Busy...Busy...Busy

I so did not want to get out of bed this morning.  I just wanted to stay curled up in my pillows and blankets and sleep.  I need to start going to be earlier.  Staying up until 11PM and getting up at 5AM is wearing on me.  Yet, I just have a hard time shutting my brain down any earlier to go to sleep... so much is running through it, and every time I try and close my eyes thoughts are flying around my head.

It's been a long week.  And it's only Thursday.  With Family Nights, Track Meets, and after school meetings, I'm not even getting home at a reasonable time.  Tonight is another late night.  It's Art Night at school, and that lasts until 7PM.  That means I won't make it home until about 8PM.  

But, I do what I need to.  There will be plenty of time for me to sleep when I retire.  

I've added another activity to my already busy schedule, and that's coaching summer softball.  All three of my kids are going to play, so I figured I might as well join in.  I'll be coaching the 13 and under girls' softball team.. which will also be Peanut's team.  She's going to be 14 in a couple of weeks, but the deadline for age was January 1st, so that's the team she gets to be on.  Which I'm happy about.  It'll be like old times.  I coached her softball team when she played 10 and under ball.  It's been a long time, but I'm so excited to be doing it.

Butter is going to be on the 13 and under baseball team.  And, he's going to be one sore little dude starting next week.  He'll be doing track until 5:30 each night, and then playing baseball from 6-7PM.  He said he wanted more exercise, but I'm not sure he knows what he's in for.  That's A LOT of exercise.

Jelly will be playing on the 6 and under T-ball team, and she can't WAIT.  She's so excited to be doing a sport.  She's been going on and on and on about how she wished she got to do something like Peanut and Butter, and now she'll finally get the chance.

Saturday is our first meeting with all of the players, coaches, and parents.  And, we have to be there at 9AM.  So, I won't even get to sleep in on Saturday.  We'll be up bright and early in order to make it to that meeting.  I'm already thinking that I'm just going to spend the entire day on Sunday in bed, just catching up.

Yesterday was a pretty good day in my classroom.  Despite the kids being pretty hyper because of the warmer weather, and the end of school getting closer by the minute, they are working hard.  The whole Minecraft thing is helping BIG TIME with that.  They are constantly asking me when they are going to get to play, next, and I'm constantly telling them that we get to play as soon as we get all of the other stuff taken care of that we need to take care of.  That makes them really buckle down and get to it.  If I can keep them focused by offering up a couple hours a week playing Minecraft, I'm IN!

Yesterday was also the day that my kids got to find out the contest winners for the Conservation Poster contest many of them entered last month.  We get a visit from the Park and Wildlife Committee and they offer up a contest for designing the best posters.  Winners are chosen from each grade level, the entire school, and the entire county.

One of my girls won 2nd in the grade level division, and another girl won the WHOLE THING.  Best poster in the COUNTY.  That's out of about 600 students.  I was so proud of her.  She really worked hard on it, and she came up with the idea all by herself.

She created a tree out of pipe cleaners, and then colored it in.  She then stuck on 3D leaf stickers.  On top of the stickers, she glued thumbnail pictures of our entire class.  When she asked me to print out the pictures, I had no idea how she was going to use them, but the final product was AMAZING.

My 2nd place winner won $25 for her poster, and my grand prize winner won $100!! 

I love how creative my kiddos are... and they really are.  They enjoy writing and art, and I love that they enjoy those things.  They are also big fans of technology, and I'm loving the fact that I can help introduce more technology in to my teaching.  They are writing their own blogs, and I'm seeing the development of their writing really improve each and every week.  Many of them have started making crossword puzzles from their weekly spelling words on the computer each week.  And, they are really enjoying the chance of doing online lessons with MobyMax.

Technology is just something that HAS to be taught.  Any future I want for these kids is going to involve some form of technology, so might as well hit them hard with it while they enjoy doing it.

As for me, I'm just bouncing along with them.  In my world, that is my classroom, I don't have to worry about rumors, gossip, negativity, or drama.  And I've realized that's just where I need to stay while I'm at work.  Those things seem to follow me around like the plague.  I think it's better that I just do what I do, and stay in my safe little bubble.  Then I don't have to worry about hurting anyone's feelings, saying the wrong thing, or getting my own feelings hurt.  I enjoy being in my classroom, it's where I'm happy.  Nothing else matters.  I'm just going to do my job and go home.  Period.  I'm going to leave my personal life at the door when I get there, and leave work at work when I leave.

Which is how it's supposed to be.  

I have to stop thinking that work is a social hangout.  A place for me to make and spend time with my friends.  I have one purpose and one purpose only when I step in to that school building:  Improving the lives of my students.  That's it.  No more, no less.  I'll do whatever I need to do in order to do my job, but everything I do will be completely 100% fueled by my students' needs.  Not my own.

And that's all I have to say about that.

It's time for me to go, anyway.

Enduring Uncertainty

                                      

Uncertainty is one of those words that has so many meanings.  I mean, sure, uncertain means "not sure", but I'm speaking figuratively not literally.

Uncertainty is a word that can explain excitement or terror, happiness or sadness, good or bad.  

I can be uncertain about so many things, and for each one, the "uncertainty" can trigger a different emotion.  A different response.  

Being the control freak that I am, I don't really like uncertainty.  I guess it's OK if I'm "uncertain" about what I'm going to have for dinner, or I'm "uncertain" about what the weather is going to be like.  But, I mean uncertainty that pertains to my life.  What's happening next.

I'm currently dealing with a couple of situations of uncertainty in my life.  None of it being "bad", yet it doesn't stop me from worrying or it driving me nuts with anticipation about finding out what the outcome is going to be.  I hate waiting.  I'm impatient.  I want results.  Answers.  Decisions.  Telling me something like "You'll find out soon" is like shoving a feather under my nose.  Constantly.

It's an annoyance, more than anything.  It itches away at me, causing me to get to the point of discomfort almost.  I JUST WANT TO KNOW NOW!!!

Uncertainty brings about secrets and keeping things quiet.  Which is the reason for my obscure blog post today.  I can't just blurt out what I'm uncertain about, because I have to remain quiet until I know for sure.  I hate secrets just as much as I hate uncertainty, but I guess the two go hand-in-hand.

When there are secrets at play, rumors and gossip start to surface.  They stem from guessing or making assumptions.  That's another word I don't like.. "assumptions".  I don't like it when assumptions are made for or about me if I don't yet know for definite.  

But then, assumptions are put out there to help calm the uncertainty.  I can assume what's going to happen, based on pieces of information I've been given... yet there's always a strong possibility that the assumption is wrong, and then I've worked myself up for nothing.  

Today was supposed to be the end of one of the uncertainties that I'm currently dealing with.  It was supposed to bring about the answer, the relief from anticipation.  Yet, yesterday afternoon, I received a phone call telling me that the uncertainty must continue for another month.  UGH!  A whole month of continued not-knowing.  There's more information that needs to be gathered, more decisions need to made, and a definite answer can't be given like it was supposed to be.  

That in itself leads to more uncertainty.  What additional information is needed?  What other decisions are being decided?  

Throw in that with a side of uncertainty that's currently happening at work, and that makes for one very stressed out me.  Patience is NOT one of my virtues, and I don't like all of the deciding and scenarios that play out in my mind.  

Of course, rushing a decision isn't the best idea either.  A conundrum.  I can't have my cake and eat it to.  Do I want the people deciding my fate to rush in to a decision just to appease my curiosity, or do I want them to take their time and evaluate the best possible way to move forward?

It's the latter....but it doesn't make my life any easier.

I guess I should focus on the fact that all of the uncertainty isn't about anything bad.  It's about future possibilities and changes.  Nobody's life is hanging in the balance.  None of the outcomes will be anything I can't handle or don't want to handle.  All paths lead to a certain outcome that are positive and good.  Just each option is different..that's all.  That's what I need to focus on.  The fact that no matter what happens, everyone is going to be OK, I will be happy, and life will go on.  It will either go down one path or the other, and both paths lead to opportunity.

There are far worse scenarios that could be playing out in my life, right now.  And, if the uncertainty that I'm currently dealing with is all I have to worry about, then it's another blow that life is good.  Everything is OK.  Everything will be OK.

Sure, there's an outcome I'd rather have, but even if that doesn't happen, it won't mean anything bad for me or the people involved.  Life will still go on in positive strides.

Don't you just love cryptic posts like this?  I've read it a couple of times now, and considered deleting the whole thing.  It's like one of those Facebook status updates that people loathe...

"Making a very important decision today"

"Just got a very exciting piece of information today"

"Just found out something that's going to be a big game-changer to my life"

And you read them screaming "WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???"  Curiosity starts to take over, and you wish they'd just keep that information to themselves so that you're not sitting there wondering about what they're talking about.

I'm sure that some people will read this blog and wonder the same thing.  And, I'm sorry that I can't share.  Yet.  But, you can bet your bottom dollar that the minute I find out, I'll let everyone in on it.  When I get that final decision and the permission to scream it from the rooftops.. I will.

But, until then, it has to remain cryptic and quiet.  I have to inch my way around the outside, without opening any doors to what's waiting on the inside.  But that's only because I haven't found the door to let ME in.  As soon as I do, you will be the first to know.  

Right now, though, I need to get ready for work.  Another day of wondering if today will be the day.  I'd like to think so.. but I've been saying that for DAYS now.  It's better to just let it go, and wait for everything to work out the way it's supposed to.

Have a great Wednesday!!

All Aboard the Crazy Train

                                            

Great.  Now all day long, I'm going to have Ozzy's "Crazy Train" stuck in my head.  Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay.

But, that's actually a picture of me riding a train on Sunday.  The Zoo Train.  Not sure what was going on with my hand, but well...it fits with today's post.

Yes, Sunday, I took the kids to the zoo.  Butter had asked to go for his birthday, but the weather wasn't really cooperating when it was his birthday.  So, we waited another week and went on Sunday.  Which, just happened to be the PERFECT day to go.  The temperature was around 70 degrees, the sun was shining, and all the animals were out enjoying the BEAUTIFUL weather.

We spent about five hours walking around, enjoying our day.  The kids were all in a great mood, there wasn't a single issue of fighting, and the whining was very minimal.  And that only occurred after being in the zoo for about 4 hours, and someone (Jelly) getting a little tired.   We all had a great time.  I think everyone in Tulsa decided to take advantage of the gorgeous weather, because the place was PACKED.  But, despite how busy it was, we were able to get in and see everything we wanted to see and hardly had to stand in line for anything.  

We didn't end up getting home until after 7PM, once we stopped off at McDonald's to grab dinner on the way home.  It was a McDonald's that has one of those Play Places... and Jelly was so excited to see it.  I was shocked that she still had so much energy to play after spending all day walking around the zoo, but she did.

Once we got home, the kids all took their showers ready for bed, and I went straight to work finishing up my lesson plans for the week.  I finally made it to bed around midnight.  Talk about exhausted... and that's why I didn't write my blog yesterday morning, because I decided to sleep in a little longer than usual.  

But, it was needed, knowing that I was going in to the week that I'm going to have.

Last night was Jelly's Family Night at school.  That lasted until almost 7PM.  Tonight, Peanut and Butter have their first Track Meet, and no doubt that will last until around 8PM.  Tomorrow, I'm taking the day off to take Butter to an appointment that's going to last a couple of hours.  Thursday, it's Art Night at school, and I'll most likely end up being there until around 7PM again.  And, Friday, Peanut wants to go to the movies with her friends so who knows how late I'll be out waiting to pick her up.

It's been a while since I've had such crazy schedule, but I'm getting quite used to it.  

Next year will be even more fun, once Peanut gets in to high school.  If she makes it on to the Debate Team and the Show Choir AND the Volleyball Team, I'll have my fill of crazy weeks just like this one.

We had that conversation in the car on the way home from the zoo on Sunday.  How crazy life will get starting next year.  Peanut made the comment that I don't have to go to ALL of her activities, if I don't want to.  We then looked at each other and laughed.  We both know that's crazy talk.  If I can be there, I will be.  No ifs, ands, or buts about it.  The only challenge will be juggling between her and Butter's various activities...but I'll make out a schedule if I have to, so that it's fair and I make it to as many activities as possible to watch them play, perform, or whatever.

That's just what I do.

Sure, I could opt to not go to ALL of the activities.  I could just go home and pick the kids up later, or hang out at school, or whatever.  But WHY ON EARTH WOULD I??  Watching my kids do the things they enjoy doing is apart of my life, and I love every minute of it.  Sure, I might complain about how tired I am every once in a while, but I'll take tired over missing out on being there for them.

Last week, I was accused of being a bad mother.  Well, not so much a bad mother, more along the lines of being "fake" about the type of mother that I am.  Which in my mind, is the same thing.  That I don't really care as much about my kids as I make it seem, and that I treat all of my kids differently and aren't as involved with their lives as I make it sound.

Well, other people may think that if they want to, but I know the truth.  I know what kind of mother that I am, and the last thing I'd say about myself is that I'm "fake".  I'm not a perfect mother, sure, but I try my absolute best to do what I can.

And, the only reason I say that I'm not a "perfect" mother is because I believe there to be no such thing.  All parents have room to grow, adapt, and improve on their parenting skills.  I make mistakes.  I do thinks I regret.  I often wish I could do more.  But, there is absolutely no way anyone can doubt the love I have for my children or how much I'll try to do everything I can for them.

Anywho, got off there on a little vent I hadn't planned.

But, I am going to keep doing what I'm doing and be happy about it.  Not getting home until late, and sacrificing some sleep is worth it.  I really do enjoy being apart of all the activities my kids enjoy.

Life at work is just as crazy as life outside of work.  Being that we're down to the wire, there's plenty of stress for everyone.  I'm trying my best to just stay in my own little world, and not let anyone or anything get me down.

There's a lot more to the story, but that's for another time and after I get more information.  

But, right now, it's time for me to get ready for work.

There's Always Time for Some Fun

                                            

What an amazing day I had yesterday.  Amazing in the sense of how much I got done and how much I did.  And amazing in the sense that I'm still able to walk today, and I'm not totally EXHAUSTED.

My day started with one mission and one mission only:  Clean my bedroom.

I had become a hypocrite to my children, and I had to change that.  I'm constantly on their case about cleaning their rooms, making sure their clothes are kept where they're supposed to be kept, putting their clean laundry away and making sure dirty laundry is in the hamper.

Yet, my room had become a disaster zone.

Clean laundry that hadn't been put away, piles of stuff that needed to be put away (somewhere) that was just piled up in various places around the room, and my room looked like it belonged to a teenager.

Not good.

Plus, I was more than ready to make the closet conversation from winter to spring/summer. 

One thing I lost moving in to our new house was my walk-in closet.  I had one in my old house, so my entire year of clothing was always hung.  Spring and summer were on one side and fall and winter were on another.  That was awesome.  But, I gladly sacrificed a walk-in closet for the amazing house that we now have.  

But, now that means I can only keep half a year's worth of clothes in my closet at one time.  The other half of the year are kept in storage tubs under my bed.  Being that it's the time of year to start making that transition, I thought it would also be a good time to go through all of the tubs and clear out stuff that I no longer wanted or that no longer fit me.  Sure, I want to lose weight, but holding on to tons of clothes that are about 6 sizes too small for me just isn't reasonable or realistic.  Maybe I'll lose that much weight, eventually, but I think it's better to focus on a size or two difference and let someone else enjoy the clothes that are not seeing the light of day.

By the time I was finished, I had two bags full of stuff.  All those clothes will be donated to a worthy cause, and someone else can get some enjoyment out of them.  

My closet is now full of bright colors and I'm now ready for spring.  My closet is also all cleaned out to where I can see what clothes I have, and shoes, and I'm now strictly using my closet for those reasons and those reasons only (versus the make-shift storage area it was before).

Everything has been unpacked and put away, or it's been put in the "donate" bags.  It was time.  Time to make my bedroom look like a bedroom, and not something off of an episode of Hoarders.

Anywho, in between all the cleaning, I decided to take the kids to the park.  The weather was beautiful, and I hated that I was indoors cleaning.  So, we jumped in the car and drove up the road to our town's park.  Jelly went off to play on the playground, Butter decided he wanted to go for a jog around the track, and Peanut and I decided to play some volleyball.

I love that our little town park has so much to offer.  Basketball courts, volleyball nets, running/walking track, a baseball field, and three separate playgrounds for the kids to play on.  Not to mention the HUGE open field in the middle to use for soccer or a family picnic.

We spent some time playing separately, and then spent some time all playing together.  We had a blast, and decided right there and then that we'd make it there more often for a little time out of the house.

A little mother/daughter volleyball

Me being silly with Butter

The stupid "fierce" pose that all of the kids are using nowadays

Mom and daughter selfie

Mom and son selfie

Mom and baby girl selfie

All in all, we had a blast.  And I'm so proud of myself for remembering to stop to take some pictures.  I want to document all these little fun things we do together.  It's important.

When we got home, I finished up my bedroom and then went out to sit on the patio while Hubby was grilling dinner.  He made us some FANTASTIC barbecue chicken and corn on the cob. 

After dinner, I pulled out my grading and got to work on that.  I spent several hours relaxing and grading.. at the same time. Yeah, I can multi-task like that.  I even managed to work a little on my lesson plans for next week.

Around 1AM, I decided it was time for me to head to bed.  I knew I had a fun-filled day in store for us today, so I needed my rest.  My back and legs were sore from all of the activity, and it felt good knowing that with all the fun, I'd also managed to get in some exercise.

Today, I'm taking the kids to the zoo.  Butter asked to go for his birthday, but we wanted to wait a couple of weeks until the weather warmed up a little more.  The weather is supposed to be BEAUTIFUL today, with highs in the 70s and sun shine all day long.

I've already decided that this weekend is a reflection on how I want our summer to be.  Day trips, park trips, barbecues, and FUN.  

I spend so much time on the weekends worrying about grading and lesson plans and other work that I need to do, that I often forget about what the weekends are SUPPOSED to be about.  Spending time with my family.  OK, so not ALL of my work might get done, but as important as my work is to me.. it's always FAMILY FIRST.  I am going to keep reminding myself of that.  NOTHING will ever come before my kids.  There might be some weekends that we can't go out and do something, but I have to remember that I can always take a break for an hour or two to go to the park.

And there should ALWAYS be something going on at least every couple of weekends.  That's why I've already decided to buy year passes to the zoo, season passes to Silver Dollar City, and put some cash away for other fun activities such as bowling, skating, hiking, museum trips, etc.  

But, right now, I better get to getting.  My kids will be mad if we're not on the road in the next hour.  They are ready for a day at the zoo!!

Have a great Sunday, everyone!!

Adding Some Color to My Life

                                              

Last weekend, I took the kids to see P-Momma.  We hadn't seen her in TOO long, and we were WAY overdue for a visit.  The kids had been harping on me for a few weeks about when we were going to go see her, because that's one place they do enjoy going.  Especially Jelly.  She sure does love her "grammy" and is constantly asking me if she can go over to spend the night.

I, also, love going over to see P-Momma.  We can talk for hours, and never seem to run out of stuff to talk about.

It's probably what sparked the blog posts I wrote this week about a certain subject I'm not going to go much in to.  But, after spending a day with P-Momma, her asking me how life is going for me, her being genuinely interested in stuff that's happening in my classroom, and my life, it's no wonder the feelings started emerging that I shared this week.

But, anywho, not going in to all that again.

We went to P-Momma's, and we were talking.  She was telling me all about how stuff had been going for her, her job, and life in general, when she realized that she had something she wanted to share with me:  A few catalogs that she'd been recently shopping from to buy clothes.

Now, I will say right off the bat that I HATE clothes shopping.  I've said it many times, actually.  I'm a large girl, and I hate that about myself, and I can never find clothes I like when I go out shopping for myself.  Everything is always too frumpy, or doesn't fit right, or is made to make me look like a couch rather than a woman with "curves".  The one store that's designed for people like me (Lane Bryant) sell amazingly cute clothes, but I have to get a second mortgage on my house just to buy a few outfits from them.

That's another thing I have a problem with, spending a lot of money on clothes.  I just won't.  Apart of that stems from the fact that I keep telling myself that I won't be this fat forever, and spending exorbitant amounts of money on clothes just doesn't fly with me.  When I do buy clothes, they are to wear for a while... unless they are cheap, and then I don't mind so much.  I still own clothes that I wore back when I worked for Walmart.  That was about 8 years ago.  So.  Yeah.  As you can see, I make a "long term investment" when I buy clothes for myself.

Plus, my weight does fluctuate quite a bit.  I go through spurts where I can drop a dress size or two and then end up gaining the weight back, so I need variety in my clothing size selections.  Thankfully, I own several storage totes for my sporadic fluctuations.  

Anywho, P-Momma gave me a few catalogs to look through that she had received that sold clothes for women with curves.  Woman Within.  Think Lane Bryant for women that live on a tight budget.  I'd never heard of them, but I thought I'd give the catalogs a looksy. I honestly didn't expect to really do much.  I mean, it's hard enough to get me to buy clothes from a store let alone a catalog.  Simply because I like to try clothes on, and see how they fit and what they look like on me before I buy.  

But, as I started to look through the catalogs I noticed that there were a LOT of really cute clothes and the prices were REALLY reasonable.  I was still a little hesitant, though.  One thing I noticed about all of the clothes were the colors.  

Let me say, before I go on, I have three main colors currently hanging in my closet: Black, brown, and gray.  I have a couple of dark pink shirts, one or two dark purple shirts, and a couple of dark blue dresses.  

My closet is dark.  And I'm not talking about the lighting.  I just favor dark colors, and always have.

Several weeks ago, I went shopping with E.  She talked me in to buying a white dress with green chevron print, and I bought a white translucent cardigan to go over it.  It was WAY out of my comfort zone, but she twisted my arm to give it a try.  I wore that dress on the first day of spring and received TONS of compliments about how nice I looked with a little color on me.  

So, I've been thinking about getting some items that are a little more colorful now that the weather is getting nicer, and I'm getting a little spring fever.

So, back to looking through the catalogs.  TONS of spring colors were spread across the pages.  Bright pinks, blues, greens, yellows, reds... a rainbow of clothing.  But, it wasn't the colors that JUST caught my eye, it was the prices.  

I couldn't believe some of the prices I was seeing.  $6.99 tunic shirts, $9.99 capris and jeans, $17.99 dresses.  I was shocked.  Surely this was some special sale going on, and it was, but apparently they are ALWAYS having sales like the one I was looking at.

I decided right there and then that I'd give them a go.  I'd order a couple of things and see how it went.  If I liked the stuff, I might order more, but being that I was buying from a catalog, I wanted to be cautious.  

That same night, I sat down in front of my laptop and started doing some shopping.  The next thing I know, I had picked out 6 shirts, 5 pairs of capris, a maxi-dress, and a two piece capri suit.  I was just SURE that I was going to have to take some things off, because the final price would be WAY more than I was willing to spend.

Want to know what the grand total was for ALL of that?  $197.  WHAT THE WHAT???

Two hundred dollars for 13 items?  That can't be right, can it?  But, I checked and went through everything, and sure enough it was indeed correct.  

I was shocked, and extremely excited.  I decided to go ahead and keep everything in my basket, because that's basically an entirely new wardrobe (for me) for $200.  The colors I picked were mix-n-matchable, so there would be tons of different ways I could wear the items together.  

The next day, I received an email offering me a FREE luggage set (a $50 value) if I spend another $25.  Now, as a teacher, one thing I can never be in short supply of is large bags.  The set included an oversized weekend bag, a purse, and an insulated lunch box.  Did I need any of those things?  Nope.  Did I want them?  Absolutely.  

So, that night, back to the laptop I went.

I ended up spending another $100 but ended up with 2 pairs of jean capris, a pair of cargo capris, a pair of boot cut yoga pants, a dress, and a cute pair of summer shoes that look a lot like Toms.  So, another 6 items for $100.  And, of course, the $50 luggage set that I was now getting free.  

I honestly don't think $300 for 19 items that will basically replace my ENTIRE wardrobe is unreasonable.  I will be able to box up or get rid of basically every bit of "spring/summer" clothing I own.  

Yesterday, my first order arrived.  Just four days after originally placing the order - and I didn't have to pay for shipping, by the way.  

Last night, I put on a mini fashion show for Hubby and the kids.  I was floored at how comfortable the clothes were, how well they fit, and how light and "springy" they felt.  I was so happy that I had gone ahead and taken the risk of ordering so much.  And, now I can't wait for the next order to arrive.

I texted P-Momma last night to thank her for the suggestion, and she immediately called me wanting to hear about all the goodies I'd bought.  She was so excited to hear about all of the different colors I'd selected and told me that she couldn't wait to see me get away from the dark colors I'm always wearing.  

Not a single item felt bad on me.  The shirts are all long enough to wear with capris or leggings, which is important to me.  I hate buying shirts that are too short.  I want to cover my waist, not highlight it.  The capris were all lose and comfy, but not too lose to look frumpy or make me look 4 sizes bigger than I actually am.  The dress was floor length, but so comfortable.  It didn't cling to my waist, but didn't look like a moo-moo either.  Actually, I think I might need a couple more of them, because I LOVE wearing comfy dresses to work.  

I feel like a kid on Christmas morning!!

I'm so excited, in fact, that I've decided to spend this morning completely cleaning out my closet and getting all my new items in their rightful place.  In fact, I'm going to clean out my ENTIRE bedroom, and emptying out some of the totes that are just taking up space and are long overdue to be let go.  

After a day of cleaning, I've decided to take the kids to the park for some family time together.  We're going to have some activity time.  Walking the track, playing in the park, playing some volleyball.  Jelly can take her bike along and ride for a while.  Just some movement for all of us, on a beautiful spring day.

I feel happy.  I am happy.  And I'm embracing the happy.  

I've had so many wonderful words of kindness and support sent my way this week, and I want to take this opportunity to thank ALL of you that care.  But, I also want to assure you that I'm perfectly happy and content.  When life throws me lemons, not only do I make lemonade.. but I make lemon squares, lemon pie, lemon cake. There's always TONS of stuff to do with lemons.

What I've also realized this week is that I'm FAR from being lonely or in need of people to talk to.  P-Momma is ALWAYS a phone call or text away.  My friends at work are always there for me.  My kids are always here for me to brighten my day and keep me on my toes.  

I really need to remember to focus on the good, and get rid of any bad.  Not dwell on it.  Live life to the fullest and enjoy every moment.  

All I need is some color in my life.  And I've realized that I'm surrounded by color... always.  So, it's time to now wear those colors with pride.

Have a great Saturday, everyone!!

Happy Friday!!

                                       

Another week is almost over and it's been a pretty good week.  I'm ready for the weekend, though, and I'm planning on doing some fun stuff with the kids.  But, before that happens, we've got to get through today.

Today is our Terrific Tiger assembly.  It's a monthly award ceremony where each teacher picks a student from their class to be recognized as a "Terrific Tiger", and they get a t-shirt and a certificate.  It's a pretty big deal, being that there are only nine months in the school year, and most classes have over 20 students.  

I always have such a hard time picking my student, because they are all pretty terrific in my eyes in their own way.  But, this month was actually pretty easy for me because I've had one student that made it her "mission", if you will, to get the award.

I remember the first few weeks of school.  She was so shy and quiet.  She hardly spoke a word to me, and when I spoke to her she would get all red in the face and almost panic.  Over the course of the first few months, she had several struggles and often gave up because she felt that it wasn't worth trying.  Not defiantly, but stressfully.  She would get upset, frustrated, and sad when she didn't understand.

Since Christmas, however, a different girl has been emerging.  The quiet, fragile girl that avoided being put on the spot by any means necessary has really come out of her shell.  She's now answering questions during group discussions, she's asking questions when she doesn't understand, her grades are coming up lightening fast, and she's even asked me on several occasions for extra work to do to continue helping her grades.  She's also one that has constantly asked to do a paper over if she didn't make a grade that she was happy with.  She is one of my students that gets pulled out for intervention, and she has told me several times that it's one of her goals to where that doesn't have to happen anymore...and she's very close to making that happen.  She's also one that would panic whenever we did our quarterly testing, and even though I was seeing AMAZING gains in her, it never reflected in her test scores due to her anxiety.  Yet, the last test she took (last month) she reflected a growth of more than an entire grade level since the last time she took the test.  

Her personality has really blossomed, also.  I mean, she's always been pretty social with her friends and has always had plenty of friends... but like I said before, with me she would avoid speaking at all costs.  Now, she's always cracking jokes, sharing with me stuff that's going on in her life, and comes to me when she needs someone to talk to.  She has a smile that lights up the whole classroom and everyone loves being around her.

I'm not singling her out because she's the only student like it in my class, or because I play favorites, but her story is one that has definitely been emerging within ALL of my students this past couple of months.  She just happened to be one of the first to make such drastic changes, and has sort of "lead the front" on inspiring other students to follow suit.

I've shared on several occasions that I don't believe my job as a teacher is to teach.  In fact, when I make a list of my job responsibilities, teaching happens to be quite aways down the list.  I look at my job as being a person that inspires kids to do better and be better.  To create and follow dreams.  To break out of their shells, to recognize their own potentials, and to take ownership of their learning.  My job is to simply hand them the tools to build their futures.  (Oh, I like that..and I'm copyrighting it right here and now.)

My job as a teacher is to simply hand my students the tools that will help them design and build their own futures. - Me.

Today's Terrific Tiger has really embraced that about me, and herself.  She was a girl that would give up in the blink of an eye, and realized that giving up would get her nowhere.  That, sometimes, she had to push past the discomfort, ask for help, and understand that she had it in her the whole time.

Again, she's not the only student in my class that has or is understanding this about themselves.  And all of my students have grown SOOO much over the course of this school year.  I don't need any tests or data or grades to tell me so, I've seen it with my own eyes.  I've been blessed with the opportunity to witness it firsthand.  And, those moments are the ultimate reasons I absolutely LOVE doing what I do.

I couldn't be a teacher without my students.  I couldn't grow as a teacher or learn as a teacher without them.  My students are more than just my job, they are the foundation to my goals and future just as much as I am for them.  They make me want to be a better person, to work harder, to find new ways to challenge them, and to discover new tools to put in their toolboxes.  

I'm good at my job, but that means nothing if the students don't respond.  My way isn't the guide in the classroom, their way is the guide in my classroom.  My students map out the way we are going to travel, and I just create various paths to get them where they need to go.  And, like I keep telling my kids, there are always MORE than one way to get where they need to be.  I will "reinvent the wheel" each and every year, heck, each and every month if I have to.  Because one thing I will ALWAYS stand by is that a classroom NEVER works with a "one size fits all" mentality.  There are many sizes that need to be offered, and I'll juggle and create and offer as many "sizes" as I need to in order for them to succeed.

Today is going to be a TERRIFIC day...and the fact that it's a Friday just makes it even more terrific.

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

Back to Life

                                               

It's been a long week, but with everything that's been going on, it has been a good week.  Life is good.    The kiddos in my classroom have been really buckled down and focused, and that's a tough feat this time of year.  Something about the spring coming makes them get squerly and restless.  But, apparently, the fact that the weather can't decide that it IS indeed spring, yet, has helped me keep them a little more grounded than usual.

Yesterday was a cold and rainy day.  I had to leave school early to take Butter to an appointment, so Hubby had to pick Jelly up.  After Butter's appointment, I drove back to pick up Peanut from track practice.  And on our car ride home, we all three shared the stories about our day, and had a good laugh about all that's good in the world.

It's really nice to get that time with them every day.  The car rides.  It seems like when we're all in the car together, we can have a daily share session.  We discuss school, funny stories about our day, upcoming events and plans, and if there's nothing else to talk about we just sing along to the radio and have a good laugh with each other.

For that 45 minutes in the afternoon, there's hardly any fighting or arguing.  Peanut and Butter are getting along.  Peanut and Jelly are getting along.  Butter and Jelly are getting along.  Everyone takes it in turns to say what they want to say about their day, and then we move on to the next.  Sometimes I just sit and listen, sometimes I get to offer some advice, sometimes I'm the one sharing, sometimes Peanut and Butter are advising each other, sometimes they're giving Jelly advice, sometimes they are giving me advice.  We all just enjoy that time together.  Make it count.

And despite the fact that I've put over 32,000 miles on my car in about a year and a half, I know that those miles are meaningful.  

It's the little things, like car ride conversations, that make my life happier.  This time of year is a stressful time.  Our testing is fast approaching, and the one thing there just doesn't ever seem to be enough of is time.  We're down to there being only a little over 5 weeks until our state test, and only 8 weeks of school left.  That's just CRAZY!  

So much to do, and so little time.

And one thing I haven't stopped doing is looking for new ideas and projects to use in my classroom to keep the kiddos focused, while still making sure we're getting in all of the objectives we need to cover before the test.  

I've discovered that the Minecraft project is EXTREMELY time consuming.  In order for us to really have a chance to get the most out of it, we need a few hours in the computer lab each week AND a couple of hours in the classroom so that planning and ideas can take place for implementation in to the game.  While the kids are SO excited about getting this opportunity, and will have fun and learn regardless of how much time they put in, I can't help but feel like we got started a little too late for it to really show the possible potential that the game can offer.

So, what I've realized is that the time my class will spend on the Minecraft project will be a tiny glimpse at what next year holds for implementing Minecraft in to my classroom.  If nothing else, the kids will use the game for the remaining 8 weeks to review skills, and I will use it as an incentive to stay focused and buckle down in our preparations for the state test.  

What I've discovered is that just the opportunity to play for an hour or so a week can be enough motivation to do everything I ask them to do throughout the week.  And, if all the kids get out of it is some time to destress, collaborate, and have a little fun... I'm OK with that.  We won't be able to build the great empires I thought we'd get to, but that doesn't mean that there won't be some major benefits coming out of the time we do get.

But, I'll spend my summer building the curriculum plans for implementing the game in to my classroom as soon as the year starts next year, and by this time next year....there will be AMAZING things that would have taken place over the school year.

Another amazing tool that I discovered yesterday, a little too late in the game.. is Mobymax.com.  It's a website that gives the kids a beginning placement test, and then focuses on the skills they are struggling with.  AND it covers math, reading, language arts, and test prep skills.  Oh, and did I mention that it's COMPLETELY FREE???

Mrs. P actually told me about the site several weeks ago, but it just happened to be yesterday when I finally got around to checking it out.  I can enter all of my students in to the program, and each student's skill selection will be different and focused on what they need rather than me putting in what I think they need.

I had a couple of my kiddos try it out, yesterday, and they seemed to like it.  I even added Butter to my roster and he took a placement test last night.  He's going to start using it to help him study and focus on some of the math concepts he's struggling with.  I decided to have a go at taking the math placement test and came out with a grade level of 8.4.  I guess that's not too bad for a 4th grade teacher.  I, apparently, still remembered how to do some of the stuff I learned in school.

Each week, my kids get an hour of computer lab time (not related to our Minecraft time).  That's the time I'm going to have the kids working on Mobymax.  They will take the placement test today, and then each week they can work on test prep skills that the program designs for them.  

What I like about it is the fact that the system is Common Core aligned, and is similar to the new tests that the students will start taking next year that will ALL be on computer.  Why not give them a few weeks at building their math skills while learning how to operate some of the functions they need to know to do on computer?

Next year, I plan on asking for a paid subscription.  That gives me access to printables, IEP goal plans, and more reward and game options for the students when they complete their designated tasks.  

With all these new technology resources, I have a feeling that next year is going to be a whole different ball game for me.  I've been CRAVING more technology usage for my class, I'm just kicking myself that it's March when I start using all these fantastic resources.

But, oh well.  At least I'm building a nice, big tool box to use in the future.

One thing I'm going to do, though, is try and stay focused myself.  Not pile too much on to my plate, and remember what's important this time of year. 

I think I can do that.  

But, right now, I think I should be getting ready for work.