Butterflies and Belly Monsters

Dear Diary...

I woke up this morning with the flitter flutter or butterfly wings against the inside of my stomach.  Today is a very important day.  No, scratch that. Today could very well be the most important day of my life.  I have an interview.  Not just any interview, but possibly the only interview I might get this year - if things don't go well.

When I think about that, those cute little flitter flutters turn in to wrenching, mini drop kicks from the inside, butterfly wings that turn in to belly monsters.  Think evil trolls that are trying to get out, and are charging my insides to do so.  Not the most pleasant of feelings.

Intimidated.  Scared.  Petrified.  Topped with a little excitement.  All four are what I'm feeling right now.  I've waited all year long for this opportunity, and now I'm finally getting the chance I've been waiting for.  It's not how I thought it would go - but I can't complain. 

You see, I'm interviewing for the district.  As a whole.  Not a specific job.  I have no idea who will be interviewing me.  All I know is that I have to be at one of the district buildings at 8am this morning, and that I'll be performing a preliminary interview that could lead to another interview with a specific principal - or maybe more than one.  But, I can't get ahead of myself.  I have no idea.  You know how I do with not knowing - or being prepared.  It's terrifying, but thrilling all at the same time. 

I know I'm spluttering off - and probably not making much sense.  But, I'm doing the best I can while butterflies spread their wings and stomach trolls are kicking the wind out of me.  Bear with me. 

All I know is that principals from across the district are performing interviews for three days this week.  Random principals - not necessarily those with openings at their school.  They are going to ask me questions.  They are going to listen what I have to say.  Then, they are going to decide if they think I'm good enough to be referred for another interview.  It's like an interview for an interview. 

My head is moving in so many directions, it's making me dizzy.  I did a similar thing last year.  It was the first interview I ever had - for a teaching position.  And it didn't go too well.  I was nervous.  I rambled.  I did everything I was told not to do in an interview.  I still get shivers up my spine when I think about it.  Now, I have another opportunity to fix that wrong.  I have a chance to show how much I've grown, how ready I am to be in a classroom.  I know I'm ready.  You guys know I'm ready.  But that's because when I sit here and share my passion, I'm not nervous.  To say I'm nervous right now is a little of an understatement. 

I know that today is usually the day I do my Biggest Loser breakdown - but now you know why I've skipped that.  The show is finally over - thank goodness.  The wrong person won, but we kinda already had a feeling that was going to happen. Kim should have won - not Jeremy.  Let's all hope that next season is a lot better than this season. 

Alright, now I have to try and settle the trolls and focus.  Please send your thoughts with me today.  Everything I've been working towards rides on this morning.  I need you all behind me when I'm in there. 

Till next time. ;)