The first will be April 30th - the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. That's the one that I've had my training focused on for months.
The second will be May 6th. It's my school district's fundraiser 5K. I've been helping out with running club at my school for a few weeks now - coaching (or should I say just running behind) the 2nd grade boys. We've been interval running 2.4 miles the past couple of weeks. Hopefully, by the time the race happens, the boys will be ready to go the full 3.1 miles.
Today, I hear about another 5K race. It's on May 7th....yes just one day after my 2nd 5K. It's a 5K that benefits Autism...and I'd like to support a cause like that. The fact that it's one day later isn't too bad....except one is at 6:30 in the evening and the next one is at 8 the next morning. Even though I know that I can pull off a 5K...2 in less than 24 hours is another story.
Now that the race dates are getting closer, I'm starting to get more nervous. I should be able to run further - or at least faster - than what I have been able to do. I'm averaging at around 15 minutes per mile and I'm not really able to run much more than 12 minute intervals. On the plus side, I am feeling that my stamina has increased quite a bit. Yesterday, I managed to run for more than 15 minutes without having to stop... but my pace was closer to 17 minutes per mile.
I haven't decided if I'd be happier being able to run slower for a longer time or run faster but needing more walking breaks. Either way - I need to up the training and the intensity, that's for sure.
I've gotten in to this weird mindset that doesn't make running an exercise for me anymore - but more of a stress reliever. That's good - and bad. It's good because, well...hello, it's a stress reliever. It keeps me away from binge eating. It brightens my mood. It makes me feel good. It's bad because I'm scared that if I push myself too hard - I'll stop enjoying it so much...that make sense?
Let's take yesterday, for example. I went out to my parent's house to run the 3.1 mile loop around their house. I started off really wanting to test my pace time - push myself. Once I got in the run, however, my mind starting wandering. My pace started slowing down and I focused more on relaxing and taking it easy than doing what I had intended to do. I quit worrying about how fast I was running and decided to enjoy the run.
Same thing happened at running club today. I was the "lag" person - meaning I had to stay behind for the slower runners. Once I slowed down my pace to stay with them - I didn't really feel like pushing myself very hard and decided to enjoy the nice weather and jog. I jogged longer than I usually do - and more frequently - but the pace was much slower.
I guess, at the end of the day, I should be happy about finding an exercise I truly love. My problem, though, is that I'm never going to get where I want to be if I just keep slacking off. If I want to truly compete in the 5K races - and I do - then I really have to get serious about my training. It's a rock and hard place situation.
What I do know is that as long as I want to run and I get out there and do it then I'm burning calories. I'm exercising. Maybe I'm not cut out to be a bonefide runner - or a competitive runner - but I love the idea of being one...I like the feeling of working towards something. I guess it's just another one of those "take one day at a time" situations.
Speaking of which - I'm still feeling peppy and not depressed. I even heard about an intern that may have a job offer today - and was genuinely happy for her. I didn't feel any form of jealousy or resentment. I was happy to hear about her opportunity and filed it in my head as "my time will come". That's huge. I'm really starting to believe that I'm going to be OK - job or no job offer.
Before I go, I want to mention the guest post stuff again. If you've emailed me - or haven't but meant to - then I would love it if you'd send me your post. I'm going to make a file and post one a week...or on the days where I don't really have much to say. If you have spoken to me about guest posting on your blog - just let me know when you send me your post and I'll send mine back to you.
OK, think that's all for today.
Till next time. ;)
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