonderful.  Well, unfortunately for me - half of the second part was true.  After a few weeks, Fabio called and told me he was ready for the kids and me to head to Texas.  I packed up the car with as much as it would hold, kissed my life goodbye, and drove 12 hours to start a new life with Fabio in Texas.

When I arrived, I found out that we were going to be living with his dad and step-mom.  Fabio had a great job, and he didn't think it would take very long to find our own house - but he wanted us there with him.  His dad was OK with it, so I was too.  Things started out great.  Fabio actually went to work every day.  I kept myself busy with the kids at home, and enjoying the company of his dad and his step-mom.  Things were good.  Then on September 10th, 2001, Fabio got hurt at work.  He hurt his knee and needed to go into the city to get an MRI done.  We scheduled the MRI for the next day.  The next morning, we took the 1 1/2 hour drive into the city.  We arrived at the hospital a little after 10am.  Things were weird.  It was hard to find anyone to help us, because everyone was huddled around TVs in the waiting rooms - doctors, nurses, patients, families waiting.  It wasn't until Fabio got checked in that we found out what was going on.  Two planes had just hit into the Twin Towers.  After Fabio got his MRI, it was straight back home to spend the next three days glued to the TV.  I will always and forever remember what I was doing on September 11th, 2001.

The days that followed were pretty much consumed with the events that had taken place.  Fabio had to take time off of work, but his worker's comp check kept him satisfied.  Things remained good until Christmas.  Tune in next week to find out what happens next.

PNOTD:

"Reflecting on the past makes you stronger in the future."

Till next time.  ;)



Motivational Monday - Bring on Some Self Esteem!

Happy Monday, everyone.  Another week is here - can you believe that October is already half over?  If you read yesterday's post, you know that this is going to be a tough week for me so I definitely need to kick it off with some motivation.  Thank goodness today is Motivational Monday.

Today I'm going to discuss something that hasn't really been a topic I think about much.  Being in a slump for the past couple of months has really brought about a lot of bad feelings, and not seeing much progress in the scale department really put the pressure on.  Today, I'm washing the physical aspect of my progress away and focusing on the "me" within - self esteem.

Now, if you were to talk to a person that knows me pretty well and asked that person to describe me - I guarantee that the words "self confident" would come out.  Depending on the person you ask, the words could be negative or positive.  I think of myself, and others agree, that I'm very self confident.  I have learned, though, that there is a huge difference between self confidence and self esteem.

My self confidence can sometimes be a fault.  I often describe myself as a little too confident in the way I carry myself.  I'm honest, tell you what's on my mind, and don't hold back.  I don't get stressed out over big assignments, situations, or other things that cause people to doubt themselves.  No matter how people think of me because of it, it's who I am - and I'm proud of it.  The difference comes though, when I describe myself.  I will tell you that "I'm good at what I do" but hearing words that describe me such as "pretty" or "beautiful" cause me to cringe.

It's so funny how I can look at myself through two different eyes.  I've always been confident, but always lacked self esteem.  I'm not about to declare that I've had a major break though and all of a sudden I think I'm smoking hot - but after a conversation I had with Sanity and another close friend the other day I did realize that I'm slowly but surely building my self esteem, feeling better about the way I look, and liking what's looking back at me in the mirror. 

We were discussing going out.  It has become quite common in the past few months for me to get dressed up and hit the town with Sanity.  I always thought it was because I really didn't have anyone to go out with - and once Sanity came in to my life, I had someone that would hang out with me.  Then I realized that having a close friend had nothing to do with it.  To be totally honest, a year ago I HATED going out.  The thought of having to dress up, put make-up on and go out in public was like ripping my finger nails off with tweezers.  The rare occasions that Hubby and I decided to go out for the evening was torture.  I would spend hours in my closet, emotionally ripping through clothes trying to find something - anything - that would magically turn my fat into fab.  Of course, that never happened.  I would end up getting dressed and feeling miserable about the way I looked.  I would feel frumpy, fat, unattractive... and it bothered me.

Now, things are different.  I LOVE going out, and maybe too much.  I go out at least once a month - if not more - and when I do, I have such an amazing time.  I don't spend hours in my closet.  I can grab a pair of jeans, a cute shirt, and BAM I'm ready to go.  While I'm out, I don't obsess over who's looking at me and thinking "DAMN that girl should not be wearing that" or "wow, that is one big girl".  I can relax, have a good time - and I've gone from being the elephant in the room to the life of the party. 

Something else that has really fueled my fire in the "self esteem" department is the new attention I get from guys while I'm out.  It's mind boggling to some people, but I actually enjoy getting a little attention from guys.  Hubby doesn't go out very much, he'd much rather stay at home.  He's fine with me going - and wants me to have a good time.  He knows that I would never, EVER cheat on him.  In fact, I come home after each night out and share every detail with him.  A few weeks ago, I received my first number from a random guy in a bar.  That has NEVER happened to me before - and you'd think I'd won the lottery.  I was so happy that I had received the attention.  I shared it with Hubby, and he was happy for me.  I know you're thinking "is he crazy?"  No.  He's not.  He's supportive.  He knows that losing 60lbs is a really big deal.  He knows that I'm starting to feel better in regards to the way I look.  He's happy that I no longer live in baggy sweats and t-shirts.  He knows that he can say the word "lingerie" around me - and won't end up with a black eye because of it.  I am changing - and he's liking the changes.

The conversation with Sanity really opened my eyes - like always.  I still have a long way to go before I hit my target weight - but the changes that have already happened are huge.  With every pound that I lose, I gain in self esteem.  With every dress size that I go down, I get more excited about how I look - and love what I'm seeing.  The old me is disappearing before my eyes - literally - and the new me is ripping through.  A me that is self confident AND has self esteem.  A me that nowlikes to go shopping, likes to hang out with my friends, a me that likes to get a little dressed up and wear feminine clothes...I like her, she must stay around.

Thus, brings me to my long winded point.  I like the person I'm becoming.  I know that I have to work hard to keep her - at any moment she can start to fade away.  If I let myself slip, if I falter...she will be gone.  There's the motivation. 

PNOTD:

"Hearing others tell you that you're beautiful is nice - but worth nothing if you don't believe it.  Being able to tell yourself you're beautiful, now that's priceless."

Till next time.  ;)

Summarize it Sunday - Bittersweet End

Wow, what a week it has been.  I just can't wrap my head around the fact that I've been a student teacher for nine weeks already...where did the time go?  My first placement is coming to an end, and next week I begin my new placement. 

I'm full of mixed emotions right now.  For nine weeks, I've been an intern in first grade.  I never in a million years thought that in just nine short weeks, I would fall so head over heels in love with a group of kids.  For three years, I've had a "preference" in the grades that I wanted to work in - third or fourth grade.  It's so amazing that after such a short time, I could do a complete 180 and be so gung-ho about another grade...especially at the other end of the spectrum.

When I received news of what my first placement was three months ago, I was happy.  I wouldn't say I was over the moon excited, but I figured I would do what I had to do, learn what I had to learn, and move on.  I've just never really had a connection working in the lower grades - the kids are cute in first grade, but I don't do "cute" very well.  First graders don't really have any boundries in regards to personal space - they have no concept of the invasion of it.  I was the kind of person that had boundry issues.  Not a real "touchy-feely" person.  I never really cared for anyone, even kids (except my own), to invade my personal space.  That's what I thought, anyway.  I'm now a changed person, a convert of sorts...things are happening to me that I never thought would happen.

The big change - I'm so emotional!  Yes, me, emotional.  It's crazy!  All week, I've had to suck up the tears over the silliest of things.  I kept thinking "this is the last time that I'll ______ with these kids" and then my eyes start to fill up.  Listening to a student read that wouldn't even say two words to me nine weeks ago, and I'm grabbing for the Kleenex.  A boy that never really shows any emotion drew me a picture and wrote me a note with the words "I love you Ms. Hill" and that was it - I totally lost it.  They have changed me far more than I have changed them.  I see their improvements, seen how much they've grown, but the effects that each of those kiddos have had on me is like a Hollywood make-over.  I'm hugging them, saying cutesy little things...it's so weird.  No more am I the stern, one eyebrow raised, "don't get too close" person I was nine weeks ago...I'm now...urm, well....nice.  They love me, and I love them even more.

Tomorrow is a professional development day, so I won't get to see the kids.  My last day in the classroom is Tuesday.  I know right now that Tuesday is going to be one of the most emotional days I've had in my life.  I am writing each one of the kiddos personal letters.  My mentor teacher is putting a hold on the regular schedule for Tuesday afternoon, so that the kids and I can have plenty of time to say our goodbyes.  I will read the kids their letters, through wet eyes and sniffles, we will share some good times, and then that will be it....placement over, time to move on.

All of this emotion, and I haven't even mentioned my mentor teacher.  I don't know where I can even begin.  She's amazing.  I believe I owe her just as much recognition for me becoming this emotional wreck as I do the kids.  The way she teaches, the way she interacts with the kids...it's definitely something I will always strive to mimic, although I never think I'll even come close.  On the first day of school I really thought to myself "wow, that's just too much cutesy for one person to handle" because of the way she treats the kids.  Using the word "nice" to describe her is the biggest understatement ever.  The kids absolutely adore her, and I now know why.  I told myself on day one, that I would never be like that...well, eating my words as I type.  Her kindness and sweetness is contagious, and you just can't help yourself when you're around her.  I will miss her very much.  I could talk to her about everything - and did.  She is so helpful, honest, positive - and I was truly blessed to be given the opportunity to be in her classroom. 

My next placement is second grade.  I've had some time to observe my new classroom, I've already learned my new kids' names, and I get along really well with my new mentor.  I'm looking forward to the new opportunity, the new environment, and the new learning that I will get from this group of kids.  I'm sure in 18 weeks, when the second placement comes to an end, I will be saying the same things about this new group of kids - but for right now, I love my first graders.  I don't want to leave them.  They were the first group of kids I got to teach on a regular basis - and they will always have a special place in my heart because of it.

I can only hope now that at the end of this year, I will get a job in a Bentonville school.  I think it would be absolutely amazing to keep in touch with these kids, watch them grow, and 11 years from now, be able to attend their graduation ceremony.    

PNOTD:

"Never underestimate the power of children.  If I'm feeling down, I know that I can surround myself with the joy that children bring - and life is good.  I was born to be a teacher - the kids reinforce this in me every day."

Till next time.  ;)

Share it Saturday - Starting Out Simple

OK, so in all honesty, I bought a product last week to try out for this post...but it's still in the box, unopened.  Can't really review a product that I haven't used - so I guess I'm just going to have to hold off and review it next week.

So, today, I'm going to talk about a product that has become a staple in my home - don't know what we'd do without it.  The best part is, you don't need a specific brand - they're available at Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target...any department store, probably.  This product makes cooking delicious, healthy meals a snap when living with a crazy, busy schedule.  What is it?  It's my slow-cooker/ crock-pot.

I call it a slow-cooker, others call it a crock-pot - whatever you call it...it's AMAZING!!  There's nothing like being able to throw all of your ingredients into one place, leave it cooking all day, and have a great meal waiting for you when you get home. 

When I started teaching, the job of "dinner" was assigned to Hubby.  There were nights that I wouldn't get home until after 5 - and that's no time to start cooking a meal...I wanted to eat when I got home.  Well, he didn't feel like running around and cooking dinner, either, so he decided that it was time to break out the slow-cooker and see what he could come up with.

We've had our slow-cooker for a few years, but we only ever used it for things like stew, pot-roast, soups...stuff like that.  Then, we realized that you can cook just about everything in that thing.  The food cooks without having to add any fat or oil, the flavors are all kept in the pot - and the end result is delicious!!  During the warm months, there's no added heat given off a slow-cooker, so the house doesn't get too hot.  Now that the cooler weather is coming - the soups, stews, and pot-roast are all coming into the dinner line-up and making cool nights into warm, relaxing nights.

So, if you're struggling for a way to cook healthy meals, but have no time to do it - break out the slow-cooker.  Get creative.  Add some meat, some veggies, and experiment with spices and flavorings....you might be really amazed at what you can come up with.  If you're not really the "experimenting" type - there are tons of slow-cooker cook books available at pretty much any bookstore - and if you shop at Borders or Barnes & Noble, they always have the cook books on sale.  If you have a great slow-cooker recipe you'd like to share - please do, by posting a comment. 

That's it for today in regards to my first "product review".  Not what I had planned, but just means it's time to break out my product for next week - and actually start using it!!

PNOTD:

"There's nothing wrong with finding things that make life easier.  An easier life is a less stressful life."

Till next time.  ;)

Fuel It Up Friday - Tweaking for a Busy Schedule

Back a few months ago, before my blog steered off course, I did a post about the importance of eating 6 times a day.  I called that post Eat to Live, Don't Live to Eat.  It is a very extensive post, listing out the hows, whys, and whats of eating 6 meals a day.

This morning, I'm going to revamp that post.  Everything I said in the original post is 100% true - if you can do what I said, there, you should.  The only real discussion I'm going to have today is for the people that work in a situation where it's impossible to eat 3 or 4 meals during the day.

Up until August, I'd always been pretty lucky in regards to my jobs.  I worked in office type environments, where it was just fine for me to eat at my desk.  I ate breakfast before I left, ate a mid morning snack, ate lunch, afternoon snack, and then home for dinner.  Being a teacher, I no longer have that privilege.  I can't just eat whenever I feel like it - it's not possible - so I had to figure out a way to make it work.

I will start with breakfast.  I get up at 4am, I leave my house at 6am.  That's really plenty of time to eat a good breakfast.  Unfortunately, I just can't bring myself to eat that early.  I don't know why - I'm just not hungry.  I'm the kind of person that's not going to eat if I'm not hungry.  A benefit I have is that there's a school cafeteria ready and waiting to serve me breakfast once I get to work - not many others have that benefit.  So, if you're one of those people - what can you do?  Well, there are several options.  Some days I eat a fiber full granola bar - FiberOne, FiberPlus...something along those lines.  You would think that there would be no way a little granola bar would be very filling - but because of the fiber, they actually fill me up pretty well.  Protein shakes are another option.  I used to buy Myoplex Lite shakes - haven't drank one in a while - but they are pretty good, and full of the nutrients you need to start your day.  If you have time to eat breakfast, but not to prepare, opt for some oatmeal or a bowl of cereal.  The very best cereal I've found is Kashi cereal...it has the same protein as an egg, lots of fiber to fill you up, and tastes great.

OK, so you've started your day off with breakfast - the best way to start the day.  Now, you're off to work, you don't get a break until lunch time, and you are in a job that doesn't allow you to eat a mid-morning snack - what can you do?  This is where not eating before 6am comes in to play for me.  If I know that I'm not going to eat again until 11 - I really don't want to eat my breakfast too early.  Eating breakfast at 7 gives me only 4 hours before I can eat again.  Unfortunately, there's really nothing you can do about it.  You might not be able to eat - but I haven't found any jobs that won't let you drink water.  That's what I do.  Between breakfast and lunch, I try to drink about 48ozs of water.  Water helps curb your appetite, and is a VITAL ingredient in losing weight.  If you find that you get hungry, try drinking a protein shake.  Those handy little shakes are basically liquefied meals - so they are an AWESOME alternative to actually eating.  If you're allowed to drink, but not eat - then opt for a protein shake or just stick to water. 

Now it's lunch time.  Currently, I'm lucky enough to have a break from 11 - 1:15.  I get 2 1/2 hours to think about the rest of my day.  That will change next week, but right now I'm taking advantage of having such a long time.  I eat lunch at 11.  For lunch I try to have a good meal - soup and a sandwich, protein and rice, leftovers from the night before.  Because my schedule is so quirky, I know that I need a good lunch to give me sustenance to last the entire day.  I wouldn't suggest eating something like a side salad or just a sandwich - you'll be very hungry again in no time and that will be a problem. 

I know at 1:15, I only have an hour and fifteen minutes before the school day ends - but then I'm going to be at the school for a while, so it's possible that I won't eat again until dinner time.  That being the case, I eat a snack about 1pm.  I go for something light - a fat-free yogurt, a small serving of almonds, or some baby carrots.  If you're like most people and only get 30 minutes to an hour for lunch, then this option isn't really feasible for you...and another reason why you should get a good lunch in.  During the afternoon hours, if you can't eat a snack, repeat the plan from the morning - drink water or a protein shake. 

I don't eat again until dinner time, which is about 5pm in my house.  I then eat a snack about 7.  My rule is to not eat after 8pm.  The evening snack is usually some fruit, maybe some almonds, a yogurt, or something along those lines - again, not heavy. 

If you're reading this post and thinking - OK, she's not eating 6 times a day anymore...then, you're absolutely right.  In a perfect world, I would be eating 6 times a day.  I stand by what my original post says - eating 6 small meals a day is the best way to really lose weight.  For many people, now including myself, we just don't have that option.  That doesn't mean we don't try our best and do what we can.  We eat when we can, we still plan ahead, we make our situation work - whatever the situation may be.  During the week, I have no choice but to eat three meals a day and two snacks...that's not exactly a huge leap from my original plan.  I don't eat the portions of protein, carbs, and fats at each meal like I should - but again, doing what I can.  The real point is exactly that - you do what you can. As long as you're being conscience about what you're eating, drinking LOTS of water, and not coming home starving - then you'll be just fine.  If you find that you are coming home starving, and over-eating at dinner time because of it, then you need to figure out what's going wrong.  The worst thing you can do is over-eat at night...over-eat at anytime really.  If it's happening to you - really take a look at what you're eating during the day.  Are you getting a good breakfast?  Are you eating a good lunch?  When do you start to feel hungry?  How much water are you drinking?  I guarantee if you really look at those questions, you'll find where you need to make your "tweaks".

PNOTD:

"Everyone has their own set of rules in the game of life.  Everyone has different obstacles that they need to overcome.  I know that my way of overcoming my obstacles may be different to others - but I there is no rule that says I can't share my strategies to help them win."

Till next time.  ;)

Throw it Down Thursday - Circuit Style

Welcome to the first Throw it Down Thursday - Exercise Edition.  I'm excited to be writing about weight loss stuff, again, and feeling more motivated to start trying some new things and sharing it with you all.

This week, I've decided to talk about Cardio Circuits. When I had to quit boot camp my second time through, I was really upset.  Boot camp was the one thing that kept my butt in line - literally and figuratively - in regards to my exercise.  No matter what we did while I was there, I knew that I was going to walk away getting an AMAZING work-out.  I know the boot camp made a difference in my life because I'm now able to do push-ups, I can jump over things, I can sprint, and that's only the physical stuff.  My body is stronger, I am stronger.  While in boot camp, I always dreaded circuits...they were so hard.  Going from exercise to exercise over and over...I would be exhausted - but every week, I noticed I could do more and more.  It's crazy but after I left boot camp - the circuits were what I missed the most.

So, you can imagine how thrilled I was to discover that there were a couple of ladies at the school I'm interning in that were doing Cardio Circuits twice a week.  No, they're not as intense as the circuits I did at boot camp - but I still walk away knowing I got a great work-out.  Even though I haven't been able to go twice a week most weeks, I love going - and have decided to start doing my own circuits at home.

What are cardio circuits, you ask? Great question!  Let me explain.  Cardio Circuits are just a set of cardio type exercises.  They could be jumping jacks, high knee lifts, push-ups, sprints, sit-ups, jumping rope, etc.  You pick 5 or 6 exercises.  You perform each exercise for an allotted amount of time, then switch to the next exercise.  Once you've completed the circuit, you repeat. 

Want some ideas to get started?  Okie dokie, then.  Here's a cardio circuit rotation you can do at home, out in the yard - anywhere really.  When I do circuits, I do each exercise for a minute and then rotate around the entire circuit three times.  If you're new to exercise, you can opt to start out with doing 30 seconds at each circuit and try and rotate twice.  The key is not to do what your body can handle, but to get to a place where you  feel like you can't do anymore - and then push yourself a little harder.  I've found that I can do 1 min on each circuit pretty easy - but when rotating three times - the last rotation I really have to push myself to get through it.  Once I've gotten to a place where I can comfortably do the third rotation - I will push my time up to 1 1/2 minutes.  So, here's an example.  These are not the only exercises you can do (especially if you plan on doing everything inside) - there are little hundreds of variations.

Exercise 1:  Jumping Jacks - JJ are a great way to get your heart rate up with not much impact.

Exercise 2:  Sprints - Measure out a space (I opt for about 25 yards) and just sprint up and back.  Indoor alternative:  Run in place, and bring your legs back far enough to kick your butt with your feet.

Exercise 3:  High Knee Lifts - You can do this in place, or walk up the sprint track doing it.  Be sure to lift your knee to waist height.  If you want to add some pressure, try jogging while doing it.

Exercise 4:  Straight Arms - Hold your arms out straight out to the side.  You can rotate them, dance, pump - the key is to not let them fall to your side...you must hold them straight out for the entire minute.

Exercise 5:  Jump Rope - Self explanatory, you just jump rope the entire time.  Indoor Alternative:  jog in place and act like you have a mini-punch bag in front of you.  Punch out, quickly, rotating each arm.

Exercise 6:  Side lunges - Stand in place, lunge out to the left, lunge out to the right.  Twist your body slightly to get the ability to really get your leg out for a deep lunge.

REPEAT CIRCUIT

Cool Down - after finishing your rotations, be sure that you spend some time cooling down. Take a slow walk until your heart rate comes down, stretch out your arms and legs....don't just stop.  That will cause your body to tense up - leading to unnecessary muscle pain.

Remember, you can change any or all of the exercises.  Try using alternatives such as push-ups, jumping on a mini trampoline, side kicks, front kicks, find a ball and do ab crunches keeping the ball between your knees... the possibilities are endless.

The best part about Cardio Circuits is the fact that you get a great work-out, but don't spend a lot of time doing it.  If you have six exercises, stay at each exercise for a minute, and rotate three times, then it will take a little over 18 minutes to do the entire work-out.  If a minute is too long, and you can only do thirty seconds - then you're working out for 9 minutes...but still getting a good work-out.  Try doing them a few times a week, and changing the exercises up.  You work different parts of your body, burn lots of calories...and you can control the intensity.

If you have any questions, you know I'm always here to help any way that I can.

PNOTD:

"Showing commitment isn't about how much time I dedicate, it's finding ways to pushing myself to the limit regardless of how little time I really have to spare."

Till next time.  ;)

Weigh In Wednesday - Finally!!

Ah, Wednesday.  Hump Day.  Middle of the week.  All down hill from here.  I could go on....I'm just stalling... but I hope that everyone has had a great week, thus far.

Yesterday was weigh-in day for my Biggest Loser competition.  For the first time since the competition started, walking in yesterday I had absolutely no idea what kind of results to expect.  I guess I kind of expected some kind of loss - only because Aunt Flo left, meaning my bloat weight would be gone. 
Every week up to this one I've walked into that room knowing if it was an OK week or a bad week.  I haven't really had a great week, yet.  Code Name: MOVE has been good, but I haven't exactly been giving it my all in the exercise department.  I've skipped way too many Cardio Circuit work-outs the past couple of weeks.  Playing a video game is fun, but can it really be considered exercise? 

Weigh-in days are kind of funny.  For me, it's like I go to confessional - in my head.  Before stepping on the scale I start to repent all of "sins" in regards to the should haves and could haves.  I could of worked out much harder.  I should of eaten much better.  If I have a bad week it's all my fault - I should have and could have done better.  I think that I've been doing OK with my challenge of moving at least 30 minutes every day. Then I remember that I ate too much at the Chinese restaurant on Saturday night. Then I remember that I've been drinking lots of water each day.  But then, I remember that I've been sick for the past three days and haven't really stuck to my challenge because of it.  By the time I get to the scale, I'm a bundle of nerves.

So, I'm on the scale.  I'm nervous...I start promising myself that no matter what the scale says - I will work harder this week.  I promise to not give in to the temptations of bad food.  I promise to try harder to do more exercise...

The nurse then jolts me out of my inner-mind pleas and reminds me of my weight from last week:  207.2lbs

The scale is doing it's little calculation thing...thinking...thinking....then.....DRUM ROLL, PEOPLE!!!

My weight for this week:  203lbs!!!! 

I was in so much shock when I saw the number, that I actually got off of the scale and got back on - just to make sure the thing wasn't messing with me.  Cause, you know, scales have a sense of humor and might think it funny to mess with me head **eye roll**.

Happy can NOT describe how I felt when I saw that number.  In five weeks, I had lost an embarrassing 2.8lbs - and in one week, I lost almost double that.  WOW!!

So, I lost 4.2lbs in one week.  I can sit here and do the math of factoring in Aunt Flo bloating and deflating and rationalizing that number... but FORGET THAT - I'm just going to bask in this wonderful, amazing moment....finally I see a solid weight loss - I'm still in this competition.  I also achieved another great accomplishment this week....I have no officially lost 60lbs since starting my journey!!!  Take a looksy at the ticker...WOO HOO!!

It's crazy how motivating it is to have a loss like that in one week.  For most, it takes a bad week to be motivational.  If you gain you just think "I will work harder next week".  For me, it's the opposite.  I see a great number like that and think "if I work harder, maybe I could beat that number next week". 

This week isn't about beating that number...this coming week is so much more than that.  Just 3 measly pounds stand between me and that 200lb line.  If I really put my head, and body into this week - next week could be the week I've been waiting so long for.  It could be fireworks, celebrations....VICTORY.  I don't want to get ahead of myself, though...4lbs in a week is a big number.  I'm ecstatic - but it's going to take a lot more than just doing better to pull another number like that again next week.  Time to slip into my Biggest Loser pants...start hitting the work-outs hard.  I'm pumped to do it, I'm ready to get rid of that nasty '2' in front of my weight...GAME ON!!

PNOTD:

"Sometimes it takes success to find the motivation that's been missing.  There's no time to dwell on the failures or successes...each day is a decision - will it be filled with good choices, or not so good choices?"

Till next time.  ;)