Congratulations to my Best Friend, and Apparently My New Sister

                                     

Last night, I had an absolute BLAST attending the wedding reception of my very best friend, Sanity.  She and her new husband eloped last month in Vegas and celebrated with a reception for friends and family last night.  So, it was quite fitting that the theme for their reception was Vegas.  

For the entire evening we ate amazing food, drank, and danced around the dance floor just like the school girls we were when we first met.  I got to meet some of their wonderful family, and I even got to see Hope for the first time in about a year.  If you remember, Hope was the third Amigo in our college trio.  She had a baby about six months ago, and I hate the fact that I still haven't seen him.  That's completely my fault, but I need to do something about that STAT!

I got the chance to meet some amazing people, and also see some of the family members that I already knew but haven't seen in a while.  I loved the fact that Sanity's mom gave me a big hug when I first got there.  I love that woman, I really do.  She threw Sanity a graduation party when we graduated college, and since then her and I have been friends on Facebook and she's kept up with what's going on in my life.  She knows how much I really care for her daughter, and that I consider them my family.

Speaking of family, I was completely shocked with how many people asked me if I was Sanity's sister.  I mean, we've gotten quite accustomed to it over the years from complete strangers, but I was tickled by how many family friends and people from her husband's side of the family that thought I was her sister.  In their defense, she does have a sister that wasn't able to attend the reception, so I'm not that surprised they thought I was her.  I mean, look at us!  There's definitely some uncanny resemblance there.  Look at our photo from the day we graduated college...

                            

  

It's been three and a half years since that photo was taken, and we still have the same smiles.  Of course, the shape of my face has changed a little, HA!  This picture sits on my desk along with another photo taken with Sanity and Hope.  My students have all asked me if she is my sister, and I've been asked the same by teachers and other visitors to my classroom that have seen the photo.  

Last night, after the third or fourth person asked us, Sanity decided to start saying yes to the question.  We laughed about it, but in actuality the girl is just like a sister to me.  She's always been there for me when I needed her, and I couldn't ask for a better sister, really.

We reminisced, last night, about the conversations we had about when Sanity first met the guy that she is now married to.  We would giggle like school girls over how she felt about him, and I remembered how much he made me laugh when I first got to meet him.  We remembered how exciting it was when they first moved in together, and the times we've shared since then.  For some reason, it really meant a lot to me that I had been with her every step of the way through her journey of them first meeting, dating, moving in, and finally getting married.  It was what I had always thought about really, when it came to having a real best friend.  Sharing those special moments together and being able to look back and laugh at what we've been through together means so much to me.  

The whole night was awesome, and I had so much fun.  I am so happy for Sanity and her new husband.  I think he's absolutely perfect for her, and they'll be very happy together for the rest of their lives.  And now that we're officially "sisters", she needs to hurry up and start working on giving me a little niece or nephew to start spoiling.  I can just see it now, Hubby staying home with my kids and her new Hubby staying home with their new baby while we go out and hit the town just like we've always done.  We'll never be too old for it, I can guarantee that!  HA!

One day, if I ever get married, I know that Sanity will be standing right next to me through the whole thing.  I wouldn't mind doing the whole eloping thing, but if I opt for a more traditional wedding, Sanity will be at my side as my Matron of Honor.  We will then giggle like school girls about the times Hubby and I have gone through, and all the nights he stayed home and babysat while she and I hit the town.  

I couldn't ask for a better "sister".  She is my best friend, my partner in crime, my sister from another mother, and I will always cherish the memories we have and the memories that are yet to be made.  I am so very happy for her, and can't wait for the new adventures that her and her new husband will take.  

So, my dear Sanity, I love you, girl.  Congratulations on meeting the man of your dreams and for getting him to put a ring on it.  ;)  You deserve all the happiness and joy in the world, and I know that you will continue to have it with the wonderful man that is now your husband.

Have a great Sunday, everyone!

Day Nine: Thankful for Great Friends

                        

  

A couple of years ago, when I would think about the friends that I was thankful for, I would really have only two that came to mind:  Amber and Laura a/k/a Hope and Sanity.  They are two awesome ladies I made friends with in college, and to this day we still remain pretty close.  But, that was pretty much it.  I just wasn't one of those people that had a tight knit of friends that I spent time with.

I have always considered myself somewhat of a loner.  Other than Sanity and Hope, I really couldn't think of other people that I could call up and see if they wanted to do something on the weekend or invite to dinner or anything like that.  I hold myself totally accountable for that.  I am not the easiest person to like.  People often tend to shy away from me because I can be somewhat annoying, a bit overwhelming, and I talk A LOT.  I went through my days pretending not to see the eye rolls or hear the huffs and sighs from people I'd trapped in to talking to me.  I did my best to ignore the fact that people often disappeared when they saw me coming or tried not to make eye contact as I passed by.  It was just something I learned to live with, and tried my best not to let it get me down.

Thankfully, that has changed definitely more over the past year or so.   

Of course there's my team.  I've already given them a day on my countdown, and they belong in this post too.  They are my friends.  I can tell them just about anything, and I enjoy their company.  We support each other, offer advice to each other, and are just able to vent and laugh about everything and anything.  I'm pretty sure they've got to know me well enough now to accept my overwhelming and outspoken personality, and they are always there for me.

In the past few months, I've also started branching out and making friends with people at work outside of my team.  Two ladies in particular have really gone out of their way to bring me in to their little group of friends and give me a chance to have some solid friendships.

The first one is the lady in the funny hat in the picture.  That's Nicki and she is someone that really has gone out of her way since school started to get to know me a little better and I really enjoy her company.  We've gone to a few sporting events together, and anytime we're together all we do is laugh.  She is hilarious, and she makes me feel the same.  We share a similar sense of humor, and we are always cracking jokes and laughing at each other.  I can totally be myself around her, and I never have to worry that I'm going to offend her or upset her with my sometimes crude jokes.  She gets me, and that's not an easy endeavor.

Then, there's the lady with the glasses on to the right.  That's Sheila.  And in the past few months, we've really built up a good friendship.  Like Nicki, she also shares our sense of humor and can make each other laugh about anything.  What I also love about her is the fact that she is also very opinionated and will speak her mind.  Something we have in common.  Although, Sheila has a better way of choosing who to share her opinions with, something I haven't quite mastered just yet.  We have a lot in common, in fact, something I've found out after having some pretty in-depth conversations with her.  We share a lot of the same views on some hot buttoned topics, and we'll always bounce our opinions off of each other.  I enjoy her company, and I am very thankful that she enjoys mine.  She has really gone out of her way a couple of times to reach out to me and build our friendship.  Like I said, I'm not the easiest person to get along with, and the fact that she has gone out on a limb to befriend me really has meant the world to me.

Last night, both Nicki and Sheila invited me to a little get together with some other great gals from work.  That's where that picture came from.  The woman in front of Sheila and the woman sitting next to Sheila are both women I have worked with but no longer work at our school. They are so much fun, and I'm glad I got the chance to get to know them even better last night.  The two remaining women are both Jr. high teachers, and even though I haven't really spent any time with them outside of school, they are both pretty special to me.  They are both Butter's teachers, and they have done a lot for him and his school success.

And all of us together had an absolute BLAST last night.  I tell you what, I haven't laughed so much in my life.  It got to the point where I was literally in pain from all of the laughing.  The atmosphere was so relaxed and not once did I feel uncomfortable our out of place.  I haven't had so much fun in a very long time, and I really needed a night out.  

Those women get together quite often and are used to those types of get-togethers, and they probably have no idea how much it meant to me.  To them, it was another night out with the girls.  To me, it was creating and building the friendships I've been desperately looking for.  It's like I've finally found some people, other than Amber and Laura, that can tolerate me, accept me, and enjoy my company - and that has NOT been an easy endeavor.  

I am who I am, and I can't change that.  But, to find people that accept my flaws, enjoy my company, and bring me in to their tight little group of friends means the world to me.  

I may sound like a total dork spilling all of this out, but it's true.  I have so much to be thankful for in my life, but if it's possible, I'm even more blessed by having some ladies in my life that I can now call my friends.  

So, today, I am thankful for the three women that I work with everyday that are my team and my friends.  I am thankful for Amber and Laura (Hope and Sanity).  Even though we don't get to spend much time together, they have always been there for me.  I am thankful for Nicki and Sheila for taking a chance on getting to know me better and not running away screaming, and I'm thankful for the group of women that spent some time with me last night and showed me what it was like to have a close knit group of friends.  

To all of you, I am extremely thankful.  You probably have no idea how much it means to me to have such amazing people in my life... but hopefully you do now.  

Have an awesome Sunday, everyone!

A Party Packed Saturday

                         

What an amazing day it was yesterday.  A day I needed to recharge my spirits and get me out of the sickness and personal issues induced funk I'd been in all week.

First stop?  The land of Frozen.  I took the kids to a friend's daughter's 4th birthday party.  Jelly absolutely LOVES Frozen, so it was like a dream come true stepping in to a room that was completely transformed in to a Frozen Wonderland.  

I'm definite that my friend should start her own party planning company, because this is the 2nd birthday party I've attended that she's thrown this summer, and she definitely goes all out.  

The kids got to play games like Do you Want to Build a Snowman?  In which the kids had to use toilet paper and construction paper items to wrap up a designated person and make them look like a snowman.  The kids LOVED it.  Then, it was Pin the Nose on Olaf, and the kids had to be blindfolded and take turns trying to stick the nose stickers on a giant Olaf.  

After the kids played, it was time to dig in to the Frozen sugar wonderland that was spread out before them.  Cake, giant frosted covered marshmallows, frosted Oreos, sugar candy, frosted strawberries, and Frozen colored jelly beans made up the smorgasbord of sugary goodness for the kids to dive in to.  

And, no Frozen party would be complete without a Frozen piñata for the kids to smash.

All the kids had an absolute blast.

Once all the Frozen goodness was over, it was time to head on to Party #2.  

This year, we have a new principal.  Well, he's not "new".  He was the assistant principal last year.  Mrs. B is now the new assistant superintendent for our district, so Mr. K (new principal) is now the principal.  I am ecstatic.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I LOVE Mrs. B, but I'm so excited Mr. K will be taking over now that Mrs. B is moving on up.

Anywho, Mr. K thought it would be a great idea to host a Back to School bash at his house for all the staff and their families so that we could reconnect and meet the new faces that will be in the building this year.  

The turn-out was great.  Almost all of the teachers showed up and it was so great to see the faces I've missed all summer long.  I tell ya, it's amazing how quickly I realized how much I'd missed everyone by seeing them yesterday.  It was like no time had passed, yet so much time had passed since we'd all been together.  

The teachers' kids all took off to the pool and all the staff made a giant circle on the lawn with their chairs and talked and laughed and caught up on the summer goings on.  

Sitting there, taking it all in, I realized one very amazing thing: How much like family we really are.  There is a reason I always wanted to teach in a small town school, and that's for the family feel the teachers and staff have.  Every small school I've ever been in had that feeling.  No matter what grade we teach, what hallway our classroom is located in, we are all one big family.  

It felt amazing to sit with the new assistant superintendent and the new principal and laugh and joke around.  It felt amazing to watch our kids all play together as if they'd known each other their whole lives (and several of them have). It felt amazing to chat and visit with the people I get to work with every day and realize how much I'd missed their faces and couldn't wait to get back in to the swing of things at work. 

It was exactly what I needed.  

The whole evening was great.  The food, the weather, and most definitely the company.  

Regardless of what I've said these past few days, it's been a great summer.  But, I now know I'm definitely ready to go back.  I've had enough of sitting at home getting lost in my own mind.  It's a scary place in my mind, sometimes, so I don't like to spend too long in there.  So, it's time to dust myself off and get back in to work mode.

I plan on getting back in to my classroom tomorrow and hitting the ground running.  I have so much to do and so little time.  But, I'll get it done.  I always do.  

Today, Peanut is off with her aunt and uncle meeting new family members.  So, while she's gone, Butter, Jelly, and I may venture out and do some school supply shopping.  I plan on working on some binders and classroom organizing ideas.  And most of all, I'm just going to enjoy my Sunday.  

The funk is over....Happy Me is BACK!!

Have an awesome Sunday, everyone!!!

I'm a Girl That Likes to Have Fun

                               

Oh what a night!  

I am used to having fun anytime I go out with Sanity, but last night was definitely one of the most fun times I've had in a long time.  I let my hair down and just put myself completely out there to let the night lead me, and have one big last hurrah before it's time to go back to work.

When I'm with Sanity, I know how to let my hair down.  I managed to face one of my long time fears a few years back when I took the stage for the first time since high school to sing in public.  And, it's now become one of our traditions to head to our favorite karaoke place when we get together so that I can belt out a few favorite songs.  Despite the fact that I now have the nerve to get up there and do it, it doesn't stop the butterflies each and every time I hear the KJ say my name.  But, I do it...and I have an absolute blast.

Last night was somehow different, though.  It wasn't about getting up to sing, it was just about having some fun.  Laughing until our sides hurt, not caring what anyone thought, and throwing all caution to the wind as we sat and took in the sights around us.  

We started the night out by having dinner at one of our favorite restaurants.  We talked, we ate, and we planned out how we were going to spend our evening.  Which, was the same plan that we always make.  Head to our favorite little bar and watch some live music, then head on over to the karaoke bar to end out the night.  It's what we do each and every time we go out, but we like to pretend that we don't have any specific plans and we'll just see where we end up.  It works for us.

After dinner, we sat out on the patio of our favorite little bar and waited for the music.  We enjoyed a couple of adult beverages, and talked about life and all the new stuff that's going on.  Then, the band got started up...and... well, I wasn't impressed.  It was a bluegrass band, and that's just not my thing.  I'm not a country lover, but I would have preferred country music over bluegrass.  It just didn't sound good, to me, and so I was ready to get out of there pretty quick and head on over to the karaoke bar.

While we were listening to the music, though, one of Sanity's friends texted her and asked "Aren't you a little old for stuff like that?" Urm..what?  Heck no we're not!! And it was something about that question that made me fire up and really want to have a good time.  A crazy time.  Like we used to a few years ago, while we were still in college.

So, we headed on over to our karaoke place and let the night really begin.  

And what a night it was.  I got to sing a little, but the place was so crowded, it was much more fun to just sit and listen to other people sing and enjoy each other's company.  We bought a couple of drinks and just sat at the bar chatting to people around us and the bartenders.  It felt so good to just have some fun with complete strangers, laugh together.  Right after I sang my first song, the bartender brought us over a drink that we hadn't ordered.  At first I thought he'd made a mistake, but then he told us that a couple of guys had bought the drinks for us.  I was shocked.  I mean, I've had guys buy me drinks before, but it's been a REALLY long time.  I'm never out looking for guys to do that.  It doesn't even cross my mind that something like that would be a possibility.  I mean, I don't look like those cute college girls that walk around that place.  I usually keep pretty much to myself, other than joining in conversation with the people around us... so I was pretty flattered that a guy had wanted to buy me a drink.  And they weren't the only free drinks we received, either.  There were a couple of drinks passed down the bar for us, which totally caught me by surprise.  

I mean, again, I don't go out looking for male attention.  I go out for one reason and one reason only:  To spend time with my best friend.  That's it.  Period.  I don't have time to be hit on by semi-drunk men.  I also have no interest in that.  But, I also don't even consider it a possibility.  I often don't let the thought even wander in to my head, because it's just not something I usually have to worry about. There are PLENTY of good looking women that troll around the bars looking for that type of stuff.  Much better looking than me.  But, I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't appreciate the attention.  There's nothing more boosting to my self-esteem than being considered attractive enough to be hit on.  I don't even care how bad that sounds.  It's the truth.  I'll take some free drinks....it doesn't mean they're going to get anything out of me besides a "thanks".  

All in all, we had an absolutely FANTASTIC time.  Like always.

I don't think I could ever get tired of our little nights out.  They only happen every once in a while, but when they do happen we sure do make the most of it.  

Now I have to get ready so that I can take the kids to my niece's birthday party.  They've been excited about it all week...as have I.  

Everyone have a great Saturday!!

Emotional Crash

                               

I saw this pic this morning, and it clicked.  Immediately.  For the past few days, I've been in a whirlwind of happiness and excitement...yet last night, everything just came crashing down around me, for no reason other than the fact that I think I'm emotionally drained.

I've heard drug users say that they use drugs because they are addicted to the high that they get, and are terrified of the crash they receive once the effects start to wear off.  I guess I can relate to that.  When good things happen, you don't want them to end.  But, I truly think our bodies are only equipped to handle so much... before everything comes crashing down around you.

Nothing bad has happened, nothing has changed to make my super happy self feel unhappy, but the effects of the past few days have emotionally drained me.  They've overwhelmed me with such a huge surge of adrenaline that it has completely and utterly exhausted me.  

I also haven't been sleeping much.  That doesn't help.  My body is tired, and so my mind can't keep up with all of the new emotions I'm feeding in to it.  It's no wonder that at 4AM this morning I broke down in to a flood of tears... completely catching me off guard and coming out of nowhere.  

I was so confused...why on earth was I crying?  I've been so happy the past few days, so many exciting things have been going on, and yet all I could do was cry.  But, as the tears fell there were no bad emotions attached.  I didn't feel angry or sad or hurt... I just felt a release.  Like my body just needed to purge all of the emotions that have been building up inside.  

I truly believe that even though in my mind I hold no ill feelings towards the people that removed me from their lives 15 years ago, my heart hasn't quite figured out how to handle how I truly feel.  I've told myself over and over that what happened back then was done not out of malice, but out of protection. I've told myself that everything turned out just fine, and there's no reason why we can't just pick up where we left off or just start over.

Yet, deep down in my heart, there's still a piece of uncertainty that's holding on for dear life and not wanting to go.  

The what-ifs start coming to the surface.  What if I hadn't have been kicked out?  What if we'd stayed in contact all these years?  What if they aren't as happy as I am, and are just feeding their own guilt?  What if...what if...what if?

I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason.  I've said it a thousand times, in fact.  The events of my life played out the way they did because that's they way they were supposed to play out. Everything has meshed together and made me the person that I am today.  The good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful.  All a valuable part of my life story and what has made me who I am.  I never want to take any of those things back... because for every bad event, there has been three times the good that has been bestowed on me.  

And I truly believe that there is a reason these people have now come back in to my life.  I haven't quite figured out what that reason is, but I know that eventually I'll find out.  Even if it's nothing more than to have people that were once very important to me become very important to me again.  

It's all been a roller-coaster ride of emotions, and my body needed to rest.  To calm.  To release.  

And now it has.

I'm, once again, ready to tackle it all...to get back on the roller-coaster and see what thrills await.  Maybe none... maybe a bunch.  Who knows?  Whatever happens though, I'm ready.  I just need to remember that I have to take it one day at a time, one step at a time.  Pace myself.  

Today, I'm going to go and see Sanity.  Just to get together and catch up on what's been going on in the past few weeks since we last saw each other.  It'll be nice to get away from everything that's been going on...deflate a little.  

And tonight, I'm going to go to bed early and catch up on some much needed sleep.  That is something I really need to do... because I think if I wasn't so tired, I wouldn't be feeling so drained.  

But, all in all... I'm still happy.  I'm good.  Fantastic, in fact.  

Even better now I got to get this all off my chest.

Have a great Tuesday, everyone!!

What a Fantastic Time

                           

This makes a change... a picture I actually like.  Peanut and I took this picture Saturday night, right before our dinner date with my old friend.  I didn't get to finish writing about it yesterday, but I'm gonna recap it all right now...

I was scared and nervous and excited.  But, I shouldn't have been scared or nervous because I had an absolutely WONDERFUL time.

It was almost like no time had passed at all.  After the first initial, awkward, "Hi, how are you?", we gave each other a big hug and everything just seemed to go back to normal.  Like it was so many years ago.  

We had a great dinner, and talked about so much.  Our lives, our kids, our families.  We reminisced and shared our memories of our time together, and it felt so good to laugh so much.  K's little family were there and made me feel very welcome.  They knew the history, so that made things a little easier.  But, they embraced me with open arms.  Like I was part of the family, and that meant so much to me.  I took Peanut with me because they wanted to meet her.  Not that my other kids aren't important, and that they don't want to meet them... but Peanut was the child I got pregnant with when everything fell apart.  It was important to them to meet her, talk to her, and see that she turned in to a fine young woman.

Once dinner was over, we drove over to a little park so that we could all sit and talk some more.  It was such a wonderful evening, and we've already started making plans on getting our families together for cookouts and such.

It just blows my mind how much people from so long ago can impact my life.  I mean, I've lead my life and come out A-OK without them, but they've always been in my mind.  I've always thought about the day we could meet again and share our life's adventures.

The only other person I was so close with in high school passed away several years ago.  So, I really haven't had any contact with my high school friends.  Not because I didn't have any friends, but I'm a firm believer that once life moves on...the true friends are those that stick around.  Sure, I "Like" several statuses on Facebook that belong to people I went to school with, but I haven't spent any amount of time thinking about them or reminiscing our times together.  Not like I have for the three friends that were the closest to me.  I lost one of them, and can never get her back... which I guess it's so important for me to rekindle the friendships I had with K and C. 

They were a big part of the tough times I endured during my mid-teen years.  They were there to offer a helping hand and help me make the best out of a bad situation.  It's so much more than a couple of teenagers that used to hang out with each other on the weekends.  We lived together!!  Shared a home. 24/7, we were together for several months.  Their family was my family.  And, now, it's like I have that extended family back.

K has let family members know that we've reconnected, and now they want to see me again. See how my life has turned out and especially how Peanut turned out.  I don't think it's from guilt, but more of a reinforcement that the right decisions were made when they were made... and to make sure that no hard feelings are held.  

I'm OK with that.  There are no hard feelings.  Now that I'm a mother of a teenager, I know where they were all coming from.  Why on earth would they take on the burden of a pregnant 17 year old?  It wasn't their burden to endure.  But, I'm sure they thought about me...wondered how I did, how everything turned out in the end.  And, now they all get that chance to find out.

I really feel like I'm starting out another strong friendship... starting over, yet picking up where we left off.  We're all adults, grown, have our own families, but now we will get to share them all. Be apart of each other's lives, just like we always dreamed about.  We always thought about our adult lives when we were young, and how we'd all be apart of those lives.  There may be a 15 year chunk out of that plan, but there's no reason why we still can't make some of those dreams come true.  

K and C are like the younger version of Sanity and Hope.  Sanity and Hope have been there for me during tough times, have been my shoulder to cry on when I needed them, and me for them.  While we don't get to see each other NEAR as often as I'd like, I know they're always a phone call or text message away.  And they know the same about me.   I can't picture my life without them, now.  Which is exactly how I feel about K and C.  When I was 16 years old, I couldn't picture my life without them.  Even when they weren't there, they were still there.  And now, they really ARE here.  

I can't put in to words how happy and excited that I am.  Really, I can't.  I'm trying.. but it's not doing what I feel any justice.  

To some, it may sound silly.  An adult woman that's so excited about friends she had in high school.  Big whoop, right?  Well, that's fine.  I understand that.  But, there's SOOOO much more to the story.  And, that story is still being written.  One day, I'll share it all...when the time is right.  I'll explain why all of this is such a big deal, and why they mean so much to me.  There are parts that I keep locked away because I'm not ready for the whole world to know ALL of my deep, dark secrets.  

In fact, those two are probably the only people on the planet that know ALL of the story.  My family, my kids, my friends, their family...no one knows ALL of it.  Except them.  Because they were right there with me.  And knowing that there are two people out there that shared those experiences with me, helped me through them in fact, means more than anyone could ever know.  And it's what's kept our bond in place.

One day I'll be able to confront those demons.  Share them.  But, right now, I'll just be satisfied with having them back in my life.  To bridge the gap that's formed over the past 15 years...and make sure they never slip away from me again.

Have a great Monday, everyone!!

A Super Sweet 16

                             

Last night, Peanut and I were invited to celebrate the 16th birthday of one of her friends.  Her friend's mom is someone I know, and so I was also lucky enough to also get an invite.  Now, I know it might sound silly to be happy that I got invited to a Sweet 16 party, but I was.  Because it was a great chance for me to spend some time with a couple of ladies I've been getting to know over the past two years.   The kids all went off and did their "thing" and the adults (four of us) got to sit and chat and laugh and have a good time.

I was also happy to see E.  I haven't gotten to see her since school got out, so it was nice to have a good laugh with her and catch up a little. 

                             

Most of all, though, I was so happy to see Peanut among friends.  Older kids she had gotten to know by going to summer school.  Going off to high school and becoming a Freshman are two very intimidating parts of growing up.  Especially since Peanut has spent the past two years making friends with the kids she went to school with, but will now be thrown in to a mixture of kids from five other schools.  Six Junior High schools feed in to one high school.  That's a lot of new faces.

Despite Peanut being a little unsure about going to summer school, she ended up walking away sad that it was ending and happy about the new friends she'd made.  The girl celebrating her birthday, last night, was one of them.  They are going to be in show choir next year, together, and Peanut is really excited about the endeavor.

Since 5th grade, Peanut has been a band girl.  She played the clarinet, and seemed to really enjoy it.  Then, last year, she told me she didn't want to do it anymore.  I was sad, because I had been a clarinet playing band girl when I was in high school, and I loved every minute of it.  But, she had realized it just wasn't for her anymore.  Then Peanut was stuck with facing the task of finding what she'd do instead.  

The high school show choir visited our school, last year, to give us a performance.  While they sang and danced I thought about how great it would be for Peanut to do something like that.  I even started pushing it on her, suggesting she try out.  But, she told me something I hadn't really thought about: She couldn't sing. I'd never really heard her sing.  Sure, she sung along to songs in the car, but never really by herself.   Then one day, she started singing in the car and I really made myself pay attention, and I quickly realized SHE COULD REALLY SING.  She had a beautiful voice, but like me, was too afraid to sing in public.

In order to get her to consider trying out for show choir, I had to bring in reinforcements.  In the way of E.  E's step-mom is the show choir director, so E was the best person to give Peanut advice and encourage her to give it a try.  She talked Peanut in to finding a song, practicing, and building up her excitement for the whole thing.  Peanut found the PERFECT song for her voice, "All of Me" by John Legend.  The first time I heard Peanut sing it, I got goosebumps on my arms and tears in my eyes. She sounded wonderful.  So, Peanut tried out and she made it!  I was so happy for her.

And now, Peanut is in show choir along with kids from 9th - 12th grade.  

It was so great, last night, seeing her with some new friends...

                         

Don't get me wrong, I love all of the friends she made while in Jr. High, but that close knit of friends had to expand.  They all knew they would be in situations where they might not even be in a single class together, so it was inevitable that the small group had to branch out.  And, I'm so relieved Peanut has been able to do that before she even steps foot in to her first Freshman class.

Anywho, back to the party...

The kids all spent the evening dancing on the patio or sitting in small clusters and talking.  It was so different from what parties were like when I was younger.  If I had been thrown a Sweet 16 in a private venue with a group of my closest friends, I doubt very much we'd spent so much time sitting in small groups and talking.  We'd have been partying it up on the dance floor.  The girls tried, but the guys just weren't feeling it.  But that didn't seem to bother anyone... they all seemed to have a great time.

The four adults even gave them privacy by sitting in a small area downstairs, away from the patio.  We sat and talked about family, work, the summer.  We laughed until it hurt, and it felt so nice to just sit back and relax and have a good time.  

The party started dwindling down around 11PM.  Kids started to leave, and the birthday girl wasn't ready to call it quits, so she asked her mom if she could have a sleepover.  Peanut ended up going home with her for the night, and I drove home alone.  I made it home around 12:30.  

It was such a fun night, and I'm so glad I got to be a part of it.

Today, I'm going to get in the pool, relax, and figure out when I'm going to pick up Peanut.  That's it.  Nothing more... oh, except writing for a while.  

A relaxing Sunday....Perfect!

Taking a Walk Down Memory Lane

                                   

The left picture is me, about 4 years ago.  Dressed up for night out on the town with Sanity (one of my best friends).  The picture on the right?  Me, last night, all dressed up for a night on the town with Sanity.  Apart from the hair and the AH-MAZING aviators I'm sporting, I haven't changed all that much.  Aged just a little, I suppose, but still looking pretty good for a girl in her early thirties out for a good time.

And that's exactly what I had last night.  An awesome time.  Just like old times... four years ago, when we spent so much time together out and having fun.

It's been well over a year since we attempted the "college days night out reunion" and it was a major flop.  We were all home by 9PM, and probably in bed by 10. But, we were new teachers, then, exhausted from our weeks of working.  We just didn't have it in us to stay out until all hours of the night, dancing, laughing, and having a good time.  But, we've been doing it a while, now, and last night we were ready to try it again.

The old ladies that we are decided to start our evening off at 4PM.  Doesn't that just sound like a party waiting to happen?  Hitting the town at 4PM.  Oh yeah.  You know there's trouble to be made when people are walking up and down the street that turns in to a night hub of bars, drinking, and dancing with shopping bags in their hands.  Or their in workout gear from getting in a nice jog down the street before it's lined with drinkers falling all over themselves.  

Do you think that stopped us walking straight in to a bar, though?  Nope.  And to our astonishment, the place was PACKED.  4:30PM, and the place was already hopping with "adult beverage" activity.  

In our defense, we were actually going to dinner but got there way too early even for us to eat.  We hadn't really planned on kicking off our night on the town at 4:30 in the afternoon, but both of us were so dang excited to go out, we left WAY earlier than we should have.  But, it was OK, we sat on the patio of the little bar and just talked for over an hour.  We caught up on the all the goings on that's happened since we last saw each other.  Of course, an hour wasn't near enough to cover it all, but it was long enough until we decided we were hungry and we could pick up the conversation over dinner.  So, we walked down to the restaurant and spent another hour talking, eating, laughing, and reminiscing old times.

Once dinner was over, it was almost after 7.  We had made plans to watch a live band perform, but we found out that it didn't start until 9.  I'll be honest and admit that it sounded a little daunting.  Would we be able to make it?  

Well, I'm happy to report that not only did we make it for the show, but we were still alive and kicking after the show.  

The show was amazing.  A bunch of guys in their 50s, 60s, and I'm guessing even 70s were rocking HARD.  And their female lead singer had a voice that gave me goosebumps every time she opened her mouth.  She had a soulful, raspy voice that just reached out and grabbed everyone that was around.  I also love the fact that there were about 8 of them... three different types of guitars, a bass, a drummer, a keyboarder, a saxophone player, and the singer.  Just an all around, great time.

Once we had listened to some great tunes, I was in the mood to sing some myself.  And dance a little.  And there's only one place Sanity and I go to when those types of feelings set in.  It had been three years since we last stepped in to our "regular place", but the minute we walked in it felt like we'd been rushed back in time.  Old memories surfaced quickly, and I was back in my comfort zone, in the place I belonged.  

Thankfully the place was pretty empty, so getting up to sing my first song was easy.  I decided to go with an old favorite, a song I sang at a high school talent show:  Foolish Games by Jewel.  Not to inflate my ego, but I sounded pretty darn good.  The few people in the bar all stopped to listen to me, and it gave me the confidence boost I needed to keep getting back up on that stage even as droves of people started coming in the front door.  

To give you an idea on how much we used to frequent that place?  A regular that we used to talk to EVERY time we went in there was sitting at the bar when we walked in.  It took him a little while, but he remembered us.  He came over and we made our greetings, and he spent the next couple of hours reminiscing, singing, and dancing.  

I haven't laughed that hard in such a long time.  Or had so much fun.

Sanity and I have decided that we are not going to wait so long to do it again.  There's absolutely no reason why we can't make it a once every other month deal.  So, we've already got plans in the making for another excursion before we head back to school.  If I have my way, we'll actually do it a couple of times before we go back to school...but we'll see how that goes.

Last night helped me realize that I just have to take some time for myself every once in a while.  I can go out with a good friend, have a good time, and it's OK.  I don't have to feel guilty or worry that I'm doing something without the rest of the family.  

And that's exactly what I'm going to do... every now and then.

Today though, I'm off to the water park with the kiddos and P-Momma.  A day with the family is JUST what I need.  

Have a great Sunday, everyone!!

It's National Best Friend Day!!

                                      

I often get quite tickled by the "National" days that spring up on my Facebook feed.  Every single day of the year has some kind of special meaning, according to Nationalholidaycalendar.com.

Friday was National Donut Day.  And you can bet your bottom dollar that I drove the kids and myself to Krispy Kreme to take advantage of choosing ANY donut for FREE.  Peanut and I went for a traditional raspberry filled glazed, Butter tried one of their new Brownie Batter donuts, and Jelly went for her usual colorful, sprinkled ring donut.  Not a bad day to celebrate.  Thank you, Krispy Kreme, for being a good sport and indulging the good people of Northwest Arkansas by not taking a single penny for your glorious creations.

But, did you also know that Friday was National Gardening Exercise Day, National Yo-Yo Day, National Drive-In Movie Day, or National Applesauce Cake Day?  NO?? Good heavens, why not? 

Probably, because you're a normal person, like me, and have no idea about these crazy "holidays" unless someone posts it on your Facebook feed and you decide to do a little digging to find out if that's actually true, or just someone trying to start a new trend.

Yesterday was National Chocolate Ice Cream Day (do Snickers Ice-Cream bars count?), National Trails Day, and National VCR Day.  Seriously? Where do they come up with this stuff.  Does anyone even own a VCR anymore?

And how do you celebrate something like that?  Buy the VCR a brand new, never opened, "vintage" video tape for it to chew up?

While most of the days are completely hysterical and go by without me giving them the slightest bit of thought, today's Facebook National Day reminder caught my attention.  

Today is National Best Friends Day.  

It's also National Upsy Daisy Day (what the heck is that?) and National Name Your Poison Day... really?  Well, if you're curious, according to the website National Upsy Daisy Day is supposed to promote people to get up and go "gloriously, gratefully, and gleefully".  Urm.  OK.  This fat girl gets up every day as gloriously, gratefully, and gleefully as she can possibly muster.  Sometimes it's quite comical to see me roll out of bed.  Other days, it would be best to pretend you never saw it.  And be thankful you are saved from that sight each day.  Seriously.  Be thankful.  

National Name Your Poison Day relates to "naming your poison" when it comes to picking a drink in a bar... OK, now I'm interested.  But, the actual meaning is to celebrate making a decision or a choice.  I'm going to celebrate making the decision to not celebrate some of these cockamamy holidays.  How about that?

Except, today, I am willing to take...no scratch that, I need to take some of my time today to celebrate National Best Friends Day by giving a little shout-out to the people I consider my very best friends.

Up until a few years ago, I really didn't have a best friend.  In fact, I hadn't really had a "best friend" since high school.  My definition of a best friend was someone I spent all of my spare time with, talked to constantly on the phone, knew every intimate detail of their lives and they knowing mine.  And I didn't have that.  Nobody filled that spot.  Sure, I had friends and acquaintances, but they were really just co-workers.  People I spent time with because we were forced together because we worked together.  That's it really.  

But then, I started my last two years of college.

If you've been around these parts, reading my blog for some time, you all should recognize and know Sanity and Hope (the two pictured with me above and the middle picture on the bottom). They have been my best friends since my sophomore year of college.  We became fast friends after being put together to work on a group project.  We realized we enjoyed each others' company, and our group work then turned in to dedicating one day a week to "hang out and destress" from the toll of college work.  That then led to us spending weekends together, doing "college student" like activities like going to nightclubs, singing karaoke, and just having an absolute blast with each other.  In fact, I would go out on a limb that I spent WAY more time with Sanity and Hope than I did with my family, those last two years.  

Shortly after we graduated, I was given a framed picture of the three of us in our caps and gowns.  That picture sits happily and proudly on my desk at school.  I look at those girls every single day and think about how much we went through, how we supported each other, and how I probably would have never made it through without them.  

Since graduation, our time together has been interrupted with stuff like having to work.  Which sucks, big time.  All three of us work, have families and other friends, and don't get to see each other near as much as I'ld like.  

In fact, Hope just gave birth to a stunningly beautiful little guy.  He was born premature, and has been fighting a tough battle, but he's pulling through like a champ.  It breaks my heart that I have yet to go and see her, see him, see them both.  But, because it's been so long since Hope and I saw each other, I figure it best to give her space with her closest family and friends, and then I'll make it over to see her in a few weeks when her little bundle of miracle has completely pulled through and up for more visitors.  

Sanity is doing what she does, and I keep up with as much as I can through Facebook.  I did enjoy a well overdue chat with her, yesterday.  We're both determined to spend some quality time together this summer.  That's happening.  I'm not going through an entire summer without being with her at least some of it.  I don't think I'll have too much trouble convincing her to come spend some time with me, in my pool.  HA!!

Then there's E.  She's the newest of my "best friends".  Our friendship has just developed over the course of this school year.  When I was going through a really rough time, she was there to listen.  We hadn't been close, really, before that... but I somehow felt cosmically called to her to lean on.  She was a ray of fresh air on a very tough and thick raincloud that was hanging over my head, and I will always love her for that.  And since then, I've had no trouble going to her when I need to be told not just what I want to hear, but what I need to hear.  In my opinion, that's the definition of a true friend... someone that will be honest with you, doesn't sugar coat, but always does it reinforcing the fact that she's doing it because she cares.  I don't know how many nights we've spent texting each other through our certain situations.  I don't get to spend near as much time with her outside of work as I'd like, either, but again... I have plans to make that happen this summer.  She hasn't been informed of these "plans" yet.. but I know she reads this, so... SURPRISE!! We're hanging out this summer as much as possible, FYI.  :)

And then last, but definitely not least, there's P-Momma.  Best friend isn't exactly the right title for her.. she's like a mother to me.  She has been and always will be a grandmother to my children.  That woman has gone above and beyond to make us a part of her family, and I know she's always a phone call or a short drive away.  She calls me or texts me several times a week just to see how I'm doing, opens up her home to my crazy crew for get-togethers or just when I'm in serious need of some P-Momma time, and has always made me feel like I'm a daughter to her.  I can and do tell her EVERYTHING that's going on in my life.  She gives me motherly advice, best-friend advice, and just plain ol' lets sit down and chat time. I will always love her and she is a very important person in my life.  

I have learned over the course of the past couple of years that I am blessed with many friends.  The people I work with are more than co-workers.  We know about each others' families and special events and general stuff that's happening in each others' lives.  So, I definitely can't complain about how happy I am for having such amazing people in my life.

But, there are always those select few that you know you have a special bond with.  The feeling doesn't necessarily have to be mutual.  Meaning, I might consider these ladies my absolute best friends, but they have different people they place in that category.  And that's perfectly fine.  Just knowing that I was picked to be a part of their lives is a great honor, and one that I don't take lightly.  

Each of them, in their own way, have had a hand in shaping, molding, and guiding me through these later years of my life.  The good, the bad, the crazy, and the exciting.  When I think of the really big moments that have happened these past several years, at least one of them are a part of it.  They are all apart of one or the other.  

I can never, truly repay them for the kindness, support, love, and honesty that they've each bestowed on me.  But, just knowing that I care for them, appreciate them, and honor them on this day is my small token of showing them what they mean to me.

So, Sanity, Hope, E, and P-Momma, THANKY YOU for being the best friends this girl could ask for.

I love you all!!

HAPPY NATIONAL BEST FRIEND DAY!!

Oh, and don't forget to enjoy National Upsy Daisy Day, and Pick Your Poison Day... cause, you know.. I suppose there's someway you can get up "gracefully" or make some form of decision.

Forget Retail Therapy... Laughter Therapy is BETTER!!

                                              

Yesterday morning, E told me that she was going shopping for some new clothes.  Being that I'm trying to get myself out there more, I did that thing where I just invited myself to tag along and gave her the whole "if you want some company, that is" way of asking.  You know the one, where people are more or less forced to accept, because they don't want to hurt your feelings.

Under normal circumstances, I would NEVER just invite myself along.  I throw hints out that I'd be up for doing whatever people around me are planning, but then I wait to see if I get invited.  If I do, great.  If I don't, no biggie.  

But yesterday, I was itching to get out of the house for some alone time, and I honestly couldn't think of a better way to do it than to get in some retail therapy with the person that has become my emotional sponge.  Seriously.  I've pretty much told her EVERYTHING, and she's one of the few people I truly trust with my problems and issues.  Plus, I also knew that had she not wanted me to go, she probably wouldn't have thrown it out there that she was going in the first place.  HA!

Trust is something I hold on to at arm's length.  Being that I am a pretty trusting person, I can open up to just about anybody about minor situations and issues that plague me.  I can open up and tell people what's bothering me.  But, I never truly go "all out".  I never give my all.  I may skim the surface of certain issues and problems, but I keep the parts that are REALLY bothering me or I consider to be REALLY personal to myself.  And the reason I do that, is because I don't want to be judged.  I don't want people to be shocked when they learn something about me that isn't of the norm.  I don't want people taking information about me and it altering the way they perceive me.  And, even though I am pretty sure that most of the people in my life that I trust aren't like that, sometimes it just can't be helped.

I, for one, know that I am an extremely NON-JUDGMENTAL person.  I don't judge a person based on their past, or present issues.  I like to think of myself as a person someone could talk to in times of crisis and it have no bearing on my friendship with that person.  But, say for example, someone who has spent time with my kids opens up and tells me they have a drinking problem or a drug problem... am I going to be OK with my kids going off and spending time alone with that person?  No.  I will still be a friend, I will still support and try and help.. but my mind has already made the decision that my kids could be in danger if they spent time with that person.  Or, say for another example, I find out that one of my students has a problem with stealing.  They may swear to me that they would never steal from me, but in the back of my mind I will always wonder when something goes missing, and I'm far less likely to leave that student alone with my personal items.

Those are only examples... but points I'm trying to make about how sometimes judgement is cast and relationships become changed without the initial intention.

And, really, I am pretty open about mistakes that I have made, but being a mother, daughter, fiancé, a sister, an aunt, and a friend... I carry around information and mistakes of those close to me, that even affect me, that I'm not at liberty to divulge to the people I would normally talk to.   

For everyone, except E.  There's just something about that woman that makes me feel like no matter WHAT I tell her, her perceptions of me won't change, it won't alter our friendship, and she will be front and center in offering up her opinion and helping me make sense of what's happening and why it's happening.  

And I truly believe that if I hadn't had her this past week, I'd have been a heaping pile of emotional crazy by now.  I'd be curled up in the fetal position, rocking back and forth, tears streaming uncontrollably from my eyes, and just not ever wanting to leave that position.

So, going back to inviting myself to tag along... I did that completely knowing that she wouldn't mind.

We set up a time to meet, and out the door I went.

We met up and left my car so that we could drive around and do some shopping together.  From the minute I got in the car, my mouth was running 500mph filling her in with the latest developments in my crisis.  She listened, and then gave me her thoughts and opinions.  And then, that was the last I spoke of it... every conversation we had after that was filled with the one thing that I truly needed to get over the last of my funk.... LAUGHTER.

I haven't laughed that hard or that much in FOREVER.  I could actually feel my muscles relaxing and the stress lifting off of my shoulders. 

We laughed at ourselves.  We laughed at our problems.  We laughed at our pasts.  We laughed about the similarities in our family dynamics.  

And the funniest part of the whole thing?  The whole "retail therapy" was pretty much non-existent.  After the first store we visited, we both agreed that neither of us was a big fan of shopping... so we stopped shopping.  We drove around for a while.  We found a cute little restaurant, and then we sat, ate, talked, and LAUGHED for hours.  

In the six hours we were together, we shopped for about an hour.  The rest of the time we were driving or sitting in that restaurant.  And, I will honestly say, I'd take six hours of doing that ANYTIME over six hours of shopping.

What I learned from the whole experience is that there really are people in this world that can sit and listen to just about ANYTHING and form absolutely NO judgement.  Not just that, but can hear a problem and then somehow offer up their own version of a similar situation.  It seemed like no matter what we talked about, yesterday, the other had been through or somehow experienced a similar problem.  We have so much more in common than I ever imagined.  She learned a lot about me, I learned a lot about her.  And both of us walked away still laughing, not a inkling of doubt or worry attached to what we now knew.  

Friendships like that do NOT happen very often.  At least not for me.  

I am the person that puts myself out there, waiting for someone to take me in, and then walking away alone.  I am someone that can feel "friendly" with lots of people, but when the going gets tough just can't think of many friends to reach out to in order to seek guidance.  

But, this week, dealing with one of the hardest situations I've ever been through, not one minute did I feel like I was alone.  I always knew, no matter what time of day or night, that there was someone I could call, reach out to.  And that was E.  

We both believe that there was a purpose for us being brought together.  I needed a person to help me pass the emotional tests that are being bestowed on me.  Her tests are in the shape of helping me through my problems.  

It's also nice to know that while dealing with (and passing) the tests that we are facing... a friendship can blossom from it all.  

The truly funniest part about it all, though, is that in her mind she's not doing anything special.  She's just being an ear and a shoulder for me to vent to, and a voice to help me see reason.  When I try to shower her with thanks (and after she reads this post), she'll brush it off like it's no big deal.  It's what she does, and what she's good at.  It's her being her.

But, it IS a big deal.  To me.  One of the biggest.  

She has helped me understand that NO situation is always as bad as we think it is.  She has helped me understand that pretty much ALL problems can be resolved by talking them out and thinking through them.  And most of all, she has helped me understand that laughter really is the best medicine and therapy there is.

I Believe in Angels

                             

Angel (noun): (1) A spiritual being appearing in human form to offer guidance and to "watch over" the living beings of earth.  (2) Someone with high virtue or conduct.  (3) A messenger of God, often appearing with wings and bright light.  

Have you ever met an angel?  

I'm not talking about the word used to describe someone that appears to be helpful, or loving, or amazingly kind.  I'm not talking about those people.  

I'm talking about REAL angels.  Someone who you know that doesn't appear to be completely human, to have some kind of special powers, and that you know was sent to you for a reason.  A purpose.  To spread light and goodness around you, and surround you with a warming presence that calms the soul.  Helps you see the light in dark situations.  Helps you find good in the bad.  Helps you understand deeper meaning to life, and to give meaning to tough situations.  There to guide you, when no one else seems to understand.

Some may scoff at the mere thought.  There's no such thing.  Or, if there is, they only live in Heaven.  They are not walking the earth.

But, scoff away.

Because I know angels are real.  I've known of some... even met a couple.

Monday morning, an angel finished up her work here on earth and left.  She had no wings while in her earthly state.  No halo hung around her head.  But, the light, and goodness, and love that she emitted and encouraged was apparent and obvious to anyone that met her.  She spoke no words.  She was unable to communicate with earthly humans.  But, everyone that knew her or the people that she lived with, heard her message, felt her warmth, and was inspired by just being in her presence.

And her name was Kenadee.

                               

I first had the pleasure of meeting this beautiful angel two years ago, when I got a job working as a teacher's aide in the school where her mom worked.  From the first time I saw a picture of her, I felt a warmth to my heart.  Not out of pity or sadness.. but actual warmth associated with love.  The light she emitted was apparent and bright from her mother and father.  Her mom was a very good friend of mine.  She took care of me when I felt like an outsider.  She took me in and guided me through the obstacles and challenges that I faced.  And it was only fitting that such a loving, friendly, cheerful woman would have an angel as a daughter.

The first time I got to meet Kenadee was shortly after I started working with her mother.  Kenadee was in the hospital, and I just felt this calling to go and see her.  I'm not a fan of hospitals.  And to go visit the child of someone I had only known for a short time felt a little weird, but I couldn't shake the extremely strong desire or need to go and see Kennadee.  To meet her.  

And I remember seeing the most adorable, truly beautiful baby laying in her crib.  The tubes and machines had absolutely no effect on the light and warmth being emitted from her.  It was like walking in to a bubble full of love, walking in to that room.  You could just feel it.  It was like tiny sparks that appear from static electricity.

Over the course of the year working in that school, I had a few opportunities to spend time with Kenadee.  She would come and visit her mom at work, escorted by her dad.  The kids in the school just LOVED being around her.  There was no discomfort that came from the kids seeing a child that looked different than they did.  They weren't affected by Kenadee's inability to speak to them or play with them.  But, they say that kids have a sixth sense when it comes to unworldly beings, right?  Those kids were able to understand that Kenadee wasn't just a child with an illness, she was in fact an angel that was here on earth to spread love, light, and goodness to all those that knew her.

Even though I only had the pleasure of knowing Kenadee a very short time, I heard many stories about her birth, and the two years that had led up to the time I got to meet her.  Her mom talked about her all of the time.  Her mom's whole face lit up at the mere mention of her name.  You could see the love in her eyes sharing Kenadee's stories. 

From very early on, Kenadee's mom knew that she was not going to watch Kenadee graduate from high school, go off to college, and have kids of her own.  Most parents make that the missions for their children.  They want to watch them grow up and become good, responsible adults.  But, it was different for Kenadee.  Even though she wasn't going to get to do those "normal" things, her parents were able to think of each day with Kenadee as a true blessing.  For all the things they were able to do together.  For the time they were able to spend together.  It wasn't about thinking about the future, it was about living in the here and now.  Another blessing that most people don't understand.

I know that Kenadee helped me understand the importance of living life in the moment.  To not worry too much about the future.  To enjoy the time we all have together right now.  Because the future will come in due time, but we don't want to move forward with the regrets of what could have or should have been.  Making each moment count.  To be thankful for all the good in our lives, and to embrace the love and kindness of others.  She taught me so much about getting to know people for what's in the inside.  The outside may reflect a certain image, but what is on the inside is what counts the most. And a person doesn't have to say a single word in order to communicate strong and powerful messages.

That was Kenadee.  That IS Kenadee.

Her time on this earth ended on Monday morning.

While her departure has left sadness in the hearts to all those that knew her or knew of her, I know that she simply completed the tasks she was sent here to do.  She spread the messages she needed to spread.  She impacted the lives she needed to impact.  

And even though her earthly body has finished its job, her angelic presence will live on in the hearts of all that had the true blessing to meet her, and with those that heard about her courageous and amazing stories.  

To Lacie and Dennis:  May you find comfort during this difficult time.  May you know the wonderful and powerful things your sweet, angel of a daughter was able to do for all those that knew her and knew of her.  Know that Kenadee has left a forever remaining footprint on this earth that will continue on.  She touched, inspired, and blessed so many people.  You both touched, inspired, and blessed so many people by giving us the opportunity to learn her story, meet her, and share in her goodness.

For that, I thank you.

While Kenadee's time on earth was short, she accomplished more and did more for others than some could ever accomplish in a thousand lifetimes.  

I send love, thoughts, and hugs to you.  Know that I am thinking of you all.  I am truly blessed that I was able to meet Kenadee and have a small taste of the absolute joy that she was able to bestow on those that met her.

I believe in angels.  Because I met one.  Her name IS Kenadee.

Day Nineteen: Thankful for My Besties... Sanity & Hope

                         

You have no idea how much I am in love with my new collage maker on my iPhone.  These cute photos I've been posting the past few days are all thanks to InstaCollage.  Maybe I should dedicate a day just to that app... because I sure have been thankful for it, lately.

Those beautiful women posted with me in those photos are Sanity and Hope.  My two best friends.  The bestest of friends.  I have a lot of people I consider to be friends, but these two gals are the true meaning of the word, and I never doubt or wonder about whether or not they really like me.

These two ladies made me completely forget the term "three's a crowd" because if one of us is missing, it's just not right.  Not the same.  We all have to be together.  And when we are?  Well, there's just no stopping us... we can sit and talk for hours....and hours....and hours.

We first met in college.  Our junior year of college.  I had a couple of classes with them, and when we were put together for a group assignment, we just hit it off.  We started to meet to work on our project, and began talking, and laughing, and then arranging time to meet outside of school.  The rest is history.  We spent the majority of our junior and senior year hanging out a couple evenings a week and  the weekends together.  I am absolutely positive that I wouldn't have been able to bear near as much as I did had it not been for them.

In college, I knew there were people that didn't care for me.  They either tolerated me or downright ignored me.  There was polite and professional conversation in the event that I was put working with those people in groups, but I knew that some people weren't very happy if they were stuck being in my group.  And there were those that seemed to like me, were very friendly to me, that I could laugh and joke around with during class, but those people and I weren't "friends", we just got along.

I'm not a stupid person.  I know that I am overbearing, loud, opinionated, hard headed, and yes...can even come off as a bit of a know-it-all.  I am who I am.  I wasn't always that way.  Certain events in my life caused me to recluse, doubt everything about myself, made me weak and timid.  It took a very long time to get rid of that person and find my strong, independent self again.  And once I had her back, there was no losing her again...regardless of the cost to how others perceived me.

But, Sanity and Hope were the two people that were able to see through my "rough edges" and took the time to get to know the fun, loyal, kind, and loving person that I carry around on the inside.  They invested the time to learn about some of my history, some of the reasons I act the way I do, and were able to build a connection with me.  

There is something about those two women that truly bring out the best in me.  When we are together, I laugh more than I've ever laughed, I can open up about myself, I can tell them anything and never worry about judgement.  I can totally be myself.  They honestly couldn't give a rat's behind about what anyone else thinks of me, they like me just the way I am.

Knowing myself the way that I do causes me to crave friendship.  I try WAY too hard to impress people and to make them like me.  I do really try to put myself out there, sometimes, only to feel the cold, hard hands of rejection.  I work with people that, I know if they actually got to know me a little better, would make amazingly close friends.  That I have a lot in common with some of the people I work with, yet my insecurities and my over zealousness tends to push them away...and I walk away thinking that they'd rather shove a screwdriver under their fingernails than spend any time with me outside of school.

Sanity and Hope have NEVER made me feel that way.  

Even in the beginning, when I was in my "don't blow this, and just be yourself without looking like a desperate idiot" stage, they accepted me for who I am and just rolled with the punches.  I've told them stuff about me that not even my closest family members know about me.  Because I trust them.  Because I feel safe enough to do so. 

There's no doubt in my mind that when I do finally decide to tie the knot with Hubby, I will have two maids of honor.  The two women that have done so much for me, right by my side.  

Since all three of us have found our teaching jobs, we don't get to see each other as near as much as I'd like.  We are all very busy with our jobs and our families.  We try and make time to see each other during school breaks and holidays, though.  Regardless of how long it is between the times we get together, we can pick up right where we left off the last time....and spend the rest of the time catching up on the new stuff.  

The last time I saw them was towards the end of summer break.  Both of them came over to see my new house.  We spent an entire afternoon sitting on my patio talking and laughing and reminising.  We shared stories about our classrooms.  We talked about the teaching methods we were using.  We discussed our families and life outside of the classroom.  And four hours flew by as if it'd only been a few minutes.  

Plans are now in the works for us to get together for our annual Christmas break girls' day.  The day we get together during Christmas break.  Last year, we met at a coffee shop.  The intent was for us to have lunch together before I hit the streets to do my Christmas shopping.  What ended up happening was us sitting in that coffee shop from lunch time to dinner time.  Shopping was the last thing on my mind once we got together, and we spent an entire afternoon just doing our catch-up thing.

I am so excited to see them again.  I miss them so much when we aren't in close contact.  Weeks, and even months go by before I realize that I haven't spoken to either of them...yet, I know that no matter how much time passes, we'll see each other eventually and everything will be OK with the world.

So, today I am so thankful that I was blessed to find two women that took the time to get to know me. That have been there with me through the good times and the bad.  That no matter how crazy, busy my life may be...I will always be willing to drop everything if either one of them needed me.  And I know they'd do the same for me.  

True friendship is very hard to find.  For me, anyways.  And for everyday that I have these women in my life, I am truly thankful.