Weigh In Wednesday

Dear Diary...

Today is the day I'd thought I'd be excited about.  Eighteen days ago, I thought for sure that once I was half way through January, I'd be off to a great start...and watching the scales decline at a rapid pace.  Apparently, I'm not a very good psychic.  I can't see in to the future.  What I thought would be happening, and what is actually happening are two very different things.

Today I did my first official weigh in for the new year.  Nineteen days ago, I stepped on the scale for the last time in 2011.  It was the number I never wanted to see again.  I wanted to kiss it goodbye forever.  Leave it in my past.

The first couple of weeks of January have obviously not gone to plan.  That's why I made it a goal not to set any weight loss goals...and let it happen at it's own pace.  It's a good thing I did, because otherwise I'd be even more disappointed than what I am at this very second.

Let's get down to the numbers, shall we?

On December 31st, 2011 I weighed in at 239.8lbs.  The weight I never wanted to see again.  Now, 19 days later, I stepped on the scale to see....

239.4lbs

In a little under 3 weeks, I've managed to lose 0.4lbs.

Of course I'm not thrilled about the number.  But, I really thought I was going to see a gain this morning...so I guess I should take a victory - regardless of how tiny it is.  It's still pathetic, though, and I'm very ashamed.

When I look back to last week, I guess it is more of a victory than I'm giving myself credit for.  I didn't do an official weigh in last week, because I was so appalled by the number.  Last week, I saw 242lbs on the scale.  I'd gained 2lbs in my first two weeks of the year.  I just couldn't bring myself to start my weight loss documentation off like that.  This week, however, I guess I can bask in the fact that at least I've lost 2lbs since last week.  But it doesn't count.  I chose not to post my weight last week, so I can't take credit for the loss now.  Plus, how could I possibly be happy about gaining 2lbs last week?  I can't...ergo, it doesn't matter that I'm back down to the number I'm at this week... I shouldn't have gained the weight in the first place!

My numbers line up pretty close for my Biggest Loser competition.  When I did my first weigh in for that back on January 5th, I weighed in at 239.5lbs.  Yesterday, I weighed in at 239.0lbs  That's a half a pound lost for the competition.  That's just as bad as my official weigh in.  Mainly because I tried to pad some extra weight on to my first weigh in.  I made sure I drank plenty of coffee and ate breakfast before weighing in.  Yesterday morning, I'd only drank one cup of coffee.  There's a valuable lesson here, folks... don't try and cheat the system.  It will bite you in the ass every time.

I've made the executive decision that I will only be adding dollars to my Reward Jar.  Meaning, that only whole pounds lost will get me money.  So, for example if I lose 1.8lbs in a week - I get $1 added.  I don't get to claim the extra until another full pound has been reached.  If the following week, I gain 1.2lbs then I'd get $2 because of the 0.8lbs from the week before added to the 0.2lbs would give me a whole dollar amount.  Did your head just explode from reading that?  Mine did.  In short... I'll show you how it will work once I actually get more than a pound weight loss.  Hopefully that will come in the very near future.

It's exactly two weeks until my 30th birthday.  It seems weird seeing it in print.  I'll be 30 years old.  It sounds funny when I say it out loud.  Just doesn't seem possible.  I can't believe that it's been almost 12 years since I gave birth to my first child.  Five years ago, almost to the day, I started my college career feeling like four years was a very long time.  But look how fast it flew by?  I've now been out of school for 8 months.  This year, I really want to make every moment count.  I have a couple of dreams I want to see come true this year.  One, of course, being that I finally get the classroom that I've been wanting for 25 years.  The other?  To see myself become the thinnest and most fit I've ever been.  Wait, I don't like the word "thinnest".  Let's replace that with reach the healthiest weight and most fit that I've ever been.  There, that sounds better. 

I have every intention of getting there.  Intentions won't get me there, though.  I have to follow through on those intentions.  I know that.  This isn't my first go around with this weight loss stuff.  I am an expert at starting and not succeeding.  I don't want to be that expert anymore.  I want to be another success story.  Another person that people can look to and say "well, if she can do it - anyone can".  That's right!  If I can do it anyone can.  And get there I will!

Till next time. ;)