Time to Stand Up and Face the Music

I've come to a realization about myself that I don't like very much.  Something that I've thought about often, but brushed off because I didn't want to face the reality of it.  And, because I just don't want to believe it.

I'm not the "Amazing Teacher" I thought I was.

Yep.  Me.  

The teacher that sees the potential in every single student that walks in to her room.  The teacher that spends hours going over mock MAP tests to find the weak spots that need attention.  The teacher that  is convinced she can get students to care about their education, work hard, and overcome all of their obstacles.  And the key word in all of that is "thinks"... I think that I can do that, and that it will all just come naturally... because I thought it was what I was born to do, and I would be the commander of the Ship of Success.

I walked in to my classroom for the very first time in August, 2012.  I walked in convinced that I was going to change the world, that I was going to mold minds, inspire creativity, inspire motivation in students that were running on empty, create the most wonderful lesson plans, and become a teacher that would be remembered by her students forever.

And, I have to say, that pretty much all of last year I think I did a pretty good job of that.  I had a hand in bringing some students out of their shells, helped them discover their potential, and listened to them in order to build lessons and projects that motivated them... because they were all based on their weaknesses AND their strengths.  They succeeded when they thought they'd fail.  They solved problems they thought were impossible to solve.  Many walked in to my classroom with little motivation, but left with a passion and drive that I hear is still right there with them now that they are in 5th grade.

That's awesome.  Something I'm very proud of, especially being that last year was my first year teaching.

But, this year is different.  I've broken one of the main cardinal rules when it comes to being a teacher.  

I expect this year, and my current students to be the same.  However, I've recently realized I've dropped the ball on one important factor.

I expected them to come to me with the same drive and passion as I had last year from those students.  I forgot what I did to encourage my last class.  I forgot what I started out with, and how I turned things around.

All I've ended up doing this year is becoming a nagger.  A whiner.  A negative Nelly.  

I have so many kids in my class, and the work is too hard for them... WAAAAHHHH!!!

I'm being pulled in 50 different directions, and I don't know which way is up.... WAAAHHH!!

My kids can't all read the text in the book, so how can they do the work that goes with it?  WAAAHH!!!

I'm falling behind the other teachers, and can't fit in as much as they are doing...WAAAHHHH!!

Boo, freakin, hoo.

That's me in a nutshell this year.  Whine, whine, whine.

And I've become the queen of negative speeches.

"You don't want to do the work?  FINE!! But, don't come crying to me when you have an F on your report card"

"You 'forgot' your homework?  FINE!! You will sit out your recess!"

"You don't want to listen while I'm reading the stuff from the textbook? OK, but let's see how well you do on answering the questions that go with them!"

THAT'S NOT WHO I AM!!!

I hate the fact that I'm just now realizing this.  Well, that's not true, it's been niggling at me for a while now.  I hate the fact that it's taken this long to stand up and realize where I'm going wrong.

I'm trying to be somebody I'm not.

Last year, I created my own units, my own lesson plans, came up with my own ideas on how to teach what I needed to teach.  But this year, I've taken the easy way out.  I've aligned myself with what the other teachers are doing... how they are teaching, with the same resources they are using.  I didn't want to be the odd one out.  I didn't want to feel like I was "rebelling" against the grade level.  I didn't want to upset the veteran teachers who have been teaching long enough for me to know that they are DAMN good at their jobs, and if they can be with how they are doing it.. then I should be able to do it, too.  Right?

WRONG!!

My teammates are a master of their craft.  

They make teaching look easy.  They have a gift for being able to do what they do with precision and perfection.  And, I admire that.

But, unfortunately, that's just not me.  I am new.  I am not a master of the craft.  And, I'm not accustomed to doing things they way they do it... so instead I end up making myself feel like a failure and a whiner.

So, it's time to stand up and face the music.

If my kids can't do what I'm asking them to do... then I need to ask them to do something different.  If my kids aren't motivated to learn what I'm teaching... then I need to teach differently.  If my kids are finding no joy or excitement in their learning... THAT'S MY FAULT!!

And it's OK.  

If I have to reinvent the wheel so that I can make my kids drive... then reinvent I shall.  

If I have to move away from what everyone else is doing, because it's not working for my kids... then move away I shall.

If I'm spending everyday whining and crying because I'm stressed... then, it's up to me to figure out how to stop that and do something about it!

That is exactly what I'm going to do.

Right now.

Today.

I can be an amazing teacher.  I was born to be an amazing teacher.  But, when I forget that it's the students that make that decision, I am no longer an amazing teacher.

I will be, I just have to do the work to get there.

I Also Have a Dream

                         

I am fully aware that yesterday was MLK Day.  But, it seemed fitting to use him for the theme for today's post to go with the current feelings I'm having.

Yesterday was a rough day.  And I mean...ROUGH.

Not all of it.  Just the second half.  The first half was fine...a normal day back in to normal routines giving my normal spills about assignments and whatnot.

But, the afternoon was ROUGH.

Last week, I received word that the younger brother of a student I had last year for math and reading had passed away.  It's always a blow to the system when I hear of any child passing away, but when it's a child of someone I know or of a student it makes it much harder to swallow.  The young boy who passed away had been born with severe complications.  This was a passing that didn't come as huge shock or by some freak accident.  But, it doesn't make it any easier to cope with.

I knew straight away, regardless of how selfish it may sound, that I could not attend the funeral.  I just wouldn't be able to hold myself together well enough.  My emotions, however strong they sometimes appear, knew that wasn't something I could manage.  But, I was asked to attend the visitation before the funeral.  

My only purpose was to offer my condolences and support to the student that sat in my classroom last year.  The boy that had come to me with emotional baggage.  Having a younger brother with a life-threatening illness and complications took a toll on the home life.  He came with excuses and expectations of failure.  He shut down when things got tough.  He would cry in the blink of an eye out of frustration or disappointment that he hadn't or couldn't complete assignments.  And, so, I had honed in on making his year one of success and achievement.  He came to me weak and unsure.  He left me strong and motivated.  And that is something I will always be proud of.

But, walking in to that funeral home yesterday made all forms of emotions come crashing down on me.  Seeing that coffin in the room instantly brought tears to my eyes.  I even had to walk straight back out, because my knees buckled at the sight.  I had to suck it up, though.  I had to walk in to that room.  I had to swallow my emotions and be strong.... for the boy I had shown so much strength to.  And that's what I did.  I held him in my arms while he cried.  I sat behind him and rubbed his shoulder while his current teacher talked to him.  The school's family liaison, who has helped so much with his family, and his homeroom teacher from last year were also with us.  We all sat with him, comforting him as much as we could.  And I couldn't help but notice that during this time of devastation, the look of strength was still in his eyes.  For his mother?  For his family?  For his little brother?  I don't know.  But, I knew just by his look that he was going to be OK.  He was going to get through this.  Because he knew he had the support he needed to do so.

I left the funeral home with a heaviness in my heart...one that followed me right back to my classroom.

I'm not sure if going to the funeral home impacted the way I looked at the afternoon, but my students seemed to be a lot more rowdy when I returned.  It was hard to get their attention, to get them to focus on what we were doing.  I pulled a couple of kids back to my table to work with me in a small group while the rest of the class worked on a review assignment.  The kids I was working with didn't want to pay attention.  They wouldn't listen to the directions I was giving them, even in our close proximity.  They seemed to have no care when I pointed out that they were doing the exact opposite of what I had directed them to do.  When it came time to go over the assignment the rest of the class had been working on, there was a stream of incorrect answers being given, answers that made no sense.. yet, they thought it hilarious that they had rushed through the assignment without following the directions and getting all wrong answers.

I decided it was best to move on to a different subject area.  Yet, the same thing happened then.  I was asking questions and trying to have a class discussion...and they were more interested in yelling out answers without thinking about what they were saying or if what they were yelling made any sense with the questions I was asking.

And, it was after my frustration reached it's breaking point that I snapped.

I stopped everything.  I told them to put their books and materials away.  And then out it came... the flood of emotion that was boiling up inside of me.

Education is a gift.  A gift that not all children receive.  There are millions of children in the world who are denied an education, who have no means of an education.  There are kids that would give their right arm to set foot in to a classroom and learn.  And then there are the children who will never have the opportunity to learn... because their time on this earth was cut short for some reason or another.  

There will be times when the learning won't be as fun as you'd like.  There will be times when you don't understand why you have to learn what you're learning.  There will be times when the expectations asked of you will appear impossible, and you will get frustrated.  

But that is life.  

We often take education for granted.  It's an expectation.  A rule.  Kids have to go to school, right?  Not because it's something you want to do, but because you have to.  But, instead of thinking about school as a chore or a requirement... why not think of it as a gift or the key to making dreams become reality, the impossible become a little more impossible, and a bright future based on this beginning?

I'm sure that if I were to ask you how you would feel about not being allowed to come to school, you might not think it all that bad. If you weren't allowed to learn math and reading and science and social studies... that would be fine with you, right?  Yay!! No school!  

Who needs school?  School isn't as fun as sitting at home and playing video games or being able to play outside riding your bike or playing soccer or football in the streets, right?  

But, what about those kids who would give their right arm to come to school... would you be willing to trade your life for theirs?  Would you rather wonder where or when your next meal is coming?  Would you rather live in a hut with nothing but old blankets and straw as your bed?  Would you rather use the restroom in a field and bath in a mud hole?  And bringing it even closer to home. Would you rather have to stay in a bed all day long without the control of your arms or legs?  Without the possibility to hold a pencil, or see book, or have the ability to run and play with your friends?

For many of you, had you been alive 50+ years ago, you wouldn't be able to go to school just because of the color of your skin.  You'd be made to feel like you were not important.  You wouldn't be able to step foot into a store or a movie theater or ride a bus, simply because you aren't white.  

So, while you sit there complaining and whining and goofing off about what I've asked you to do, just take one second to think about what life would be like if you were one of the children who aren't given the gift of an education.  If nothing else, take a second to think about what you would like your life to be like when you're an adult.  Do you think your life will be great if you don't know how to read or do math?  Do you think that your parents want you to succeed?  Do you one day hope to have kids of your own?  Will you be OK if they didn't care about school?

I sure hope not.

Right now, we're going to watch a video about a man who created the path for ALL people, regardless of their skin color, to have the rights that you have now.  While this movie is playing, think about what I have asked. Think about what you think your life would be like had this man just decided that school wasn't worth fighting for, that equal rights just weren't worth fighting for.

And that's how I led in to our Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. segment.  We watched the movie, and then I had them write a very short "I have a dream.." speech. 

It was lot quieter for the rest of the day.  The speeches reflected what I'd discussed.  Many kids wrote how they had a dream that ALL children in the world were given the "gift" of school.  They wrote how they had a dream that poor people would no longer be poor, sick would no longer be sick.  

I felt a little bad for letting my emotions take over, but sometimes I feel like I have to take a second and remind them what MY purpose is.  

And today, we'll see if it made any impact.

My students are all great kids.  They are smart, and caring, and supportive.  Some days, they just get a little tired of the same ol' same ol' and want everything to be fun.  I understand that.  I often give that to them.  But, I also like to think that I'm providing life lessons when not everything ends up how they'd hoped it would be.  That they have to work through the boring and hard times.  It makes them stronger.  It makes them smarter.  

And it's really how life is.

OK...time for me to go.

And Now We Can Get Back to Normal...Whatever That Is

Ah, Monday again.  The weekend is already gone, and I don't feel like I've really stopped working all that much since Friday.  Friday night I worked up until almost 11PM.  Saturday I started working around 5PM and stopped around 10PM.  Yesterday, I started around noon and didn't stop until 10PM... but throw in LOTS of breaks for laundry, grocery shopping, and going to take my nephew home because he spent the night here Saturday night.

And about 80% of that time was spent dissecting the mock MAP tests from last week.  Like really dissecting it.

Peanut asked me yesterday why I was spending so much time messing with it.  Why I didn't just grade it in class with my kids and be done with it.  

Well, what good does that do me?  If we spend all that time having a mock version of the actual MAP test, I might as well find out why the kids made the scores they did and what I can do to improve them, right?  It's a lot easier with regular tests we take at school, because they are usually over one skill area.  So, if a kid bombs the test, I know right away that they haven't mastered that skill.  But, the mock MAP tests over LOTS of skill areas and standards.  Just stamping a grade on it and calling it done would kinda be a big, fat waste of the time we spent taking it.  

And, I'm really glad I did take the time to dissect the tests, because I was extremely surprised with what I discovered.  For the most part, my kids did OK.  Not great, but not unbelievably terrible.   Most of the class scored between 50-80%.  But, when I grouped all the questions together by standard/skill, I discovered that there weren't many students who had problems with specific skills...or many skills anyway.

What I mean is, hardly any kids missed ALL the questions relating to author's purpose, or main idea, or fact & opinion.  They missed A question or two in each area.   Hardly enough to consider them well below the "mastery" level.  If they missed 1 out of 4 questions, do I assume they need reteaching in the skill or do I chalk it up to them not fully understanding that one particular question?   It was amazing to see that even though the final score on the test wasn't that great, missing a question in each of the tested standards still adds up pretty quick.  By just looking at the grade one would assume that the student was in need of some hardcore reteaching.  

So, that's when I started tallying and dissecting.  I found out that there were specific questions that many of the kiddos missed, but hardly any sets of questions relating to a skill.  I chalk that up to a confusing question.  Which is a good thing.  It means that the kids may not have made the best grade possible, but it's not because they are really far behind in their learning or didn't grasp the concepts when they were being taught.  And that's a good thing to know. 

What I'm really happy about, though, is the fact that this week we can just get back to life as normal.  Starting new units, new concepts, and new skills.  Testing is over, and I can take the information I've learned from the test and apply it in to my day-to-day teaching.  

I'm ready to have my normal schedule back, and I think the kids are too.  Spending the first two hours of the day in complete silence while testing throws everything out of whack.  

Because of how much time I spent going over the tests this weekend, I wasn't able to spend near as much time on my lesson planning.  My team had all sat down Friday afternoon and planned out our week, but very rarely do I stick to everybody else's plan.  I like to throw in my own stuff, my own methods, my own resources.  Thankfully, I'd started coming up with ideas for the new units we're about to start back during our week off because of snow.  The extras that I want to use, I'll fill in during the week, as the ideas come to me.

Now that the first semester is over, I feel like we're in that downward spiral.  Time will fly by pretty quickly between now and May.  It's time to make every second count.  There's still so much to teach, and so much for the kids to learn.  Now is not the time to start rushing through stuff.  I have to keep reminding myself that.  

But, right now, I really need to think about getting ready for work.  Today, like pretty much every Monday, I'm all over the place and a little dry with my topic... but oh well.  I need to get this week started, light that fire inside of me, and better will come.  

Have a great Monday, everyone.

In a Perfect World

                         

I love the little debates I have with Hubby on Sunday mornings.  It's been an almost weekly occurrence that's happened since we first got together 8 years ago.  We've debated everything from religion to abortion to gay rights to the benefits of buying a home... and even all the way down to eating whole grain versus white bread.  

We don't get angry with each other, but 99.9% of the time, our debates are from opposing sides.  We offer up our opinions and argue our side.  We agree and disagree on those opinions and have a great discussion on ways that the problem could be solved.

I promise, you could vote for us for President, and all would be right with the country.  HA!

It's something I've always LOVED about our relationship.  We can have very "grown-up" conversations that don't result in arguments or anger or personal attacks.  We've always known that we are complete opposites, and that works for us.  One thing that NEVER happens is one side walking away like we've "won".  We just get out our opposing sides, enjoy our little debate, and then that's it.  We move on.  Most of the time, we understand each other's opposing views, but that doesn't mean we change our original opinions...it just means we are a little more understanding of the opposite view.  Which I think is very good and healthy!

Today's topic of discussion was the current issue of raising the minimum wage.  Several states have opted to raise the minimum wage, and it's caused an outpouring of support and controversy... depending on what side of the argument you sit.  Some say that a minimum wage increase is well overdue.  Others say a minimum wage increase hurts business owners and forces to them to cut expenses (often employees) in order to afford the mandated increase.  Just this morning, I read an article about a small business owner that will now have to cut some of his employees because in his state the minimum wage is being increased by $2 an hour which will require cutting back his staff of ten down to eight in order to afford it. And, he went on to explain that almost all of the people that work for him are high school dropouts with very few skills.  They were OK with what they made, because it was very hard to find a job with no high school diploma or trained skills.  Some money was better than no money... and now he's forced to decide what two members of his staff to sacrifice.

Before reading the article, I sat on the side of the argument that thought minimum wage should reflect the cost of living.  A "minimum" wage, should be the bare minimum a person can make to survive.  That includes paying rent, paying utility bills, buying food, and having the means to travel to work (and that can mean using public transportation if it's available).  It should not mean how much a person SHOULD make in order to afford the luxuries such as 500 channel satellite TV service, high-speed internet, brand new cars, top of the line smart phones, and eating out at restaurants 3-5 days a week.

And, of course, a minimum wage is going to have a big impact on each individual.  A single person making minimum wage could live a pretty happy life.  They could probably afford a few more luxuries than that of a person trying to raise a child or even a couple of children.  That's when the argument starts getting murky.  A single mother, for example, may have a lot harder time affording the bare essentials on minimum wage because instead of needing a studio apartment, they may need a two bedroom apartment.  They need more food, more clothes, higher utility bills.  And that's when things like public assistance comes in to the mix... which is a whole other topic of debate.

I know that when I had Peanut and Butter, I was making minimum wage for a short time.  My pay paid for my rent of our two bedroom apartment, put gas in my car to drive them to daycare and me to work each day, paid the utility bills, my car payment, bought a few packages of diapers, and that was about it.  There was no money left over for food.  There was no money to pay for daycare.  So, I received food stamps, and daycare assistance (the state paid for my kids to attend daycare).  With the food stamps and daycare assistance, we were OK.  We had everything we needed.  I was perfectly content shopping in thrift stores for clothes, accepting hand-me-down toys and clothes from friends and family, and going without a cell phone or a computer and even TV service.  Thankfully, my apartment came with basic cable included in the rent, so we at least had something to watch in the evenings...and the TV was given to me by my parents.  All of the furniture that furnished my apartment were bought from second-hand stores, or given to me by family.  And that was perfectly fine with me.

When our debate started, that was my taking on the situation.  I also stated, however, that just raising the minimum wage wasn't a quick fix.  In relation to the cost of living in most areas, the minimum wage could not and would not ever sit side by side.  There would be no way of raising the minimum wage to match the cost of living because the gap was far too wide.  

Hubby agreed with all of that...until...

I made a statement that most people that made minimum wage had minimum education or experience.  Minimum wage jobs were usually given to the jobs that didn't require many skills or any form of special schooling... AND if people weren't happy with making minimum wage, they should stay in school and seek receiving the set of skills they needed in order to put them in to better paying jobs.

Hubby's side of the argument was that many of those "minimum" jobs were the backbone of our society.  Those people work in the industries that many of the higher paying workers use on a daily basis, rely on, and are the people sitting at the foundation of multi-billion dollar companies.  A forced minimum wage across the board wasn't right, because depending on the company, the job, the area, etc, all the variables would produce different outcomes.  The guy in the article I read was a small business owner.  Imposing the mandated raise hurt his business and his employees.  Imposing the same rule on a HUGE corporation may mean taking some money out of that multi-million dollar salary of the CEO that sits behind a desk reaping the profits, while his "minimum wage minions" are doing the hard work that makes those profits.  They fight to survive on their measly wage, while the big-wigs get all the benefits.  And, now with the forced healthcare, those minimum wage workers are facing even more hardships because now they are forced to buy healthcare when they can't even afford their basic means of survival.

He makes very valid points.  Points I can't argue with.

He argued my side of seeking out education by reminding me of how much student loan debt I currently have.  It's a lot.  We'll be paying it off for many years to come.  And, my salary (after receiving a bachelor's degree) still puts me in the bracket of being 100% below the poverty line.  Just my salary alone.  If I was still single, trying to raise my two children, I'd still qualify for public assistance because my salary does not meet the guidelines of being above poverty level.  I was only able to make it through college by accepting assistance through federal aid, and still had to take out $25,000 in loans. Had I not received any federal aid, that amount would be closer to the $50,000 mark.  

How many people making minimum wage can afford that?

For the first time EVER, he's absolutely, 100% right.  I can't sit here and complain that people making minimum wage and not liking it should get out and get a college education if they want more money.  Because most of them just can't afford to go to college.  And student loans are great, but will their outcome career make them enough to pay off all those loans and put them any better off than they were before?  They may make a few extra bucks an hour, but they'd be spending that money paying off all their loans, so it would be several years before they really started noticing a difference in their lives.

I say, in a perfect world, community college would be a public school program.  Just like our public schools for K-12.  After high school, if a person wants to earn specialized career training (an equivalent to an associate's degree), they could do it for free.  For anyone that wants to go on and receive a bachelor's degree or higher, would be able to take all their prerequisites at the community college level, and would then only need to pay for university for two years instead of four.  Decreasing their student loan amount by half (which is similar to what I did, my first two years were paid for and then I had to pay for the last two).  But, instead of paying for tuition and room and board, you paid one or the other. If you wanted to live on campus, you paid the expenses to do so... but your tuition would be free.  As long as you were attending classes, and keeping your GPA above a certain level, you just paid the fees associated with living on campus and you were good.  If you chose to live off campus, then you paid the equivalent in tuition costs.  One or the other, but not both.  Making the college experience a LOT more affordable.

But what about the fact that colleges wouldn't be able to operate with all that money now disappearing?  

Well, let me point out that I'm a teacher.  I have a bachelor's degree, yet my salary still sits below the poverty line.  College professors have received much more schooling, so they should be paid more.  But, is it reasonable that a football coach make MILLIONS of dollars a year?  Take a second to research the average salary for a college football coach...or basketball coach too for that matter.  Just scroll through some of these that I found for you...

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/college/salaries/

Is it reasonable for colleges to spend upwards of $50,000,000 on sporting complexes?  

And I'm not just picking on sports.  I'm just making a point on where some of the money goes from college tuition.  But, many of the sporting students are attending school on a full-ride scholarship.  Meaning, it's not costing them a penny to attend college, as long as they agree to keep playing sports.  Which means, those people not playing sports and are just in college to get their degrees are having to pay full price for their future.  And, yes, there are academic scholarships available.  But, shouldn't it be a little more easier for those people that don't get accepted in to college with a scholarship?

A football coach might have to bring his salary down to the hundred thousands instead of the millions if students could get a 50% decrease in their tuition.  Isn't it more important that we are training and providing better opportunities for ALL of our students, instead of the ones that could go on and become famous sport players?  

Then there comes the argument that the economy would suffer because more people would be educated and expecting more money due to their college experience.  And, yes, I've actually heard this argument.  The argument stated that if college was made more accessible to ALL members of society, it would lower the credit of said experience and thus lower the worth.  

Really?

We sure don't want too many lawyers, doctors, teachers, business owners, entrepreneurs, architects, etc...right?  That would be anarchy!!  

What a load of bologna!  More education means more opportunity.  New businesses, more jobs, more educated people having a say in our country and helping fix some of the problems.  

Got too many people becoming doctors?  Oh no!! We might have to reevaluate our medical system and put some of them to work in a public sector, meaning opening clinics and hospitals that are focused on treating the poor who don't have the means to pay for private doctors and hospitals.. that would be available to those people who can afford those things.  Heaven forbid we end up with a medical field that figures out a way to eliminate the need for medical insurance, and provides a way of offering medical services without using medical insurance coverage as a guide.  That actually could decrease the pay of doctors, but might actually inspire people in to the field who's desire is to heal people rather than how much money they could make.  (You know, like teachers.. HA!) 

Too many lawyers?  That means more politicians.  Yikes!! A more fierce competition for a political seat, meaning proving that change will come instead of just promising it.  We want proof!! Cause there will be plenty more people to take your place if you don't follow through.  Or maybe more law experts that can tackle our broken justice system and actually find ways to fix it.

Too many teachers?  Well, that would require more schools and forcing teachers that are teaching 25-30 kids a class into lowering their student-teacher ratio and completely eliminate the overcrowding situation.  That's just disaster waiting to happen.  Or worse yet, we open up more free community colleges and train those extra teachers to teach there.

More business owners and entrepreneurs?  Do we really need any more businesses?  That would mean a higher chance of keeping our production and workforce right here in our country.  New technology and innovation?  Oh goodness, no!!  The last thing we need is more competition in the business world, which means lowering prices on goods and services to people.  Small business is just trouble waiting to happen...we all know that big box is the way to go.  Big corporations run the show and the country.. why on earth would we want to increase the small business industry until there's at least some kind of fight to those giant companies.

And, I could go on.

At the end of the day, there will still be those people who have no interest whatsoever about going to school.  There will still be people who are perfectly content working in a "minimum" wage job.  But maybe, just maybe, they would have a choice in the matter.  The people that work in those jobs that have dreams to go to school and become something they've always wanted to be might just have a chance.  

Just think about how much money would be saved if more people were making more money putting them out of the public assistance bracket?  What could we do with all that tax money?  

And, if a person is perfectly content working minimum wage and getting public assistance..then they should get it.  But, no more of this sitting around not even trying to get a job and just living off the state's money.  No effort?  No assistance!

Like the guy said in that article this morning, some money is better than no money.  If you can get a job that pays for rent and utilities, but you still need food assistance...you should have it.  But, you don't get your housing and utilities paid for just because you're "above" flipping burgers.  And I know that's a loaded statement.  I know there are MANY people out there living on assistance that are trying to do what they can for their families...I am in no way directing that last statement to any of them.

At the end of the day, I truly believe that education... MORE education could really fix many of the problems this country is dealing with.  But, it has to be easier to get the education.  

I have met so many people that have always wanted to go to college, better their lives, but it's just not possible for them.  They don't qualify for aid, or the thought of borrowing $20,000+ a year to pay for it is far too overwhelming for them to wrap their heads around.  

Is my opinion the fix all to the system?  Of course not.  I'm sure there are many holes I'm missing.  Just as I'm typing I'm already thinking about the people that are raising kids, who want to go to school, but have to work full time and couldn't possibly figure out a way to take classes, pay for them, and hold down a job that supports their family in the process.  

But, my original point is raising the minimum wage isn't the only answer to a very broken system.  There's so much that could be done to better our society, better our country... and I truly believe that any chance of fixing them all boils down to EDUCATION. More of it.  

That's why, I can only hope that the small impact I'm making on my students each day really influences them to keep going with their education, reaching for the sky, holding on to their dreams.  Because the people that hold the keys to all of our problems are out there...maybe their currently in 4th grade, or 10th grade, or haven't even been born yet.  But, if those people aren't given the chance to fulfill their potential, we'll never get them to do what they've been put on this earth to do.  We have to open up the roads to let their potential shine.  

And, I sleep better at night knowing that I'm one of those people that are trying with all my might to mold our future generation.

A Fun, Family Weekend Planned... With Work on the Side

Can definitely tell I'm back at work, just by the fact that I was up at 8AM this morning...after going to bed after midnight last night.  This time last weekend, I was sleeping in until at least 10AM. But, my body is starting to get back in to normal mode, and I'm shocked that I even got 8 hours of sleep.  Several nights this week, I've been getting 5-6 hours.  That's not good, though, and the weekends give me a chance to play a little catch-up.

When I left my classroom yesterday evening, you would have thought I was going away for a weekend vacation.  My laptop bag, my teacher bag full to the absolute brim, and another tote bag that I had to use and fill because there wasn't enough room in my teacher bag.  But, that's what happens when I have 40 mock MAP test booklets to go through and grade, lesson plans to finalize, and some grading to bring home.  

And, as soon as I got home last night, I went straight to work.  The plan was to get a bulk of the work done last night so that I could enjoy the weekend.  Well, I worked for about 4 hours and barely made a dent in how much I have to do... so I guess I'll be doing the same thing tonight and then finishing up tomorrow.  I guess it's a good thing I didn't decide to procrastinate this weekend, or I wouldn't be getting any sleep Sunday night. 

After getting all the tests graded, I felt kinda torn about the scores.  When there are over 60 questions on each test (the math had 75), and I start to see 20, 25, and even 30 questions missed I got a little panicky.  But, when I really went in and looked at the majority of the missed questions, I realized that they were mostly over content we haven't yet covered.  So, it's not surprising that the kiddos aren't going to do very well on them.  For the most part, my kids didn't do too bad.  They seem to have mostly grasped the standards that we've covered the first half of the school year, and that's a good thing.

I'm one of those weird people that actually enjoys going through data.  Which is basically what the mock MAP test is all about.  Analyzing and plotting the areas of concern versus areas of mastery.  What do my kids know and what do they need to know?  And I get all cookoo-crazy about making spreadsheets and graphs and organizers to help translate the data into a plan of action for the few months I have left to get 'er done.  

My plan for this week is to align all the non-covered questions with content area that's still to come, create small groups to help the students that need practice with covered standards, and incorporate practice and review anywhere else I can.  And, you know, that's all on top of getting through the standards that weren't tested on this particular test but still need attention and covering.

But, this kinda stuff fuels my fire.  I start getting creative and passionate about making sure that my kiddos aren't spending the next four months practicing for that test... but are learning what they need to know so that when they see a question relating to whatever it is we've learned, they can think back to that awesome lesson and activity they did to learn it.  

On top of all the work I have planned for this weekend, I am also having all of my family over today to celebrate my little brother's birthday.  His birthday was actually on Thursday, but today is when we'll celebrate.  He's now 17 years old.  The youngest of my siblings is only a year away from being an adult.  Yet, we're going to celebrate the same way we have for 17 years.  By being together, having a cake, and just enjoying each other's company.  I have absolutely no idea what the actual "plan" for the day is yet, but I know that they are all coming over around lunch time.  

My mom is bringing some food with her, and we're providing some stuff, and we'll just have a little "help yourself" lunch followed by cake.  The kids will probably play games and video games while the adults sit around and chat.  That's usually how it goes, so I don't see it being any different just because we're celebrating at my house instead of my parent's house... which is usually where we would go.  But, I'm happy they are coming to me.  I actually like entertaining and I don't get to do it near as often as I'd like.

Speaking of entertaining, this is going to sound so silly but something pretty MAJOR happened Thursday night.  I got invited to a Girls' Night Out with a couple of gals from work!!  Anyone that hasn't read my blog for very long, might not understand the power behind the gesture.

Short recap: I've always felt like I've never really been able to "bond" with the people I work with.  Meaning, we are all friendly enough while at work, but I never really get included in anything that happens outside the work place.  I have always LONGED for some friendships to blossom that would involve actually doing stuff outside the workplace, like what actual friends do.  So, that there is a solid difference between co-workers and friendship.  I know that friendship really isn't measured by where you spend time together, but I have always felt that a stronger friendship is built when there's a crossover between the workplace and life outside of work.  

I have known for the past couple of months that a strong friendship has been building with one of my co-workers.  We've spent a great deal of time talking at work, and then our conversations spill over in to the evening hours via Facebook.  Even though we haven't actually spent any time together outside of work, I have been able to talk to her about stuff I don't share with other people and never feel that slight uneasy feeling like she's just being polite and nice to me because she has to. Which is a very bad habit I have, by the way.  

Anywho, getting back on track, I received an invite to go out for a karaoke night with a couple of people I work with in February and I have never been more happy.  I look at it as a small footstep on the path of building some strong bonds with some of my co-workers.

Now, I just want to mention that everything I just said has nothing to do with the ladies I work with in my grade level.  I've felt a strong bond with them since day one, and I truly consider them my close friends.  My family away from my family, even.  Everything I was explaining about being friendly with co-workers was directed more towards the people I don't work as closely with each day.

Wanted to throw that out there so there wasn't any confusion.  

What it all really boils down to is the fact that I have some self-esteem issues about myself, and getting that invite helped repair some of the cracks.  I am a very sociable person, who is missing the major ingredient: People to socialize with.  That make sense?

But, anyways, can't really get in to any more of that right now.  I have to finish cleaning my house in preparation for my parents and their army of kids to mess it up again.  HA! Just kidding.  Not really.

Have a great Saturday, everyone!!

Finally Friday!!

                             

Being that this was my first full week back to work since the middle of December, I feel kinda bad being so happy that it's Friday.  I mean, because I'm so tired and feel like this has been one of the longest weeks ever.

But, I know I am so tired and ready for the weekend because after such a long break, my body just isn't used to getting up so early and working so hard.

Yesterday was like night and day compared to what I went through on Wednesday.  Which makes sense being that I totally blamed the kids' craziness on the full moon Wednesday.  Wednesday they wouldn't stop talking, stay in their seats, stand in line quietly, or let me get a sentence out of my mouth without blurting out random questions.  Yesterday,  I didn't have to ask them one time to stop talking.  

Weird, right?

The kids came in yesterday morning, got out a book to read, and sat there almost silently reading.  When we went to lunch, they got in line and stood there without a single word.  We were able to grade the portion of the mock MAP test that we took without any interruptions or questons that had absolutely nothing to do with what we were doing.  In fact, they asked plenty of amazing questions about what the test had asked and how they had worked the problems.  During their specials class, they earned a Tiger Paw (a reward that can be traded in for extra recess after receiving so many) for their hard work.  Which is a big deal, because it just so happened to be a special where they usually have a hard time controlling the chatter.  

It was AWESOME!!

I made sure to acknowledge their hard work and thank them for being so quiet and asking such great questions.  You can never go wrong with positive reinforcement.  

I'm ready for today to be over simply because we can finish up the mock MAP and get back to "life as usual" next week.  Real lesson plans, real lessons, real learning.  

I'll be crunching all the numbers and doing my analysis over the mock MAP this weekend, so I can build my lesson plans to cover the areas the students need additional help with.  Even though I haven't gone over each test, the ones that I have looked at didn't do too bad.  Hopefully that means I'm doing something right, and the kids are learning what they need to learn.  Or, they are extremely lucky when it comes to selecting the write answer.  It's one of the reasons I'm not a big fan of multiple choice... because it doesn't really give the kids a real chance to show me what they know.

If I had my way, I would hardly ever use multiple choice. I'd much rather have my students answer questions showing me the work they do for math, or explaining their answers for reading.  Because sometimes it's not just about what answer they have, but how they came to the answer.  

It's a lot easier to fix an issue if I know a student is getting multiplication problems wrong because they are adding instead of multiplying.  It's a lot easier to understand what I need to focus on if a student isn't identifying the main idea of a passage because they are confusing it with a topic sentence of a paragraph in the passage.  

Taking a test like that would take a lot longer, but would give me SOOOOO much more information and end up making my job easier in the long run.  

It's what I did last year.  Most of the tests I used during the regular lesson time were tests I created.  I required short answer and long answers, and if I used a multiple choice question I always had a place for the student to tell me why they selected that answer.  I was able to go through those tests and pinpoint exactly what was causing wrong answers, and then fix the issue.  

By just knowing that a student is struggling with multiplication means that I kinda have to start at the beginning and go over everything again, when the whole time the issue may just be something as simple as not regrouping correctly or trouble with a particular multiplication fact family.  

Yesterday, for example, I noticed that a student had gotten a pretty tough question right.  Something we haven't covered yet, and most of the class missed.  And, I can say that I had absolutely no idea how the student got the answer right.  So, I asked him.  Know what he said?  That answer looked right.  When I asked him to explain further, he couldn't.  So, that tells me he doesn't know how to do the problem, he just guessed and got lucky.  

I guess it's a good thing it was a problem over a topic we haven't covered yet, because at least he'll be learning about it soon enough. 

I'm a big proponent of small groups and differentiation.  Meaning, I don't like to teach something to kids who already know it so I like to create groups of kids that need help with a certain skill and give the others something to work on that is at a deeper level, or applying the skill to different areas.  Working in small groups allows a better chance that students are getting the attention they need, rather than teaching all 20+ kids the same skills each day and hoping that they are all getting it.  

The mock MAP results will help me create my new groups going forward, and thankfully I've gotten to know my kids well enough that I can just use the results as a guide.  I will probably be able to know if a student knew the answer or guessed correctly.  

But, I think that I might go back to creating some assignments that have more opportunity for explaining why or how they got an answer.  

In fact, I have all kinds of ideas about some of the ways I teach certain areas that I want to try out.  

Right now, though, I need to get through today and then I can hit the ground running this weekend to start putting my plans in to affect.

Also this weekend, my family are coming over for a small birthday celebration for my brother.  That should be fun... although I have absolutely NO idea what we're going to do.  I'm sure I'll think of something.

Better go get ready...it's that time.

The Full Moon Curse

                          

I'm not really a superstitious person.  

I don't get all freaked out when I see a black cat pass in front of me.  It doesn't bother me to carry on a normal day on Friday the 13th.  I think it's kinda gross to carry around a rabbit's foot.  And I definitely don't go looking for a pot of gold at the end of rainbows.  

However, there's one superstition that no matter how much I try to call bologna on, it continues to prove me wrong.

The curse of the full moon.

For years, I've heard teachers tell me that during a full moon, the students will be different.  Crazy hyper, loud, unfocused, hard to control.  They seem to have an energy surging through them that's almost supernatural.  The quietest kids will become loud and obnoxious.  The loud kids will become even louder.  No matter what a teacher does, say, or reacts with, it doesn't affect the student's behavior one bit until the full moon is over.

And, every time those teachers have had the opportunity to prove their point, I've had to agree with them.  

Now, I no longer get to agree with them, I get to see it firsthand and try and deal with it.

On Monday, I knew it was going to be a tough transition for the kids to come back to school.  They had been gone for three weeks - a week longer than they were supposed to be gone.  I expected some excitement, some chattiness, as friends reunited and had to fill in all the details about their Christmas and their break.  That was totally understandable and explainable.

However, if you remember, I also pointed out a few days ago that it's a usual occurrence that students will return back from winter break more mature, more focused, and some of the behavioral "kinks" have magically worked themselves out with the changing of the new year.

However, this week has seen the arrival of a full moon.

Yesterday was one of the most craziest days I've dealt with all school year.  No matter what I said or did, the kids just couldn't stop talking.  I'd be in mid-sentence, and students would just blurt out random thoughts or questions.  I would be trying to explain something, and they were all having sidebar conversations completely ignoring what I had to say.  It was like I wasn't even in the room most of the day.

I have made a point of "training" my kids my expectations when it comes to noise level both when I'm in the room and if I have to step out for one reason or another.  If I do have to step out of the room, they will continue working as if I was still standing right there next to them.  I've received countless compliments about how quietly my kids will work if I'm not in the room.  I've received countless compliments about how focused and hardworking they are when I am in the room.  

But yesterday, I could have been dancing on the desks and that probably wouldn't have phased them a bit while they continued their endless chatter.

Now, during our testing time, the kids were very quiet.  They know that during our mock MAP test, it has to be absolutely silent.  There is no talking AT ALL.  If they have a question, they must raise their hand and then whisper the question to me when I approach them.  That they did with no problem.

Yet, the minute the test was over...and I mean the very second the buzzer went off indicating a portion of the test was over...the flood gates of chatter opened up in full force.

I can honestly say that I have NEVER uttered the words "please stop talking and listen" so many times in one single day.  In fact, I think I said it more yesterday than I have the entire school year combined.  And what made it even more infuriating was the fact that none of the usual consequences phased them a bit.

I use behavior techniques such as table points and clip pulls.  If tables are all working quietly, or together, or follow directions, or are the fastest and quietest at transitioning, they earn a table point.  They lose one if any of the opposite happens.  The table that has the most points at the end of the week earns a prize.

Individual students that don't follow directions have a clip that they pull that earns them increasing consequences.  The first pull is a verbal warning, the second pull means missing 5 minutes of recess, the third pull is 15 minutes of recess, and the last consequence is a referral to the office or a note being sent home to a parent. 

Very rarely do any of my kids make it past the 5 minutes of recess missed stage before their behavior makes a quick turnaround.  

But yesterday?  I ended up taking every single table point away that had been earned this week, and had several kids pull their clips..and it didn't change a single thing.  Again, it was like they didn't even notice me taking the points away and pulling the clip was more like doing a tedious chore rather than a swift reminder to curb the banter.

Once our test was over, we began the process of grading and reviewing the test.  Something that normally goes pretty smoothly.  Last year, it was a time that the class and I discussed how the answers could have been found, shared strategies for getting through problems they didn't understand, and finding out what their score meant in terms of their current progress.

Yesterday, it was more like crowd control.  Each question started a discussion, alright, that had absolutely NOTHING to do with the question, the test, or anything related to such.  The minute I gave the right answer....there was an eruption of talking and laughing and craziness.

A process that would normally take about 20-30 minutes ended up taking over an hour...and only because towards the end I gave up trying to explain and discuss the questions and just started reading out the answers.

After lunch, when we got back in to our regular learning mode (or supposed to), I couldn't go a single minute without being interrupted while I was trying to teach a math lesson.  Once I did finally get them through the explanation and gave them their assignment, I had to constantly stay on their case about doing the work.  That there would be no homework, it was to be done in class.  And I had to keep decreasing the time I was giving them, because it was the only way to refocus them...for all of five minutes.

I stepped in to the hallway to hang something on the bulletin board, and from the hallway it sounded like I was having a class party.  I had to keep having kids pull their clips because I could hear them, then the minute I stepped out again... a roar of noise.  I decided to give up trying to step out.  

I think the reason I had such a hard time with it is because I pride myself on my classroom management.  I may not be the strongest math teacher, I may be lacking in my time management skills, but one thing you can bet your last dollar on is that the classroom management in my classroom is strong.  Extremely strong.

My kids follow the routines and procedures with precision and perfection.  They know exactly what's expected of them, or get clarification if they're not sure.  They know when they can talk and when they can't.  They know if the noise level is getting a little too high with a simple look by me.  They know when they are allowed to get out of their seats and when they need to stay seated.  

They know and they show.  

Normally.

Except for yesterday.  When it was more like I was a substitute that had never set foot in to a classroom before.  

And even that's not a good comparison, because even when I have a sub I get nothing but good reports about how well behaved they are.

It's the full moon curse, I tell ya!!  

After going through the day I had yesterday, I can say with 100% certainty that there's some truth behind the superstition.  There has to be be.  I can't think of any other explanation.

Sure, people might say it's because they had to sit so quietly during testing.  The test consisted of two 26 minute sections.  So, they had to be silent for a whole 52 minutes.  Our normal math and reading tests last longer than that.  Some might say it's because of the extended break.  But, we got an unexpected week off two weeks before Christmas break.  When they came back, they were a little rambunctious for all of the first 30 minutes and then life went back to normal.

Nope.  I'm convinced it's the full moon.  

It has to be.

For my sanity's sake.

I'm starting today off certain that it will be better.  We start another portion of the test today, and I'm curious to see how grading that will go. 

We shall see.