Wednesday, November 06, 2013

Day Six: So Thankful For My Blog


Last night, I came home from work, and was greeted by Hubby who had some news for me.  There is a leak somewhere under our house, again, and we don't have water.  


This is the second leak of its kind in the past few weeks.  Which means that this leak is either a brand new leak, or the new pipe that was installed from the last leak somehow broke or came free.

Either way, it sucks.  Big time.  Water is kinda a necessity.  It takes care of showering people after having a long day at work and school.  It takes care of washing dishes.  It takes care of cooking and brushing teeth and, very importantly:  My coffee!

It's amazing how much you miss something when you don't have it.  You start to feel dirty, even though it's been less than 24 hours since you last showered.  You start to crave things that require water in the preparation.  And you start to panic that there won't be any coffee.

Thankfully, Hubby took care of buying a few gallons of water to help us with the minor stuff...but it doesn't really help the shower situation.  The thought of not taking a shower before work gives me the heeby geebies, and we may just have to suck up wasting some water while I take a shower, because I just don't think I can get through the day knowing that I'm showerless.

But, thankfully, which is what these posts are supposed to be about....thankfulness...I can come right here and let out all of my frustration about the situation.  Because one thing I am very thankful to have in my life is my blog.

This little chunk of the internet that's carved out especially for me.

This is actually one of three blogs that I write.  I have this blog that I write daily.  I have a weight loss blog that started out here, then moved somewhere else once I gave up trying to lose weight and then decided to start trying again.  I don't post there very often, but at least once a week I get on there to check in with my weight and such.  And I also have a private blog that contains all the stuff I want to write about but wouldn't dare share with the rest of the world.  Not exactly deep, dark secrets, but stuff that plays on my mind that I just don't think is appropriate to tell everybody.

I don't write there very often, because for the most part I'm an open book and just someone that's OK sharing my life.  The good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between.

I started this blog in March of 2009, but it wasn't until May of 2010 that it became a part of my daily life.  For a little over a year, I dabbled with blogging.  I posted here and there.  Mostly about weight loss, at the time, but over the course of the year I discovered that this blog can be so much more than a place I just record information.

Writing has always been a passion of mine.  It has been a long lived dream that I would one day write a book.  About what, I don't know, but I've always said that I'd like to write a book.  If you think about it, it's kinda what I've been doing for the past three years.  Writing my own biography.  

I've often wondered how on earth I manage to come here almost every single day for three years straight and still find stuff to write about.  But, I do.  It's not always interesting.  It's not always funny or uplifting.  Sometimes, it can be downright boring.  Yet, I have to do it.  It's a part of my daily routine.  Without writing my blog each day, I feel lost.  It's how I prepare for my day, leaving all my past troubles on the table to start off new.

I've gone through different levels of reasons why I blog.  I went through a phase where my blog was just a record of my weight loss.  I went through a phase where I wanted my blog to be an outlet of support for other people trying to lose weight.  I went through wanting people to read my blog, for my blog to be "out there" in the blogging community.  Stuff like how many followers I had, where my blog listed on blogging lists, how many blog rolls my blog appeared on were things that were important to me.  I wrote for other people as well as myself.

But, I soon realized that I didn't really give a flying flip what other people thought.  If people were interested in my life and wanted to read what I had to say, great!  If not, then I was writing for the sake of writing.  Because I loved writing.  Because I was creating a life record, preserving memories, and releasing pent up stress that could only be released through my fingers.

I am truly and utterly convinced that my life would be a lot different, and would have been a lot more stressful if it wasn't for my blog.  It's my therapy, and a lot cheaper than telling all this stuff to a complete stranger for $150 an hour.  My way of dealing with stress is often with humor.  I like to find the funny in tough situations, even if I have to dig really deep.  Somehow, writing offers me that option.  I'm probably a lot less funny than I think I am, but I can often read back over some of my toughest blog posts and laugh a least crack a smile.  I realize that even when I thought I was in a dark place, I was able to make a few jokes out of it, put a funny twist on it.  And, if I'm able to do that, I realize that it can't be really all that bad.

So, today, when life has thrown yet another curve ball, another tough situation that has to be tackled, it helps me appreciate and be thankful for my blog.

How long I will keep it up, I don't know.  But after three years of faithful blogging, I have no desire to slow down.  I have no inclining to stop writing.  As long as I can get up and go about my day, there will be something to write about.  Some days are more interesting than others, but everything I write about has some me.

Thank you Blog!  For being a friend.  A counselor.  An outlet for my sometimes crazy, whacky thoughts.  A place I feel free of judgement.  Where I can pretty much say whatever I want.

And will continue saying whatever I want.  

Just not anymore today.


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