Friday, June 15, 2012

Today Is The Day!!

At 5:44 this morning, I was yanked out of my slumber by a loud crash of thunder. Storms don't bother me one bit - but this one did. All of a sudden I went in to panic mode and thought "NOOOO!! Please don't let the power go out!"

You see, today is the day. The day. My parents come home, and I get to go home. But, I have stuff to do this morning...that requires power...and without it, I am capital S-C-R-E-W-E-D.

You see, being the total procrastinator loving daughter that I am, I held off on doing some stuff until this morning. I want to clean all of the bedding and wash all of the towels. That stuff requires a washer and dryer that work.

Luckily, once I got up and made a pot of coffee - the worst of the storm had passed, and the power was still on.

There was no going back to bed, however, because I was lured to the peace and quiet...and took my cup of coffee and iPad to the front porch to sit and listen to the rain.

And, this is where I've been for the past 2 hours. Just enjoying the coolness, the calmness, and the quiet. Oh, and the coffee.

If I'm being totally honest, I will admit that I will miss this part a little. Sitting on the porch, kids still sleeping, being able to write my blog with a clear mind. Of course, this part of the day doesn't usually last long... but I'll miss it all the same.

I do have a deck at my house. One that I could do the exact same thing on each and every day...maybe something I'll consider.

I also got some good news this morning. A few days ago, I pulled my credit report and noticed that there were some things on there I wasn't responsible for. It was back from 2006 when I was in a car wreck, and the other insurance company was supposed to pay for my medical bills. I guess they didn't. So, I disputed them. It's only been 3 days since I did it, and I got the notice this morning that my investigation had already been completed. And? All of the medical bills are gone! $1000 of bad credit gone from my credit file in 3 days. That's AWESOME!! Especially with the subject of house buying in the midst.

So, I'm hoping that was a sign that today is going to be a good day.

It's stupid, but I'm nervous about my parents coming home today. I thought I'd be a lot more excited... but I think it's more nerves than excitement. The strong desire to always wanting to please my parents is niggling at me now. Will they be OK with some of the minor problems that have come up while they've been away? Is there house clean enough? Have I done everything that I'm supposed to?

Despite the fact that Therapy Dude gave me a stern talking to about my obsessive desire to please my parents, and forgetting what I've done and sacrificed on their behalf so that they could have this vacation, I can't help buy worry a lot little.

I can't help it. It's something that's been engrained in to me, I guess. I'm the oldest child, so I feel that it's my responsibility to do whatever my parents ask. No isn't a word I use with them. And then, even when I do what they ask - I never think I've done it well enough. It's stupid. My parents haven't really given me reason to feel this way - but I feel it, anyway.

I'm 30 years old, and still worry about getting in to trouble with my parents. Silly and pathetic - but, maybe this time tomorrow I won't be worried anymore.

Regardless how I'm feeling, today is the day they come home...the day I've been waiting 4 very long weeks for. How can I not be happy about that? I never thought I'd admit to missing my house so much - the house I really don't like and want to move out of. But, I realize that it's not the house I miss - it's my home. Being in my house. Being with my family, my Hubby. Not having to worry about a check-list of responsibilities. That's what I've really missed.

And I have something to look forward to tomorrow. An afternoon/evening kid free. I'm going out, I'm going to have some fun, I'm going relax and soak in the few hours of freedom.

And it will be one of several I plan on having over the course of next 6 weeks before I go back to work. I've earned it - despite all my nerves and feelings. At the end of the day, I've spent the last 4 weeks with very minimal adult interaction. I need a break. I deserve a break.

Just a few more hours.

Till next time. ;)

1 comment:

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