Thursday, March 29, 2012

Biggest Loser Recap - Week 13... Exercise is Boring!

Dear Diary...

If you haven't watched this week's episode of BL, then you have two choices.  A) You can stop reading right now, go find it on Hulu or wherever it is you plan on watching it and watch it yourself or B) Don't waste your time and just read what I have to say about it.

Yes, this is an official spoiler alert.  Don't wait until you get to the end of the post to complain that I gave anything away.  I'm telling you I'm going to give information out right now!!

OK, so it was week 13 on the ranch.  Those contestants have been doing this for 13 weeks - and I realize that I have officially wasted approximately 20 hours of my life on this season.  Twenty hours!  That's almost an entire day to watch a show that provides me absolutely no motivation and is nothing but whiny babies and EXCUSES!  How can they possibly call this season No Excuses?  If this is what the Biggest Loser is going to continue to be about - then they can just send a video camera to my house, pay me some money, and I'll let America watch me whine and cry and not put forth the amount of effort needed to realize that I have a once in a lifetime opportunity to change my life forever.

Anyway, back to the show.

The show started off with a challenge.  Each contestant had to load 150 boxes of Newman's salad dressing on to a truck.  Did you know that the Newman company donates all of their profits to charity?  Neither did I!  I don't use Newman's dressings because I always thought them to be a little too expensive - I may have to reconsider that, now that I know that tidbit of information.  Anywho, the boxes they had to load.  Seventy-five of the boxes weighted 20lbs and seventy-five weighed 15lbs.  The winner received 30,000+ pounds of food for their hometown food pantry, and a 1lb advantage on the scale. 

Kim and Megan started out really strong.  I knew right away, though, that Mark was going to be the one that would sneak in with a victory on this one.  He decided to start with the heavy boxes first.  He knew that starting with the heavy boxes would give him an advantage to move faster at the end.  He was right.  Kim was about 10 boxes in front for most of the competition - but once she got to the heavier boxes, she started to slow down.  It was Mark who took the victory.

Allison told the contestants that if the rest of them completed their challenge, Newman's would donate a truck load of groceries to each of their home towns.  So, for probably the first time this entire season - they all helped each other out to load the remaining trucks.

Mark then went on and on about how much the win meant to him because he just loves to help out charities and contribute to causes - blah, blah, blah.  Yeah, he likes to help out - when there's something in it for him.  You'll see why I make that very snide remark towards the end.

The rest of the show was focused on the excuse Exercise is Boring.  Dolvett took Jeremy, Mark, Buddy, and Kim to a Zumba dance class.  It was actually quite entertaining to watch them dance.  Not a single one of them have any rhythm whatsoever, but they had fun with it.  Bob took Chris, Megan, and Conda on a bike ride.  Not as fun as Zumba, apparently, because Conda whined and complained the whole time - shocker, right?

The next challenge was a cooking challenge.  The contestants had seven minutes in a grocery store to pick their ingredients and then 20 minutes to cook a healthy meal for three judges.  The winner would pick up $1000 for every pound they lost this week on the scale.  The three judges were contestants from last season.   

Jeremy sucked big time.  He made some silly concoction of bread with a jelly and sour cream spread, cooked bananas and apples.  Megan made a really nice looking tilapia salad - but it had a lot of sodium in it.  Buddy made a chicken salad - but goofed by using full fat mayo.  Mark made a grilled chicken salad - but goofed by adding too much feta cheese.  Conda made a cabbage soup - she was sure she would win, and I have to admit it looked pretty good, and was low in calories.  Kim made a stuffed mushroom with cheese and lean steak.  Chris made a broccoli and cheese stuffed chicken breast - that was still raw when she was finished.  Of course, she whined and cried that she didn't have enough time, and there wasn't enough room in the kitchen to prepare, etc. 

I loved this challenge once it was time to reveal the results.  I almost danced around my living room.  There was Conda with a big smile on her face - just sure she had it in the bag.  And then?  Kim won!  I was ecstatic.  The first bit of real justice that's happened all freakin' season! 

Vinny, one of the judges, then proceeded to call Chris out on the fact that she seemed to use a lot of excuses for her meal.  It was classic.  Chris, of course, was pissed!  She disappeared to the gym to pout.  Vinny tried to talk to her, and explain that he was just voicing his observations - but she was so pissed, it didn't really seem to sink in very much.

There was a lot of focus on Bob helping Megan, this week.  He made her do a video diary, to help keep her accountable.  He had her doing all kinds of crazy stuff in the last chance work-out, too.  This much attention has become a sure sign of someone's fate. 

So, let's get to the weigh-in.  This week, I didn't write down all of the results.  I do know that Kim lost 7lbs, earning her $7000 from the cooking challenge.  I was so happy for her.  I can't believe that woman is still pulling such crazy numbers - especially now that she's so small.  Wanna know how much Mark lost?  Nothing!  Nada!! Zip!  He didn't lose a single pound - and with his 1lb advantage, it was a straight shot to below the yellow line.

The others did pretty well.  Buddy looked to be the one going down with Mark, until Megan stepped on the scale.  She needed to lose 5lbs to be safe.  So, what did she lose? 4lbs.  Just one pound shy of sending either Mark or Buddy home. 

Now, here comes the part where I slam in to Mark's false persona of wanting to help people - and be charitable - and all that bull crap.  Because that's what it is.  Mark is down to 200lbs.  He has hardly any weight left to lose.  He also lost ZERO pounds this week.  Megan, who finally had a breakthrough this week, lost 4lbs and worked her behind off all week.  Do you think Mark would be charitable, and see how much Megan still needs to be there - and he doesn't?  Of course not!  That's how much Mark cares about helping others.  He doesn't - unless there's something in it for him!

Everyone else voted for Megan because they said Mark had worked harder the rest of the season.  Ergo, meaning Megan needed to be there more - and Mark had basically done everything he needed to do.  Those players are enough to make anyone crazy.  Why don't they just come out and say "Mark has less to lose, Megan's the bigger threat, that's why we're sending her home"?  I was so pissed at Chris, because even she voted for Megan - and Megan's been on her team since day one.  She is such a backstabber.  I really hope she's the next one to go - if Conda doesn't.

I just know that any other season - the player in Mark's position would have told the group to send him home, because the other person needed it more.  That was back when TBL was about caring for one another, supporting one another, and knowing why each and every one of them were there.  That was back when I really enjoyed watching the show, and was rooting for every person - because they all worked so hard. 

This season, every single person is out for themselves - and only themselves.  You can see it in everything.  Even the trainers realize that they have to make everything in to a competition.  Not a single one of them can stand it if someone else wins or loses more.  They also won't stand for helping each other. 

At least I can say that TBL taught me something this week.  The excuse for the week was how exercise was boring - but I learned that I'd much rather be working out than watching this season.  Rather than wasting those precious hours watching this pathetic excuse for a weight loss show - I could be using those hours to boost my pathetic weight loss show.  It's a very close competition as to which one is worse - all of them who have Bob, Dolvett, and the ranch...or me who has really bad allergies, works all day, has three kids to take care of, hardly any motivation to work out, and has finally started learning the importance of healthy eating.  At least there's a plus on my side.

Well, that's it for this week.  Next week is Makeover Week - Part 1.  It's being broken up in to two parts, I heard.  The makeover shows have always made me cry.  Let's see how many tears I'm shedding this time around.  I have a feeling I'll be crying - because I'll want it to be over, and I'm sick and tired of seeing these undeserving people get anything. 

OK, I'm done.

Till next time. ;)


  1. Hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaomg. Love it.

    The only thing I can add to this is that I actually did enjoy watching Buddy do Zumba. That made me smile.

  2. Hi, just an wasnt Vinny that called Chris out and followed her to the gym


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