I Apparently Have Lack of Movement Brain Fart Syndrome

 Dear Diary...

You're going to have to forgive me this morning.  For some reason, my coffee just hasn't seemed to have kicked in and I'm sitting here with a completely blank mind.  Unusual, isn't it?  You know that means I'm just going to ramble away with whatever pops in my head.  Otherwise known as a brain fart.

I slept like a baby last night.  For some reason, I was exhausted at 7pm and asleep by 8.  Not sure why.  It's not like I've been doing anything extremely strenuous that would make me that tired.  But I was.  Actually, it's probably because I'm not doing anything extremely strenuous at the moment as to why I feel so tired all the time. I just don't have much energy.  I just want to sleep.  I know if I started getting more movement in to my life, once again, I'd have much more energy.  I didn't even want to get out of bed this morning at 4...even though I'd been asleep for 8 hours. 

It's two weeks until my gym opens.  Two weeks!! That's such a long time.  That's two Biggest Loser weigh-ins that I can't afford to just sit around and do nothing.  Literally can't afford.  I have the opportunity to win $100+.  I've let the chance of winning these competitions slip through my fingers too many times.  If I have any hope of actually winning, I can't just wait with the mentality that I'll be able to pull big numbers once I'm working out at the gym. 

The weather is supposed to be pretty nice this weekend.  And my brother is coming to spend the weekend with me.  I'm thinking I might take the kids to the park for a while.  It will be good for them to get out of the house in to the fresh air.  It will be good for Momma, too.  If I just made myself get out and walk for a bit, that would be so much better than doing nothing. 

Let's not forget that my house is still in need of a serious scrubbing.  I hate having company over at my house when it looks the way it does.  It's embarrassing.  I know it wouldn't take long to get the house clean, if I really buckled down to do it.  But I always have this feeling that the minute the house is clean, it gets destroyed again.  That's what happens when a 4 year old lives with you.  She loves all of her toys...and plays with all of them.  All over the living room, back room, kitchen, office.  I'm pretty sure there's not a single spot in this house that doesn't show the signs that a 4 year old occupies the space with playing with her toys.  And bless her heart, she tries (sometimes) to help clean up her own mess.  But she's so overwhelmed by the amount of toys she has to clean up...she often just picks up a pile and moves it to a different location.  I can't blame her.  I'm overwhelmed looking at it - I can't imagine what it looks like to her. 

Someone said to me the other day "be grateful that she actually plays with her toys...my kids have tons of toys that I never see".  Yeah.  That's something I guess I should be grateful for.  She does play with those toys.  I didn't say this, but I bet her house is clean.  If her kids don't play with their toys, I bet she gets to enjoy a house free of obstacle courses and toe stubbings.  This goes to show what happens when you complain about having two kids that never played with any of their toys.  That was me a few years ago.  Then, I just had to have a child that made sure not a single toy went unloved.  Be careful what you wish for, I guess.

Well, don't I just sound like a Debbie Downer this morning?  Did someone switch my coffee to decaf when I wasn't looking?  I'm not in a bad mood.  Promise!  Just a little sluggish is all.  Even I can't be perky every day...right?  It is 5:15 in the morning, after all.  And when have you ever known a brain fart to be a good thing?  It stinks - just like real farts!

I've been thinking a lot these past couple of days about what I was like back in 2010 when I was Joanna - Warrior Princess.  I've been reminded of that spunk I had every day.  Every time someone mentions to me that they're thinking of joining the gym with me - or have done so already - I get all motivated and stuff.  I remember the days when people looked up to me as a fighter.  Someone who took weight loss by the horns, and was tackling that evil bull to the ground.  I've still got the talk, but now I gotta start walking the walk.  I've been sending out promises of whipping their behinds in gear.  A promise I don't intend of breaking.

The problem is, they've seen that I made the progress.  But they've also seen that I let it go.  It's going to be hard to prove to them that I've still got it, and my gaining back the weight was just a bump in the road and not anything that will effect their success. 

There's an opportunity awaiting me here.  One that I can't let go.  There was actually a time not so long ago when I wanted to dabble in being a trainer.  Not the pumped up, wafer thin trainers you often see (and fear) at the gyms.  No, a trainer that's still working towards her own goals...just helping other people along the way.  I now have this opportunity staring me in the face.  It's there for the taking.  It's time to grab those horns, once again.

OK, I feel much better now.  Time to go tackle some minds.  There's a storm brewing inside of me...and I know that once it's unleashed - there will be no stopping me!  And no, I'm not talking about the brain fart storm I just unleashed on you. 

Till next time. ;)