Wednesday, March 05, 2014

Just Keep Making Me Stronger


Snow Day #20.  It's here.  Just as I predicted.  And today, I'm actually glad.  

I had already booked off a half day today, so now that there is no school I don't have to use up that time.  Not that I would have minded.  But there was the whole stress of not preparing for a sub, so that helps too.

You know, I've often wondered about that saying "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger".  Ever thought about that saying?  Ever stopped to think how much stronger you are because of the trials you've been through that didn't kill you?

If the saying is true, then I want to know why there is no Strongest Mother Competitions.  Move over Iron Men, Strong Men, Power lifters, and MMA champions.  Cause there are mothers out there that, with sheer will and determination alone, are the strongest human beings on the planet.

I am one of them.  I truly believe that.

You've all heard the stories about the mothers that have lifted up cars to save their children, have discovered superhuman powers when their children's lives have been put in to danger.  Won't think twice about shielding their children from a bullet, throwing their kids out of the way of an out of control car, and pulling their children from burning buildings.

When it comes to their child, a mother doesn't give two flying hoots about their own safety.  They will gladly sacrifice themselves in order to protect the most precious thing in their life.

But physical strength, to a mother, doesn't hold a candle to emotional strength.  The amount of burden, stress, and worry a mother will carry on her shoulders in order to shield her child away from it, or make their child's load easier to deal with.

It's just what mothers do.

I am convinced that there is a part of the brain that fires the moment their first child is brought in to the world.  Lies dormant through the mother's entire child years, and then the minute a baby is delivered BAM that dormant part of the brain flares up with lights and music and fireworks.

It triggers the sixth sense that tells a mother when a child is hurting, when something isn't right.  It also creates irrational fears in order to focus on nothing but protection.  Every sharp corner, hot surface, or fall potential becomes noticeable to a mother as a death trap.. a possible harmer of her baby...and she springs in to action to make sure that she is on full alert around all potential harm.

And that part of the brain also carries an extra storage unit, so that mother's can tap in to the emotions of their children, and feel whatever it is they are feeling.  Happiness, sadness, fear, anger, disappointment, pain, regret, excitement.  A mother is tuned in.  She knows.  

Over the course of the past couple of weeks, I have felt my Motherly Strength.  I have wondered why I haven't fallen in to a heaping pile of tears, sadness, and anger.  How I am able to stand strong, put on a happy face, and continue my daily routine as if all is OK.  Everything inside of me has wanted to stop, collapse, and not get back up until all the bad is gone.

But I don't.

I stay strong. 

Not for my own sake, but for the sake of my child.  My children.  

Friday, I was finally able to release some of the pent up emotions.  Let some go, but only so that I was able to refill.  You have to empty the emotional bucket now and then...there's only so much it can hold.  But, the minute the emotional bucket is empty, it starts filling up again pretty quickly.

My kids are the most precious parts of my life.  I would literally do ANYTHING to protect them.  There is nothing they could ever do to waiver my love for them.  

They are happy, healthy, and emotionally stable because I absorb the sadness, sickness, and fear.  OK, maybe not absorb, how about take away some of the sadness, sickness, and fear?  Make all of those things a little easier for my little ones to carry.

When my kids are sad, I am there to hug them.  I am there to listen.  I am there to come up with ideas and strategies to make the sadness go away.  I put those ideas and strategies in to effect.  I stick with them until the sadness is gone.

When my kids are sick, I am there to take care of them.  I hug them, wrap them up in blankets, prepare food or drink, administer appropriate medicine.  I watch them as they sleep.  And I stick with them until the sickness is gone.

When my kids are scared, I am there to protect them.  I hold them, I check under beds and in closets, I  make them laugh, and I come up with ideas to help put the fears to rest.  I then put those ideas in to effect.  I stick with them until the fear has passed.

There's not a moment I could imagine myself doing anything else.  

I guess that's why teaching is so important to me.  There are so many kids out there that don't have that strength in the form of a mother.  Or a mother that doesn't understand the strength she's supposed to have.  Or maybe even a mother that's not around enough to give her child the strength they always need.

I am happy to be that person, however temporary my position may be.

Because I know with every fiber of my being that I was put on this planet to protect and help children.  Children in my classroom, and children in my home.  

I am not a perfect mother.  I make mistakes.  I make irrational decisions without weighing all consequences.  I get angry.  I get upset.  

But, all of my children know that EVERY SINGLE THING I do is for their sake.

Always has been.  Always will be.

They are my life.  My breath.  

They are what I live for.

And whatever I do, if it doesn't kill only makes me stronger.


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