A few months ago, my mind got hacked - and I've been fighting ever since to take back control. I got this nasty virus that sucks humor, excitement, and motivation out of my blog posts and replaces it with whining, ranting, and negative rambles.
After months of trying to dispel this horrible virus from my mind....last night, I think I might just have done it.
I decided to run this anti-virus software called LASEB (Leave All Sad Emotions Behind).
I've ran the anti-virus 4 times this week, and finally I think it's finally taken hold. My mind is clearer, I don't feel any negativity....I feel like, well...me.
I got the first sign that the anti-virus is working last night. I was sitting on the couch..close to 7pm. I had eaten dinner at 5pm, but the "munchies" were setting in. Without hesitation, I jumped up, threw on my running clothes and headed straight for the track.
When I got to the track, and started my warm-up 1/4 mile walk - I told myself that I was going to do sprints... like I had done the past two runs. Then when I finished the walk, I started jogging...not sprinting. I jogged past the first straight, around the curve, down the other straight - and back to the 1/4 start point.
I realized that tonight was a night for serious defrag...longer, slower jogs....to really knock some junk out of my system.
As I was running, I couldn't have asked for better songs to play on my iPhone. I listened to the words, I sung along in my head. I could literally feel the negativity being sucked out of me with every word, every tune, every step on the concrete.
After 2 miles, I decided to walk - just walk. I thought about what's been going on with me the past few months. I thought about how I had been transformed into this person that does nothing but complain or live in regrets. That's not who I am. I am a powerful person - I take stress by the horns, and tackle it down. I don't do it with emotional eating. I don't do it with pity parties. I do it with running.
This virus that has been stuck in me for the past few months - it allowed the complaining, it processed emotions with emotional eating, it definitely didn't want to handle stress or frustration with running.
I woke up this morning feeling - different. Clear minded, excited about my day, ready to tackle a work-out....the way the old me used to wake up. I grabbed my cup of coffee, my Chobani, and my Fiber One bar and sat down here.
Instead of having a hard time wondering what to write about - my mind was clear to let whatever came to my mind flow from my fingers....and this is what you got. The old me. The free me. The warrior, the fighter.. the girl that never gives up.
Already this morning, I've been planning some work-outs for the rest of the week. Tomorrow morning? Yoga. Oh, how I've missed my yoga. What an absolutely wonderful way to start the day.
Today? I actually want to do some strength training. Did you hear that?? I WANT to do strength training... Yikes!! Strength training - in the past - has always been the exercise that I've loathed. I hate lifting weights... but today? I want to lift weights. I want my muscles to fail. I want to feel pain - and not in a bad way.. in a GOOD way. Soreness, reaping from my arms and legs telling me I've pushed myself. Yes!
Today is a new day, my friends.
My name is Joanna. I'm known at times as being a mad, fat woman. The past few months have really put the "mad" into the mad, fat woman. Well, I'm back. The old me. I'm sorry I've been gone so long.
Till next time. ;)
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