Thursday, September 20, 2012
Chicken, Meet Head... Head, Chicken...Now Stay Together, M'Kay?
Note to self: When looking for a cute picture to go with a blog about running around like a chicken without a head...do NOT put those words in to the search bar. EWWW!!! Nobody wants or needs to see actual, live chickens getting their heads cut off.
That's a weird expression, but I get where it comes from. I've never actually seen a chicken run around without a head, but I've heard from many credible sources that chickens do, in fact, run around for a few seconds after their head has been chopped off. And however gross it may be, it's kinda funny to think about.
And that's exactly what I have been feeling like, lately.
No matter how much I think I get on top of all my responsibilities, there are just more waiting to take the place of every single thing I check off my to-do list.
There will always be more assignments to grade. There will always be grades that need to be entered in to the computer. There will always be plans to write. There will always be paperwork and data that needs to be analyzed and tracked. There will always be (for another 10 years at least) kids that need to be chauffeured around to ball games and practices.
Cluck, cluck...thump...cluck, cluck. (The thump was the head, by the way)
But, unlike the poor chicken who I can only imagine is less than thrilled about getting it's head chopped off - I actually don't mind feeling like my head's been cut off. NO. Wait. That's not right. I mean, I don't mind being so busy. I want to keep my head firmly on my shoulders - regardless of how scatterbrained I may be.
Having a never ending to-do list isn't as bad as it sounds. Sure, sometimes I get to feeling a little overwhelmed. Especially on Thursdays, when I know that progress reports go home on Fridays, there are still papers to be graded, grades to be entered, and the entire next week's plans to be written. But, knowing that my job never ends is a sense of security, safeness, self-worth. I feel needed. I feel accountable. I am depended on to do a good job, stay on top of the endless demands, and show that it's possible to come out on top - guns blazing.
And Thursday is only one day away from Friday - when I then get two days to catch up, take a breath, and prepare to start all over.
This Thursday, I'm a little more panicked than usual, however. That's because this afternoon, when I usually have a nice chunk of time to enter grades, work on progress reports, and write some plans - I don't get it this week. And on top of that, we have a field trip tomorrow - meaning no planning period or extra time to work on the paperwork stuff. AND, if that's not bad enough... this evening, when I would normally have an extra two hours after work to catch up a little - Peanut has a volleyball game and I don't have to stay at school for an extra two hours. Insert major dilemma.
For the first time since school started, I have the ability to come home at a reasonable hour. Peanut will be traveling to an away game, and then riding home with a friend. I can pack up as soon as the last student has taken themselves home. A feeling I rarely get, but am so excited about. But there's just SO MUCH TO DO!
I have one of two options: Stay at school, like I usually do, and get caught up. OR bring all of my work home with me and sit in front of my computer at home getting caught up. Either way - plenty of work to do... it's all location, location, location.
Chicken. No head.
One thing I'm sure of, though, is that no matter how frazzled I get - everything will get done. It always does. I am in situations like this every single week. There's always something that comes up, something that throws a kink in the works, some hurdle I have to jump over. And I do. Not very gracefully, but the hurdles are always jumped.
I'm five weeks in to my job, and nothing has changed about how much I freakin' love being a teacher. It's everything I ever dreamed about - and so much more. I love all of the students. I love everyone I work with. I even love all of the paperwork stuff, because it gives me a clear cut picture of how well I'm doing and areas I need to focus on. I love coming home every day completely exhausted - because I can actually feel how hard I've worked.
I know I'll get a better hang of all the duties I have to stay on top of. I know I will get a system in place and a routine in order. It will all come with time. And until then? Well, it's not so bad feeling like a chicken with it's head cut off....except for the chicken.
And, in case anyone was wondering, my ankle was still really sore after work yesterday. I bought a sock brace and some compression socks. I wore the compression socks to bed - and I don't hurt this morning. I'm going to see how my ankle feels today, after being on it for hours. I honestly believe that it's just my body not being used to being on my feet for 6-7 hours a day. But, no pain this morning is a good thing... so I'm not going to worry about it.