Tuesday, February 28, 2012

True Confessions Tuesday

Dear Diary...

Despite everything I'm about to say, I am pretty happy this week.  But, even on the good weeks, there's going to be some things that I need to get off my chest.  That's what I want my confessions to be for.  To just get things off my chest.  I don't know if there will ever come a time when I can write a blog post on Tuesday mornings and say "I have absolutely nothing to confess this week".  That would be nice, but as a very wonderful follower said yesterday in the comments, I'm striving for Progress, Not Perfection!

I confess that I have not been to the gym since last Tuesday.  Despite it being one of my goals Thursday and Friday.  Wednesday, I explained that in a post - and then I repeated the same stuff on Thursday and Friday.  I chose to go shoe shopping instead, even after shopping for shoes Wednesday afternoon.  Friday, I was just tired.

I confess that, even though it was one of my goals to go walking on Saturday, I didn't.  I chose to go get my hair cut, do grocery shopping, and return shoes I no longer wanted.  Sure, I walked around stores... but it's not the same.  That doesn't count.

I confess that I made myself go jogging/walking on Sunday.  When I got dressed, I deliberately put my work-out clothes on.  Even when I had decided to go play bingo, and realized that my jogging/walking my hinder that - I chose to take my chances.  The 2.85 miles I completed were tough.  Especially the first 30 minutes when I completed week one of C25K.  My calves were screaming at me the entire time - but I just kept hearing a voice scream "push passed the pain" and I did.  

I confess that I was not able to avoid the junk food at bingo on Sunday.  This is going to sound stupid, but, I deliberately didn't ask for extra cash when buying my bingo books - cause I knew I'd end up buying food.  Then, and here's the stupid part, while I was playing the first games I told myself that if I won I'd buy myself something to eat.  Guess what happened next?  I won.  My first win of the night - $37.  Enough to buy me some food.  Instead of getting a salad or a sandwich I went to my weakness - chicken strips and fries.  Even though I was still slightly under my calorie goal for the day (thank goodness to the 300 calories I earned for my 2.85 mile walk) I know that it has affected my weight this week.

I confess that I stood on the scale Friday, even though I don't usually step on the scale any other days but Tuesdays and Wednesdays.  Tuesdays because of my Biggest Loser weigh in at work, and Wednesdays for my official weigh in.  I wish I hadn't.  Because the number I saw then compared to the number I see now is significantly different.  The number on Friday was 2lbs less than what I saw this morning when getting a feel for what my BL weigh in would be like.  It goes to show that even staying under my calorie goal doesn't completely determine my loss.  Fried food is still fried food - and it's going to affect my numbers.

I confess that my "splurge" on Sunday wasn't the only splurge I had this week.  Friday night, Hubby and I took the kids to The Dixie Cafe for dinner.  I mentally told myself that I could have a "free night" because I had planned on doing some jogging/walking on Saturday and going to the gym on Sunday.  While I didn't make good choices with the food I ordered, I did stop eating when I was full.  That's a new thing for me.  I've been conditioned to eat what's on my plate - but Friday night, I just stopped when I reached the point of "fullness".  I'm sure that meal also has affected what I saw on the scale this morning - especially since I didn't hold up to the two days of exercise I'd planned on over the weekend.  I also believe it's one of the reasons I ate so little on Saturday - because I was trying to make up for the damage.  Lesson to be learned in that!

I confess that I have managed to go an entire week of logging my food and exercise in to My Fitness Pal.  That's a big deal, for me.  I've logged everything that went in to my mouth - good, bad, and ugly.  In those 7 days, I've only gone over my calorie goal 3 times - and it was by less than 300 calories each time.  I know that those 300 calories add up - but for my first week, I don't think it's too bad.

I confess that I'm so excited to get to meet Patrick House from the Biggest Loser this evening.  Even though I won't be able to work out - because of an appointment I have to take Butter to, just being able to say hi and maybe get a picture will be worth it.  He's been one of my most favorite Biggest Losers since watching the show - and I had the most success with my weight loss during his season. 

I confess that I didn't go to the gym, again, last night because of a doctor's appointment.  It was preplanned, though, so it's not like I skipped going.  This week will be kinda crazy, but I plan on getting my butt back on track with the gym on Wednesday. 

I confess that even though I feel like I had a pretty good week, it's obvious I still have a long way to go.  It's my goal this week to work on some of this stuff - and make sure it doesn't happen again.  It makes me wonder what my number on my scale would be like if I hadn't skipped the gym those few days.  It makes me wonder what the number would be if I hadn't eaten the junk I ate over the weekend.  There's only one way to find out - by not repeating the same mistakes.

So, that's it.  But, before I go, I have a favor to ask.  I am needing help for a friend.  Her name is Lacie.  She is a person I've worked with the past few months - and has grown to be a true friend.  She has a daughter, named Kenadee, who is 2.  Her daughter has mitochondrial disease.  It's a disease that affects Kenadee's entire body - both inside and out.  There's no way I could shed light on this family's heartfelt story - but I hope you would visit this link and read a little more about it.

Lacie, and her husband Dennis, want to take their precious angel to the beach.  It could very well be the only chance they have to do something like this.  I have never seen so much strength and love inside two people.  They devote their lives to giving Kenadee the best care, love, and support.  Lacie also spends 7 hours a day nurturing 25 third graders.  She is a true hero - and her husband deserves that badge of honor, too as he spends that time at home taking care of Kenadee.

I am trying to help Lacie and Dennis raise enough money to make their dreams come true - and take that trip to the beach.  If you can spare anything - $10, $20, more - and have a part in this, you have no idea how grateful I'd be.  I would also be forever grateful if you could share this story on your own blogs - and spread the word for me.  Please click here and help make their dreams come true!

Till next time. ;)


  1. This week is a NEW week and the start of a new month! I didn't have a perfect week last week either and I feel like I ate too much. It'll all even out when we get back to it this week :)

    Great job staying accountable. I'm going to check out that link for your friend. xoxo

  2. I love your true confessions. They are so raw & honest. As women, as mothers, we can all identify with your struggles. Part of the reason, I call my blog, "Day #1 Again" is because I truly believe that every day is a fresh start. A chance to begin again. A chance to learn from the mistakes of yesterday and repeat the good things we have done. And that is what you do! You've come far in this last week and I know you will continue to meet your goals, both big and small.

    I recently saw this quote and it is written on my fridge. Your story about buying food with your Bingo prize money reminded me of it: DON'T REWARD YOURSELF WITH FOOD; YOU'RE NOT A DOG. It's funny in a way, but so true!

    Have fun meeting Patrick tonight!! Can't wait to hear about it! Keep up the good work.


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