Soooo... you know how I said on Sunday that this week I was going to be all rainbows and sunshine? How I was going to write about being in a good mood, and try and be a little more upbeat and funny?
Yeah. Well.. Somehow, when I got dressed yesterday morning, I put on my cranky pants.
I just thought they were new leggings. Little did I know they were going to turn me in to a raving She Monster from the Cranky Lagoon.
The worst part is, I didn't really have a reason to be so cranky. I just was. Like don't look at me the wrong way or I might shoot laser beams from my eyes and burn your soul cranky.
And instead of just keeping my crabbiness to myself, I spurted it out to anyone who asked me how my day was going or how I was doing. I can only imagine that my reaction was perceived with me talking with flames burning in my eyes and horns popping out the top of my head.
I ran my mouth to the amazingly sweet library aide, and I am now convinced that she thinks I am Old Mother Cranky, and may fear for the kiddos that are in my classroom that have to put up with me. A simple "how's your day going" turned in to a fire frenzy of complaints and whining and snarky remarks about my mood and why I thought I was feeling the way I was.
The poor woman will probably never again ask me how I'm doing. In fact, she may never want to make eye contact with me again. And I wouldn't blame her. There I was, second year teacher, ranting and raving about stuff that most veteran teachers probably never complain about.
And the whole time, she was probably thinking "Who hired this crazy woman??"
I don't know if it was because I was tired, hadn't had enough coffee, or simply just woke up on the wrong side of the bed... but I definitely wasn't my normal self. I mean, it's not unusual for me to sometimes carry a look of slight stress on my face, but for me to unleash that much cranky just isn't becoming or fitting for me. Even on my worst days, I try to shield and contain the cranky beast and only let it out to the people that I know I can let it out around without coming off like some crazy person.
I hate days like that, and I can say that they don't happen too often. For that I'm thankful. But, then I spend the next few days regretting and feeling bad for how I came off, and try and remember who I was cranky too so that I can apologize and try and convince them that I was somehow temporarily possessed and the evil spirit has now left my soul to find it's new victim.
I mean, it's one thing to spend the day feeling like I'm traveling around in circles, having a tough time getting my students to understand or follow directions or listen, and then being cranky and frazzled when the day is over. But, to be THAT cranky at 10AM when there is absolutely no rhyme or reason for the sudden onset of Cranky Pant Disease is a little frightening.
I suppose I could just blame it on my time of the month. Which isn't the reason....not even close... but hormonal imbalance has always been a quick Get out of Jail Free Card, so I suppose if I wanted to I could take the easy way out and just blame it on that and be done with it.
"I plead temporary insanity, your honor, due to the fact that I'm in between cycles and I'm sure there's some form of scientific study that will back me up that women can blame crankiness on that stuff regardless of when the 'time of the month' actually occurs."
Today, I feel much better. I woke up without the sudden shock to my system I received yesterday. I feel pretty refreshed and like I got a good night's sleep. I've had a cup of coffee, and I'm now enjoying the peace and quiet of my house before the kids wake up. I feel calm and serene.
I have absolutely no idea what caused me to act the way I did yesterday, but I know that I don't like it and I'm very ashamed of myself. Maybe I was cranky because I had no reason to be cranky. That's a thing, right? Someone that spends so much time being frustrated suddenly figures out a way to fix some of the frustrations...that's a pretty big shock to the system, so it may have some repercussions. Like manic, post cranky withdrawals.
I really hope that's not a thing.
That wouldn't be good.
Today, I'm making it a goal to ride around school on a sunbeam, sprinkling out warmth and happiness as I go. Hopefully it won't be perceived as me being under the influence of anything. I mean, that's a pretty drastic change to make in the course of 24 hours.
But, it's important to me that I not be perceived as "that" person who does nothing but complain and whine... even when there's nothing to complain and whine about. I am NOT that person. A sudden onset of the cranks is forgivable, right? I mean, everyone is allowed one free pass to be uptight and moody for absolutely no reason at least once or twice in a blue moon..right?
I hope so.
Cause today I plan on turning in my Free Pass card, and hope that it's accepted and honored at all the stops I made throughout the day yesterday.
OK. Time to start making today a good day....and checking all my pants for any signs of crankiness.
TODAY IS GOING TO BE A GREAT DAY!!