No news is good news, right? I mean, I haven't been blogging daily like I'm used to, and I genuinely believe it's because for the first time in SOOOOOO long, I am happy, content, and feel like a completely different person. My blog is my outlet to share my thoughts and feelings, and that basically meant a place to let out stress, sadness, or that melancholy place I was trapped in. But, now, things are so different. I feel different.
The sad part is, I have so much to write about, so much to share, but I have been doing that in my other place... my secret place... because, well, some things have to be left unsaid. But, what I can say is that the feeling of happiness I have right now can only be described as pure bliss. It's like all of my dreams are coming true over night, and I'm not the same person I was a week ago.
For the first time since moving in to my house, I feel at home. I feel comfortable and happy. There are so many changes that have taken place in the matter of a few days, it's unbelievable. Like I blogged about last time, the kids are totally different and I can feel the love radiating from the house. I'm in a whirlwind of emotions right now, but definitely not the emotions I thought I'd be dealing with. They are all extremely wonderful, happy emotions.
I'm currently sitting in a state of mind I've been dreaming about for a long time. That place where the sun always shines. The place where there is no sadness, no loneliness, and no upset. I've dreamed about this for many, many years, and thought that this place only existed in my dreams. But, it's real. It exists. I have been living it every day for the past five days. And, I'm sure I'm caught up in a little slice of heaven. I don't know how long the feelings will last, but each and every day they get stronger, better, and I feel like my world has gone from night to day. The emptiness is gone, the sadness is gone, and the worry is gone.
I know that not every day will be like this, but I also know that my future has a chance of being what I always wanted it to be. I have a chance to make this the best time of my life. I have the one thing that has been missing for so long, and now that I have it I never, EVER want to let it go. I am complete, we are complete. The kids and I have filled the hole that had been getting bigger by the second.
My house is no longer a house, it is our home. We are a family. There is love and happiness filling every inch. And this is just the beginning. I know in my heart that it's only going to keep getting better. Life is changing, we are changing, and all for the better. For so long, I thought I was destined to be the person that helped everyone else while I sat in the corner screaming for my own help. But, now I've finally gotten the one and only thing I've ever really wanted but could never have.
I don't know how often I'll be blogging, cause honestly it's really hard for me to write when I'm not experiencing some kind of pain. My writing was always fueled by some form of stress, and right now there isn't any. Which I don't think I've been able to say for...well... ever, really. Who doesn't have some kind of stress? And of course there's always some form of stress that's lurking around every corner, but I feel like I can pretty much take on the world at the moment.
So, that's pretty much all I've got to say right now.
Life is good... no it's great. And I'm looking forward to many, many more happy days ahead.