It's week number 2 of the May your Way challenge - and I've gained....again.
I'm in trouble. Big trouble. I just can't seem to shake this funk - whatever it is - that's dragging me back in to old habits, old routines, and increasing numbers on the scale.
I really thought the challenge would spark my motivation again....well, it hasn't yet. I'm not giving up, though. It all really comes down to mind over matter - and the matter is winning right now. It's time for my mind to take the reigns again and stop me from self destructing - one horrible decision at a time.
There are no excuses. There are no reasons. Nothing major has happened to me to start me on this downward spiral. Maybe I'm getting lazy because graduation is so close, and I feel that the end of that era is making me lazy in other areas of my life. Maybe I'm so consumed with graduation that I'm not thinking about working out....maybe in my deluded mind I feel like I deserve these bad foods, bad decisions, and lack of exercise.
Whatever it is - it needs to stop.
At the start of this challenge I weighed in at 216lbs.
Last week, I weighed in at 214.2lbs
This week, I'm up to 215.2lbs
I've gained a pound.
In terms of my goals?
- Well, I'm getting further away from Onederland
- I haven't done any exercise this week - as of yet
- My calories have been over 1600 almost every day
- I have hardly drank any water
I'm disappointed and ashamed of myself. I don't want to lose everything I've done. I don't want to stop working towards the finish line of my goal weight. I can sit here and say "I'm going to try harder" but I keep saying that....I need to actually do it.
So, I came up with a little idea. I'm going to start today. I'm going to make daily goals for myself...small goals. I'm hoping that starting out small will help me build back up to the person I was - the do or die girl who was fighting every step of the way to lose the weight and get fit.
Today's goals are to eat less than 1500 calories and drink 64ozs of water.
That's it. Just two little things to do today.
I promise that I'm not going to give up. I will get over this rut. I will jump back on my horse and ride this journey to the end.... I've just come to one of those hurdles that is taking some time to get over.
Till next time. ;)
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Wednesday is weigh-in day for me too! Don't feel ashamed. I think it's great you continuing blogging even when you aren't losing! I tend to only want to post the positives about this journey but it's not all uphill! There are days (weeks) where we are not 100% on our A-game!
ReplyDeleteThis week will be better for the both of us!
i've been there. am there really. the fact that you're still here posting means that you haven't thrown in the towel - so good for you!! :) and good luck with those mini goals.
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you! My funk is getting the better of me so expect a daily e-mail from me! I need some help!!
ReplyDelete