I confess that this week past week as a whole has sucked compared to the week I had last week. That's the first confession I want to throw out there. But, as if you didn't already know that, right?
I confess that my walk made me put some things in perspective. Put some priorities in place. And really made me rethink my whole game plan in terms of the way I'm living my life, and the prison my weight is keeping me in....that I totally plan to break free from. Yes, there's going to be a prison break up in here!
I confess that I'm considering ditching the scale for a while. The scale is a part of my sentence. Each time I look at it, I feel chains around me. I want to free myself from the stress the scale brings. Just for a while. It would mean giving up on the Biggest Loser competition at work - but it's not like I was going to win, anyway. The final weigh-in is next week. I'm still above the weight I started the competition...there's no chance in the world. But, I'm still only considering ditching the scale.
I confess that I have been reading my book and loving it. It's full of so much information that speaks directly to me...and I can almost feel myself getting stronger and more determined with each word I read. It's making me consider doing things I never thought I'd do, or things I'd never even considered doing.
I confess that I was so excited about this happening yesterday...
Yep. That's me and Biggest Loser season 10 winner Patrick House. One of my heroes. We are holding a pair of the pants he used to wear. While I didn't have time to work out, I did make time to dash in to the gym, meet him, get a quick picture, and grab an autographed photo of him - that's personally made out to me.
I confess that I felt very special when I introduced myself to him, and he knew who I was. I've communicated with him a few times on the computer - and the wonderful guy actually responded. That has to be one of the most flattering situations I've ever been in.
I confess that since I met Patrick, all I've thought about are the questions I could have asked him. My visit with him was so quick, I feel like I missed a great opportunity to pick his brain a little. But, I don't want my meeting him to be something I associate with regret. I got to meet him - that's all I wanted.
I confess that despite the rocky few days I've had this week, I don't regret any of them. Really. My book says that I need to embrace my moments of weakness so that I can find their root cause. I think I did that. Once I faced how stressed I was, I made myself work off some of that stress. My mind was then clearer to come up with a way to help with some of the stress I was facing with the kids. Sitting here every Tuesday and saying "I don't like the mistakes I made but I promise I won't do them again" was crap. Obviously. How many times have you heard that statement this year alone? Setbacks and mistakes are going to happen. Brushing them off and pledging not to repeat them gets me nowhere. The only way I'm ever going to seriously make any changes is by facing my problems head on - and then looking for a solution. I made a minor milestone this weekend with my walking and the chore list - but there's still a lot of demons that need to be set free. I'll take one at a time, as they present themselves. But one thing I can promise you - you'll never hear me say "I promise I won't do that again" again. That load of bologna is gone - and now replaced with "Each time I have a set back, I will take the time to study that setback and look for the triggers, the causes, and healthier ways I can handle the situation for the future."
How's that for a week's worth of confessions?
Till next time. ;)