Monday, January 05, 2015

Here We Go Again

Welp, this is it.  The Christmas break is over, and it's time to get back to my normalcy and routine.  I have to say, I'm split completely down the middle on how I feel about it.  One half of me is so sad that I have to go back to work already, and set aside the excitement and fun I've been having, while the other half is so ready to just get my head out of the clouds and return to what I do and know.

For the first time in several years, my Christmas tree is still up and lit and I haven't even taken a second to think about taking it down.  I think tonight I'll finally get around to doing it, but it's going to be bittersweet.  Christmas is already been and gone, and now it's the beginning of a new year.  

I took some time, yesterday, to update my calendar and enter in all the activities I have going on in the next couple of months.  I have to say that as much as I wanted to give up some of the control I like to have over everything and anything, I won't be able to give up my need to plan and organize with so much crammed in to my calendar.  I don't think I get a Saturday off until the end of March, and I might be home before 6PM one or two nights a week between now and then.  Track season will be starting about then, so that will put me in to even more activities and events going on.

I start back at school next Wednesday.  There's something else I can add to my already overflowing plate.  Every Wednesday for the next eight weeks, I'll be attending class for four hours, and who knows how much work I'll have to do outside of the class.  I'm hoping and praying that it won't be as tedious or time consuming as my last class was.  I will have Sundays available for a while, and I'd like for them not to be completely taken away by my needing to do homework.  

Over the course of the Christmas break, I've lost about 5lbs.  Yep, you heard that right folks, I've LOST 5lbs over the course of CHRISTMAS.  I am going to go out on a limb and say that I have NEVER lost weight in my ENTIRE life before over Christmas.  I mean, who does that?  Well, I guess I do.  I just haven't had much of an appetite and I've been pretty busy running here, there, and everywhere that it's helped out in the weight loss department.  But, now that my life will be returning back to normal, I plan on really using it to my advantage and staying focused on seeing the scale go down.  

I have made the decision that I'm going to get back in to running again.  I know, I know, I've said that many times before.. but I REALLY mean it this time.  I'm getting to that point where I'm almost craving the release that comes from running, and I want to rush out of my house to get it.  If I want to focus on less stress, less control, and more going with the flow, it's going to be imperative for me to have some kind of release.  The change in my mindset isn't going to come easy, and I'm going to need some kind of outlet in order to stay calm and collected.  I get that from running.  If you remember, running is what got me through the last couple of years of college last time, I can use it again as I go through college this time.  Not just that, but with my mind firing at 100,000 sparks a minute, it's a great way for me to organize and calm some of the activity.  

I'm really ready for me to turn over a new leaf and work on myself.  I have always put my kids, my family, my friends, and everyone else before myself.  I think it's about time that I started bringing some of the attention back on myself a little, while still trying to manage and juggle the "mommy" role.  I have a new fire burning inside of me that's craving change.  I need change, I need to break away from the monotony that is my life, and just break free.  Everything has been so structured and orderly for so long, that it's kind of wound me up in a way that I don't like.  I need to unwind.  This break has helped me barely brush the surface of what that feeling feels like, and I'm ready for more.  It's almost like I've snagged a little thread in my brain, just like a snag in a sweater.  Eventually, you get that need to start pulling at the snag, and you pull a little more, and finally it all starts to unravel.  That's kind of how I'm feeling right now.  I can feel the little snag in my brain, and I'm about ready to start unraveling.  Not in a bad way.  This isn't about stress or me being upset or anything like that.  It's about just starting over, making a change, bringing some excitement in to my life.

I have absolutely no idea what this year has in store for me, and I'm OK with that.  I don't think I've really ever felt that way in a long time.  I have no real plans, goals, or to-dos that need to be checked off the list.  I just want to go out each day and see what happens, what adventures lay in store, and overcome any obstacles that may be thrown my way.  

But, one thing I do know is that it's time for me to get ready for, have a wonderful Monday, everyone!

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