BYOC - Ready for the Weekend!!

I absolutely LOVE Bring Your Own Crazy. It really helps me when I'm struggling with coming up with stuff to write about. Draz does BYOC every Friday...and it's not very often I actually do it on a Friday, too. But, today - I'm needing a blogging break...so BYOC it is!

I copy the five questions that Draz comes up with, and then answer them. Simple. Easy peasy. And it's open for you, too, if you want to copy them and answer them on your own blog. Just be sure to go check out Draz's answers too...she's so much funnier and wittier than I could ever dream of being.

1. Do you know your credit score? Do you check it regularly? Does it matter to you?

It's so weird that Draz asked this question today, because my credit score is something I've been thinking about all week. I haven't checked it, yet, but I plan on doing it pretty soon. I want to buy a new house...sometime in the near future. Even though Hubby isn't exactly on board with moving - I want to. I want to own a house, and make it in to my dream home. In order to do that, I have to have the credit to get a loan.

My credit, about ten years ago, was TERRIBLE!! My score was around 480. Some of it was my fault, some of it wasn't. Since then, I've tried to do what I could to repair it - piece by piece. I still have some things that need to be paid off - that should have disappeared off my credit by now, but that doesn't seem to be happening.

Last year, I was able to get a credit card for the first time in my life. I don't like credit cards - but I figured it would be a good way to build some credit. I pay the balance off each and every month, and only use it for small items like gas.

Sometime this week, I'll be doing a lot more looking in to my credit and my credit score to see how far I've come.

2. What’s your go to “water-cooler-off-er” each summer? Small kiddie pool, “real” pool, sprinkler, public pool, hotel pool, or stay inside in the air and never don a bathing suit ever?

The subject of pools is touchy with me right now. I've been living at my parent's house for the past three weeks babysitting while they enjoy a dream vacation in London, England. They, also, have a beautiful pool in their back yard - that they didn't open before they left. If they had opened the pool, I'd have spent almost every single day out there with the kids - and been in absolute paradise. But they didn't, so paradise is VERY far off.

P-Momma has a nice pool in her backyard, but the drive to her house from my parent's is over an hour. I've taken the kids over there twice, and I plan on doing my first swimming in her pool tomorrow.

Once we go home, I plan on taking the kids to the water park. There is a huge pool equipped with diving boards and water slides. The kids love it, and when I can push past the embarrassment of wearing my bathing suit in public - I enjoy it too. Plus, I will be much closer to P-Momma when I go home and will probably spend a lot of time at her house.

3. Describe your phone cover…if you have one.

I have a boring, plain, black soft cover on my phone. I keep meaning to order something that's more my taste - but just haven't gotten around to it.

I want a pink one - bright pink. I prefer hard covers, so I'm going to be an Ebay fool and see what I can find. For my iPhone 3GS, I had a purple cover, a light pink cover, a red cover, and a hot pink cover that I changed a few times a week. Unfortunately, they didn't fit my phone when I upgraded to a 4S. Now it's time to find a few that fit my taste a little more.

4. If you ever had a wedding, what were your colors or theme? If you aren’t married – but plan to be some day – what will your colors or theme be?

Wow, another very appropriate question being that I've touched on the subject of weddings - or planning one - in the past couple of weeks.

To be honest, I haven't really taken much time to think about what my wedding would be like. I know that a few years ago, I picked out a beautiful red gown that I wanted to be married in. In Asian culture, getting married in red is a good thing. In our culture, I apparently would be representing the complete opposite of what a white dress represents...so I'm not quite sure I want to get married in a color that labels me with a big scarlet letter. Or dress.

My colors would probably be pink and purple. They are my favorite colors. Hubby is also a fan of pink - he dies his hair pink - so I could totally get away with that. I'd probably have my maid of honor in a purple dress, and my bridesmaids in pink.

In terms of a theme, I don't have any idea. I just want something small, but pretty. I'd love to get married outside, by a lake.. but I'd probably sweat my behind off and end up looking like a hot mess. Of course, I could get married in the spring... but my luck would be that it'd rain and storm the entire day.

Hubby is against wearing a tux to get married in, and I don't know if I'm OK with that. If I'm in a beautiful dress, and all my bridesmaids look beautiful - I don't want to groom's side to look like a bunch of thugs.

I don't know. Before I start making any wedding plans, I've got to lose all this weight.. cause this Fat Woman is not getting married in anything bigger than a size 12 wedding gown.

5. Repeat question: summarize your week.

This week has been the best week out of the three I've been at my parent's house. I'm much less stressed. Butter has been with P-Momma all week, and that's given Peanut and I some much needed bonding time. The kids haven't driven me completely nuts - so that's even better.

I've found my motivation to lose the weight again - and all it took was looking through some pictures of me from last year when I'd lost a butt load of weight and looked FANTABULOUS! I went for a 30 minute walk Wednesday night, and surprised myself completely when I got out of bed this morning and went out for another 30 minute walk.

I really liked the early morning walk. There were no kids, and the weather was cool and beautiful. I think I'm going to do that every morning until my parents get home. And, if I decide to walk in the evenings, too, then that's even better.

I'm still on my HGTV kick, and have been consumed with the thought of buying a house. With the price of houses, right now, it's definitely a buyer's market...and I think we need to jump on the bandwagon while we still can. My biggest challenge is going to be convincing Hubby. He is adamantly against moving any time soon...and that just doesn't work for me. There needs to be some conversation and compromise. I'm 30 years old, and don't want to be living in the house I'm living in forever. I don't like the house - and I think it's high time I got to get an upgrade. I want to be young enough, and my kids still be young enough, to have our dream home.

Alright, that's about it for me for today. If you want to answer these questions on your own blog - please feel free.

Till next time. ;)

One Small Step for This Fat Woman, One Giant Leap For My Motivation

So, I've got good news and some bad news.

The bad news is, I didn't run yesterday.

The good news is, I walked instead.

It didn't take me more than 3 seconds to realize that this Fat Woman has completely lost the ability to run more than 5 seconds. Especially on a driveway that is uneven, full of large rocks, and a major tripping/injury hazard.

I could have just given up the minute I realized that I wasn't able to run anymore... but you have to walk before you can run, right? I figured I might not be fit enough to run, anymore, but I started running by walking first...so that's exactly what I did.

Up and down the driveway I went. Music in my ears, little kids walking with me - and then deciding to just stand at one end and cheer me on. OK, they weren't cheering me on, but with the music playing in my ears - that's what I imagined they were doing.

I ended up doing 9 laps up and back down the driveway - for a total of 1.8 miles. That took me 30 minutes. I would have kept going, but I had to stop to deal with a 3 year old whom I'm trying to potty train that decided to do her business in her underwear while we were outside. But, being able to go 30 minutes without being interrupted is a good start...and much better than nothing.

Today, I'm going swimming at a friend's house. Not sure I can get much exercise done in the pool with a bunch of kids in there... but if I get home early enough, I'll go for a walk after dinner again.

Going for the walk helped clear my head and was very relaxing. While I'm doing it for my physical wellbeing, it will also be a huge help to my emotional wellbeing. Of course, now I'm beating myself up that I've spent 3 weeks here - and I'm just now starting this...but can't dwell on the past. I can only keep putting one foot in front of the other and pushing myself forward now.

I'm going out today to pick up the few things I need in the kitchen to help me with my clean eating. My parents, luckily, only eat Whole Grain bread...and the sugar free kind. So the bread works perfectly for eating clean. There are lots of veggies in the freezer. Although, my parents prefer white rice - so I'm gonna have to pick up some brown rice. Maybe some couscous, too.

My head feels like it's back in the game...and yes, it really did happen overnight. Just simply looking over some old pictures gave me a jolt of how much I needed to get back to doing what I did. I've avoided looking at my pictures because I thought it would depress me...had I known what it would have done, I'd be looking at them every single day.

One thing I just have to keep reminding myself is that I have to stay strong. If I want to start the new school year off as a new woman, I have to get rid of my old habits. I want to stand in front of my new class full of energy, full of life, and demonstrating what it's like to be full of confidence.

I'm going to reset my weight loss counter today. My starting weight is 246lbs (insert major eye roll). My goal is to lose 20lbs by August 1st. I will weigh in each Wednesday - like I used to. I will log my walks on the counter on the side of my blog. I will, I will, I will!!

I have no time for anymore setbacks, for being lazy, or not giving it my all. I begged and pleaded with the universe to give me a teaching job - and I got one. I also made a deal with myself that if I found that job, I'd buckle down and lose the weight... finally. Well, if I can't keep a deal with myself - how can I expect a classroom of 25 kids to trust me? I can't...so I have to lead by example.

It's just one small step for me that will lead to one giant leap into a new life.

Till next time. ;)

Running, Running Where For Art Thou?

So, last night I got this urge. An urge I haven't felt in way too long. An urge I've been trying to make happen - but just wasn't able to coax it out of me. What was the urge? To run. A lot.

Unfortunately, the urge came after it was dark outside. There was no running that was going to happen at that exact time. But, I hoped that I could hold on to the urge for the next day...and you know what? I did.

As soon as I finish writing this, the kids and I are going out. The kids can play outside while I heave my behind up and down the driveway a few times. The driveway is 1/10th of mile one way. My goal is to go for 3 miles - which would be 15 times up and down the driveway. Totally doable.

I don't know where this sudden burst of energy came from. I know that my self esteem was feeling pretty funky last night. I was looking at some pics of me from last year - when I was at my lowest weight. I liked the way I looked, and I could see major differences to how I look now. That made me really sad. I know that I got that way by walking and running. Yes, I improved my diet - but a major factor was the change from being sedentary to getting out and walking and eventually jogging. Once that started, the weight was flying off.

I had originally told myself that I would wait until I went home before I really started buckling down on exercising - but I've changed my mind... once again. But that's me..can never make my mind up and keep it that way.

My self esteem means a lot to me. I like to feel good in my own skin and I want to ooze confidence. That's something that's lacking - in a major way right now. The more I loathe myself, the more damage I'm doing to myself. If I want the woman back that was in those pictures from last year, I have to do something about it.

And I know what you're probably thinking... I've said all this many, many times and haven't followed through. And you'd be very right. I know I've said stuff like this over and over and over - and when push comes to shove, I keep my behind planted firmly in my chair and come up with a long list of excuses.

But, the excuses have to stop. I'm down to about 7 weeks left before I have to think about getting in my classroom and getting it set up. Seven weeks is not a lot of time at all in the weight loss world. Some people are lucky to lose a couple of pounds in seven weeks. I have to lose at least 20lbs before I start feeling more comfortable with myself again. A twenty pound loss should put me back in to some of my old clothes.

In order to lose 20lbs in 7 weeks, I'd have to lose 2.85lbs a week. That's a huge challenge. A healthy weight loss is 1-2lbs a week. But, with as much weight as I have to lose - I could lose 5lbs in a week if I put in some major exercising and really get strict with my diet. Not every week, but maybe a week or two out of the 7.

When I did 2 weeks of eating clean, I lost 8lbs. EIGHT POUNDS in TWO WEEKS. And that was with no exercising. Yes, I've put the weight back on very quickly - because I let my eating habits fall to the wayside. I know that in order to lose it and keep it off, there can't be any going back. I have to change my lifestyle FOR GOOD.

If I was able to lose 4lbs in a week by just changing my diet and drinking more water - just think about what I could achieve if I was exercising on top of that. Biggest Loser eat your heart out? Maybe...although I'm not setting my sights up too high for miracles of that magnitude.

It's fitting that Wednesdays used to be my weigh in days. And I suddenly have this epiphany on a Wednesday. It is Wednesday, right? Again - I'm not able to keep my days all going together. But today is going to be day one.

I've dug around the kitchen at my parents, and I think with just a few things from the store - I could eat mostly clean until they get back. I could at least eat 100 times better than I have been eating. I know that I have to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I know that I have to start drinking my 80ozs of water each day. And, I know that I'm going to have to start doing some major exercise each and every day. While I'm at my parents I'll focus on jogging...and then as soon as back home, I'll start planning some gym trips a couple times a week for some strength training.

Cardio is key right now...the strength training will come.

A loss of 20lbs over the next 7 weeks would put me back down to the 225lbs mark. That's when I first started fitting in to size 16s. By the time I got down to 212lbs, size 14s were a very near goal. I don't want to think about all that...just getting me back in to the size 16s is my goal for now. I think I could do that if I put myself down to 220-225lbs. Knowing that I'm 20lbs away from that mark is very frustrating... but I need to learn why and how I got to be where I am now. It's because I didn't make the lifestyle change I needed to make.

So, enough chit chat..and time to start putting my money where my mouth is. The jogging isn't going to get done as long as I'm sitting here....so off I go.

Till next time. ;)

I Think It's Tuesday... Which Means True Confessions

I'm so freaking lost on my days, I didn't even know it was Tuesday until I sat down to write my blog.  What's worse is that it's my niece's birthday today - and I still didn't know the actual day.  That's what summer will do to a person, I guess.

I'm sitting in front of my computer, at home.  It feels nice.  I love my iPad, but it always feels good to be sitting in my office, in front of my laptop.  Probably because there are no kids in here, it's quiet, and...well...it's my own house.  Gee, I'm so homesick.

So, it's Tuesday - from what I understand - so that means it's time for me to dish the dirt in this week's installment of True Confessions.  Let's get started, shall we?

I confess that I have somehow gained 6lbs since moving to my mom's.  How a person gains 6lbs by only eating one meal a day is beyond me... but if anyone can do it, I can.  And, I am fully aware of how bad it is that I'm only eating one meal a day... but I can't even remember what day it is, let alone remember to eat three times a day.  Sue me.

I confess that I'm so freaking excited that there's only 9 more days until my parents return from their vacation.  Thank all things Holy.  Any more time than that, and I'd be clinically insane, weigh 500lbs, and may take up drinking.  Well, maybe I would take up drinking, forget to eat altogether, and maybe end up losing some weight.  Food for thought.

I confess that I have watched WAY too much HGTV this week...and now it's got me all hooked on wanting to buy a new house.  I must stop watching shows that have so much effect on me.  I mean, I haven't even started working yet - and I'm already dreaming about buying a house and spending the money I haven't even earned.  HGTV is the devil!

I confess that going to the wedding on Saturday didn't really have much effect on my wanting to get married.  I think it's because I was surrounded by beautiful people - and all I could think about was how fat and frumpy I'd look in a wedding dress.  Although, maybe if I actually set a date and started planning for a wedding, it would shoot a rocket up my behind to actually lose the freakin' weight.

I confess that I want to go swimming some time this week, but I'm scared to death about trying on my bathing suit.  I know it's not going to fit - but I refuse to buy another one.  Just not going to do it.  I got rid of my fat clothes for a reason...and it wasn't so I could replace them.  I either lose the weight again, or go nekked...and I'm pretty sure there's not a single person on this planet that would want that.

I confess that I'm really enjoying the quality time that Peanut and I have had this week.  With Butter spending some time with P-Momma, it's given Peanut and I some time to hang out together.  She's been a great help with all the kiddos, and she and I have sat on the porch each night chatting.  Makes all my heart warm and fuzzy to think that my daughter is actually enjoying spending some time with me.  They grow up too dang fast!

I confess that I honestly think I've earned my Domestic Goddess badge the past couple of weeks.  I've handwashed dishes every day.  I've cooked.  I've cleaned.  I've done all of the laundry for everyone in the house.  I am very proud of myself.  I've learned what you're supposed to do when being a good parent.  It's only taken me this long to learn.  HA!

I confess that I really need to get off of here and go grocery shopping.  I've spent enough time enjoying my computer, and I need to do what I'm supposed to be doing.

Till next time. ;)

BYOC - On a Monday

I was having a really hard time coming up with something to write about this morning - but I wanted to write something. I'm sitting out on the porch, enjoying the rain, cooler air, and time with Peanut....so it's a perfect blogging scenario. The little kids are watching cartoons, and I haven't been bothered by "Momma can I have" or "Jo-Jo [whoever] is looking at me" once. That was until I wrote that sentence.. but it's all good.

So, I realized that I didn't do Draz's BYOC on Friday. I love Bring Your Own Crazy cause it works wonders for situations like right now - I can't think of anything to write about, so I want to write.

And that's what I'm going to do. So, it's BYOC - Monday Edition!

1. Are you a daily purse switcher, an often purse buyer or a one purse kind of woman? What factors influence your purse buying?

Purses are my "thing". The one thing I love to collect. Apart from shoes. I have laundry baskets and trash bags full of purses. Some I own that I've never used, others I've bought and used them until I wear a hole in them.

I am not a daily purse switcher. I buy a new purse and will use it for a while, until I get bored with it - or realize that it doesn't really fit my needs. I often prefer bigger purses, but then I get mad that the purse is too big that I can't ever find anything and then switch to a smaller purse. Then I hate the fact that the purse doesn't hold everything I need to take with me - and I get sucked in to a vicious cycle.

The only factor that influences my purse buying is the price. I don't ever buy a purse at full price. I'm a cheap-o and figure if I'm going to buy purses in the volume I buy them in, they need to be on clearance or discounted somehow. I won't buy a $20 purse at full price, but I'll buy a $40 purse if it's on sale for $20. It's stupid logic, but I always feel better knowing I got a bargain.

Right now, I'm hooked on my messenger bag type purse. I love it's size, and the fact that it fits nicely over my neck - so I don't have to really hold it on. It's the first purse that I put up a few months ago, and then dug it back out because the purse I switched to wasn't cutting it for me. The only downfall to this purse is the fact that I can't ever find my black phone in the purse - so that needs to be fixed by buying a hot pink cover for my phone.

2. What’s your favorite board game?

Even though I haven't gotten to play in years - my favorite board game is Trivial Pursuit. I remember playing it when I was younger, and we would play for hours because I, and the people I played with, never knew any of the answers. Now that I'm a little wiser - in my own head - I enjoy a good game. I really like the Pop Culture version...that one I do really know a lot about.

3. Are you a sore loser who throws fits or a gracious winner? Are you competitive?

I am VERY competitive. If I play, I play to win. I refuse to let anyone win or go easy on someone. That even includes kids. If I'm playing some form of game with a child, I don't believe in just letting them win. They need to learn the value of competition - and that you can't win everything. I know that may sound bad, but it's true. It may explain why I was not asked to return for a second season as a softball coach. I expected those kids to play to win - and wouldn't listen to "they are just playing for fun". What's the point in that? If you play a competitive sport, it should be to win.

I also believe, however, in being a good winner and a good loser. That's how I teach my kids to be - both biological and students. They should play to win, but losing isn't the end of the world, either. If they do win, they should accept it gracefully - and thank the other people for a good game. If they lose, they should do it gracefully - and thank the other people for a good game.

That's what I teach my kids - but I don't teach by example. It's horrible for me to admit, but I can sometimes be a bad loser - and a bad winner. I'm usually only ever bad at it when I'm playing Hubby. We like to play Risk and Scrabble on the iPad. I usually do really well in Scrabble - and will mock and jeer him. He's really good at Risk, and I'll get ticked off when he starts invading all of my countries - and kicking my behind. I get all moody and act like a little kid and tell him I don't want to play anymore. He doesn't like playing games with me much - and I don't pretend not to know why.

Peanut also just informed me that I do have the same tendancies when I'm playing with family members too. Her words were "you're not the best loser, but you don't lose very often". That about sums it up pretty fairly, I guess.

4. Tell us something you are afraid of that is a physical item…like spiders, deep water, heights, snakes, thunderstorms, first dates, childbirth, etc.

SPIDERS!! OMG....That's the one thing that I have always had the worst phobia of. As I read the question to Peanut, she yelled out spiders before I even read any of the options. She knows. It doesn't matter the size of the spider - if I see one, I freak out.

Living in the woods has helped me a little. Now, I keep a can of spider killer around me at all times..and as long as I can get a good shot in with the spray can, I can kill the spider. But if not? I'm screaming like a child and yelling for Hubby to come take care of it. I won't/can't sleep if there is a spider in the house that has gotten away without being killed.

I also don't like grasshoppers. Something about them jumping as high and as far as they do creeps me out. I can walk through a yard among jumping grasshoppers, but if one jumps on me - I freak the F out. I start jumping around, clawing at my clothes, and screaming at the top of my lungs.

Also on my list of fears/don't likes are heights, wasps, bees...bugs in general, and rodents.

Snakes are not on that list - being that I own a 4' ball python. He lives in a 100 gallon tank that sits right next to my bed. The only time I tolerate a rodent in my house is when it's being fed to my snake. Yeah, he eats rats. I can only imagine what Draz will say to me after reading this. Sorry, Draz.

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week.

I've spent another week at my parent's house - and I won't lie. It sucks big grasshopper balls. Although, it's not as bad as it was the first two weeks. I only have four kids right now. Butter is spending the week with P-Momma, and one of the foster kids went to stay with a family member until my parents come home. Only having four kids makes life much more tolerable.

I got to go to a wedding on Saturday. Hubby and I went without any kids - and it was so nice to have an evening out. I also started getting some wedding fuzzies. I want to get married, now, but I refuse to spend a whole bunch of money on a wedding. I want something simple, small, but nice. All I can think about is rather spending money on a new house than on a wedding - so I'm not sure what kind of wedding I'll end up with.

I got all of the paperwork mailed in for my MO teaching license, so that's another thing that has been taken care of. In a few weeks, I'll be good to go at my new job - and that's a WONDERFUL feeling.

There has been no effort on my part to do anything about my weight situation. I'm still eating all wrong, and haven't done any form of exercise... despite all the claims that I would. I could blame the hot weather, I could blame the stress... but I have no time for excuses. It's all on me.

I will admit, though, I felt very fat and frumpy at the wedding. I didn't like feeling like that. I was surrounded by beautiful people - and that made me very self aware of how I fit in to that picture. Thank goodness I was the one taking all of the photos - cause I don't want my friends to have pictures of me to look back on years from now.

All in all, though, it wasn't a bad week.

OK, that's it for me today. Thank goodness for Draz and BYOC. It's so nice to have a blogging break and write about something fun.

Wedding Day!

Not mine.  A friend's.  He's getting married today, and asked me to be his photographer.  I'm not sure if I've shared this much, but I used to be a photographer.  Well, I did photography for people.  I took pictures then spent hours and hours editing photos to make them look wonderful.  I was pretty good at it, too, but then school got in the way - and I no longer had any amount of hours to spend editing photos. 

Doing photography for a friend is a little nerve wracking - especially since I'm a little rusty.  But, he's assured me that he just wants some pictures of his big day - and also wants me to have a good time.  Well, Hubby and I both to have a good time.  And, being that I've been stuck in a house with 6 children for the past two weeks... it will be good for my soul.

Weddings have never really had much affect on me.  I like going, but I'm not one of these women that goes to a wedding and start dreaming that I was walking down the aisle.  I've never been married, and it's never really appealed to me.  Hubby and I basically live like we're married.  We have our house, we have children...all that's missing is my having the same last name as him.

But, for some reason, I think today may be different. 

You see, Hubby and I have been engaged for years.  The plan of marriage has been there - but I had certain things I wanted to accomplish before I took the giant leap into matrimony.  Like, getting through college.  Do you know how hard it is for a married person to get financial assistance to go to school?  Damn near impossible.  I knew if I wasn't married, I'd get some help - and I did.  A lot of help.  I only have $22,000 in student loans compared to the $60,00+ I would have had I been married.  And still having $22,000 in student loans chaps my behind a little - but compared to what it could have been..I guess I should be grateful.

Once I was finished with school, I then wanted to find a teaching job.  I wanted to be able to contribute equally to a marriage.  While I have most definitely financially contributed to the relationship Hubby and I have - I still wanted the dream of fulfilling my career goals before getting married.  And now?  Well, I finally have the job I've been wanting.

So, what do I have now that's standing in the way of me finally biting the bullet and saying "I do"?  Nothing.  Nada.  I'm finally at the point where there are no more excuses reasons that I can hold off on wanting to get married. 

I know this probably all sounds weird to a lot of people.  I mean, usually it's every girls dream to want to get married.  It's not like I come from a broken home or a past of divorce or the like.  My parents are both still happily married. Maybe it was some of the broken relationships I've had...which turned me off of wanting to make a final commitment. But, after 7 happy years together...I feel like marriage won't change anything between Hubby and I.  I've accomplished the things I wanted to accomplish.  So, am I now ready to take the plunge?

I think that today will have an impact on that question.

Seeing the beautiful bride all dressed up.  Seeing the flower girls and bridesmaids and groomsmen.  Will I suddenly start getting that urge, that feeling that I want to be that woman?  I guess we'll have to see.

I guess there is something else that will have to come before I agree to jump in to a wedding dress and walk down any aisle.  That would be losing all of this weight.  Someone will be there to take pictures of my big day - and I don't want to look back at my wedding photos and think how horrible and fat I look in my dress.  I don't want bridesmaids that will look 100 times better than I do.  I want my Husband to be able to carry me over the threshold without pulling a muscle in his back!

So, I go off to this wedding today with the intent that it will filll me with the wedding fuzzies...and maybe, just maybe I'll start thinking about making some wedding plans.  Which, will of course, include major wedding day weight loss. 

There's hope for me yet. 

Till next time. ;)

I'm Singing in the Rain

Today, I'm in a much better mood. It's so obvious that even Hubby commented how much happier I sound when he spoke to me on the phone a little while ago. Even though the day got off to a very rocky start - the day has gone much better...and now I'm enjoying a relaxing evening sitting on the porch while it rains.

I didn't get to write this morning, because I was having some serious family drama to deal with. But, it got worked out and now I'm enjoying a very relaxing evening with my three kids and only one extra kid. The two little ones that are here are playing in the rain, Peanut is sitting out here with me and having civil conversation, and Butter is amusing himself by riding his bike and getting some much needed exercise to purge some of his energy. Life couldn't be better!! Well, it could - Hubby would be here. That would make it perfect.

I'm not happy about some of the situations that I got trapped in today, but I'm happy with the outcome - only because it makes life easier on everyone involved. I know that sounds completely cryptic and obscure...but it's the best I can do and as much as I can say under the circumstances I'm in.

Things have gone so well today that I'm even considering going out and doing some yard work on Sunday...something that's not really up my alley AT ALL. But, I went out to my brother's garden today to see how it's going...and it's in a little need of some TLC. I'm not sure if the nice weather has done something to me - but know I want to do something to help bring the garden back to life and ensure that my brother will have some nice produce waiting for him when he comes back. If you are reading this and thinking about calling an ambulance - because I've obviously completely gone insane - don't. I'm OK - really.

I don't know what's going on with me - but whatever it is, I like it. I'm feeling good. I'm happy. I got to talk to my Mom on the phone today - and that always makes me feel better. I'm going out with Hubby tomorrow afternoon - just me and him. Knowing that makes me feel very happy. Only having one extra kid to take care of this weekend has drastically reduced the amount of fighting in the house. That makes me EXTREMELY happy.

All in all, life is good. I have nothing to complain about today. Again, hold off on calling the ambulance...I'm good. I promise.

This evening is the kind of evening I imagined when it came to having a whole summer off work. Being able to spend time with the kids - or at least watch them while they're having fun. Being able to sit and talk to my oldest daughter...and laugh and joke. Seeing Butter enjoy himself. This is finally starting to feel like a vacation.

Well, not to have too much of a good thing - I'm going to leave my post at that. Pretty short and definitely sweet today.

Till next time. ;)