People never cease to amaze me. You think you know someone, and then all of a sudden, you receive a punch to the face with reality. You didn't really know them, you thought the whole time you was getting to know them that you've just been tagging along for a fun ride - until you realize that they've been riding around on the Crazy Train.
I don't have time for crazy people. I mean, I do have time for some crazy people. Crazy funny, crazy passionate, crazy loyal. What I don't have time for is insane crazy....need committed in to a psychiatric hospital crazy. That type of crazy is dangerous, toxic, and just nothing I want to touch with a 100 ft. pole.
One of my biggest rules that I have with my kiddos at school, my kiddos at home, and any friendship I have is that honesty is the best policy. Don't lie to me. It's a waste of my time, and I'd much rather deal with the truth than get caught up in a web of lies. It's not that hard. You don't have to completely spill your guts to me, but at least keep me on track for thinking what I need to think. There's no use in lying, it just creates more problems, more hurt, and more trouble.
But you know what happens when you mix crazy AND a liar? If you don't... be thankful. Because that's a whole stinking, heaping pile of mess you don't want to deal with. If you do know what happens, my heart hurts for you... because nobody should have to deal with that kind of mess.
Yet, I found myself face to face with it yesterday. A new level of crazy that even I don't have much experience with. A liar coupled with a crazy person...and the two of them in cahoots together. That's a fun time, let me tell you. Not.
How someone can go from being the nicest, sweetest person one minute, then just a mere 24 hours later is spewing out the most nastiest, hurtful things in their next breath just amazes me. Not only did I have to deal with that, but add in a crazy, psycho who felt the need to tell me a few "truths" about myself. And when I say crazy, psycho.. I'm not just being hurtful. I'm being 100% honest. C-R-A-Z-Y.
When someone can tell me that they've been cheated on by their significant other over and over and that's how things are, and they're OK with it? That seems a little crazy to me. But, when you get to the point where you'll eliminate ALL relationships your significant other has with ANYONE, trap them in to that relationship by holding your child and other unknown (I know but I'm not sharing) variables over their head, and get to the point where you are a mastermind of brain control and power? That's crazy. Like evil villain crazy. The kind that has the potential to snap at any time and cause nothing but destruction and mayhem wherever they go.
But even crazier than that? Putting up with it. Letting it happen. Being so weak that you will lay yourself down and be trampled all over without having the slightest bit of a backbone to stand up for yourself and do something to free yourself from it all. Especially when there's so many people willing to help.
And I'm not talking about abuse. Not really. I mean, there's definitely some abuse going on, here, but it's not the type of situation where a person is abusing another and that person is too scared to get out of it. It's more like they both crave the crazy situation they're in. They can't stand not having the crazy. They completely do it to THEMSELVES.
But one thing I learned about myself within the past 24 hours is that I won't allow the crazy to interfere with my life. All people make the bed they have to lay in. My bed is full of happiness. I have a great life. Great family, great job, great home, great friends. I have the best kids...they are so smart, so grown up, so responsible, so caring. And, I know that they are the way they are because that's how I raised them. Even during my darkest of days, they were always met with happiness and love. They have seen me struggle and overcome those struggles - and that's a powerful thing to instill in to a child.
And sure, I've traveled on my own Crazy Train throughout my adult life, but when that happened, I had one and only one objective: Find the closest place to GET OFF. Plant my feet back on solid ground, repair myself, and move on.
I am a good person. I am a strong person. I am loving, caring, loyal, and passionate. I am a dang good teacher, and an even better mother. I have pulled myself through the pits of Hell, and came out on the other side feeling the rewards of my fight.
So, when two people say nasty things about me... two crazy people that don't have the stability of a flea... do you really think that's going to get me down? HA! No. You have no power over me. You do nothing but make me feel sorry for you. Both of you. That you have to live in such torment, such unhappiness that the only way you can make yourselves feel better is by including innocent people in the twisted, sick game you both call life.
I do feel sorry for you, however. Well, not exactly sorry for you, but the precious child you have in your home. Sorry that the child you have in your home has to deal with you both. I pray that she grows up and is able to overcome the struggles you are both placing on her. No child should have to endure what you're doing to her.
I feel sorry for the fact that you are so both intwined and engulfed in your crazy, that you both aren't able to go your separate ways and have some chance at a healthy, happy life. But, I am afraid that may be something that never happens. And I feel sorry about that.
You both need some professional help. Serious professional help. And I'm sorry that neither of you can see that, nor will you do anything about it.
What I am thankful for, though, is the fact that I no longer have to be apart of it. I have done all I can do, and it's time for me to wash my hands of it. If it makes you better to say nasty things about me and make fun of me, by all means continue. While you're having your fun, I'll be going about my life. HAPPY. I'll be basking in the goodness that surrounds me. I'll be enjoying the fruits of my labor, and sipping up the drink of amazing life that has been bestowed upon me. I'll be enjoying my kids, putting them first, and making sure that their future is paved in happiness and love.
I say to you, Crazy #1: One day, I pray that you hit rock bottom, just so you can see how toxic she is to you. That even though you worry so much about your child that you're willing to live in Hell just to have a relationship with her, you are doing far more damage to that sweet child than you'll ever know. But, when that happens, do NOT come to me. You had your chance, and you blew it.
To Crazy #2: It saddens me that you are so deep in darkness that you're willing to be in a relationship that is made of no love. That even though you're continuously cheated on and bad mouthed, that it's OK with you as long as he's still apart of your life. If you think that's what love is, you need a serious wake-up call. Even crazy, psycho women deserve happiness.
And to you both: Good luck with each other. You deserve each other. I'm sure the rest of your days will be filled with the upmost unhappiness and crazy. But, rest assured that you have had no affect on me. I am stronger than that, and while you sit around laughing at me... I will be sitting around feeling sorry for you both. Laugh all you want. Laugh at how great my life is, how happy my kids are, and how life just couldn't be better for me. If that's what makes you feel better, then by all means have it.
At least I know if you're sitting around and laughing at me, there's at least some laughter in your lives. Cause Lord knows, that's about the only happiness you both will ever encounter.