Friday, July 18, 2014

That Crazy Thing Called Life


I am no stranger to a crazy life.  Crazy busy. Crazy fun.  Crazy dramatic.  Crazy scary.  It's how I've pretty much spent my whole life.  I did crazy stupid things when I was young, that made crazy funny memories.  I switched in to crazy stressful mode that enhanced my crazy protective mode.  Then, life got crazy busy which results in crazy tired.  

It's something I've come to embrace, cherish... because honestly I think if life doesn't have a little crazy, it would be crazy boring!!

But, over the past couple of years, the word crazy has taken on a new meaning.  Younger me lived life on a roller-coaster.  Constant ups and plummeting downs...twists and turns...scary uphill battles and stomach churning excitement.  Now, I would probably compare my life more to a train ride.  A little bumpy now and then, but staying on a pretty straight track close to the ground.

There's nothing wrong with living life like that.  To be safe, stable, going around and around running the motions.  It's what most people crave, I assume.  Stability.  Safety.  Comfort.

It still offers the crazy.  The crazy busy, sometimes crazy stressful, and even has a few crazy adventures.  

And when I really think about it, I realize that the ultimate goal for my life was to get on board that train and let it run its course.  The easy life.  

But, there are still times when I miss the crazy wild days of my youth.  Carefree, getting in to all kinds of trouble, laughing until my sides screamed in agony.  It's so funny to think back to the days where all I ever wanted was to be an adult, and now I hear kids say the same thing and urge them to enjoy each day and cherish the moments of childhood.

Every bit of crazy that I've endured over the years has built the person that I am today.  The crazy good and the crazy bad.  I take pride in knowing the obstacles I've overcome, and the wild ride I've taken to get here.  

I often think that if someone asked me 15 years ago what I wanted for my life 15 years down the road... I'd probably tell them everything that I have right now.  Great family, great job, great house, stability, love, and comfort.  Not that I would have believed any of it to come true.

Fifteen years ago my world was completely turned upside down.  My carefree days were over and I was thrown over the cliff in to adulthood.  No easy transition, no baby steps... just hurled over hoping I'd at least land without too many broken bones.  

And look at me now.  I suffered a few injuries, but I've healed pretty dang nicely if I do say so myself. 

I'm left with a few scars...memories of what was.  I remember, every day, the impact those scars have had on me...what they still have on me.  They will never disappear.  I hold on to them with pride..dignity.  I fought hard and persevered.

I embraced the crazy.

Which is why I still think I embrace the crazy.  Cherish it.  Seek it out, sometimes.  Riding a train is great for every day life, but it's still fun to jump on a roller-coaster every now and then.

And it's a message I want to put out there:  Embrace the crazy.  Ride the rides.  Face your fears.  

Screw making lemonade out of lemons....sometimes it's better to seek out a whole new fruit.  

I am who I am because of the risks I took, the tough decisions, starting over and over and over again.  And, I don't believe that life can be as rewarding without that journey.  

I know I'm not making much sense today... but that's just my crazy coming out.  I have to let it out now and then, in my own way.  When one of my scars starts itching...reminding me of times past... I get lost in the thoughts.  And they eat at me.  Until I can release them in the form of a jumble of words and a point that I'm trying to make, but having a hard time explaining.

I think I need to stop here...  

Have a great day, everyone!!  


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