Dear Diary...
I know I've said it many times before, but my goodness do weekends go by fast. One minute I'm driving home from work on a Friday afternoon, and the next minute I'm getting ready to drive to work on Monday morning. A whole weekend, gone, in the blink of an eye.
Peanut and I were up nice and early Saturday morning to participate in the Race for the Cure. We got there around 7:40 and had almost an hour to kill before the race started. We decided to walk around the mall and see what booths were already set up and stuff. It was a beautiful day - perfect for walking 5K.
Peanut got a pair of bunny ears from a vendor, and decided she wanted to wear them for the race...
And here's a pic of the two of us right before we started...
The race got underway, and Peanut and I had already decided we weren't going to rush. This was my first year of not running, which made me sad - but it was also my first year of walking along side my daughter. I wanted to enjoy it. So, we leisurely walked the 3.1 miles talking about all kinds of stuff. It was nice to just have that time with her. We don't get much time alone, so being able to do something like walking for charity is a huge deal.
We ended up finishing our walk in a little over 52 minutes. I only know that because their was a big timer at the finish line. I didn't think that was too bad - not that I cared. After that, we walked around and picked up a few goodies from some of the vendor booths and then headed to the car. We decided to grab a quick bite to eat on the way home. A bad bite - a slice of breakfast pizza and a banana nut muffin.
Saturday was my free day. I told myself I was going to treat myself. Eating a slice of breakfast pizza and a muffin should have been plenty to satisfy my cravings, but alas - it was not. Mom and I went out to play bingo for the evening, and we had an early dinner before we got started. I ate a burger and fries. It occurred to me before ordering that I couldn't remember the last time I'd eaten a burger. That, actually, made me feel pretty good. But, it also led to me ordering said burger with fries. Then, later in the evening I ate some chicken strips and ranch dressing.
The saddest part is that while I was cramming my face full of sodium and fat, I was telling my mom all about my new found love of clean eating. Stupid, isn't it? I'm sitting there telling her how wonderful clean eating makes me feel - with a mouthful of processed burger and fries. Lovely. I truly amaze myself, sometimes.
Yes, it was a terrible day in terms of my food intake. I'm not proud of the amount of crap I put in to my system - and I regretted it yesterday. That tell-tale bloated feeling appeared. I tried to drink as much water as I could yesterday. I also made sure not to make the same mistake and get back on track. I
did pretty well...not perfect. I ate some kettle corn from the craft
festival that we visited... but that was the extent of my bad eating for
yesterday.
I also noticed how sluggish and tired I felt once I finally got home yesterday afternoon. I ended up sleeping for 3 hours shortly after we got home, and was still able to go to bed at 9:30 and sleep all night. That's just too much sleep! .
I've already decided that I need to limit my "free day". I'm going to adjust to having a free meal on Saturdays - rather than spending the entire day living in Care-Free Land. In a matter of one day, I was able to pile in enough calories to see all my hard work from last week disappear in the blink of an eye. OK, I know I didn't really eat enough to gain 5lbs in one day... but it was enough to tell me that the bloating that has now reappeared is enough for me to gain the 5lbs back in one day.
Oh, and if you didn't pick up on my subtle hint - I'm back to weighing myself again. Not officially. If that's possible. More of a guidance tool...to keep me on my toes. Some people are able to live without the scale - I'm just not one of those people. The scale provides me motivation that I can't find from anywhere else. Last week, I stepped on the scale a couple of times - and was thrilled at the results I was seeing. I step on it again this morning, and was pissed to see the damage I've done. The happiness motivates me to keep going, the anger motivates me to not make the same mistakes again. The number this morning is what has made me realize that I can have one meal a week that's "care free" but that's it. No more junk-food filled Saturdays for me!
Once I get back down to the 239lbs I started this year off weighing, I'll start reporting my weigh-ins each week. I have a long way to go. Ten pounds, actually. It makes me mad that I've managed to gain 10lbs in 5 months rather than lose 20. But, I'd managed to lose 5lbs of them last week (before my junk fest this weekend). I'm confident that if I have another week like last week, and don't spoil it next weekend, that 10lbs will be gone in no time..and I'll be back to losing the weight I started this year off wanting to lose.
Lesson learned, and all that jazz. I'm going to put myself in to it 150% this week - which means making my rear end get out for the walks that I'm supposed to be doing every day. If I can lose 5lbs just by adjusting my eating - then who knows what I can accomplish by putting a little pep in my step and walking for 20-30 minutes each day. Guess we're going to find out.
Till next time. ;)
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