Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Honesty... Is it Too Much to Ask For?

I've been gone from my writing for a few days, and that's simply because I've been so busy.  Life has been running at a 100MPH since Friday, and it's left little time for me to sit and think... which is probably a good thing, because we all know what happens when I start thinking.

Everything has also been really good.  Like too good, almost.  And, I felt like writing about it may jinx me somehow and cause me to start letting my mind wander in to places I don't want it to wander.  However, in the past 24 hours I've been given time to think.  And for the most part, the thinking has been good.  Then this morning, one little post on Facebook got my mind running at 300MPH and my mind starting wandering so here I am.  I needed to write.  

I have a bad habit of overthinking, reading too much in to stuff, and taking stuff to heart.  Those are bad things because they lead to bad thoughts and bad emotions.  I also take too much for granted.  When things are going well, I jump aboard cloud 9 and ride the clouds like waves.  But, deep down I know that eventually I'm going to get knocked off my cloud-surfing surfboard, and it's a long, hard ride back down to earth.  

While we're on the topic of bad habits, let's discuss the one I have where I tend to believe other people because I'm an honest person and I kind of expect that in return.  However, that's not always the case.  I put too much trust and faith in people being honest with me, and that always ends up biting me in the rear.  I know that a lot of the time I'm told stuff that people think I want to hear.  That couldn't be further from the truth.  I can't stand it when people appease me just because they're scared they're going to hurt my feelings or upset me.  You know what upsets me?  Being told something, then finding out it was all a lie.  That's a far worse hurt.  

It's one thing if I ask someone what they think of my outfit, and they respond that they like it when deep down they think it's hideous and wouldn't be caught dead in it.  I can understand that.  It's an outfit.  And as long as the person wearing the outfit seems OK with it, then why hurt them by telling them you don't like it?  Right?  But, it becomes a whole different ball game when a person asks you to tell them how they feel, and they then ramble out all of these emotions and feelings of love, care, passion....and you then find out that's not how they really feel, but they thought that's what you wanted to hear.  That stings just a little... or a lot....or is more like a hot poker being jammed in to your eyeball.

When I share my feelings, I state the truth.  It may not be what the person wants to hear, but I truly know that giving the person the truth is far better than making them believe something totally different. That ends up leading to more lies, more betrayal, and it's just not worth it.  The person may be upset with you, at first, but eventually they'll understand and respect your honesty.  Giving false emotions is like leading a person on a wonderful stroll through a meadow, taking in the sights, capturing all the beauty and wonder around, and then finding out the path leads to a secluded spot where a gang is waiting to beat the crap out of you.  And the worst part is being led to that gang by someone you trusted and cared for.  Believe me, I think it would be much easier to get the beating out of the way.  Don't lead up to it with false hope and false trust. Just get it out of the way so the person can heal and move on.

That's my opinion on the matter, anyway.

Just be honest.  Simple.  

And, yes, I feel like I've feel like someone I know isn't being completely honest with me... but don't go jumping to conclusions on what it's about, who did it, or why.  Remember what I keep reminding everyone.. my posts aren't to be taken literally.  They end up sounding far worse than what the root cause actually is.  I'm actually feeling pretty happy and good, just got a little hurt when I saw something this morning that gave me the feeling that I'm being given less than honest information.  Nothing more, nothing less.  It's not something I'm going to dwell over or let it eat at me.  I've said what I needed to say, and now I can move on feeling much better about it because I let it out right here.

I'm excited and ready for my day.  I can't believe it's Wednesday already.  I feel like this week is flying by, and that's good.  I want it to.  I'm ready for the weekend because I have big, exciting plans.  I'll be celebrating my birthday a little early, because I have so much going on the weekend of my actual birthday.  So, I'm pumped.

It's going to be a good day.

Have a great Wednesday, everyone!!

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