That's Just Too Much Crying For One Movie

                                                        

(Don't worry, there will be no spoilers given during this blog.  So if you haven't read/seen The Fault in Our Stars, you're OK to read this.)

A few weeks ago, I hadn't even heard of this book.  I know, the 4th grade teacher who LOVES YA literature hadn't heard of the New York bestselling novel.  But, I hadn't.  Not until Peanut came home from school one day and INSISTED that I take her to see the movie that had just been released in the theater.  

She told me how she'd read the book, and just HAD to see the movie.  HAD TO.  

Being the awesome mom that I am, I agreed...on one condition: I read the book first.  Which isn't a new condition in my house.  Any time there's a movie made from a book, I read the book first.  Some people disagree with my mentality.  They think it best to see the movie first and then read the book to see how much better it is, but I work oppositely to that.  Let me read the book, see how wonderful it is, and then pick apart the movie and the differences that way.

Peanut and I have come to embrace our reading then movie seeing experience.  We read and saw all of the "Harry Potter" books/movies (in which Peanut is STILL obsessed with) and then the Twilight books/movies.  We've read all of The Hunger Games books, saw the first two movies, and we're both excited for the last two movies to come out (they're making the last book in to two movies).  I'm still in the process of reading the Divergent series, but I couldn't get Peanut in to that one.

I digress.

Anywho, with summer school and softball and baseball still going full force when the movie was released, I didn't get to read the book as quickly as I wanted to.  In fact, the library just called me last Monday to tell me that they had it available.  I would have read it when I picked it up, but Peanut wanted to read it again, first.  And she had more time for that kind of stuff.  So, I got the book back on Friday.  I read the book in about 5 hours.  I read for a couple of hours Friday night, and finished it off Saturday morning.

The book was good.  Devastatingly emotionally so.  All I could think while reading each page was why on earth anyone would want to see this book play out in real life.  No spoilers, but the book is HEARTBREAKING.  There are few books that have brought me to tears while reading them, but this one got me a couple of times.

But, I wasn't about to go back on my word about seeing the movie, so yesterday afternoon Peanut and I took off to the theater to watch The Fault in Our Stars.  

Now, I'm no newb when it comes to crying at sad movies.  I still, after watching some movies for the umpteenth time, shed a few tears.

Every time Rose tells Jack that she'll "never let go" in Titanic.

Every time a translucent Patrick Swayze appears to Demi More in Ghost. 

Every time Angel dies and MiMi almost dies in Rent.

The floodgates open, and the tears start to flow.  But, with each of these movies, I start crying about 10 minutes before the end of the movie.  And that's it.  Done.  Movie over.

I have NEVER watched a two hour movie where I started crying about 40 minutes in, and bawled my head off until the movie was over.  Never.  Until yesterday.  And, I'm not talking about those little lumps that appear in your throat and cause a few tears to run down your cheek kind of cries that I'm familiar with when watching sad movies.  I'm talking full out, can't breath because I'm trying so hard to hold back the sobs so that no one in the theater is disturbed by my bawling kind of tears.  

My body was shaking.  The lump in my throat was so big it was causing me pain.  And the tears were rolling down my cheek so fast, that the five napkins I went through could have been rung out and my tears collected to fill up a small container.  

And even though I was doing everything in my power to stifle my sobs, I could hear the same throughout the theater.  Wet sniffles, gasped sobs, and shielded whimpers coming from all around me. 

I even saw the one of two guys that sat two rows in front of me wipe his eyes SEVERAL times.

By the time the movie was over, my throat hurt, my eyes were swollen, and I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and stomped on several times.  Something I've never experienced while watching a movie.  That's because most movies, despite how sad they can be, end up with a warm and fuzzy happy ending.  But, well, this one doesn't.  Hopefully that's not considered a spoiler.  But, really... no happy ending to make all those tears and ripped emotions feel any relief.  

However, it was good.  I enjoyed it, as much as I could with the whole story line.  Of course, the movie wasn't near as good as the book... but it was close.  

After seeing a good movie, I usually rave about how EVERYONE should go see it.  But, with this one?  I'm not so sure I should give that suggestion.  If you like sappy love stories, but are OK with getting your own heart broken...then go see it.  This is NOT a movie I would drag my husband/ boyfriend/ significant other to go see in order to get the romance blooming... unless you want to spend the rest of the night explaining that he's not any less of a man because he cried so hard over a movie.  This is NOT a movie I would go see with a bunch of girlfriends who are out for a good time or a night on the town...unless you want to spend the rest of the night crying in to your drinks about how unfair life can be.  This is NOT a movie I would take a child to that isn't familiar with the way cancer works... unless you want to spend your car ride home explaining cancer and the effects it can have on the body.  

In fact, just go see the movie alone if you're interested in seeing it.  Do that.  Then at least you can watch the movie, sit in your car and collect yourself, and drive home and tell everyone it was a good movie while keeping the secret of how your popcorn got so covered in tears, that it turned in to liquid right there in the bucket.  

Taking your teenage daughter who's already read the book and is fully prepared for what's going to happen is fine.  As long as you're willing to hold her hand not to provide her with support, but for your own support for keeping it together.  

All in all, I'd say the movie was horribly good.  Yes.  That's the way I'd say it.  The story is amazing.  The characters are amazing.  The two combined?  Absolute havoc on your emotions.  

But, I will say the message I took away is one that I will cherish:  Live life for TODAY.  You never know how long you have with the ones you love...so make each moment count.

Cliche? Yes.  But, still the absolute TRUTH!

Have a great Monday, everyone!!

Being Stuck in Teen Drama

Don't worry, this isn't another deep blog post that shares the inner secrets of some crazy drama that I'm messed up in or even know about.  Nobody else close to me is dealing from some tough issues that need to be addressed, and my own teenager is doing just fine.

No.

This is about teen drama that I've been sucked in to...and just can't walk away from on a whole other level.

A few weeks ago, Hubby and I went out with the kids to find Peanut a new TV for her room.  When I say new TV, I mean a used TV from a thrift shop because with Christmas fast approaching we didn't want to spend a couple of hundred dollars on a TV.  We just wanted something that would do her for now.  Being that all of my kids now have their own rooms, Peanut didn't have a TV in her room because she so graciously let Jelly have hers.

So, TV hunt.  We went to Goodwill and found a great TV for $5.  That's what I'm talking about.  Five dollars for a 32" TV is right up my alley.  But, I can't just walk in to a Goodwill store and leave it only having looked at one thing....no.  I have to look around.  Usually in the book section.

Which is where I discovered six books all from the same series.  Peanut had been wanting some new stuff to read, so I figured that it was a great deal to get all six books.  It would give her something to do for the rest of the summer.

Well, little did I know that there were actually 14 books in the series, plus two prequels.  And, the six I bought didn't include the very first book - which I did actually know when I bought the books.

I ordered the first one when we got home that day, and it arrived a few days later. 

Peanut jumped right in to reading them.  She was done with the first three books in two days.  I was intrigued.  That's a lot of reading for a teenager to do...even one that loves reading as much as Peanut does.  

So, I decided to start reading the first one.  Within a couple of hours, I was done with it.  I was hooked from the very first page...and just couldn't stop reading.  And then I went on the next book.  And the next day I was finished with that and went on to the next.  

In a matter of a week, Peanut was finished with all seven books and I was fast on her heels.  And I just had to order the rest of the collection, which I luckily found on eBay super cheap.

The series is The Private Series by Kate Brian.

It's really nothing special.  A normal teenage girl gets a scholarship to go to a fancy private school.  She meets the most popular girls there, and despite them being the spitting images of the girls portrayed in the Mean Girls movie, the normal girl wants to be friends with them.

It's the typical teen drama.  Mean and spoiled rich people.  Normal innocent girl from a troubled family. Normal girl wants to feel popular, and does what she can to fit in with them.  

But, then throw in some messed up secrets (like drugs and alcohol usage) and a little murder...and it somehow morphs in to a series that I can't put down.

Last night I finished book seven.  I stayed up way past my bedtime just so I could get it finished.  And now all I want to do is crack book eight.

How an author manages to write 14 books that take place over a three year timeline...and can keep her readers interested that long is beyond me.  But, she somehow managed to do it to me.

I've always loved reading teen literature.  Give me a Twilight book or a Harry Potter book or a Hunger Games book any day.  Apart from my curiosity over the hype of reading the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, I don't really get that in to adult novels.  I've read some... but I'd much rather spend my reading time lost in a teen fantasy novel over an adult murder mystery.  

Except for teen literature that is nothing but mean girls and innocent victims that rally together to knock their popular rivals off of their pedestals.  Those types of books I've never really cared for... simply because there's just so many of them.  They've been done over and over and over again.

However, for some reason, this series is different.  It's the longest I've ever gone reading a series about this topic AND still enjoying it.

I will say, though, that this series does hold a lot more scandal and drama than other books I've read along the same lines.  In fact, I wouldn't really be comfortable describing this book as "teen lit".  Even though the book is about high school kids, the topics and language are NOT suitable for kids.  Peanut is 13 and reads at a 12th grade level (that's the highest it goes up to), but I've cringed a few times during my reading and thought that I should have read the books first.  Not that I would of stopped her from reading them, because I'm pretty lenient with that kinda stuff... but at least I could have been prepared to warn her.  Mostly because of the sexual stuff that takes place in the book.  Nothing graphic.. but just the mention of teenagers that are having sex is something I should have screened for first.  I didn't expect it, honestly... but it's a little too late now, I guess.

This is why it is so important for teachers to read all of the books they put in their classroom libraries.  I have a few books like this series... minus the graphic language, drug references, murder, blackmail, and sex.  They are the typical, run of the mill, teen girl drama books.

Peanut has already read the first three books that arrived a few days ago.  She's now ready for book 10, but it hasn't arrived yet...so she's anxiously waiting.  She's even read a couple of the books over again just to bide her time until the next one gets here.  Craziness.

It's actually been quite nice to have something like these books to bond over.  Not that we have any trouble with bonding... it's just nice to be able to discuss a book series that we are both loving, and discuss those..you know..."awkward moments".  

Of course, now I only have a couple of days left before the crazy of work kicks in to full force.  It figures that I get in to reading this late in to the summer... but it's a lesson learned, I suppose.  Maybe it will spark something in me to actually start reading again all of the time.

The reason I'm so lenient with Peanut is because she's very much like me.  When I was her age, I always had a book in my hand.  I always loved reading.  My parents were OK with me reading pretty much whatever I wanted... because I was reading.  Period.  I could have been finding other things... less appropriate things... to fill my time.  Living in a teen fantasy world that came from book pages were much more up my parent's alley.  Peanut is free to read whatever she chooses, except for books that are basically book porn.  I draw the line at graphic, detailed sex.  There's just no reason she needs to be reading about stuff like that.  It's one thing to have sex mentioned, it's another when it's discussed in great detail.  

My love of reading has followed me in to my adult years.  There are times when I wish I could read more.  Even as a teacher who reads to her class every day.  That's what I want to instill in to all of my kids.  Reading is fun.  Reading is a vacation that requires no money, no packing, no movement even.  It can take you to magical places, or places you just dreamed about going.  

And regardless of what it is that I'm reading.  It's just good to be doing it again.

And that's it for me today.

Jo

Going to Try to "Savor" the Moment

Dear Diary...

Tuesday nights, I get on Twitter and keep up with the Twitter chat for Biggest Loser.  This week, while reading everyone's comments - I also moseyed on through my regular feed to see what's going on with everyone.

Twitter is one of those things that I just haven't been able to get in to like a lot of people have.  I get on there occasionally to see what everyone is up to.  But I'll admit, it's mostly become my go-to place to visit only when I want to catch up on what people are saying about the current week's episode of Biggest Loser.  Being that I consider myself pretty "social" when it comes to social networking - Twitter is just one bandwagon I haven't been able to climb aboard.  Although, anyone that is a friend on my personal Facebook account will also see that I haven't gotten on there much lately, either.

Anywho, this week I wasn't just following the BL chat I was also running through other status updates.

This week, I noticed a new chat taking place - a virtual book club.  I'm not sure if it was a new chat - probably not.  It's probably better for me to say that I noticed a chat taking place that I'd never noticed before.  I'd say about 90% of the people I follow on Twitter are people on a weight loss journey of some kind.  I follow them for a reason - to keep up with what they're doing and trying..and if any of it works.  I'm not sure why the virtual book club chat jumped out at me - but once I started reading a few messages, I just had to find out the source of the book and read everyone's comments.  So I did a little search and wala, I had the book club chat filtered.

The book they were discussing was Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Life by Thich Nhat Hanh and Dr. Lilian Cheung  The first is a Buddhist Zen Master and the latter a doctor who specializes in nutrition.  At first I thought it was a strange coupling - but after reading some of the comments about the book, I was intrigued.

Some of my long-time followers may remember a spat that took place a little over a year ago when I got very interested in balancing mind and body - after reading Eat, Pray, Love.  That was a time in my life where I rekindled my relationship with yoga and meditation and tried to explore my emotional eating triggers, etc.  For the time that I was focused on this Zen-like way of thinking, I was more aware of my surroundings, more aware how to release stress, and was definitely more aware of my emotional eating behaviors.

Getting back to what I was talking about - the next day, I went and bought Savor.  Just like that.  Without really doing much research or digging deeper into what the book was about.  I just read the comments that praised the messages the book had about connecting mind and body, using meditations, and having the tools to make mindful food choices and BAM I was in Barnes & Noble picking up my copy.

The book chat coincidentally took place the same night after hearing from my therapist that I have a lot of fixing to do with myself.  I figured what better way to start working on fixing myself than having a therapist, a Zen Master, and a doctor of nutrition giving me advice, right?

So, I've decided to take on Savor and give it a go.  I've been told it's a pretty dense read, but full of great information.  I've only made it through the first couple of pages of the introduction, but it's already speaking to me.  I've already read that the book isn't a dieting book or a lose weight fast book.  It's a book that teaches how to make mindful choices when it comes to food, and other aspects of life.

It's funny, but just a couple of days ago, I was on a wonderful blog (Day #1 Again - go check it out, it's fantastic!) and Jenn, the author, was explaining that she was going to be trying Yoga for the first time.  I left her a comment about how I loved yoga, and didn't know why I wasn't do it anymore.  She immediately followed up with a comment telling me I should be doing it if I really loved it that much - and she was right.  Then, practically the same day, I get all involved with finding this book and reading it and getting back in touch with my spiritual aspect to my weight loss journey.  I believe in signs, and I think that was definitely one.

I have always had this belief that weight loss isn't just physical - it's very mental.  When your mind is out of balance, your body will be also.  Yoga, as a practice not just an exercise, and meditation have always been two things I'm pretty good at - and have helped when I've used them.  So, I think it's time I rekindle my relationship with them both.  Again.  I've got to add more to my goals than just logging my food, keeping up with my calorie intake, and working out as often as I can.  I've got to add the part where I work on the struggles that make me mindlessly eat.  The things that stress me out - and cause me to mindlessly eat.  And letting go of failures from my past - that when I think about them, make me mindlessly eat.

I put myself in to a semi-meditative state while at the gym last night.  I got on the elliptical, and about 10 minutes in I was exhausted.  Not surprising.  I've only worked out once on the elliptical this year - and that was over a week ago.  I was pushing for 30 minutes, and I just didn't know if I was going to be able to do it.  So, I put my earplugs in, tuned in to the TV, and completely ignored what I was doing.  I just kept moving my legs and diverting my attention to the TV screen.  Before I knew it, my 30 minutes were up - and I was still alive.  It just goes to show what I can accomplish when I don't focus on the pain - and just push through it by occupying my mind with something else.

I'm not going to the gym tonight because I have to hurry home to get Peanut to my parent's house.  This weekend, though, I'm thinking some running and yoga may make an appearance.  Oh, and some reading - of course.

TGIF!!

Till next time. ;)