I've been lost.
I've been broken.
For the past two months, I lost my edge...I don't know where it went.
Not knowing where to look or what to do, I made myself a promise yesterday....NO MATTER WHAT, I was going to the track. Whether I ran or I walked - I was going to do something.
Yesterday was a busy day for me...I took Butter to school, took Jelly to two different parks, picked Butter up from school, went to Wal-Mart and then finally came home. That's when the excuses started... I'm tired...It's so hot outside....Got to get dinner ready....Got to eat dinner.
At 6PM, dinner was finished and Jelly was in the bath. She was
Let me note here - there's nothing wrong with that....I wanted to be home with her, that's why I stopped working....just need to mention it to get my point across.
So, I decided right there on the spot - as soon as she was out of the bath I was going....and I went. Something just sparked in me - I needed the time alone, it wasn't about the running. Running is my de-stress time - it's the time I clear my mind and enjoy music in my ears and wind on my face ALONE.
When I got to the track there were a lot of people there...the local soccer team were warming up for a game. Every other time I've shown up and they were there - I left. Not this time. I didn't care who was there, who was watching me...I needed to do this.
I started off walking a 1/4 mile loop...then I jogged a 1/4 mile...that was tough. It's amazing what a couple of weeks away will do. A little over a month ago, I could run 1/2 mile with no worries - it was tough trying to finish 1/4 mile...but I finished it. Then I walked a lap again...then jogged a lap...then walked...and so on. I just kept at it until the sweat was pouring from my face, my legs were screaming...and before I knew it, I'd gone 2 miles...8 laps. It was then I decided to turn my distance tracker off and just slowly walk a lap - to cool down, and to just relax.
When I was finished, I was surging with emotion. Why had I been gone so long? Why had I practically given up? Why did I forget what it felt like to run? It all came flooding back to me - and my drive was back...I could feel it. I was back.
Driving home, I felt so great. Despite it taking 34 minutes to complete 2 miles - I was OK with that. I walked half of it, so it's not like I was running for speed. I made a deal with myself...that brings me to my monthly Mantra for June...
Nike were on to something when they came up with this logo. For the next month, it's going to be my logo, too. I realized that no matter what the excuses - if I Just Do It, I'll feel so much happier. The hardest part is making myself do it - then, once I do, I'm thankful.
So, all this month, when I feel like I don't want to do something....if I'm having a hard time getting motivation...I'm going to call upon the Nike Gods and tell myself "Just Do It".
I'm ready for a new challenge. I'm ready to take the bull by the horns and make up for lost time. I'm ready to finally accomplish my goals - set new goals - and pick up where I left off.
I'm ready to JUST DO IT!!
Till next time. ;)
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