Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Blast From the Past

Welp, I had a great ME day yesterday.  I finished up my blogging, jumped in the shower, got dressed, and headed out in to the world for groceries... and lots of them.

I'd almost forgotten how nice it was to just walk around a grocery store without kids asking for stuff, scanning through a list to make sure you've got everything only to realize that you've forgotten something in the back of the store and walk alway the back, and not having to compete with weekend crowds.  It was an enjoyable grocery shopping experience - and I don't get to say that too often.  I don't think many people do.

A couple of hours and $250 later, my trunk was stuffed to the max with a week's worth of groceries.. maybe a few days more.  Chicken and pork loin and beef and fish and veggies and sides.  Also some stuff for lunches and breakfasts, even though we won't be eating them here after Wednesday for a couple of weeks.

Once I got home and unloaded everything, I was a hot mess.  It finally got in to a summer like temp here yesterday, so there was only one place I wanted to be after that: The pool.  The kids and I swam for a while with my favorite tunes blasting from the speakers that Hubby hooked up.  It's so nice to have some music while we're out there.  I swam several laps, took a break by lounging in pool lounger, then went back to swimming laps.  It felt amazing.  I'm thinking that's going to be a fast daily routine if the weather stays as hot or hotter than it was yesterday.

Hubby's brother and sister came over once I was out of the pool, so I cooked up a huge pot of spaghetti and fixed some garlic bread for everyone.  A cheap meal when feeding seven people.  Everyone enjoyed it, and after stacking the dishwasher and cleaning up the kitchen I was done for the day.

So, there's my recap of my Me day... but not what I really wanted to blog about today.

After I finished up blogging, yesterday morning, I took a few minutes to read through some blogs... like I usually do.  I noticed that my brother-in-law had started a blog, so I wanted to check it out.  It's a Wordpress blog, and when I clicked on the link, it asked for my username and password.  I knew that I had created a Wordpress account at some point... but when I got in to my account, I discovered something I'd totally forgotten about.

Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman is still alive.

In Wordpress format.  

Apparently, back in 2011, when I was kicking butt and taking names in exercising and losing weight, I tried converting my blog in to a Wordpress blog.  I vaguely remember a time when I was having issues with Blogger, and thought it might be better to switch to a different provider.  Apparently, Blogger fixed the issues I was having... or I didn't want to lose all of my followers... because once I uploaded all my past posts over there, I never did anything else with that blog.

I don't care what anyone says, Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman was my greatest blogging persona.  I had a mission, purpose, and drive that gained interest from many weight loss bloggers and people on the hunt for a blog that offered real life results, struggles, and commitment with weight loss.  And I think I delivered when I blogged as The Mad, Fat Woman.  

Once I started messing around with changing the name of my blog, not once but twice, I started to change right along with my blog.  I no longer held the same passion and drive.  I no longer offered the same insights and commitments.  I teeter tottered so much between losing weight and not losing weight, that it was enough to make anyone's head spin.

Don't get me wrong.  I enjoy my blogging very much right here on this blog.  This is my life blog... what happens day in and day out as a fiancé, mother, and teacher.  But a lot is missing from this blog that I had when I was the Mad, Fat Woman.  My followers... the comments... the support... the community feeling.  I still have a few faithful followers that have followed me around as I've made all the changes.. and to those people I'm very grateful for their support... but it's still not the same.  I used to be involved with other bloggers on a more personal level, I was involved with the happenings and goings on in the weight loss world.  I no longer feel I have that.  I'm out of the loop... another name on the wall that fell off the weight loss train and stayed and took up the life of blogging in a new town.  

Apart of me wants that old feeling back again.  The feeling I had when I blogged constantly about my weight loss progress, both good and bad.  I somehow managed to write for over a year about nothing but weight loss, and always felt like my writing had meaning and a set purpose.  It was much harder when I wasn't having that much success, which sometimes pushed me harder to do what I needed to do - just so I had something to write about.  

But then, I just gave up.  I hung up my Mad, Fat Woman jacket and said goodbye, thinking it was gone forever.  

And then a quick blast from the past tells me... she's not dead.  She's not gone.  She's alive, but lying dormant on another blogging host.  

Is it a sign?

Did I see it, yesterday, because I have been wanting to get back to my weight loss lifestyle but not sure how to approach it now that I've made so many changes here?

I can't say anything for sure... but I have a feeling I'm going to be dusting off some cyber cobwebs pretty soon.  

I'm not naive enough to believe that a certain blog was the reason I had so much success in my weight loss efforts.  I'm not stupid enough to think that just because I go back to blogging as the person that gave me the most success is going to have the same results... maybe even better results.  But, I do know with utmost certainty that when I said goodbye to Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman I said goodbye to that girl that blogged with the only purpose of losing weight and sharing the experiences as each pound fell off.  

I have a lot to think about.  

But, right now isn't that time to think about it.  Butter has a doctor's appointment in an hour and I'm still sitting here in my pajamas.  Better think about getting ready to take him.

But, I will ask you all.  If there are any of you out there that knew me as The Mad, Fat Woman and followed me here...what do you think?  Do you think I might see more success if I think about weight loss blogging again?  Do you think I've changed from who I was then to who I am now?

You're insights are greatly appreciated.

And for the record, if I do dust off the old blog, I won't be leaving this one.  This will stay my day to day life - that blog would be strictly weight loss.  But, I'm very curious to see what people think... especially those people that have been wonderful enough to stick with me for all these years.

Till next time...


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