Monday, November 18, 2013

Day Nineteen: Thankful for My Besties... Sanity & Hope


You have no idea how much I am in love with my new collage maker on my iPhone.  These cute photos I've been posting the past few days are all thanks to InstaCollage.  Maybe I should dedicate a day just to that app... because I sure have been thankful for it, lately.

Those beautiful women posted with me in those photos are Sanity and Hope.  My two best friends.  The bestest of friends.  I have a lot of people I consider to be friends, but these two gals are the true meaning of the word, and I never doubt or wonder about whether or not they really like me.

These two ladies made me completely forget the term "three's a crowd" because if one of us is missing, it's just not right.  Not the same.  We all have to be together.  And when we are?  Well, there's just no stopping us... we can sit and talk for hours....and hours....and hours.

We first met in college.  Our junior year of college.  I had a couple of classes with them, and when we were put together for a group assignment, we just hit it off.  We started to meet to work on our project, and began talking, and laughing, and then arranging time to meet outside of school.  The rest is history.  We spent the majority of our junior and senior year hanging out a couple evenings a week and  the weekends together.  I am absolutely positive that I wouldn't have been able to bear near as much as I did had it not been for them.

In college, I knew there were people that didn't care for me.  They either tolerated me or downright ignored me.  There was polite and professional conversation in the event that I was put working with those people in groups, but I knew that some people weren't very happy if they were stuck being in my group.  And there were those that seemed to like me, were very friendly to me, that I could laugh and joke around with during class, but those people and I weren't "friends", we just got along.

I'm not a stupid person.  I know that I am overbearing, loud, opinionated, hard headed, and yes...can even come off as a bit of a know-it-all.  I am who I am.  I wasn't always that way.  Certain events in my life caused me to recluse, doubt everything about myself, made me weak and timid.  It took a very long time to get rid of that person and find my strong, independent self again.  And once I had her back, there was no losing her again...regardless of the cost to how others perceived me.

But, Sanity and Hope were the two people that were able to see through my "rough edges" and took the time to get to know the fun, loyal, kind, and loving person that I carry around on the inside.  They invested the time to learn about some of my history, some of the reasons I act the way I do, and were able to build a connection with me.  

There is something about those two women that truly bring out the best in me.  When we are together, I laugh more than I've ever laughed, I can open up about myself, I can tell them anything and never worry about judgement.  I can totally be myself.  They honestly couldn't give a rat's behind about what anyone else thinks of me, they like me just the way I am.

Knowing myself the way that I do causes me to crave friendship.  I try WAY too hard to impress people and to make them like me.  I do really try to put myself out there, sometimes, only to feel the cold, hard hands of rejection.  I work with people that, I know if they actually got to know me a little better, would make amazingly close friends.  That I have a lot in common with some of the people I work with, yet my insecurities and my over zealousness tends to push them away...and I walk away thinking that they'd rather shove a screwdriver under their fingernails than spend any time with me outside of school.

Sanity and Hope have NEVER made me feel that way.  

Even in the beginning, when I was in my "don't blow this, and just be yourself without looking like a desperate idiot" stage, they accepted me for who I am and just rolled with the punches.  I've told them stuff about me that not even my closest family members know about me.  Because I trust them.  Because I feel safe enough to do so. 

There's no doubt in my mind that when I do finally decide to tie the knot with Hubby, I will have two maids of honor.  The two women that have done so much for me, right by my side.  

Since all three of us have found our teaching jobs, we don't get to see each other as near as much as I'd like.  We are all very busy with our jobs and our families.  We try and make time to see each other during school breaks and holidays, though.  Regardless of how long it is between the times we get together, we can pick up right where we left off the last time....and spend the rest of the time catching up on the new stuff.  

The last time I saw them was towards the end of summer break.  Both of them came over to see my new house.  We spent an entire afternoon sitting on my patio talking and laughing and reminising.  We shared stories about our classrooms.  We talked about the teaching methods we were using.  We discussed our families and life outside of the classroom.  And four hours flew by as if it'd only been a few minutes.  

Plans are now in the works for us to get together for our annual Christmas break girls' day.  The day we get together during Christmas break.  Last year, we met at a coffee shop.  The intent was for us to have lunch together before I hit the streets to do my Christmas shopping.  What ended up happening was us sitting in that coffee shop from lunch time to dinner time.  Shopping was the last thing on my mind once we got together, and we spent an entire afternoon just doing our catch-up thing.

I am so excited to see them again.  I miss them so much when we aren't in close contact.  Weeks, and even months go by before I realize that I haven't spoken to either of them...yet, I know that no matter how much time passes, we'll see each other eventually and everything will be OK with the world.

So, today I am so thankful that I was blessed to find two women that took the time to get to know me. That have been there with me through the good times and the bad.  That no matter how crazy, busy my life may be...I will always be willing to drop everything if either one of them needed me.  And I know they'd do the same for me.  

True friendship is very hard to find.  For me, anyways.  And for everyday that I have these women in my life, I am truly thankful.


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