Happy Father's Day!!

OK, so honestly, I wasn't going to write a Father's Day post.  After writing a blog for three years, special holidays start to become a little...forced...repeated...feels like I say the same stuff just one year later.

But, I look back through my blog posts and I see that my Mom has had a couple of birthday blogs AND a couple of Mother's Day blogs.  My dad, on the other hand? Yeah...not so much.  Hubby?  Yeah...not so much.  

It gets so hard to stay on top of holidays like Mother's and Father's Day.  Mostly because I don't even remember they're happening until I see a gazillion posts on Facebook about it.  It's important for me to express how I feel about the ones I love... but sometimes I just forget the "special day" that I'm supposed to express those feelings.  Don't hate.  For Mother's Day, I got nothing.  Nada.  Wait, that's not true.  Butter and Jelly brought me home cards and gifts from church...but before they went, they had no idea that it was even Mother's Day.  

But, that's not because Hubby doesn't care...it's because we have this agreement that birthdays and Christmas are a big deal... but Mother's and Father's Day really aren't.  Not in the way of getting gifts and cards and doing all that special stuff, anyway. 

So, the only way I can make a big deal is right here on my blog.

Thankfully, I was blessed with an amazing father.  Caring, loving, supportive, stern when he needed to be, and a big push over the rest of the time.  

Yep.  That's my dad.  All 6'4" of him.  

When I was young, and in school, I felt like the coolest kid around having this man as my father.  He's a giant of a man, covered in tattoos from his head to his toes, and has a "funny accent".  No other kid had a dad like me.  

He's still that man...but now he's the coolest grandfather around.  No other kid has a grandfather this "cool" and my kids think it's awesome.  

My dad and I have had our ups and downs.  I've made stupid mistakes in my life that have disappointed him, let him down, angered him... but he's never turned his back on me.  We've always come out the other side with me accepting my mistakes, and him accepting my apologies.  I've never felt like he wasn't there for me anytime I needed him. 

I've also never felt like I had anything to prove to my dad.  He was always one of those guys that wanted his kids to grow up being responsible, doing well in school, but also enjoying childhood.  Once the "age of accountability" rolled around, it was time to get a job, learn what it meant to be an adult, and to stand on our own two feet.  

Want a car at 16?  OK, but get a job and pay for it.  Get pregnant and have a kid at 18?  OK, but have a plan to support and provide for her.  Feel a little overwhelmed and need some help?  No worries...as long as I was doing my part to show I was at least trying, I could always count on my dad to stand by me and support me.  

My dad never went to college, but it was always important to him that his kids did well in academics.  That they had a good foundation for a good adult life.  I know it must have hurt him immensely when I got pregnant at 17...thinking that my career dreams would be gone forever.  Not that he ever told me that.  I guess, in his mind, if raising a family was my destiny...then I just had to do the best I could.  I had to raise my children with the same mindset that he'd raised me.  

But, knowing how important it was to my dad for his kids to do better with their lives is one of the factors that pushed me to never give up on my dreams.  I had obstacles and hurdles, sure... but I was also taught the important lesson of hard work and sacrifice.  I had a good teacher.  And that's why I made darn sure to go to college, get my degree, and become the teacher I'd wanted to be since being a little girl.  I owed it to my father... both of my parents...for the support and drive they instilled in to me growing up.  

Now, since buying our new house, I've seen a new pride resonate in my father's eyes.  I see that he feels I've finally accomplished all of my dreams.  A beautiful family, a supportive Hubby, a college degree, a great job, and a wonderful home.  Each time he walks away, I know that he's secretly patting himself on his back and thinking "She did it!"  And I did...thanks to the love, guidance, and support that man gave me.

So, today, I say Thanks, Dad!  I love you.  You are an amazing father and grandfather.  I couldn't have asked for a better dad in my life.  

Happy Father's Day!

BUT I'M NOT DONE....

Oh, no...there's another father that needs a little kudos right now....

And that would be Hubby.

This man.  The other man in my life that is as important a father as my own...the father of my children.

Eight years ago, this awkward, quiet, not really sociable guy walked in to my life.  The life of a woman that had two small children, a heap of responsibilities on her shoulders, and a woman that only really trusted one man...her own father.  

Most men would have probably ran for the hills and never looked back after seeing the mess I was drawing them in to.  

But, not this man.

You got two small kids that are only 11 months apart?  OK.  You have a full time job that doesn't leave you much time for a social life, after being a mother?  OK.  You don't really trust men, yet, and you have your doubts that I'll even stick around?  OK.  

None of it bothered him.  

In fact, it didn't take long at all before I started noticing something about this man that I really liked...loved in fact.  And it didn't take long before I realized what it was.  He reminded me of my own father.  He was quiet.  He was hardworking.  He was supportive.  And, he never made me feel like I was a failure or I wasn't good enough or that I didn't deserve to be happy.  

It was no surprise that within a few months of us getting together, my two small children were calling him "Daddy".  He was everything and more of what I'd been looking for in a good father figure for my children.  

After being together for a few years, his ready made family was perfectly fine for him.  He had no real desires for more children... but when the news came that, too bad, so sad, he was getting another child...he didn't even flinch.  

After nine months of worrying about whether he was going to be OK with having his own child, worrying if he was going to treat his biological child different from his non-biological children, and worrying if I was heading for another repeat of having a child and being on my own....he quickly smashed away all my fears the day of delivery.

He stood by and cared for our other two children, he encouraged Peanut to be in the delivery room with us and be apart of the birth, he watched over Butter holding his new baby sister, and he welcomed our new daughter in to our home as another one of his children...not his first child.

Life hasn't been perfect for Hubby...no doubt about that.  There have been struggles and fights and drama and worries, but he's stood firm.  He's never, ever, given me the feeling that he's had enough and can't take anymore.  He's stood by me and supported me as a partner with our children.  We parent together...there has never been a feeling of my children vs. our children.  They are all OUR children.

I truly couldn't have found a better father for our children.  I know that our lives are as good as they are thanks to him.  Without him, we wouldn't be where we are now.  I doubt I would have had the ability to finish school.  I doubt I'd have been able to pursue my dreams.  I doubt my kids would have all of the latest and greatest stuff.  I doubt my kids would be as stable and loving and caring and compassionate as they are.  We needed to do it together...as a team...for the victory to come out.

Life is good.  I have two amazing men in my life that have gotten me through the good times and the bad.  They have helped mold me and build me up to the strong, independent, wonderful mother and teacher that I am.  

I don't know what I'd do without either of them.

I love you, Honey!  You are an amazing father, and I'm so thankful to have you in my life.  Life just wouldn't be the same, or as wonderful without you.

Happy Father's Day!!

And Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful father's out there.  

Toodles,

Jo

Hello Weekend!

Have I really only been working for two days?  Are you sure?  Cause it sure does feel like I've been working for days and days and days...without any rest or down time.

OK, so going back to work after being off for three weeks is rough.  Everyone told me it would be.  They told me I'd regret taking the time off, and that I'd much prefer working the first two weeks of summer school.  

They were right.  But, they were also wrong.  

I am having a hard time adjusting back into such a fast paced environment, which really isn't anything like I do during the school year.  I honestly think that it wouldn't have mattered whether I waited or not...I'd still feel as exhausted as I am now.  It's switching and changing every thirty minutes.  It's spending half the day inside and half the day outside.  I have to rush through lessons so fast, that it's enough to make my head spin.  Nothing could have prepared me for that.

And at the end of the day, I really needed those three weeks off.  I needed the time to be able to move in to our new home, unpack, get a feel for the place.  The last week of school was so stressful on me, because I was in between two houses, and just didn't have the time I needed to do what I needed to do.  Had I started teaching summer school right out of the gate, I'd be in a total frenzy by now.  There's just no way my sanity would have lasted while I taught summer school.  The break was a must for me to do what I needed to do...regardless of how hard it is now to get back in to the swing of things.

Hubby wants to get out and do something today.  I'm actually excited by that.  As nice as it would be to do nothing but lounge in the pool and lay on the couch all day, I'd much rather be out with the family having some fun.

His idea?

Possibly a game of miniature golf.  

Fitting, I suppose, being that I'm supposed to be teaching golf in the afternoons of summer school.  I'm not, I'm teaching frisbee golf, but it would be nice to at least let Jelly play.  She's been talking about playing golf non-stop for days.  I'm not really sure what's perked her interest in golf.  Hubby and I neither one care for the game..unless it's of the miniature variety.  And, we haven't spoken about miniature golf with her before.  It actually started a couple of months ago.  She saw a small golf set at Wal-Mart, and wanted it.  In fact, she asked for it each time we went in to the store...and I promised her that once we moved in to our new house, she could have a set.  Which she didn't forget about.  She asked me the very first day we moved in.

I bought her the set, but it's a little babyish for her.  The balls are so light that the slightest breeze sends them off on their own with no assistance from a club.  That bothers her.  So, now she wants a real set...why?  I don't know.  She has weird quirks, what can I say?

Of course, now I'm looking at the weather and there's a small chance for storms today.  Figures.  Maybe we should hurry up and get around so that we don't end up getting rained out from our fun in the sun.

I'm not really sure how long I can go on writing my blogs on the patio.  Yes, it's beautiful out here... birds chirping, humming birds stopping by for a quick visit, and so on... but it's also getting to the point that by 9am, it's hot as Hades out here.  And there's flies.  So. Many. Flies.  UGH!

While I'm teaching summer school it's not so bad.  At 5am, it's still really nice out here...and not so many flies.  Maybe I'll just stick to weekday posts from my iPad and weekend posts from my computer.  

OK, I've rambled on enough...time to go enjoy my Saturday.

Toodles!

Jo

Urm....You Want Me To Teach What?

So, I went back to work yesterday.  Well, technically I was supposed to be going in for a day of observation just to kinda see how things are run and what I'd be doing while I am teaching.  I wasn't supposed to actually start working until today.  What I didn't know until I got there was that I would, in fact, be jumping right in the deep end and taking over for a teacher that was gone...who also just happened to be the teacher I was going to be taking over for anyway.  For half the day, anyway.

I found out that in the mornings, for the next two weeks, I'll be teaching science to 4th and 5th graders.  OK, no biggie.  I teach 4th graders for a living.  How hard can that be?  Except, I found out I'm going to be teaching about simple and complex machines...and building them.  I've been given kits full of fischertechnix pieces (that are like Legos, but not) and I'm supposed to teach these kids how to put these little pieces together in order to make moving and working machines.  I know nothing about building simple or complex machines from tiny little pieces.

Thankfully, the best thing about 4th and 5th graders is that they can do just about anything you ask them to do with creative stuff.  You give them some pieces and some instructions...with pictures...and they can figure out how to put stuff together.  At least that's what I'm hoping...cause that's what they'll be doing for the next two weeks.  Sure, I can tell them the purposes of simple and complex machines.  I can tell them how they work.  But build them?  Yeah... not so much.

So, that's the morning.  Wanna hear what I'm supposed to be teaching in the afternoon to Jr. High kids?

Golf.

I'm supposed to teach this kind of golf... but I know nothing about this type of golf...

When I think of golf, I think of this kind of golf...

And so, I made the executive decision to teach the golf that I know.  Well, the golf I know more about than regular golf.  I've only played frisbee golf a few times, but enough to know the rules and how to do it.  And I figure that's enough to get me by.

It's no surprise that in the afternoons, I'm taking over for a coach.  Well, actually he's going to be our new assistant principal, but his background is being a coach.  I think teaching golf is a great idea.  For two weeks, that's what the kids have been doing.  They've been using golf clubs and driving mats and chipping nets...and I only know that because I looked at the list of materials.  Otherwise, I'd say they've been using the sticks, fake grass, and miniature volleyball nets.  Golf is a great game of skill, but it needs to be taught to them by someone who's at least held a golf club and maybe watched a game of golf in his/her life.  And that wouldn't be me.

But, in my list of materials I also saw hula hoops, frisbees, and cones.  The perfect materials to set up a few obstacles and courses of frisbee golf.  The only things I'm missing would be the baskets, but that's OK.  They'd be awfully heavy to haul out to the playground each day.

Yesterday, being that it was so hot and the kids did nothing but whine about how hot it was... I just had them do some small drills in which they tried to get a frisbee in a hoop.  It was a lot harder than they thought, but they weren't really trying.  They just wanted to go back inside where it was cool.  It's going to be a tough couple of weeks trying to teach these kids how to play an outdoor game when all they want to do is be inside... but I'll just have to see how persuasive I can be.

But, for right now, I have to go.  

Thank goodness today is Friday, so I can have a couple of days off to come up with some ideas.  This is going to be a fun, and tough couple of weeks...that's for sure.  HA!

Jo.

Time to Head Back to Work.... I Suppose

Well, the time has come.  Vacation time is over.  Staying up late and sleeping in are going to become a thing of the past again.  Getting up at 5am is coming back to the line up.

For the next two weeks, anyway.

Because from today until June 28th, I'm teaching summer school.

Well, technically, I don't start teaching until tomorrow, but I'm going in today so that Jelly can have a day to adjust and I can see what's been going on for the past two weeks.

See...not all teachers get the entire summer off.  In fact, most teachers don't.  I've been off for three weeks, and then I'll have the whole month of July and the first week of August and then I have to go back to work.  That's only 8 weeks off.  Not three months at all!

Jelly was super excited last night.  This is her first time attending "big school".  She'll get to ride a school bus and everything.  It'll only be across town, but that's enough to fulfill her life long dream of being able to ride a school bus.  AND it will only be with other little kids, so I don't have to worry and panic that she's being trampled by big kids. 

Jelly is going to be attending the Entering Kindergarten summer program.  It's an introduction to what kindergarten is kinda gonna be like.  They'll at least get an idea of the routines and where they are going to be going to school.  The rest of the time they are going to be having tons of fun exploring and doing summer craft stuff.

I can't believe that my baby is going to be starting kindergarten.  My last child making the leap from daycare to big school.  Of course, there'll be much more of this come August when she's actually starting kindergarten... but kinder prep is just as scary and overwhelming for me.  She'll be going off all by herself to a new building with new kids and new teachers as she'll be going to school at the primary school, which is a totally different building than where I teach.  I teach in the upper elementary school which is a few miles away from her school.  The good thing is, though, I can take her to my school and the bus will pick her up from there and take her to the primary every morning.  Her desire to ride a school bus is so strong that she doesn't even want me to take her for her first day.  I'm going to be a nervous wreck sending her off this morning... but it's what she wants, and I have to honor that.  Well, I don't.  But, I'm going to be a good, supportive mother and allow her to spread her wings just a little.  Despite the fact that I'll be panicking until she comes back to me at 3:15pm.

Butter is also going to summer school.  More out of sanity than necessity.  He doesn't really need summer school because of the academics, but he does need it to have something to do.  It only takes him a couple of weeks before he starts getting antsy and bored.  He stayed with my mom for two weeks, and he's been home with me for a week, so it's the perfect time for him to go to summer school for a couple of weeks.  He'll get to see his friends, be involved in some cool projects, and have stuff to do.  

Let's not forget that breakfast and lunch are provided for both weeks...so that saves me a little money, also.

It was a lot easier for me to get out of bed than I thought it would be this morning.  I didn't hit the snooze button at all on my alarm.  I even had some trouble getting to sleep last night and was still awake at 11pm.  I'm sure after today, I won't have any problem going to bed tonight and getting up early in the morning will just become the norm again.

Yesterday was a pretty relaxing day.  I didn't really do much of anything.  I did Jelly's laundry...and....well..that's it.  I didn't go anywhere.  

Hubby was able to get our AC working before 9am yesterday morning, so the house cooled off rather quickly.  Thankfully, it was a minor part that had burned out, and cost us less than $30 to fix.  So much better than paying a repair man $100 to come and fix it.  

Well, that's it for me today.  I have another blog post I have to write before getting ready for work.

Don't forget that I've started Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman up again.  You can find that at www.diaryoffatwoman.blogspot.com

Toodles!!

Jo

I'm Cursed!!

Yesterday just wasn't my day.  It started off just fine, but things did not seem to go my way as the day went on.

First... hottest day of the year so far.  Temps flew in to the 90s in a matter of a couple of hours.  Would be a great day to jump in the pool with the kids and cool off, right?  Wrong-O.  Of course Aunt Flo would stop by for a visit.  And, yes, I'm perfectly aware that I can swim if Aunt Flo visits by using certain feminine devices.. but I don't use them.  And now you know way too much information about me.  Aren't you happy now?

Second...After spending two grueling hours in the heat watching over the kids while they laugh and frolic around in the pool, it's time to get out and head inside for me to cool off.  I go out in to the kitchen to get something to drink, and I walk in to a puddle of water.  That's never good when the puddle is right in the middle of the floor.  Not that a pool of water is good in any place, but an actual pool... but you know what I mean.  It's not by the sink or the dishwasher, so I could rule those things out.  Hubby comes in and starts digging around only to find there's some kind of leak coming out of the bottom of the refrigerator.  Awesome.  Thankfully, he fixes it pretty quick.

And then...I'm sitting in the living room wondering why on earth I'm really not feeling like I'm cooling down.  I'm still sweating... and I should be feeling nice and relaxed after being in the house almost an hour by this point.  Not even two minutes after having that feeling, Hubby comes to inform me that our AC isn't working.

Really?

Awesome!

I swear, I think I have some kind of Air Conditioner Curse.  It doesn't matter what house I'm in, something ends up causing our AC to break down.

At first, I'm thinking it's no big deal.  Our AC unit is only 4 years old, so surely it's still under warranty, right? YEP.  It is.  For the parts.  The warranty doesn't cover the labor that will be involved for actually replacing whatever parts are actually broken.

And to put some icing on the cake, all of this happens at 5:28pm.  Normal service hours for the local AC repair place is 5:30pm.  A service call before 5:30 costs $82.  A service call after 5:30pm?  $123.

Could things get any worse?

Actually...no.  My parents called and asked if we wanted to go eat dinner with them.  I jumped on the chance, being that I was sweating like a banshee and needed to get out of the house for a while.  Hubby stayed behind.  He wanted to fiddle around with the AC some more.  He was convinced that the problem was a burned out capacitor.  Which, buying the part and fixing it ourselves, would only cost about $30... had any of the part stores been open.

When I got home around 8:00pm, it had barely started to cool off outside.  The temps outside were still in the high 80s, but the temps inside the house were higher... so it was time to open up all the windows and doors to let in some air.  It was at that point I thanked all things holy that we have so many patio doors in our house.  We have four.  One on the front, two on the back, and one off of our bedroom.  Opening up all of those bad boys lets in some nice cross breezes.

We brought with us all of our fans from the old house, thankfully, so we had fans to get us through the night.  Hubby was up bright and early to get to a dealership to buy the new part for the AC.  It only cost him $27.. much better than what it would have cost had we had a repair man come fix it.

It took Hubby all of two minutes to replace the part and.......?

Wallah... we have AC again.  YAY!!

I guess I should be thankful that our problem happened on a Tuesday and not a Saturday evening.  I guess I should also be thankful that it was a small job that was easily fixable by the not-so-mechanical hands of Hubby.

That's because today is a new day!  Yesterday wasn't such a great day, but today is going to be better!

I didn't get any feedback yesterday when asking for opinions on whether or not I should dust off Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman.  So, I did anyway.  I dusted off the old blog...gave her a fancy new paint job, updated the header, and deleted the post that directed traffic to this blog.

AND... I decided not to go with the Wordpress format.  I'm going back to my original domain name... and just starting off fresh.

I've decided that I'm going to keep this blog as my day to day happenings.  Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman comes back to talk only about my weight loss efforts.

I'm excited and a little nervous about embarking on that journey once again.  What will it be like?  Will I have any success?  Will my old blogging persona come back in full force making me kick butts and take names in the process?

One can only hope.

I'm ready for my journey to begin again... I really feel like I am.  I've had a couple of years off.  It's time to jump back on the band wagon.

And, right now... it's time to start jumping...right on over to my other blog.

Come see me there!!  But don't leave here!!

Two blogs.  Two personalities.  Both the reflections and thoughts of me.

Here... The Life and Times of Jo

There... Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman

Life.  Love.  Family.  Stress.  Crazy.  Work.  Weight loss.

There's just too much of me to fit it all in one place.  It just makes sense to open up some space that's been vacant for way too long.

Here I go!!

Blast From the Past

Welp, I had a great ME day yesterday.  I finished up my blogging, jumped in the shower, got dressed, and headed out in to the world for groceries... and lots of them.

I'd almost forgotten how nice it was to just walk around a grocery store without kids asking for stuff, scanning through a list to make sure you've got everything only to realize that you've forgotten something in the back of the store and walk alway the back, and not having to compete with weekend crowds.  It was an enjoyable grocery shopping experience - and I don't get to say that too often.  I don't think many people do.

A couple of hours and $250 later, my trunk was stuffed to the max with a week's worth of groceries.. maybe a few days more.  Chicken and pork loin and beef and fish and veggies and sides.  Also some stuff for lunches and breakfasts, even though we won't be eating them here after Wednesday for a couple of weeks.

Once I got home and unloaded everything, I was a hot mess.  It finally got in to a summer like temp here yesterday, so there was only one place I wanted to be after that: The pool.  The kids and I swam for a while with my favorite tunes blasting from the speakers that Hubby hooked up.  It's so nice to have some music while we're out there.  I swam several laps, took a break by lounging in pool lounger, then went back to swimming laps.  It felt amazing.  I'm thinking that's going to be a fast daily routine if the weather stays as hot or hotter than it was yesterday.

Hubby's brother and sister came over once I was out of the pool, so I cooked up a huge pot of spaghetti and fixed some garlic bread for everyone.  A cheap meal when feeding seven people.  Everyone enjoyed it, and after stacking the dishwasher and cleaning up the kitchen I was done for the day.

So, there's my recap of my Me day... but not what I really wanted to blog about today.

After I finished up blogging, yesterday morning, I took a few minutes to read through some blogs... like I usually do.  I noticed that my brother-in-law had started a blog, so I wanted to check it out.  It's a Wordpress blog, and when I clicked on the link, it asked for my username and password.  I knew that I had created a Wordpress account at some point... but when I got in to my account, I discovered something I'd totally forgotten about.

Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman is still alive.

In Wordpress format.  

Apparently, back in 2011, when I was kicking butt and taking names in exercising and losing weight, I tried converting my blog in to a Wordpress blog.  I vaguely remember a time when I was having issues with Blogger, and thought it might be better to switch to a different provider.  Apparently, Blogger fixed the issues I was having... or I didn't want to lose all of my followers... because once I uploaded all my past posts over there, I never did anything else with that blog.

I don't care what anyone says, Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman was my greatest blogging persona.  I had a mission, purpose, and drive that gained interest from many weight loss bloggers and people on the hunt for a blog that offered real life results, struggles, and commitment with weight loss.  And I think I delivered when I blogged as The Mad, Fat Woman.  

Once I started messing around with changing the name of my blog, not once but twice, I started to change right along with my blog.  I no longer held the same passion and drive.  I no longer offered the same insights and commitments.  I teeter tottered so much between losing weight and not losing weight, that it was enough to make anyone's head spin.

Don't get me wrong.  I enjoy my blogging very much right here on this blog.  This is my life blog... what happens day in and day out as a fiancé, mother, and teacher.  But a lot is missing from this blog that I had when I was the Mad, Fat Woman.  My followers... the comments... the support... the community feeling.  I still have a few faithful followers that have followed me around as I've made all the changes.. and to those people I'm very grateful for their support... but it's still not the same.  I used to be involved with other bloggers on a more personal level, I was involved with the happenings and goings on in the weight loss world.  I no longer feel I have that.  I'm out of the loop... another name on the wall that fell off the weight loss train and stayed and took up the life of blogging in a new town.  

Apart of me wants that old feeling back again.  The feeling I had when I blogged constantly about my weight loss progress, both good and bad.  I somehow managed to write for over a year about nothing but weight loss, and always felt like my writing had meaning and a set purpose.  It was much harder when I wasn't having that much success, which sometimes pushed me harder to do what I needed to do - just so I had something to write about.  

But then, I just gave up.  I hung up my Mad, Fat Woman jacket and said goodbye, thinking it was gone forever.  

And then a quick blast from the past tells me... she's not dead.  She's not gone.  She's alive, but lying dormant on another blogging host.  

Is it a sign?

Did I see it, yesterday, because I have been wanting to get back to my weight loss lifestyle but not sure how to approach it now that I've made so many changes here?

I can't say anything for sure... but I have a feeling I'm going to be dusting off some cyber cobwebs pretty soon.  

I'm not naive enough to believe that a certain blog was the reason I had so much success in my weight loss efforts.  I'm not stupid enough to think that just because I go back to blogging as the person that gave me the most success is going to have the same results... maybe even better results.  But, I do know with utmost certainty that when I said goodbye to Diary of a Mad, Fat Woman I said goodbye to that girl that blogged with the only purpose of losing weight and sharing the experiences as each pound fell off.  

I have a lot to think about.  

But, right now isn't that time to think about it.  Butter has a doctor's appointment in an hour and I'm still sitting here in my pajamas.  Better think about getting ready to take him.

But, I will ask you all.  If there are any of you out there that knew me as The Mad, Fat Woman and followed me here...what do you think?  Do you think I might see more success if I think about weight loss blogging again?  Do you think I've changed from who I was then to who I am now?

You're insights are greatly appreciated.

And for the record, if I do dust off the old blog, I won't be leaving this one.  This will stay my day to day life - that blog would be strictly weight loss.  But, I'm very curious to see what people think... especially those people that have been wonderful enough to stick with me for all these years.

Till next time...

Jo   

Time For a Me Day

I got up at 7:30 this morning.  Not because anyone woke me up, not because I had to... but because I know everyone else in the house is still sleeping - and it's been so long that I could just sit and enjoy my morning peace and quiet.

I'm sitting on my patio, with my iPad and coffee, listening to the birds sing and the earth wake up.  I've waited for so long to enjoy moments like this one.  Not another soul out here with me... just me and my thoughts, and the little humming bird that occasionally stops by to say hi.  No kids asking for stuff, no Hubby rambling on about stuff he wants to buy, no chance of my phone ringing from someone who just wants a quick chat.  Just ME.

While I'd much rather blog from my computer, where all of my tools and formats are at my fingertips.. using my iPad so that I can enjoy times like this are OK.  I have a fancy keyboard thing, so it's like typing on a laptop... and even though it doesn't format the same way as it does on my computer - it gets the job done.  I have a feeling that most of my summer blogs will come from this very spot, and I have no plans of permanently moving my inside computer outside.

So, in case you were wondering, my mouth is healing up nicely.  Still a little swollen, but I haven't taken any pain pills in two days so that's a good sign.  I've had no pain, really.  Even when I have to sneeze or cough.  My sneezing is very dramatic, because I don't want to risk holding in any pressure... so I end up sneezing all over myself.  It's gross.  But, not painful.  I'll take gross over painful any day.

One amazing benefit I've had since having my teeth pulled is that I've lost a few pounds.  Which is not surprising being that I spent two days eating nothing but yogurt, and when I did start eating regular food it's very small, slow bites.  Last night, it took me almost 30 minutes to finish my dinner because I ate so slowly and made sure to chew my food up very well.  It's also caused me to drink a lot more water.

I discovered while taking my medicine on the first day that the water in my house actually tastes good. I mean the water from the tap.  Regular tap water.  Do you know that last time I've been able to drink water from the tap?  At my old house, a glass of water tasted like I'd just stuck my glass in a lake and took a big drink.  It was gross.  But here?  It's not that much different from the bottled water Hubby bought for me on the first day.  No dirt taste or chemical taste.  So, I've been adding tall glasses of water to my daily routine... several of them actually.  

Just this morning, the first thing I did when I got up was drink a big ol' glass of water.  Of course, I'm on to coffee now.. but a glass of water to start my day was a good feeling.

Anywho, there's a reason for my blog title and what I planned on blogging about today:  ME day.

Like I first started out explaining, it's been a while since I could enjoy my morning me time.  In a few days, I won't have to worry about that because I go back to work to teach summer school for two weeks.  For two weeks, I'll have my morning blog time back.  But, since school got out, it's been a totally different experience.

I've been getting up, and doing Mommy things.  Cleaning, washing dishes, laundry, supervising the kids while they play or swim, more laundry, some cooking, more dishes.  I've turned in to Susie Homemaker.  Don't get me wrong, I've loved every minute of it.  In the old house, I had absolutely no part in household duties.  Hubby did all of the cooking, the kids did the dishes, OK I did laundry and stuff... but only because I needed clothes to wear.  Regular cleaning was a wasted chore in my opinion.. no matter how much I dusted and vacuumed and straightened up, I could never get it to look the way I wanted it to.  But now?  It's a whole different story.  It's almost like I've done a complete 360.  I have to be pottering around constantly putting something away or cleaning something.  And it's just fine with me.

Except for the fact that I've been doing it for two weeks straight, and I'm starting to feel little pangs of needing some me time.  Just me.  No kids.  No Hubby.  Just me.  So, yesterday, I decided that today would be that day.  I'm going to go out today, all by myself, and enjoy some alone time.  OK, so I'm only going to get out and do some grocery shopping and run a few errands... but I can do so with the radio blasting my music, taking my sweet time, and not feeling pressured by anyone or anything.

I'm also doing something I haven't done in a very long time:  I'm going grocery shopping without a grocery list.  Now, grocery shopping by memory and sight used to be the norm for me.  In the days before Hubby when my life revolved around filling my cabinets and freezer with the easiest of meal ideas.  I'd aimlessly walk around the grocery store deciding on the stuff that looked or sounded good and loading up.  Then, Hubby and his OCD and my desire to eat more healthily, caused me to start meal planning and grocery shopping from a strict list.  Despite my weight loss plans falling to the wayside, the meal planning and structured grocery list stayed.  Up until the point where it didn't and we started buying groceries day by day... and Hubby or I would wander to the grocery store every day with our list to purchase the ingredients needed for that specific meal.  That's been going on for the past month or so, and it's finally gotten to the point where it's driving me nuts!

Being that I'm now morphing in to Susie Homemaker, I've decided to try something totally different today.  I'm heading out with one purpose in mind:  Fill our freezers and cabinets with an array of meats, veggies, and sides so that we can get creative in the kitchen and start preparing fabulous meals without the daily chore of deciding what we want to eat.  I want to be able to walk in to my kitchen, open up the freezer, and just get inspired to create a great home cooked meal right there with what I have to work with.

I know... doesn't sound like me, does it?

Being that I'm totally digging the fact that the scale is going down, I'm keeping that in mind while I go out for my grocery treasure hunt.  Lots of chicken and fish and lean pork will make it's way in to the cart, I'm thinking.  Along with rice and couscous and steamable veggies.  I'm getting excited just thinking about it.

Wow, it's been a long time since I wrote this much.  See what a few minutes alone does for me?  I can't believe anyone is still reading... but if you are THANKS FOR STICKING WITH ME!

In all honesty, I'm really starting to get lots of pangs.  The Susie Homemaker pangs.  The alone time pangs.  And, surprisingly enough, pangs similar to what I had a few years ago when I really jumped in with my weight loss efforts and had great success.  While working in my bedroom yesterday finishing up the unpacking of the last few boxes of stuff that were waiting to be unpacked, I came across all of my workout clothes.  I looked at how small some of them were and it made me realize how far I got, and how far I've derailed since then.  Luckily, I kept all of my workout clothes:  The beginning ones and the end ones.  My hope is that I can start out, once again, in the larger ones and get down to those smaller ones again.

And before I hear any comments of "here we go again", let me say that I'm not making any promises. I'm not committing to anything.  I'm just sharing the fact that it's been on my mind.  A lot.  I don't know what I'll do with these pangs... but the best thing to do would be to start going with them and seeing what it gets me.  If I get the desire to go for an evening walk, well then I'm going to go.  If I get the desire to jump in the pool and swim for a while, I'm going to (when my pool gets above freezing..HA).  I know that as long as I just sit and think about it, nothing is going to happen.  There's a strong possibility that the thoughts and desires will pass.. but I should take advantage of them while I have them, right?

Take the gardening.  I haven't started that yet.  Something else I need to get to doing.. before it's much too hot and dry to get anything done out there.  Maybe something to do when I get back from my grocery shopping?  We'll see.  

I know I've said all of this stuff a few times since moving in, and I still haven't followed up on it.  I'm going to throw in the fact that I had three teeth pulled just a couple of days ago that had dampened my desire to do much physical activity... but it's healing nicely, and I think I've past the restriction time.  Now it's time to put my thoughts and desires in to reality.  Don't you think?

Well, we'll see.  But right now, I better go before I end up writing an entire book.  My Me Day won't start it's self.  I have to jump in the shower and prepare for some fun in the sun.  Or grocery stores.. whatevs.

Have a great Monday!

Jo