Sunday, July 20, 2014

What a Fantastic Time


This makes a change... a picture I actually like.  Peanut and I took this picture Saturday night, right before our dinner date with my old friend.  I didn't get to finish writing about it yesterday, but I'm gonna recap it all right now...

I was scared and nervous and excited.  But, I shouldn't have been scared or nervous because I had an absolutely WONDERFUL time.

It was almost like no time had passed at all.  After the first initial, awkward, "Hi, how are you?", we gave each other a big hug and everything just seemed to go back to normal.  Like it was so many years ago.  

We had a great dinner, and talked about so much.  Our lives, our kids, our families.  We reminisced and shared our memories of our time together, and it felt so good to laugh so much.  K's little family were there and made me feel very welcome.  They knew the history, so that made things a little easier.  But, they embraced me with open arms.  Like I was part of the family, and that meant so much to me.  I took Peanut with me because they wanted to meet her.  Not that my other kids aren't important, and that they don't want to meet them... but Peanut was the child I got pregnant with when everything fell apart.  It was important to them to meet her, talk to her, and see that she turned in to a fine young woman.

Once dinner was over, we drove over to a little park so that we could all sit and talk some more.  It was such a wonderful evening, and we've already started making plans on getting our families together for cookouts and such.

It just blows my mind how much people from so long ago can impact my life.  I mean, I've lead my life and come out A-OK without them, but they've always been in my mind.  I've always thought about the day we could meet again and share our life's adventures.

The only other person I was so close with in high school passed away several years ago.  So, I really haven't had any contact with my high school friends.  Not because I didn't have any friends, but I'm a firm believer that once life moves on...the true friends are those that stick around.  Sure, I "Like" several statuses on Facebook that belong to people I went to school with, but I haven't spent any amount of time thinking about them or reminiscing our times together.  Not like I have for the three friends that were the closest to me.  I lost one of them, and can never get her back... which I guess it's so important for me to rekindle the friendships I had with K and C. 

They were a big part of the tough times I endured during my mid-teen years.  They were there to offer a helping hand and help me make the best out of a bad situation.  It's so much more than a couple of teenagers that used to hang out with each other on the weekends.  We lived together!!  Shared a home. 24/7, we were together for several months.  Their family was my family.  And, now, it's like I have that extended family back.

K has let family members know that we've reconnected, and now they want to see me again. See how my life has turned out and especially how Peanut turned out.  I don't think it's from guilt, but more of a reinforcement that the right decisions were made when they were made... and to make sure that no hard feelings are held.  

I'm OK with that.  There are no hard feelings.  Now that I'm a mother of a teenager, I know where they were all coming from.  Why on earth would they take on the burden of a pregnant 17 year old?  It wasn't their burden to endure.  But, I'm sure they thought about me...wondered how I did, how everything turned out in the end.  And, now they all get that chance to find out.

I really feel like I'm starting out another strong friendship... starting over, yet picking up where we left off.  We're all adults, grown, have our own families, but now we will get to share them all. Be apart of each other's lives, just like we always dreamed about.  We always thought about our adult lives when we were young, and how we'd all be apart of those lives.  There may be a 15 year chunk out of that plan, but there's no reason why we still can't make some of those dreams come true.  

K and C are like the younger version of Sanity and Hope.  Sanity and Hope have been there for me during tough times, have been my shoulder to cry on when I needed them, and me for them.  While we don't get to see each other NEAR as often as I'd like, I know they're always a phone call or text message away.  And they know the same about me.   I can't picture my life without them, now.  Which is exactly how I feel about K and C.  When I was 16 years old, I couldn't picture my life without them.  Even when they weren't there, they were still there.  And now, they really ARE here.  

I can't put in to words how happy and excited that I am.  Really, I can't.  I'm trying.. but it's not doing what I feel any justice.  

To some, it may sound silly.  An adult woman that's so excited about friends she had in high school.  Big whoop, right?  Well, that's fine.  I understand that.  But, there's SOOOO much more to the story.  And, that story is still being written.  One day, I'll share it all...when the time is right.  I'll explain why all of this is such a big deal, and why they mean so much to me.  There are parts that I keep locked away because I'm not ready for the whole world to know ALL of my deep, dark secrets.  

In fact, those two are probably the only people on the planet that know ALL of the story.  My family, my kids, my friends, their one knows ALL of it.  Except them.  Because they were right there with me.  And knowing that there are two people out there that shared those experiences with me, helped me through them in fact, means more than anyone could ever know.  And it's what's kept our bond in place.

One day I'll be able to confront those demons.  Share them.  But, right now, I'll just be satisfied with having them back in my life.  To bridge the gap that's formed over the past 15 years...and make sure they never slip away from me again.

Have a great Monday, everyone!!


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