Day Fourteen: Thankful for Social Media....Sometimes

                     

My goodness, I just can't believe we're already two weeks in to November.  It seems like time has been flying by so fast!  Another week closer to Thanksgiving, another week closer to Christmas.  

Today, I'm thankful for something that I kinda have a love/hate relationship with.  Thankful for something that can bring me a lot of happiness, while bringing me a lot of anger and pain.  Which is kinda weird.

But, today I'm thankful for social media.  

Mostly Facebook and Instagram, although I have dabbled around with Twitter that I use for my other blog...and have had some great moments thanks to having it.

I think it's kind of funny that had this been ten years ago, there wouldn't be an Instagram logo or Twitter logo up in that frame.  It would have Yahoo Messenger and MySpace logos instead.  Does anyone even use them anymore?  I know that MySpace is still around, but it's definitely NOT the same thing that I used a decade ago.

Yeah, I've had my shares of ups and downs when it comes to the likes of Facebook, but at the end of the day I can't help but be sucked in to the fact that I'm just a click away from catching up with old friends, seeing what family members are up to in England, and sharing my extremely exciting life with people I don't and haven't talked to since high school, family I haven't seen in years, and people I have made minor acquaintances with over the years.

The sad truth is, my social media outlets provide me a way of feeling sociable, without really being sociable.  I get to interact with people.  I get to laugh and cry with people.  I get to make my presence known with a simple "Like" without actually having to say anything.

And, who doesn't love getting the chance to feel like a stalker from the comfort of their own home?

I spend WAY too much time perusing the Facebook feed finding out what people have had for dinner, what they're watching on TV, reading the cute little memes that overload the stream, and wishing people Happy Birthday even though I would have had no idea it was their birthday if it wasn't for Facebook.

Yes...the positives are there for making my life a little bit happier.

Even though I have about 350 "friends" on Facebook, the majority of the people that appear on my feed are people I haven't spoken to in YEARS, haven't seen in YEARS, or have never met... but are somehow connected to me by family.  I find it kinda humorous the amount of people I get to keep up with like the Kardashians are the people I don't or haven't spoken to in so long....and probably wouldn't if it wasn't for Facebook.  It's entertaining, in a weird sort of way.  Like living in a weird high school or family reunion each and every day.

There are also some situations I could definitely do without when it comes to Facebook.  

I understand that Facebook is an outlet for sharing feelings and thoughts, yet there are some that I wish people would keep to themselves.  I just get so sad when I read slamming remarks and negative feelings about how another person feels....that bashes beliefs or political views or personal decisions.

I guess the most apparent situations that come to mind are stuff like the Presidential election, the whole Chick-Fil-A situation, and the slamming of an entire religious group or cultural family because of the actions of an individual or small group of individuals.  

I get that people have opinions, and Facebook is a great place to share opinions on current events.  I just don't like it when a person states an opinion that's not agreed with, and nasty, hateful slurs are thrown their way.  I've watched news companies post enticing questions that are designed to start quarrels and bickering for pure entertainment value, and that makes me sad and mad.

During those situations, I tend to shy away.  I won't get involved.  I just sit behind my computer, shaking my head, and wondering how so many people can jump on a bandwagon that supports belittling and degrading comments towards others.  

Don't support the President?  Fair enough... but why call those that do nasty names or blame them for problems with our country that they have absolutely NO control over.  Or, throw them in to a stereotype about their way of life without knowing who they are or what their life is about?  The absolute same can be said for those that don't support the President.

Do or don't support Gay marriage?  OK.  Either way works for me, as long as there's some justifiable reason for feeling that way.  Even if there's not, actually.  Everyone has a right to their own opinion.  Yet, there's no reason to attack religious beliefs, blame them for all the wrong in the world, or make personal attacks about their parenting skills or the way they were raised.

Think that there's major problems with our current welfare system?  There absolutely IS!  But, don't accuse or blame those that receive welfare as all being corrupt, drug using, money wasting leeches.  I absolutely believe that there are people out there that abuse the system, yet as a person that was once dependent on that "system", it broke my heart to hear people belittle and judge people that receive any form of assistance as being worthless or irresponsible or not worthy of having children if they didn't have the money to support them.

I just sometimes feel that people don't often think about the comments they make before posting them.  

But, regardless of any of that negative stuff, my social media has brought me a lot of joy over the years.  I have been able to talk to family members that are thousands of miles away, in a different country, without having to spend a fortune on a phone bill.  I've been able to join in the celebrations of new babies, birthdays, holidays, and vacations.  I've been able to laugh at jokes.  I've been able to see what life is like for people that I only ever see in a professional environment.  I've been able to share my own celebrations, frustrations, and random thoughts that pass through my head.  

At the end of the day, Facebook, Instagram, and even Twitter have given me a way to connect.  To stay connected.  To build connections. To interact.  

And, today, that's what I am thankful for.

Day Thirteen: Thankful for an Awesome Secret Pal

                                

Last year, I decided to participate in the Secret Pal program at work.  It was my first year there, but I figured it would be a good way to emerge myself in to the stuff that goes on, and show that I'm a team player that likes to enjoy fun activities.

At the beginning of the year, all those participating filled out a sheet, we turned them in, and then selected names from a bucket.  The expectation was to buy a small gift each month for the person we selected, and to also buy stuff for holidays.  

I was blessed last year with an awesome Secret Pal.  All year long, I received the nicest gifts for various reasons and occasions...and sometimes just because.  And, it always put a big smile on my face to get to work one morning to discover a gift waiting for me.  One morning, I arrived at school and actually teared up when I discovered a Thirty One bag hanging on my door handle containing crocheting items.  I already had a couple of Thirty One items, a lunch box and huge tote, and I was given a smaller tote, perfect for carrying my teaching stuff home in each weekend, matching the style of my other two bags.  Throughout the year I also received a zebra striped Scentsy to plug in to my wall, a Bath and Body works gift set, a Charming Charlie gift card, and on the day of the reveal received a Snow Cone maker.  My secret pal ended up being the school nurse, and she sure did spoil me rotten the entire year.

I wasn't the greatest Secret Pal in the world.  Well, not near as good as my secret pal was to me.  I often forgot to do a monthly gift, and so I ended up going a couple of months and then compensating by putting together a gift basket for my Secret Pal to apologize for missing out on getting stuff.  

I enjoyed it so much last year, that I decided to have another go this year.  

I'm trying to be a much better secret pal this year.  But, once again, I have been blessed with an amazing Secret Pal.  Not only has my Secret Pal surprised me with some amazing gifts, but it seems as though my Secret Pal has been tuned in to me somehow.

During the first couple of months of school, I had some pretty rough days.  Days where my frustration level reached an all time high.  Days when nothing seemed to be going my way.  Days where I doubted everything I was doing and my abilities to make any sort of impact on the students in my room.  Days where I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry until May.

On each one of those days, everything would be made better when I would come in to my classroom from recess or taking my kids to lunch or arriving at school the next day to a small gift from my secret pal that somehow restored my faith in whatever it was I was upset about.

The time I was majorly frustrated, I received a card with the words "You Done Good" on the front.  A cute, heartwarming poem had been typed up and glued to the inside of the card.  And it really touched my heart and made me feel so much less frustrated.  On the day where nothing seemed to be going my way, I received a journal to write down my thoughts and notes.  It reminded me that journaling (my blog, mostly) was my outlet for letting those negative feelings go, and that everything would be OK once I'd written stuff down. One the day where I doubted everything I was doing, I received a magnet with the most beautiful little passage written on it that it made me bawl like a baby:

Has anyone ever told you what a wonderful person you are?

Just in case you haven't heard these words in a while.  I want you to hear them now.  You deserve to know that...

It takes someone special to do what you do.  It takes someone rare and remarkable to make the lives of everyone around them nicer, brighter, and more beautiful.  It takes someone who has a big heart, and a caring soul.  It takes someone who's living proof of how precious a person can be.

It takes someone like you.

How amazingly touching and beautiful that passage is, right?  It couldn't have arrived on a more perfect day.  And I now keep that magnet firmly on my desk, and look at it and read it several times a day.  It helps me stop, breath, and remind myself that everything is going to be fine...and that I just get upset and frazzled because I care so much.

Whoever my secret pal is either has extremely good timing, or is someone pretty close to me and is aware of some of the struggles I've been facing this year.

The only part that's tough about the secret pal program is the secret part.  I don't know how many times already I've wanted to just run to whoever my secret pal is and give them a big hug for making my day brighter and finding the perfect little way to cheer me up.  

Even the gifts that have arrived that haven't been somehow cosmically connected to a tough day have put a big smile on my face.  Flowers to celebrate a short work week.  A purple zebra striped pen that scrolls a cute little poem when you click it.  A keychain that says "I love teaching".  A bag of trail mix.  Small gifts, yet extremely powerful and perfect.

My secret pal also knows that I love poetry or shares my love of poetry.  Almost every gift I've received has been sent with a handwritten (or typed I should say) poem.  

I figured that with these thirty days of being thankful, I just had to throw in how thankful I am for my secret pal.  I have no idea if she reads my blog.  I'm assuming it's a "she".  I don't think any of the guys I work with participate.  That would be kinda awkward to find out that it's a guy...but I'm not going to worry too much about that.

I hope that my secret pal does read my blog.  It would, hopefully, shed some light about how grateful I am for her.  How much she has already done for me in the few months we've been back in school.  How the gifts I've received have impacted my days, moods, and feelings.  

If she doesn't read, then maybe someone does that knows who my secret pal is and can pass this along to them.

But, regardless, I want anyone and everyone that reads my blog to know that I have, once again, an amazing secret pal this year....and for that, I am truly thankful.

Day Twelve: Thankful for Coffee!!

                      

I know it seems weird to be writing a thankful post about something as simple as coffee.  But, in all honesty, I'm surprised that I haven't written this post sooner.  Or that I didn't title the post "Everyone I Know is Thankful I Have Coffee".  That would be a more appropriate title.

Coffee is a very important part of my life.  It's the first thing I go to when I jump out of the shower each morning.  It's the first thing I go to when I get to work.  It's the first thing I go to when I get home from work on a chilly evening.  Also, every child (and adult) in this house will tell you that it's not wise to speak to me or even make eye contact with me until I've at least prepared my first cup of coffee each morning.

Yes.  In my mind, there's nothing more relaxing, soothing, or calming than a nice, hot cup of coffee.

My love of coffee has a pretty solid history.  I've been drinking the stuff my entire life...yes, even as a child.  I remember thinking it was just the coolest thing ever to be allowed a cup of coffee when I stayed with my grandparents as a child, or on the rare occasion my parents would allow me to have a cup.  Even though, back then, I had to have several teaspoons of sugar to take away the disgusting bitter flavor I thought coffee had back then.  It was and still is a tradition that on Christmas morning, no presents are to be unwrapped until the first cup of coffee has been downed....and on Christmas morning, it's special coffee made with hot milk rather than water.  My kids don't understand the whole thing, and they have never gotten excited about getting a cup of coffee.  They'd much rather have hot chocolate or milk...and will pass on the offer of coffee.  

Of course, now I don't think coffee has a disgusting bitter taste, and I have no sugar in my coffee anymore.  Occasionally I'll treat myself to a flavored coffee creamer, but only in the evenings...and usually that's only in the winter.  I don't really care too much for coffee in the evenings during the summer.

Coffee also has a strong connection to my memories of the teachers that inspired me to become a teacher.  One of my first teacher's classroom smelled like coffee.  She always smelled like coffee.  She always had a cup of coffee in her hand each morning.  Even though her face has become somewhat fuzzy to me over the years, I can still see that purply pink coffee mug she held in her hand each morning clear as crystal.  And, I remember making the connection with that coffee...thinking to myself at the ripe old age of about 5 or 6 that when I grew up and became a teacher, how wonderful it would be to have a cup of coffee in my hand each morning when I greeted my own students.

Back then, I thought of coffee as a teacher's staple.  Thinking back to all of my favorite teachers (and there were a lot of them) they always had a cup of coffee in their hand at some point of the day.  Even though every adult I knew drank coffee, it was somehow more special in the hands of one of my teachers.

I actually remember the times I would play school alone in my bedroom, teaching all of my dolls and stuffed animals the stuff I had learned in school that day, included me walking around with a cup from one of my teasets full to the brim with imaginary coffee.  It just didn't seem authentic to recreate a classroom in my bedroom without that important cup of fake coffee in my hand.

And, I was able to bring that dream to life... yet, now I know why all those teachers always had a cup of coffee in their hands.  It wasn't a special "teacher" thing, it was just their way of waking themselves up and preparing themselves for a day of teaching 20+ kids without pulling their hair out.  

One of the first things I bought for myself when getting my teaching job was a fancy zebra striped coffee mug.  It would be THE cup that held my cup of coffee each morning.  Something my kids would connect to me.  Yet, after a few weeks of realizing how dangerous it was to leave a cup of hot coffee laying around in an open mug, and how quickly that hot cup of coffee became freezing cold from setting it down for a few minutes, made me quickly switch to a insulated coffee cup with a lid.  It's not pretty.  It's not "teacher like".  But, it keeps my coffee hot for much longer, and I can set it down on my desk without worry that someone (probably me) will knock it over and burn someone.

I chose today to discuss my thankfulness towards coffee because we're getting a major cold front moving in to the area.  Yesterday, the weather was beautiful and stayed in the mid 60s.  Even when I left school last night, around 6:30PM, I didn't need a jacket because it was so mild outside.  This morning, I woke up to it being right around the freezing mark...and it's supposed to continue getting colder for a couple more hours.  In fact, the wind chill is supposed to be in the teens by the time I get to work.  The high for today will barely make it over the freezing mark.  

Of course, I'm not complaining.  Anyone that knows me knows that I LOVE the cold weather.  There's just something about it that tells me the holidays are coming...my favorite season is on it's way in.  Cold weather means fuzzy pajamas, snuggling up with a blanket, and a hot cup of coffee in my hands.  That's my idea of relaxation perfection.  Of course, I can't do that at work... but it's something I look forward to all day long for when I go home.  

And now my coffee cup is empty, signaling my time to start getting ready for work.  Being that it's so cold, I may have to prepare another cup for the road.

Everyone have a wonderful Tuesday!!

Day Eleven: Thankful for the Lessons Learned Through Disappointment and Sadness

Before I get started, let me first say that today is Veteran's Day.  And today I am thankful for the veteran's that have served this country.  I chose not to write a blog post about Veteran's Day because, honestly, I don't have much more to say than Thank You.  No stories of family members who served, no close connections to anyone lost due to war, and so I chose to write about something else today.

Today isn't really a thankful post that will leave you with any fuzzy feelings or an upbeat attitude.  In fact, this post will probably come off more like it feels when receiving a back handed compliment.  The intention will be there for it to be a good thing, but it will end up feeling like an insult rather than a compliment.

I had a really rough time sleeping last night.  Mostly because of the feelings that will be explained today.  I went back and forth in my head about whether or not I should even write this post.  Then, when I made the decision that I would write it, I found myself tossing and turning to try and think of the best way to say what I had to say without sounding selfish or upsetting anyone or coming off that I'm a coward for using my blog to express feelings rather than tackling the demon head on.

Today, I am feeling a little sad and pretty disappointed.  The feelings are not new, they have been growing inside for quite a while...yet, I have tried with everything inside of me to ignore them, get rid of them, push them away.  A conversation I had yesterday ended up fueling them in to overdrive... thus leading me to write this post... because when I write about feelings I just can't shake, I tend to feel better.

Let me start by saying something you already know, that my two most favorite holidays are Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Do you know why?  Because they are the two holidays that are spent with my family.  And because of the traditions that were instilled years and years ago that I cherish so much today.

Christmas for the childhood traditions, and Thanksgiving for the traditions that were created once I became an adult.

Six years ago, for the first time ever, I hosted Thanksgiving dinner at my house.  It was such a proud moment for me.  Every year prior, Thanksgiving was held at my parents' house and even though I loved those times... it was one of the highlights of my life to be in a place where I could have my family - my parents, siblings, grandparents, in-laws - there with me.  I felt so special on that day.  I was eight months pregnant with Jelly, but I didn't let that deter me from putting everything I had into making that day special for everyone that came.  That was the only year to have such a big Thanksgiving.  Every year after that, it was just my parents and my two youngest siblings that came for Thanksgiving... but, that was still a big deal for me.

And so the new tradition was born.  I would host Thanksgiving at my house, and my mother would have Christmas at her house.

Which leads me to Christmas.  Christmas has ALWAYS been my most favorite holiday simply because of the traditions.  To this very day, I still "do" Christmas for my kids the way my parents did for me.  No presents under the tree until Santa comes Christmas Eve.  Spending Christmas Eve watching A Christmas Story before heading off to bed...several times over, for me, thanks to the 24 hour marathon that has played since I was young.  Stockings hung in the bedrooms so that the kids can open them when they first wake up, but no child is to leave their bedroom until Hubby and I are up and coffee has been made.  Sitting around the tree Christmas morning and only one person opening a gift at a time, so that the entire family can watch the excited face that comes from opening up the surprise that awaits in the present.  Enjoying cookies for breakfast.  All traditions that were handed down to me from my parents and that I hope my children will hand down to their own children.

Once I had a family of my own, new traditions were added.  Christmas morning is spent at home with my children, but after all the presents are opened it's time to get dressed and head to my parents' house.  We arrive there to more gift opening, and Christmas dinner.  The entire day is spent talking, laughing, playing, and having a jolly good time.  We always spend the night, and then celebrate Boxing Day with my parents, because that's an English holiday and I feel happy that we still observe it together as a famliy.  A time to eat leftovers, play with the new games and toys that the kids received for Christmas, and more talking, laughing, and having a good time.

All of those traditions were so important to me...are so important to me.  Which now leads me to the tough part of my blog post.

In the beginning of last year, my parents became foster parents.  It stemmed from them taking in my niece and nephew, who were taken away from my sister because of reasons that are best left between my sister and my parents.  At the time, I thought it was a great thing.  My mom had always had children in her home.  And, once she was left permanently disabled from a surgery that went bad, she truly needed something in her life.  She had spent her entire adult life working, and being home alone was a lot for her to deal with.

I thought it was a wonderful thing that my parents were taking in my niece and nephew.  They were both very young, and needed to be with family that loved them and would take care of them the way they needed to be taken care of.  I even thought it was wonderful that my parents had agreed to open up their home to other children that needed a safe place.  It is a very honorable and demanding lifestyle that I knew would be good for my parents.

What I didn't think about, at the time, were the ramifications it would have on my own family.

When my parents first got started, they had one or two foster children at a time.  No biggie.  Last Thanksgiving was the first year of them being foster parents, and my parents had Thanksgiving dinner at their own house.  Not because of the foster children, but because my house had simply gotten to the point where I just couldn't host there.  The house was in a shambles and I just couldn't open up my home anymore.

But, I made a pact that it would be the only Thanksgiving where that would happen.  We would find a new home and everything would go back to normal.

So, this year, when we looked for our new home... I envisioned Thanksgiving dinner in each house we looked at.  When I walked in to our new house, and saw the open dining room, I immediately thought how perfect it would be to have my family here for Thanksgiving.  So much room for everyone, and a warm, inviting place for them all to come.

Yet, my excitement started to turn in to worry over the summer.  My parents had "upgraded" from having one or two foster children (not including my niece and nephew) to having three or four at a time.  I started to think forward about what Thanksgiving would be like with my five, my parents, my two siblings, my niece and nephew, and three or four extra children.  Quite the handful.

And, yesterday, I expressed that concern to my mother for the first time.  When she responded that she would just have Thanksgiving at her house, like it was just another day... no big deal... it really hit home how much my parents becoming foster parents has pushed away their family.  More over, my family.

All I keep asking myself is what about me and my kids?  They expect to spend holidays with their grandparents.  I expect to spend holidays with MY parents.  And, honestly, being that they have ten people in the house right now, I barely want to go over there.  It's just too crowded.  There's too many people there.  I can't go over and enjoy some quiet time with my mom while the kids play outside... because no matter where I go, there's a foster child sitting there.  

I know that sounds terribly selfish.  I don't mean it to be that way.  It's just what my parents fail to see is that while they are taking care of four complete strangers... their own grandchildren are feeling pushed to the wayside.

Up until last year, it would be nothing for me to ask my mom for her to babysit all three kids while Hubby and I spent some time alone.  That certainly can't happen anymore.  With them having eight children in the house, there's just not enough room... and it's just too much burden to ask of them.  Why on earth would I ask them to babysit three more children when they've already got their hands so full?

Butter still gets to spend quite a bit of time over there, but Peanut and Jelly would rather not.  They feel too crowded, themselves, when they are there.  

And my mother doesn't realize the burden it also puts on me.  Doing something like hosting a family get together has become almost impossible.  It makes me nauseous just thinking about trying to accommodate that many people in my home at one time.

Now Thanksgiving and Christmas will not be the same.  My parents won't be coming here, and even though we will still go over there for Christmas dinner (this year, although I'm not even sure that will happen again if there's so many people there next year), we won't be staying.  There's just too many people already in the house for us to add another five to the mix for a sleepover.

I'm just sad, and frustrated, and disappointed, and upset.  I don't want to hurt my parents' feelings.  I feel this way because I love them so much and feel like I'm going to be missing out on so much with them...as well as my kids.

I honestly, truly wish they had just agreed to take my niece and nephew.  Their grandchildren.  Two small kids for them to raise.  Two children that need their grandparent's love.  My parents are still young, they have three other grandchildren, they have two children still living at home that will be moving on soon...and eventually having families of their own.  Their house would have never been empty.  There would always be kids there for them to love, take care of, depend on.

I know the impact that my parents are having on those foster kids.  And, again, I feel terribly selfish for even putting these feelings out there.  But, they are my feelings.  

My entire life, I have looked forward to the Thanksgivings and Christmases spent with my family.  Siblings getting together.  Nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts, and uncles...and grandparents.

It looks as though I won't get to have that anymore.  Thanksgiving and Christmas just won't be the same.  I won't get to have Thanksgiving the way I pictured when we bought this house.  I won't get to continue my Christmas traditions with my kids at their grandparents' house celebrating Boxing Day.  

But, one thing I do know is that I can look at this as an opportunity to learn.  To create new traditions.  One day, I will be a grandparent.  I only hope and pray that my children are willing to carry on the traditions that mean so much to me.  That they will spend Christmas and Thanksgiving with me.  Because it is a BIG deal to me.  It means the world to me.  And, to know that my lifelong traditions are coming to an end breaks my heart.  

So, today, I am thankful that I got to spend so many years building the memories I did with family traditions.  I am thankful that I will hopefully grow and create new traditions.  And I am thankful that my feelings may come off as selfish and nasty.. but they are fueled by love.  If I didn't love my parents so much, I wouldn't be near as upset and sad as I am right now.

Day Ten: Thankful for My Snuggly Ball of Fur

                      

Look very closely at that picture, and you might be able to figure out that one of the animals lying on that couch is very real.  

I know, it's hard to tell which...they all look so cute, don't they?

Four of those things are Jelly's stuffed animals, and one is my real life animal: Katniss.

Katniss is my cat.  An animal I never thought I would own, because I'm a dog person.  Cat's are typically boring, lazy, and have hardly any personality.  Dogs are energetic, playful, loving, and loyal.

But somehow, some way, I was able to find a cat that's more like a dog.  I kid you not!

Let's backtrack a little....

The year after I graduated from college was a tough year for me.  I graduated in May, 2011 and expected to start my hard earned career as a teacher.  But that didn't happen.  I couldn't find a teaching job.  No matter how hard I looked, how many interviews I tried to get...nada.

So, I found a job as a teaching assistant.  And life was tough.  Really tough.  My salary for that year was $13,500 GROSS.  So, to say that money was tight was an understatement.

Throw in a house that was falling apart left, right, and center.  Kids that needed new clothes constantly, because they were growing like weeds.  And Hubby's truck that he used to drive to work, basically bit the dust.  Oh, and my dog.  Who had epilepsy, and had recently gotten fixed and after doing so totally forgot what "house trained" meant, and started using the house as her own personal toilet.

I loved that little dog.  I really did.  I'd had her since she was 8 weeks old, and she was then approaching five years old.  But, with all the problems we were going through, and the added stress of having a dog with medical problems and hygiene issues, I made the very tough decision to let her go.  I found her a family that had the means to take care of her, and so we said our goodbyes.  It was an extremely tough decision for me to make, but one that had to be made.

And it was at that point that I made a pact with myself that I would not get another dog.  Period.  

Like we've done many times over, we made it through that tough year.  The school year was coming to an end and my job hunt began, once again.  This time, though, I was able to secure a job.  

I was hired in May of 2012.  I realized that my life was going to start turning around.  Life would be better.

That summer, I had agreed to help my parents out who were taking a vacation to England.  Being that they were foster parents, they needed someone to take care of their foster kids while they were away.  I was asked to be that person.  And I had to do so by moving in to their house for a month, as the foster kids weren't allowed to come to my house due to crossing state lines and such.  Not that I would have wanted them staying in my house at the time.  

So, I didn't get any time to celebrate getting my new job.  I got the job, and the next day I was driving to my parent's house to move in for a month.  

The first week was OK, but I was lonely.  Hubby couldn't go with me because he had to work.  I was in the middle of nowhere with my three children, and three foster children.  Taking care of six children, by myself, was a big strain on me.  

Then, one day about a week in, I made a run to Walmart.  In the parking lot was a guy who had kittens he was giving away.  The kids asked if we could stop and look at them.  I did, and let the kids out so they could pet them.  I had absolutely NO intention of getting a kitten.  I didn't like cats.  

As the kids played with the six black and white kittens that were in the box, I noticed a white kitten all by herself.  She was sitting there, looking at the kids as they petted the other kittens.  She looked like a big ball of fur.  Well, she looked like this...

                               

Even though I didn't like cats, I had to admit that she was absolutely adorable.  She was so timid, but when I reached out my hand...she came straight to me.

The minute I picked her up, I realized that I had to have her.  I forgot all about not liking cats.  I forgot all about how I had promised myself that I wasn't going to have any more animals for a while, because I was still grieving over letting my dog go.  I just held her in my arms and knew that she had to come home with me.

Despite the fact that I knew my mother would go nuts when she found out I brought a kitten in to the house, I took her back to my parent's house with me.  I named her Katniss on the drive back.  No other reason except I had recently read all of the Hunger Games books and thought it would be a cute name.   And, in all honestly, Katniss was my saving grace that got me through the very tough remaining weeks at my parents' house.

I considered her my way of celebrating my new job.  A gift for myself.  A new start on life.  I may not have been a fan of cats, but new changes were coming my way...and I figured that getting a cat would be another way of embracing those changes.

And, from the moment I got her home, I knew that Katniss would not be like any other cat I'd interacted with before.  She followed me around.  She snuggled with me in bed.  She played with the toys I bought her.  She would push herself under my hand anytime I stopped petting her.

None of that has changed.

Now, she's much bigger, of course.  But, she has remained a playful, loving, loyal companion.  

She follows me around the house.  When I take my coffee and iPad out on the patio, she sits at the patio doors waiting for me to go back inside.  She sits on my desk when I'm working.  She snuggles with me on my chair in the living room while I'm watching TV.  She follows me to bed at night and curls up under my arm.  Every morning, when I wake up, she's the first thing I see.  She leads the way in to the kitchen and waits by the coffee maker, because she knows that the minute I get my coffee started I'll be feeding her.  

She is also such a good family pet.  She lets Jelly carry her around as if she really were one of her stuffed animals.  She never hisses or pulls her claws out.  If I'm busy around the house, I can often find Katniss in one of the kids' rooms keeping them company.  And, Hubby also adores her.  Which is a very big deal, because Hubby LOATHED my dog.  

I still wouldn't consider myself a cat person.  In fact, we actually got her a couple of playmates at one point because we thought she was getting lonely by herself during the day.  That didn't work out AT ALL.  The other cats got in to stuff, scratched the furniture, and drove us nuts.  They didn't last very long... and we just went back to just having Katniss.

I absolutely adore her.  And I owe her so much.  She has been a loyal companion to me since getting her.  

After a rough day at work, or when stuff isn't going my way, or when I just need some quiet time, I can always count on her to be right there.  Snuggling my cares away.  

And to have such an amazing, thoughtful, loving animal is something to be very thankful for.

Day Nine: Thankful for the Weekends

                            

It's Saturday!!  Which means I didn't have to get up at the butt crack of dawn this morning.  I didn't have to go to bed at a "reasonable" time last night.  I get to hang out in my pajamas for a while and be as comfortable as I want... until it's time to worry about doing anything that requires me taking a shower and getting dressed.

I absolutely LOVE my job, but I also absolutely LOVE the fact that I have weekends off.  Not everyone has that privalege, and it's definitely a perk to being a teacher.  

However, just because I don't get up and drive to work on Saturdays and Sundays doesn't mean that I'm not working.  In fact, I don't remember a weekend since the summer where I haven't spent some of my weekend sitting at my desk grading papers, writing lesson plans, or sorting data on growth and areas of concern.  

But, I am very thankful that I can spend my weekends working in comfort, in my home, on my own time schedule.

Last week, Hubby and I found some small side tables at Wal-Mart that were on clearence.  They are the kind that slide right under the furniture, and that can be pulled right up close.  They also have this cool little stand-up thing on the end that can hold a tablet perfectly.

Here..it was easier to take a picture of what I'm talking about, rather than try to explain it....

                             

Would you believe that these things were on sale for $5 a piece??  I kid you not!  And we bought 4 of them.  

This little table has been an answer to one of my many prayers.  Because it has transformed the way I now spend my weekends, working.  Up until this point, I would sit at my desk to work.  My desk is in our home office, which is away from the living room, away from the TV, and away from where the rest of the family spend their time.  Sure, my office is a quiet place to get work done... but when I'm working in there, I actually feel like I'm working...and not spending any time off.

Now, with my new fancy little table thingy, I can work in the living room and be completely comfortable... right in front of the TV.

Last night, I sat in front of the TV with Hubby and graded papers.  I spent a lot more time than I normally would writing little notes on the papers, giving feedback, and writing in grades.  Because I was comfortable, because I felt like I wasn't really working...it was something to do while sitting in front of the TV.

And I pretty much have the same thing planned for today.  Just relaxing and working at the same time.  

Of course, I'm not just thankful for being able to work on the weekends in comfort.  Yes, work takes up a good portion of my weekends...but not all of it.  

Here, lately, we haven't really done much on the weekends besides grocery shopping, cleaning, and laundry.  That's my normal weekend in a nutshell.  But, occasionally I'll venture out and see family and friends.  I try to make it over to see my parents at least once every other weekend.  I'll be heading over there tomorrow to take Butter, because he has a doctor's appointment Monday morning that my mom will take him to so that I don't have to miss work.

Next weekend, however, will be the weekend I look forward to the entire year.

Next weekend is the weekend I finally start Christmas shopping!!

That time is spent alone.  Just me.  Shopping all day long, hunting for treasures and surprises to be opened on Christmas morning.  It is, hands down, the most exciting weekend of my entire year.  Followed up closely by the weekend after, that is spent shopping for Thanksgiving.

A few years ago, I was someone who tried to break up Christmas shopping and have it done as early as possible.  In fact, it wasn't uncommon for me to be completely done with the bulk of my Christmas shopping by October.  That's because I was smart, and bought a few things here and there with each paycheck.  Then, I realized that if I just put some money away for a while, I could do my Christmas shoppig closer to Christmas...which is what I prefer, because it gives me a boost of Christmas spirit and really fills me for the upcoming holiday season.

Call me crazy, but I think that being out Christmas shopping when the weather is cold and there are Christmas decorations up and Christmas sales taking place is much more fitting to the occasion.  I blast Christmas music in the car, and stop for some kind of festive hot beverage while I'm out.  And it has become an important holiday tradition for myself.

But, enough about that... back to my being thankful for Weekends.

Most people would probably think that my weekends are extremely boring, and wonder why on earth I would be thankful for such.  But, when you spend your week working your tail off, leaving early, coming home late, barely having enough time to breathe let alone anything else....a couple of days of doing hardly anything is something to be very thankful for.  It's nice to just slow down the pace.  Relax.  Collect my thoughts.  Take care of stuff that gets neglected during the week.

The youngest two kids often spend time playing video games, or are outside riding their bikes or playing basketball.  The oldest child spends time listening to her music, talking to her friends, or hanging out with them.   I used to worry that we weren't doing enough stuff together on the weekends.  That I wasn't devoting time to doing family activities or taking them places to enjoy their weekends.  And, then I realized that the weekends are just as much downtime for them as they are for me.  

We did begin a new "thing" a couple of months ago, and that was Saturday night movie night.  Every Saturday night, we rent a movie and watch it together.  That's our one family activity for the weekend, and even though we're not talking or sharing or really interacting with each other during that time.. we're all in the same room, enjoying the same thing together. 

We get plenty of sharing and talking time each and every day with the 30 minute drive to and from school.

I am thankful that I no longer worry about being that person who worries so much about what I should be doing on the weekends, rather than just enjoying what I don't have to do on the weekends.  

If my kids want to laze around all day playing video games or watching TV, I'm OK with that.  During the week, the only "TV time" they get is about an hour before they all pass out.  By the time we get home, eat dinner, finish homework,  take showers and stuff it's pretty close to their bedtimes... so they spend a little while watching some TV to wind down.  So, I don't mind one bit if they enjoy their weekends being completely lazy.  Some will disagree with that mindset, but oh well.  

And, I realized that I got off on another tangent there that really has nothing to do with today's post.

So, I guess it's time for me to wrap it up.  I'm thankful for weekends.  Because it gives me time to think.  To relax.  To destress.  To clean up my house.  To spend the day in pajamas when I don't have to get dressed, or to spend my day in sweats when I do have to get dressed.  To visit family.  And anything else I want to do.

Have a great weekend, everyone!!

Day Eight: Thankful For the Kids I Work With That Keep Me Humble and Grounded

                         

I have already posted how thankful I am for my job, the people I get to work with, and the school I get to teach in.  But, there's another big aspect to that I forgot.  The major reason I love my job, the people I work with, and the school I teach in....The kids.

You really can't be a good teacher if you don't love kids.  Kids are the heart and soul of the teaching profession.  They are the sponges that soak up the information I pour in to them.  The testament to my teaching abilities.  The reason I drive to work excited every day about what the day has in store for me.

I could be thankful just to have students to teach.  But, there's more....oh, so much more that I have to be thankful about when it comes to the kids in my classroom each day, the kids I see in the hallways, and the kids that have become close friends to my own biological children.

Let's start with the fact that the kids I work with make me thankful that I can be thankful for so many things.  Being thankful for having a father for my children, a comfortable home, parents that I am very close with, a job that provides the basic necessities and small luxuries.  And those are just the things I've been thankful for this past week.  That doesn't even skim the surface of all the thankfulness I'll be showing for the remaining days of November.  

How quickly and easy it is for me to forget that many of the kids in my school don't have some or all of those things.  While I'm spouting off about my wonderful new home and the love and support given to me by my parents and a man that loves me, I am reminded that some of my kids are thankful they had a meal the night before or that they received a phone call from a missing parent that they haven't seen in years.  They are thankful that they were able to see their parents for a few minutes before going to bed or before going to school, which doesn't happen very often.  

As I celebrate and give thanks for my job, the people I work with, and the school I teach in, I have students that are thankful for the same school because it provides a place they can feel safe for a few hours, a place that provides a couple of meals, and a place they can enjoy a small taste of childhood without having to worry about caring for younger siblings or taking care of responsibilities that only adults should be taking care of.

The kids I have the privilege of working with each day are just as much teachers to me as I am to them.

Some of the most important lessons I get to learn from them each and every day is that the simple things in life are the things I should never take for granted.  That no matter how bad I think my life may be, or how much I complain... I should be truly and utterly thankful for everything I have been blessed with... because there are so many that don't have those things.  And, that despite some of the hardships thrown their way, they are still able to keep a smile on their face, laugh, and enjoy their time with me.  So, I most certainly better keep a smile on my face and laughter in my heart.

The other day, after coming home from work and discovering that we didn't have water because we had another leak that needed to be fixed, I didn't get mad or upset.  In fact, I took to BitStrip to create a humorous comic about the situation and posted it to Facebook.  My principal was the first one to comment, making light of the fact that the first thing I did was BitStrip about it.  While some people would panic, get all flustered, and be upset about it... I wasn't.  And the main reason for that was because I actually reminded myself that being without water for 24 hours wasn't a big deal....it would be back once the pipe would be fixed.  I should just be thankful that I had running water in the first place, and that I'd have it again once the problem was repaired.

That's definitely NOT the reaction I would have had a couple of years ago.  I would have probably cried.  Called my dad, panicking.  Thought that the world hated me because something bad had happened.  But, stuff like that doesn't have the same impact on me anymore.  I am able to look at situations such as this one with a different set of eyes.  

Over the course of the past year and a half, I have held a child in tears because his dad had left (again), I have had to comfort a child whose parents had suddenly left to go back to Mexico, I have taken extra food from the cafeteria to give to a student because they told me that they hadn't eaten since being at school the day before, listened to stories about a parent or sibling dying, comforted children who have shared that they didn't know where they were going to live because they lost their house, and there's more... so much more that I could share.  

And each time I've held a child in my arms, or sat and listened to them talk, or have let them sit in a quiet area just so that they can have a few minutes to close their eyes and rest....my heart grows a little more.  I realize how much I care for these kids, how much I love them, and how much I am willing to do to make sure that the time they are with me is meaningful and enjoyable.  

So, today and everyday I am so very thankful for the kids I am truly blessed to work with.  I love them all so very much.  More than they probably realize.  I am thankful that I was chosen to be a part of their lives.  

To be able to work with the kids I work with keeps me grounded and humbled.  And how could I not be thankful for that?