All Aboard the Crazy Train!!

                                   

People never cease to amaze me.  You think you know someone, and then all of a sudden, you receive a punch to the face with reality.  You didn't really know them, you thought the whole time you was getting to know them that you've just been tagging along for a fun ride - until you realize that they've been riding around on the Crazy Train.

I don't have time for crazy people.  I mean, I do have time for some crazy people.  Crazy funny, crazy passionate, crazy loyal.  What I don't have time for is insane crazy....need committed in to a psychiatric hospital crazy.  That type of crazy is dangerous, toxic, and just nothing I want to touch with a 100 ft. pole.

One of my biggest rules that I have with my kiddos at school, my kiddos at home, and any friendship I have is that honesty is the best policy.  Don't lie to me.  It's a waste of my time, and I'd much rather deal with the truth than get caught up in a web of lies.  It's not that hard.  You don't have to completely spill your guts to me, but at least keep me on track for thinking what I need to think.  There's no use in lying, it just creates more problems, more hurt, and more trouble.  

But you know what happens when you mix crazy AND a liar?  If you don't... be thankful. Because that's a whole stinking, heaping pile of mess you don't want to deal with.  If you do know what happens, my heart hurts for you... because nobody should have to deal with that kind of mess.

Yet, I found myself face to face with it yesterday.  A new level of crazy that even I don't have much experience with.  A liar coupled with a crazy person...and the two of them in cahoots together.  That's a fun time, let me tell you.  Not.

How someone can go from being the nicest, sweetest person one minute, then just a mere 24 hours later is spewing out the most nastiest, hurtful things in their next breath just amazes me.  Not only did I have to deal with that, but add in a crazy, psycho who felt the need to tell me a few "truths" about myself.  And when I say crazy, psycho.. I'm not just being hurtful.  I'm being 100% honest.  C-R-A-Z-Y.  

When someone can tell me that they've been cheated on by their significant other over and over and that's how things are, and they're OK with it?  That seems a little crazy to me.  But, when you get to the point where you'll eliminate ALL relationships your significant other has with ANYONE, trap them in to that relationship by holding your child and other unknown (I know but I'm not sharing) variables over their head, and get to the point where you are a mastermind of brain control and power?  That's crazy. Like evil villain crazy.  The kind that has the potential to snap at any time and cause nothing but destruction and mayhem wherever they go.

But even crazier than that?  Putting up with it.  Letting it happen.  Being so weak that you will lay yourself down and be trampled all over without having the slightest bit of a backbone to stand up for yourself and do something to free yourself from it all.  Especially when there's so many people willing to help.  

And I'm not talking about abuse.  Not really.  I mean, there's definitely some abuse going on, here, but it's not the type of situation where a person is abusing another and that person is too scared to get out of it.  It's more like they both crave the crazy situation they're in.  They can't stand not having the crazy.  They completely do it to THEMSELVES.

But one thing I learned about myself within the past 24 hours is that I won't allow the crazy to interfere with my life.  All people make the bed they have to lay in.  My bed is full of happiness.  I have a great life.  Great family, great job, great home, great friends.  I have the best kids...they are so smart, so grown up, so responsible, so caring.  And, I know that they are the way they are because that's how I raised them.  Even during my darkest of days, they were always met with happiness and love.  They have seen me struggle and overcome those struggles - and that's a powerful thing to instill in to a child.  

And sure, I've traveled on my own Crazy Train throughout my adult life, but when that happened, I had one and only one objective:  Find the closest place to GET OFF.  Plant my feet back on solid ground, repair myself, and move on.  

I am a good person.  I am a strong person.  I am loving, caring, loyal, and passionate.  I am a dang good teacher, and an even better mother.  I have pulled myself through the pits of Hell, and came out on the other side feeling the rewards of my fight.  

So, when two people say nasty things about me... two crazy people that don't have the stability of a flea... do you really think that's going to get me down?  HA!  No.  You have no power over me.  You do nothing but make me feel sorry for you.  Both of you.  That you have to live in such torment, such unhappiness that the only way you can make yourselves feel better is by including innocent people in the twisted, sick game you both call life.

I do feel sorry for you, however.  Well, not exactly sorry for you, but the precious child you have in your home.  Sorry that the child you have in your home has to deal with you both.  I pray that she grows up and is able to overcome the struggles you are both placing on her.  No child should have to endure what you're doing to her.  

I feel sorry for the fact that you are so both intwined and engulfed in your crazy, that you both aren't able to go your separate ways and have some chance at a healthy, happy life.   But, I am afraid that may be something that never happens.  And I feel sorry about that.  

You both need some professional help.  Serious professional help.  And I'm sorry that neither of you can see that, nor will you do anything about it.

What I am thankful for, though, is the fact that I no longer have to be apart of it.  I have done all I can do, and it's time for me to wash my hands of it.  If it makes you better to say nasty things about me and make fun of me, by all means continue.  While you're having your fun, I'll be going about my life.  HAPPY.  I'll be basking in the goodness that surrounds me.  I'll be enjoying the fruits of my labor, and sipping up the drink of amazing life that has been bestowed upon me.  I'll be enjoying my kids, putting them first, and making sure that their future is paved in happiness and love.  

I say to you, Crazy #1:  One day, I pray that you hit rock bottom, just so you can see how toxic she is to you.  That even though you worry so much about your child that you're willing to live in Hell just to have a relationship with her, you are doing far more damage to that sweet child than you'll ever know.  But, when that happens, do NOT come to me.  You had your chance, and you blew it.

To Crazy #2:  It saddens me that you are so deep in darkness that you're willing to be in a relationship that is made of no love.  That even though you're continuously cheated on and bad mouthed, that it's OK with you as long as he's still apart of your life.  If you think that's what love is, you need a serious wake-up call.  Even crazy, psycho women deserve happiness.  

And to you both:  Good luck with each other.  You deserve each other.  I'm sure the rest of your days will be filled with the upmost unhappiness and crazy.  But, rest assured that you have had no affect on me.  I am stronger than that, and while you sit around laughing at me... I will be sitting around feeling sorry for you both.  Laugh all you want.  Laugh at how great my life is, how happy my kids are, and how life just couldn't be better for me.  If that's what makes you feel better, then by all means have it.  

At least I know if you're sitting around and laughing at me, there's at least some laughter in your lives.  Cause Lord knows, that's about the only happiness you both will ever encounter.  

I'm out.

Say Hello to Shadow

                                   

Jelly has a new fur baby!!  Meet Shadow, her new kitten.  And Jelly couldn't be happier with the new bundle of fur that she now gets to take care of.

Yesterday morning, I was doing my usual scrolling through the Facebook newsfeed when I stumbled across a post from an old friend that had pictures of kittens that were ready for a new home.  One in particular caught my eye, and that was a picture of Shadow.  A solid black kitten.  

Now, even though I have been on the hunt for a new cat for Jelly, I have to let everyone in on a little secret.  I haven't always been a cat lover.  No, there was a time when I was a dog person.  Actually, being a cat person is quite a new thing for me, and has only been me for the past two years.  Except, for the fact that since I was a teenager, I've wanted a black cat.  A completely black cat.  

I'm sure it has a lot to do with all of the suspicions when it came to black cats.  Suspicions I've never paid any attention to.  Black cats are supposedly evil, or carry bad luck.  What a bunch of malarkey.  Black cats get a bad rap...it's almost like cat racism.  So, being the person that I am, I've always wanted to have a black cat of my own to love and cherish...because black cats need lovin' too!  So, when I saw Shadow, I just knew that he had to be the little fur ball that Jelly would have as her own.

I made the arrangements for Jelly and I to go and pick him up, and Peanut came along to help out in case Shadow was a little too much for Jelly to handle in the car.  It's a good thing I did take Peanut, cause Shadow was quite the handful coming home.  He was climbing all over the car, exploring the surroundings, and curious about where he was.  Which is just what I want to see a kitten do.  It threw Jelly off a little, cause when we first got Gizmo he was so weak that he just laid on her lap.  

When we got home, Jelly went straight to making sure Shadow knew where the litter box and food bowls were, showed him her bedroom, gave him some toys to play with, and spent the rest of the day playing with him.  He is a cute little thing.  He's very playful, but also very loving.  He even curled up with me, at one point, and fell asleep on my shoulder.  I tried taking a picture, but he's so dark it was very hard to see him.  

For the first time since Gizmo passed away, Jelly asked to sleep in her own bed.  She's been sleeping either on the couch in the living room or in my bed, but last night she wanted back in her own room.  Which was music to my ears.  She took Shadow with her, showed him where his bed was (that she'd made up on her own bed), and the two of them went to bed.  He slept with her all night, too.  This morning, she got up, took Shadow to the bathroom, got him some milk, and took him in the living room to watch cartoons with her.  And that's where I found them when I got up, curled up on the couch together watching cartoons.  

It's just so great to see Jelly back to her old self.  Losing a pet is hard, but Gizmo was much more than that.  He was Jelly's friend, her playmate, her sidekick.  And once he passed away, it made Jelly feel so lonely...a piece of her had passed away right along with him.  Shadow has already started fixing that missing piece.  Although, I will say that Jelly is being extremely cautious.  She told me last night that she still missed Gizmo, and she hoped that nothing bad happened to Shadow.  She told me she was going to be extra careful taking care of him, and she has asked me about a bazillion times if I think something is wrong with Shadow because he didn't go to the bathroom for a while, or she was worried because he jumped off the couch, and I had to check him while he was sleeping to make sure he was still breathing.  

I'm sure it's going to take Jelly awhile to not be so worried, and it's probably not a bad thing for her to be so cautious.  Taking on a new fur baby is always a risk, anything can happen.  I was extremely lucky when I found my fur baby, and I just hope and pray that Jelly now has one that stays healthy and happy in our home.  Shadow came from a good home, and he had been kept inside since he was born and had been well taken care of, so I didn't have to worry about fleas or worms.  Even Shadow's mother was an indoor cat, that accidentally got out one day which was enough time for her to get pregnant.  But, she'd been kept inside ever since, and her babies were born healthy and happy.  

Katniss isn't so sure what to think.  She hissed at Shadow several times last night.  But, Shadow made her know that he wasn't trying to invade her territory.  He cautiously walked around her, and stood perfectly still while Katniss gave him a good sniffing.  I'm sure it won't be long before Katniss's maternal instincts kick in, and she'll be bathing and taking care of Shadow just like she did with Gizmo.  

Today, we have no plans to go anywhere.  We did all our errand running yesterday, so Jelly has a whole day to spend getting to know Shadow.  I will be spending the entire day doing laundry and working.  Which is fine.  I can't believe I'm admitting this, but I'm actually looking forward to it.  It's been so long since I spent the day glued to my laptop writing up lesson plans, taking breaks just long enough to put in a new load of laundry and fold the load that just came out of the dryer.  

Life is getting back to normal.

Life is good.

And, by the end of today, I'll be ready for my first full week of school.

Have a great Sunday, everyone!!

Hello Weekend!!!

If there's one thing I've learned about being a teacher, it's that there is no tired like first week of school tired.  And, praise The Lord that there was only two days this week that we had students.  Because, even though I am absolutely ecstatic about my new class, getting back in to the grind of teaching is EXHAUSTING.  

I'm so glad that it's the weekend.  Two days to rest.  Well, that's what I thought I'd get, but there's never really much time to rest once the school year starts back up.  There's laundry to do, groceries to buy, lesson plans to write, and unit plans to prepare for.  There's not really much time to "rest", but I can at least unwind and recharge.  

Last night, I was in bed by 8PM and slept for 12 full hours.  That's tired.  I don't remember the last time I slept that much... oh, maybe when I was sick.   But, I must have needed the sleep.

The first two days were amazing, though.  My new kiddos are awesome.  They are polite, and sweet, and seem really eager to have a great 4th grade year.  That's always a great sign of how the year will play out.  When they wrote their first journal entry about what they are scared and excited about this upcoming year, almost all of them wrote they weren't scared about much but they were super excited to learn.  Hello?  Music to a teacher's ears!!  

This first coming full week is going to tell me a lot about my students.  We'll do a lot of pretests and placement tests, so I can get a better understanding of the needs they have.  When I told them about the first project we're going to be doing, they were super excited.  We're going to be starting a unit about cultures.  We will read Charlotte's Web as our first novel study, and it really has a great message about accepting others, and being friends with people who are different.  There's a real connection that I can make about different cultures and lifestyles, being friends with people you wouldn't expect to be friends with, and helping each other overcome struggles.  Perfect for a beginning of school year project.

Included in that unit, we'll learn about plant versus animal cells in science - another way of connecting the dots for things that are different, but still share commonalities.  In social studies, we're going to start with Prehistoric Missouri and will be looking at the changes Missouri made over the first few centuries, the cultures of long ago and the cultures of early Missouri.  In math, we'll be starting with place value.  I can even attach that to my culture unit by talking about how numbers have their own individual place, but work together to create bigger numbers.  It's all very exciting.  

Something else that's taking place this weekend that is very exciting is going to pick up Jelly's new kitten.  She quickly decided that she's ready for another kitten.  I don't blame her.  She got so attached to Gizmo being by her side every minute of every day, she feels so lonely.  She doesn't like sleeping in her own bed and even playing in her room feels weird to her, because Gizmo isn't there to keep her company.  Even though she only had Gimzo for a couple of months, it was enough time for her to get used to having that companion with her.  So, one of my friends from high school posted that she has some kittens ready to go - and I've set it up that Jelly will be able to bring him home today.  He's healthy, has been inside since he's been born, and should be a great addition to the family.  But, as Jelly has said...addition, not replacement.  

I am so glad our lives can all start getting back to normal.  It's normal for me to be exhausted and busy.  Butter has already started football practice, so I'm at the school until 5:15 every evening.  It's a great time for me to go through any stacks of paper that's piled up, and stick to my plan of keeping my room decluttered.  I also plan on using that time to grade papers and do anything that minimizes the amount of time I have to spend working on the weekends.  Because, that's another thing I want to try this year...not spending so much time working on the weekends.  We'll see how that goes.

But, if I plan on getting everything done THIS weekend, and still having time to relax, I should probably get to getting.  So much to do, so little time.

Have a great Saturday, everyone!!

What a Wonderful First Day!

                             

That picture is of my new kiddos, hard at work on their very first day in my classroom.  You can kinda see me in the very back of the picture, bending down to pick something up which kept me out of the picture.  But, what a fantastic bunch of kids these are.  They were so well behaved and we had so much fun.  

When they first arrived in my classroom, they didn't make a sound.  They sat there, looking a little nervous, waiting for me to give them instructions.  I had a booklet waiting for them, full of first day questionnaires and activities for them to work on, and they got busy working hard on that.  Which is what you see in that picture.  While they worked, you could hear a pin drop.  Every now and then, I heard an occasional whisper.  But, even when I told them that they could talk and didn't have to be so quiet, they continued working in silence.  

By the time I was finished with attendance, lunch count, adding in my two new students, getting their desks and cubbies and everything else they needed, the silence was almost deafening.  I decided it was time to play a few games and liven them up a little.  We played Getting to Know Ms. Hill, where they had to guess the answers to questions about me.  Then, we followed that with Two Truths, One Lie.  This is a fun ice-breaker, where they have to share two facts about themselves and one lie, and we all had to guess which one was the lie.  That definitely got them talking, but they were so good about raising their hands and waiting to be called on.  

We went over procedures and class rules, and I gave them my spill about how important honesty is to me.  I asked them how many of them had heard or thought I was a "mean teacher".  To my absolute amazement, not a single one of them raised their hand.  One student said, "You're not mean, you're awesome... everyone knows that".  Urm.  No they don't.  Or they didn't used to.  Apparently, I was off my game last year and word got out that I'm actually a really fun teacher.  Dang it!

Then a girl swooped in with "You're only mean when you have to be", and that was an excellent point for me to jump off from.  I agreed with her, and told the kiddos that I'm not a "mean teacher" but I will get mean if I have to, and one way for that to happen is to not be honest with me, be unkind to others, or to steal from me.  I told them I can forgive missing homework, talking in the hallways, getting in trouble on the playground for rough-housing, etc., but lie to me, bully, or steal?  That will get them a one-way ticket to Mean Town, and that's one place they NEVER want to visit.  

After all that seriousness, we needed another game to play.  So, we decided to have a snowball fight.  By that, I mean, they wrote a few facts on a piece of paper, scrunched the paper up into balls, and then threw them at each other until I told them to stop.  Once they stopped, I drew a name and that person had to open up the "snowball" they were holding and try and guess who the facts belonged to.  If they were right, they kept playing, but if they were wrong, they had to sit down.  The kids LOVED it.  They were so good about it, too.  They didn't get silly or start running around the room, and it definitely got them up and moving after sitting for so long.  And, once that was over it was time for lunch.

The afternoon went by a lot faster because we have recess and specials in the afternoon.  I only had them with me for about an hour and a half before it was time for them to go home.  We spent that time working on more back-to-school activities and going over all the paperwork they had to get their parents to fill out.  It was a calm afternoon.

By the time my little darlings all went home for the day, I was EXHAUSTED.  There's no tired like first day of school tired, but I couldn't go home.  Butter started football practice, so I was stuck at the school until 5:15 before I had to drive to the high school to pick him up.  It was around 6:30PM before we got home.  

On the way home, the kids told me all about their first day, and they all sounded like it went really well.  Jelly is excited about being in 1st grade, and likes her new teacher.  Butter is excited about getting to take Ag. and drama this year as his electives in 8th grade.  Peanut is excited about the new friends she is going to make being a freshman in high school.  All three of them said they thought it was going to be a good year, so that's always nice to hear.  

Here are our first day back to school pics...

Peanut - Freshman

                             

Butter - 8th Grade

                             

Jelly - 1st Grade

                             

Me - 3rd year teaching

                              

Of course, I couldn't get my hair to look right for my first day back.. but oh well.

We are all ready for our second day...and then we get a couple of days to recharge and prepare for our first full week, next week.

It's going to be a fantastic school year, I know it.  

New Year's Resolutions

It's the first day of a brand new year.  A brand new school year.  And, I figured I should start out this brand new school year the same way I start off a brand new calendar year... by making some new year resolutions.

Maybe, just maybe I can do a better job of actually keeping these resolutions.  

1.  No Stress!

I love my job.  It's the job I've wanted my whole life. But, sometimes I let the stresses of the job bring me down.  This year, I vow to not let that happen.  I want to go with the flow more and just let it go.  I've made it through two years, and the kids have all come out just fine.  I just have to give myself more credit for getting the job done, and let everything work itself out.

2.  Acclimate to the Changes Like a Boss!

Every school year, there are always changes.  Changes to schedules, changes to procedures, changes to expectations.  And, it usually freaks me out a little.  I mean, change doesn't really bother me, it can just sometimes overwhelm me.  I start the year off with an idea about how I want my school year to go, and then I'm met with a bunch of changes that can put a kink in all those plans.  This year, to go with less stress, I also plan on going with the flow of the changes.  I'll try and mesh my plans with the new changes and figure it all out.  Whatever happens, I got this!

3.  Be More Positive.  

Wow, I'm sensing a theme here...one that I definitely need to work on this year.  HA!  But, seriously, I am going to be a lot more positive this year.  I don't like to be a negative person.  I don't like to whine or complain.  Last year, I did WAY too much of that...and it's NOT happening again this year.  I have found myself saying that I had a pretty tough class last year, but I should be embracing tough classes.  I should be using those situations to turn kids around, make a difference, focusing on how to make an impact.  If I just complain, I get nowhere.  So, this year...GREAT things are going to happen.  I'm positive about that!

4.  Be More Organized.

I spent the last few days of school, last year, in a tizzy because I had so much stuff laying all over the place that I didn't know what to do with.  Piles of papers, binders stuffed with papers I had some kind of plan of one time arranging in to something, ideas coming out the wazoo that sat untouched.  This year, I want to be on top of things.  Keep my room organized.  Keep my plans.  If I say I'm going to do something, then I should do it.  My goal is to end this school year by being able to walk out the door with everyone else, and not spend so much time wondering what to do with all the crap I've accumulated.  I'm also going to try and work on a system to decrease paper usage.  I hate having to deal with so many papers!

5.  Take a Few Risks and Try Some New Ideas

This one is tough and easy for me all at the same time.  It's no secret that I'm not a fan of teaching from a text book... well, teaching JUST from a text book.  I have spent the past few years coming up with units of study that I've been dying to do...novel studies, thematic units, research projects.  I've dabbled with a few here and there, but never really threw myself in to them because I didn't want to upset the apple cart of doing stuff totally different than what my team is doing.  I have done a few things different when it came to my reading curriculum, but I still felt guilty for not wanting to do what the rest of my team was doing.  This year, I'm just going to do it.  I've spent a lot of time sorting and organizing stuff into units, and I should make use of that stuff.  I know that units can be done, and work very well... I've seen it with my own eyes.  I need to understand that just because I don't teach using the same materials as my team doesn't mean I'm doing something wrong.  The same can be said for my team.  They know what they're doing, and they do a fantastic job of doing it.  But, just because it works so well for them doesn't mean it's the only way to do it, or that what I want to do is wrong.  This year, I'm going to really dive in to my units and see how they come out.  It means taking some risks, possibly making a few mistakes... but just like my kids will learn from their mistakes, so will I.

6.  Have Fun.

My first year teaching was a fun year.  I had a LOT of fun.  My kiddos and I were constantly laughing, celebrating our successes, and achieving great things in the process.  That year, I had some really low students that made PHENOMENAL gains.  Last year, I just didn't have as much fun.  I was more focused on doing my job, and doing it "right".  I let stuff like test scores and expectations take over, which took a lot of the fun out of my teaching.  My test results this year did not show the gains I had been expecting.  That's not happening this year.  I am going back to having fun...enjoying what I do, and making sure the kids are enjoying what they do.  I am a firm believer that kids need to enjoy what they're doing to really remember and soak up what they're learning.  They like to have some choice, they like to be rewarded for their hard work, and kids really do enjoy having high expectations and when given the right motivation will reach those expectations.  My kiddos this year are going to LOVE their 4th grade experience.  I want them talking about it for the rest of their lives.  In order to make that happen, I have to put the fun back in to my teaching.  Be goofy, laugh, make jokes, and let them teach me as much as I'm teaching them.

7.  Embrace More Technology.

I'm a techno geek.  I LOVE using technology in my classroom.  Kids LOVE using technology.  My kids, last year, loved having their own blogs, and constantly complained that we didn't spend near enough time using the blogs as they'd like.  I have websites that have phenomenal learning games on them, that even track progress.  Yet, I often get so caught up in the idea that all work needs to be done with pencil and paper, that I often let our technology time fall to the wayside in order to finish up a worksheet that needed to be completed.  This year, I'm not doing that.  This year, I'm embracing the technology.  If my kids write more on a blog than they do in their journals, then they should be blogging.  If kids are learning their multiplication facts on a computer game better than writing out their facts, they should be playing the games.  If I have less paper laying around my room waiting to be graded because a computer program will give the kids an assignment and grade it for me, then why the heck aren't I using it more?   Those are the changes coming this year.  I have 4 student computers in my room, this year, and I plan on making full use of them EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.  And, when I can, my kiddos and I will be in the lab making use of those computers, too.  If I want to be a speaker for technology in my district, then I dang well better be using it myself.

8.  BE HAPPY.

Last, but definitely not least, this year I'm going to be happy.  I'm going to enjoy myself, let the good times roll, and be the teacher I know I can be.  I will love my little darlings with everything I have, and make sure this is the best year they've had in school thus far...if not for the rest of their school careers. I have the absolute best job in the world, and I can show that by showing my kiddos how great my job is.  I get to inspire, motivate, encourage, and facilitate every single day.  I want my kids looking to me whenever they need something, whenever they are faced with challenges, and know that I'll be there for them.  That I'll always have a smile on my face, and that life is good.  For some of my kids, the time they spend with me is the most love they'll receive all year.  I need to make sure I make every moment count.  I only get 9 short months with these little people, and I need to make the most of it.  And in order to do that, I need to be HAPPY ALL THE TIME.

That's it.  My new year resolutions.  I'm so excited to get this new school year rolling.

Let's do this!!

Just One More Day....

                               

This is it.  The final day to make all of the last minute preparations for my sweet, new kiddos to enter the classroom tomorrow.  And I'm starting off this school year with not only a new look in the classroom, but also a new look on myself.  I finally decided to chop all of my hair off and I'm so glad I did.  I just love the cut and the color that my amazing hair stylist did for me.  It's easy to fix, it's light, and I LOVE the way it looks.  

Yesterday, I spent the day getting the classroom finished up for Open House.  I had to label EVERYTHING.  Name plates for the desks, name plates for the cubbies, names on the various clips I'll be using for various things.  I now know all the names of my students quite well, after having to write them so many times.  Today, I just need to fill in the birthday chart, and print off the back to school booklet I have my kiddos fill out on their first couple of days and I'll be good to go.  Of course, the printer needs to be working in order for me to do the last thing... it broke yesterday, that's never good. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that it can be fixed today, because I'm not sure what I'll do if I can't use the back to school booklet.  It's one of the gifts I give the kids at the end of the school year to show them how far they've come over the year.  

Open House went well.  I only had about half of my kiddos show up to meet me, but they were excited to see their new classroom and their parents were really nice. In fact, I was shocked at how excited the kids were about being in my class.  Last year, I was met with face after face filled with fear and worry.  So many of my kids, last year, were terrified about being in my class.  Which I don't consider to be a bad thing...even though that sounds bad.  I think a small level of fear makes them a lot more susceptible to the procedures and rules they learn within the first few days.  They quickly understand that as long as they follow the procedures, they have nothing to worry about and life is good.  But, last night, I was met with hugs and cheers of excitement.  I had a few of the kids tell me that they'd hoped I was going to be their teacher.  And, I have to admit, the fear factor is always amusing, but the excited students made me feel really good.  It's a great feeling to hear that kids really want to be in my class.

I am lucky enough to have two students in my class that belong to staff members.  Being that their parents had to be at Open House the entire time, the kids decided they wanted to hang out in my classroom the whole time.  They helped show the other students where their desks and cubbies were, and they chatted about how they are going to get to play Minecraft this year, and how much fun they'll have with me being their teacher.  Some heartwarming sentiments, right there.  It's one thing for me to tell a student that he'll be just fine, but it's a whole other level when I have students in my classroom telling their classmates how lucky they are that I'll be the one teaching them.  

I was already excited about getting this year underway before Open House, but now I'm even more excited for tomorrow to come.  I have a feeling it's going to be a GREAT school year.  

My own children came up to visit me before they went off to meet their own teachers.  Jelly was in much better spirits, and I was happy to see that she was feeling better.  She told me that she went out to visit Gizmo before she'd left the house.  That was heartbreaking and touching at the same time.  I think it's finally sunk in that he's gone, and she's ready to move on and remember him the way he was. She told me that even though she can't take care of Gizmo, anymore, she can still go out and check on him.  She told me she wants to get some flowers to put around his grave.  She is such a sweet kid.  I am completely shocked by her level of maturity and care that she's shown in the past twenty-four hours.  

She told me last night that she wants to get another kitten, not to replace Gizmo, but because she wants another kitten to take care of.  I think that's a pretty good reason for her to get another kitten.  I just need to make sure that I get her one that's healthy.  I really don't want another situation where I'm spending out hundreds of dollars at the vet to make sure it's not infested with fleas and worms, and potentially dangerous to Jelly and Katniss.  That may sound a little selfish, but as much as Jelly loves nurturing and healing, I have to think about her safety and my fur baby's safety.  The reason I keep my cat inside is because I don't like the idea of fleas, ticks, and worms getting ahold of her.  I was very lucky when I got Katniss, because she had been treated for all of those things before coming to me.  I need to make sure I do the same for the new kitten that Jelly gets.  

OK, I think that's enough for today.  Jelly and I both have to get ready.  Jelly is getting to spend the day with her best friend while I'm at work.  It'll be really good for her.  Jelly is nervous about starting school tomorrow, so I think it'll be good for her to spend a day with her friend.  Jelly's friend's parents are so sweet, and I'm so happy that Jelly is best friends with their daughter.  I know I can go off to work and Jelly will be in good hands.  

Alright...this time tomorrow I'll be gearing up for my first day back to school with kids.  T-Minus TWENTY FOUR HOURS...and..... GO!

R.I.P. Sweet Gizmo

                             

Last night was a very tough night for me.  Around 7PM, while I was on my way home from a meeting for Peanut's choir booster club, I got a phone call from Hubby that Gizmo had passed away.  

Little Gizmo had been sick.  We knew that on Sunday.  He was having a really hard time standing, wasn't eating, and was sleeping all of the time.  Hubby was able to get Gizmo to the vet yesterday morning, but the prognosis wasn't great.  We found out that Gizmo had some kind of issue with his spine, either brought on by an injury or some kind of abnormality.  The vet was unable to give a definite answer on what caused the problem, or if it was even fixable.  We do know that Gizmo had not suffered any injury that we were aware of.  Their suggestion was to send him home with some steroids and some pain meds and make him as comfortable as possible.  He would either start to improve, or he wouldn't.  I wasn't really happy with that prognosis, because I didn't want Gizmo suffering.  The vet had said, though, that there was a possibility he could recover... so we just had to take the chance.

Well, he was made very comfortable when they got home, but apparently the problem was far worse than the vet thought, because he wasn't able to make it.  Hubby said all of a sudden he seemed to be having some difficulty breathing, and then he just went.  Quite quickly, and seemingly quite peacefully. 

Gizmo was such a great little kitten, and I am just heartbroken.  But, my heartbreak is nothing compared to Jelly's.  As soon as I got home last night, Jelly rushed to in to my arms and sobbed.  Jelly had requested that Gizmo stay in his cat bed until I got home, and he did look peaceful laying there.  Of course, when I saw him, my own tears couldn't be contained and Jelly and I sobbed together.  We decided to bury Gizmo at the very end of our yard under a shade tree.  I wrapped Gizmo up in the towel he used to sleep on, and Hubby dug the hole.  While we stood there, poor Jelly was just a mess.  I can't even imagine how hard it is on her.  This is her first loss.  I mean, her guinea pig died when she was younger, but she wasn't near as attached to the guinea pig as she was to Gizmo.  Once Gizmo was laid to rest, Hubby covered him over and Jelly went about circling the little grave with rocks.  She wanted it to look special, be special.  Not just a dirt pile that would slowly get lost over time.  That cat sure did capture Jelly's heart.

And that's what made him such a great kitty.  When we first got him, he was so little, so weak, and in pretty bad shape, but Jelly nursed him back to full health.  He slept with her every night, and she spent all day carrying him around like a baby or playing with him like one.  They would chase balls together, he would sit and watch her color, and they would snuggle together for hours on the couch watching TV.  Even though we only had him for a few months, he had become a part of our family.  He was her fur baby, and Jelly truly loved him.  And to see the heartbreak in her eyes was devastating.

She ended up crying herself to sleep in my arms, last night.  I let her sleep in my bed, with me, because her bed was too empty without Gizmo.  

Someone else in our house is also feeling the loss, and that would be Katniss.  My fur baby.  She has been by my side since I got home last night, and I can tell she is missing Gizmo.  She snuggled with me in bed last night, but kept getting up and wandering around...almost as if she was looking for Gizmo. Katniss had spent a lot of time being very motherly to Gizmo, bathing him, snuggling with him, following him around to make sure he didn't get in to any trouble.  I can only imagine that Katniss is also hurting from the blow of losing him.  

I am thankful the kids still have a couple of days before they have to go back to school, so Jada has some time to grieve and get over her loss.  Going back to school will also help keep her mind off of him.  She asked me last night if we were going to get a new kitten, which I had expected.  What I didn't expect was her response when I told her she could have another kitten if she wanted one.  She told me she needed to wait a while, that she didn't want to forget Gizmo or replace him.  How heartbreaking is that?  I don't know many 6 year olds that have such a mature mentality when it comes to the loss of a pet.  But, that only further shows how truly loved Gizmo was and how much he meant to her. 

I know that eventually, Jelly will want another kitten.  And we will get her one.  Of course, we will be a little more selective and try and find one that is much healthier than Gizmo was when we first got him.  But, I know that Gizmo will never be forgotten and can never be replaced.  I hate that Jelly had to face this kind of loss at such a young age, but I know that she will remember him and cherish the time that they got to spend together.  She will forever know that Gizmo loved her just as much as she loved him, that she took him in when someone else threw him away, that she never gave up on him despite how sick he first was, and that he spent his final days being loved and cared for in the best possible way.  

So, in closing, I just want to say Rest in Peace, sweet Gizmo.  I am thankful you are no longer suffering, that your pain is now gone.  And while we go through the pain of losing you, we will go on knowing that we loved you and you loved us.  You will always hold a special place in Jelly's heart, in all of our hearts... and you will never be forgotten.