This week, OK the past few days, I've been back to posting mini-goals on here every day and tracking my food intake on My Fitness Pal. I feel the change is going to give me a boost in the right direction of being mindful of everything I do.
It's no surprise that for months and months, I've dipped into the bag of excuses and basically used up every one to explain my lack of progress on the scale. I've also changed my mind so much about what I am and am not going to do - that it's enough to make anyone dizzy. One day I'm making goals, the next day I'm not. One day I'm going to not join a gym, the next day I am. One day I'm determined to go to the gym, and the next I'm sick and can't. The new year started and I had this belief that I could muster up the power and strength to put all of my bad habits behind me and just transform myself in to a weight loss warrior. Which, you can tell by the progress numbers in my sidebar, didn't work out for me too well.
So, after a lot of deliberation with my inner self, I realized I just had to go back to basics. I had to completely start over. I had to forget that I'd managed to lose 88lbs in a little over a year. I had to forget that I used to be able to jog 3 miles. I had to forget that not so long ago I totally knew what I was doing and how to do it. I just had to forget and tell myself that this is day 1...and strict monitoring had to be in order.
Tuesday, I started logging my food intake to My Fitness Pal. I was able to enter all of my food from the day before and realize that I was eating way too much - even when I thought I wasn't. Within one day, I was keeping a close eye on what I was eating - and curbed it staying under my calorie goal on both Tuesday and Wednesday. On Tuesday and Wednesday, I also placed mini goals on here - and I reached everyone one of them. I went to the gym, I ate right, I logged, and I drank plenty of water.
Then, well yesterday came...and I didn't post any goals. It wasn't on purpose. I was so caught up with explaining Biggest Loser drama that I totally forgot to put any goals up. You wanna know what happened? Well, I didn't go to the gym after work for one. It wasn't a total I didn't go because I didn't want to scenario - but close enough. I told myself I wanted to go - but I found excuses why I couldn't. Butter was kinda moody, so I didn't want to chance leaving him with his sister while I was working out. I had a meeting at the school at 5pm, and I didn't want to show up to that all sweaty. Totally lame ass excuses!
Wanna know what I did instead? I went shoe shopping. Yep. You read that right. Instead of going to the gym and working my behind off to be able to earn money to buy my new wardrobe in the future - I went and bought shoes. Lord have mercy! Don't ask me what I was thinking - I honestly don't know.
Do you want to know what happened once the meeting at the school was over and I was driving home? I felt guilty. I felt like I had cheated myself. I felt bad and realized that I'd totally screwed myself with coming up with those lame-o excuses....and it was too late to do anything about it.
Wanna know something else I did? I went over my calorie goal. My goal - when there is no exercise involved - is 1480. I ate 1657. Not extremely bad, but if I had gone to the gym and did my cardio...like I was supposed to... I would have earned an extra 300 exercise calories and would have been under my calorie goal. I know that the only reason I didn't completely screw the day up with my eating was because I was still logging my food - and refused to let that number climb any higher.
So, what have I learned? Well, putting my goals on here - for the world to see - is important. It's not important for anyone else to see what I'm planning to do... but it is important for me to see what I'm planning to do...and then doing it.
Here are my goals for today:
- Eat less than my calorie goal
- Eat all of my meals and snacks - and keep them within caloric range
- Drink lots of water
- Go to the gym to make up for the missed session from yesterday
I have to go to my mom's tonight to pick up my brother. I could use that as an excuse as to why I can't work out after work... but I'm not gonna. It's Friday night. If I have to pick my brother up an hour later because I go to the gym first, then so be it. It's not going to hurt anyone. And it's definitely going to benefit me.
Till next time. ;)