Sunday, April 01, 2012

Time For a New Mantra - And No April Fools About It

Dear Diary....

Happy April Fools Day!!  I don't plan on having any pranks played on me today, neither do I plan on playing any pranks - but if you are...enjoy!!

Also, I need to wish P-Momma a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!  It's the one birthday each year I can actually remember without having Facebook or my calendar to remind me.

So, today is April 1st.  The beginning of a new month.  A realization that three whole months have passed since I declared that I was in it to win it this year.  And a realization that I'm heavier now than I was three months ago.  That sux!

There is exactly 46 days and 6 hours until the end of school this year.  Not like I'm counting or anything.  But that also means I have 46 days and 6 hours to get back in to my size 16 pants.  It may sound like a lot - but in perspective, it's only a month and 16 days.  YIKES!!

On January 1st, I dedicated a new mantra to my life - NO LIMITS.  The purpose was to free myself from strict goals and let myself soak in success rather than setting myself up for failure.  As you can see, that didn't work out so well.  I've been a little too free.  I'm not soaking in any success, I'm looking at a scale that reads higher than it did when I released myself from limits. 

So, it's back to the limits for me...and developing a new mantra.  I thought long and hard about what word could properly describe my situation.  I've been struggling - that's no surprise.  I haven't been able to fall in to a routine that keeps me away from the mindless eating and lack of exercise.  I have a lot of barriers and walls standing in my way.

There's only one word that can help me through all of that:  OVERCOME!

It's time to overcome.  Overcome the struggles, the barriers, the excuses, the lack of motivation.

I just love the quote associated with the picture I decided to use for my mantra.  "We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey".  Isn't that the truth?  Falling further and further away from my goal brings about a lot of pain - and it's time to use that pain to fuel me for my journey.

There will be more than my weight loss struggles standing in my way over the next 6 weeks.  The struggles of job hunting.  Yep.  In two weeks, it will be that time... time to start reaching out to principles and begging them to give me an opportunity to fulfill my life long dream.  I will have to overcome the fear.  The stress.  The agony.  And the waiting.

While many people are looking towards these next six weeks as a downward slope to the end of the school year - and the time to relax - I'll be looking at the next six weeks as an uphill battle, a climb to the top, a vigorous journey.  Before there will be any relaxing or celebrating the coming of the summer - I must first focus on overcoming the battle of my ever expanding waistline and the battle of finding that job.

I spent a good part of yesterday morning finishing up and tweaking my resume and portfolio.  It's ready and eager to be sent out to the school districts.

I spent a good part of yesterday thinking about getting my summer clothes to fit.  What I have to do to accomplish that goal.  Lots of exercise, lots of eating right.

I also spent some time wondering how I can merge the two.  I have to find a way to use the pain that I know will eventually come from the job hunt to fuel the journey of getting my waistline to shrink small enough to fit in to smaller pants.  That was a more difficult task.

I recollected my thoughts from this time last year.  This time last year, I weighed 212lbs.  Can you believe it?  I was fierce back then.  I loved the person I had become.  But then, of course, I stepped in to job hunting mode - and that consumed my every waking minute.  This year, I get to do it all over again - but I can take what I learned last year and apply it.

Rather than come home feeling defeated and dive in to a bag of cookies, I can head to the gym and work off some frustration on the elliptical or by lifting some weights.  Or, if my allergies start to get a little better, I can go for a 4 or 5 mile walk.  Maybe, I can use my frustration to fuel running again.  Boy, did I love me a hard frustration release run last year.  The whole time I did nothing but practice interview questions in my head - and before I knew it, I'd been running for 12 minutes.  Would love to go back to that again.

For the next 46 days, I'm sticking to the detox plan.  A semi-modified version anyway.  White flour and sugar are going to be a big no-no.  I will, however, be allowing myself whole grain breads and pastas - eventually.  I'll be sticking to a 1400-1600 calorie per day diet - modified to a 1600-1800 calorie intake on days I burn more than 200 calories exercising.  Which, I hope to do almost every day.

This week, I have no after school activities planned.  That means there's absolutely no reason I can't go to the gym.  Even if my allergies are acting up - I am determined to go and do some light work.  I will also be adding yoga in to my routine EVERY SINGLE MORNING.  If I get up at 4am and do yoga for 20-30 minutes, I'll still have plenty of time to get on here and write my blog before the angels get out of bed.

So, my plan of action is in place.  I have the tools I need to succeed.  It's now all about overcoming the barriers that have prevented me from succeeding - and overcome I shall.

Till next time. ;)


1 comment:

  1. Big goals and big plans = big changes! Yeah!

    I know first hand how demoralizing it can be to look for a job in education these days. It sucks! If you keep up with the working out and eating right, you will increase your confidence and that will NO DOUBT help you on your quest to find a job.

    You will overcome the barriers!! Have fun at the gym tomorrow! Enjoy your 'YOU' time.


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