Saturday, June 09, 2012

Time For Dreams To Come True

Today isn't about weight loss. It isn't about exercising or eating right or drinking water. Not directly, anyhow. It's about fulfilling dreams, believing that all of my dreams could really come true.

I'm not talking about the dreams I have when I'm sleeping.

I'm pretty sure Christian Gray isn't going to drive up to my house in his $75,000 car, sweep me off my feet, and drive me off in to the sunset.

I'm pretty sure that Emmett Cullen isn't going to come knocking at my window in the middle of the night and take me through the woods riding on his back. Cullen Lutz for that matter, either.

I'm also very sure that I'm not going to rub a lamp and a magic genie pop out of it granting me three wishes.

Just not going to happen.

And, yes, I have dreams about make believe characters in books and movies. I can't control what happens in my head when I'm sleeping. I'm sure Hubby has dreams about other women - and if he says he doesn't, I'd call BS!

But I have other dreams. More realistic dreams.

When I walked across the stage at my graduation ceremony last May, I had the dream that I would find a teaching job and finally complete the career goal I've had since I was five years old. OK, it took a little longer than I expected... but one year later and I can put a big CHECK by that dream.

Another dream I've had for a very long time would be the dream of living in my dream home - or at least a home I owned and was able to decorate and do whatever the heck I wanted to do to it. It would be a home that provided all my children their own rooms, has a nice back yard, enough space to entertain friends.....can you tell how much I've been watching HGTV? Holy cat balls.

Anywho - even before I got hooked on HGTV, the dream has always been there.

Ten years ago, I had the WORST credit. I was young and stupid - and I still had the illusion that credit was basically free money. I didn't worry about how I would pay for things - if I could charge it, it could be mine. And it wasn't long before bill collectors were calling and I was facing the reality that I had a lot of stuff to pay for that I just couldn't afford.

Since then, I have been a lot more conscious of what credit is - and how it should be used. When I received credit card offers in the mail, I would rip them up before even opening them. Credit cards were the devil - full of temptation - and I wasn't about to get swept in. Then, I realized that a credit card could possibly help fix my long as I was wise with using it. So, I applied for a credit card with a credit line of $250...and almost collapsed with shock when I was accepted. And it wasn't one of those cards where I had to pay a huge fee to get fees, no hidden charges... just a small line of credit to help me repair some serious damage. After a few months, the credit line was upped to $500... but I didn't let that reel me in. I have been very careful with my credit card, and pay the balance outright each and every month.

So, I have been bugging the crap out of Hubby to start thinking about buying a house. He isn't for it at all. He thinks the house we live in is sufficient for now - and buying a house isn't something we could handle right now. It frustrates me beyond frustration.

I'm 30 years old. My oldest child is 12. I only have 6 more years until she's going to graduate from high school and probably move off to college. It's my dream that I find a house that all of my kids can enjoy while they are still young enough to enjoy them.

Yesterday, I decided I was going to make a few phone calls and find out exactly how far off my dream of home ownership really is. I spoke to a realtor and a loan manager. I asked questions, they answered. The loan manager was very nice, and I didn't feel pressured at all. She offered to run my credit just as a preliminary, and see exactly what she could do for me - if I decided to move forward.

You know what I found out? I'm only 4 credit points away from being able to get a zero down loan. With my income, and my income only, I could secure a line of credit of up to $120,000 and pay about the same price as what Hubby and I are paying right now to live in our house. And that may not sound a lot to some - but in my area, I could find a very nice home for that price.

All this time, I've been made to believe that home ownership was just out of the question - and come to find out, it's much closer a possibility than I ever imagined.

I don't plan on running out and buying a house tomorrow - but having some answers and an idea of what I can do in the near future makes me feel a lot better.

Dreams really can come true. I don't have a long list of dreams I want to fulfill - but I'm damn sure I'm not giving up on that list.

Now comes the challenge of convincing Hubby - UGH!!

Till next time. ;)


  1. Awesome!! 120k in Alabama gets you a nice house too so I can imagine. Good luck with hubby!

  2. For some reason I've had like no time to blog or comment or read as much as I did before...that time of year, I suppose. But I just wanted to say:

    NEVER, EVER disappointed in you, my love!!

    I do, however, feel sadness when I read things in your post about how much you 'loathe' yourself right now or that you are (maybe) putting off getting married because of your weight. I can relate to that sadness, I've been's a really hard hold to dig yourself out of.

    But again, you are doing it. You have not given up. The morning I sit down at my computer with my cup of coffee, ready to see what Joanna has to say and there is no more blog - well, that would be the day I'm disappointed.

    So just keep fighting the good fight. Put yourself first every day. Keep walking. You'll get there!! xoxox :) :)

  3. I seriously teared up when I read your comment, Jenn.

    It is sometimes hard to read back over what I've said about myself - but it's the truth. And, when I don't like the way I look it helps motivate me to do something about it.

    You are definitely right about one thing - the day I stop blogging is the day I finally give up forever...and that's just not going to happen.

    And, rest easy knowing that my weight isn't the reason I'm not getting married. I have SOOO many other reasons....but being able to wear a small wedding gown is just one of the terms I have made for myself.

    I love your comments - they really make me dig down deep to how I'm feeling. I have good days, I have bad days, but I will succeed!


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