Thank Goodness for Therapy

It's no secret that my son sees a therapist on a regular basis. It's required for his ADHD to help him cope with some of his anger and stress issues. What I've touched on a few times, but really haven't divulged too much is the fact that I use my son's therapist as my own therapist. Sometimes. Not always...only at times when I'm really stressed out and need to vent and want the opinion of a professional. And, it's not as often as you think - thankyouverymuch! Luckily, Butter's therapist is very cool to allow me to vent and let off my own steam when the only thing I should be discussing is Butter. When you really think about it - a less stressful mom equates to a less stressful Butter... so it's win-win however you look at it. Am I right?

Today was one of Butter's appointments that turned in to 30% Butter, 70% me. Come on, are you surprised? I may have mentioned once or twice how I'm currently taking care of 6 children, secluded at my parent's house away from Hubby, and worrying about getting my teaching license switched over to Missouri. Therapy Dude (what I'm going to call him) was very happy to hear about my new teaching job, but understood the stress that has now replaced the job search stress.

What he told me was what I needed to hear. I did this to myself. He tells me straight - doesn't sugar coat anything...and I need that. I am in no short supply of sympathy or a kind word when I need it, but it's sometimes hard to find someone that will say "Waa..you big baby, you only have yourself to blame". Not that he would ever use those exact words - but I got the point. He's totally right. I agreed to watch the kids. My parents didn't blackmail me, hold me down at gunpoint, or threaten to disown me for the rest of my life. They asked, I agreed. Which means? Yep, did this to myself.

It really helped to let out some of the stuff that's currently bothering me - and he told me to focus on what I'll get to do once my parents come back and life will go back to normal. He told me to focus on the fact that it's two more weeks - and as long as I stay positive, it will fly by. The guy makes a lot of sense. I have no idea what Hubby's talking about when he says he's told me the same stuff a thousand times. I don't recall any of that. And that's simply because all I want to hear from Hubby is sympathy... but he tends to be more like Therapy Dude. And I only have room in my life for one Therapy Dude. Although I still love Hubby very much - and I will make his life Hell once I get home. HA!

So, I left the therapist's office feeling good - a lot more optimistic. I got this. If anyone can do it - I can. Then, I saw that I had an email response about the ad I placed on Craigslist for my dog. That brought the walls smashing down around me pretty quickly. Just the thought of my dog not being there to greet me when I get home scares me. A lot. She's been a part of my family for 6 years... longer than my youngest daughter has. I feel like I'm giving up on her - the dog, not my daughter. OK, so she messes around the house sometimes...a lot... but is it enough for me to just find her a new home? She needs a yard to play in - I know that... but she's done without this long. Does she really need one now? The truth is yes, to both. But it's so hard to really admit that.

The woman that answered my ad sounds perfect. A teacher, with 3 kids. Hmm.. sounds familiar. Yet, she added that she lives in a nice house with a big fenced in back yard. She has a larger family dog, but wants a smaller inside dog to snuggle with. Sounds like something Asia will absolutely adore. I just hope she's as nice as she sounds. She's coming to meet Asia tomorrow and possibly take her home.

I keep telling myself that I'm not just making a good decision for the house - but for Asia. I know that once this next year starts, my time will be in short supply. It's been hard enough to give her some attention this past year - let alone once I start actually teaching. My kids are neglected enough - think about how much neglect my dog receives? Yet, I always imagined Asia being with me forever.

One day, I will have a house with a nice fenced in back yard. Then, maybe, I'll be able to get a dog that will be happy. That can run and play and enjoy all the luxuries a dog should have. Until then, it's only right that I find those luxuries for Asia now - while she's still young enough to enjoy them.

Wow...maybe I shouldn't write my blog posts in the evening anymore. I have a tendency to be very contemplative, huh? Well, letting it all out has helped. Maybe I don't need Therapy Dude as much as I thought. Or maybe Therapy Dude is the one that helped me come home and be so open with how I'm feeling. I definitely feel better now that it's all out of me and on here for you all to enjoy.

Gosh, I love my life.

Till next time. ;)